During my adult life (I'm 48) I've had about 15 different jobs, been laid off about 7 times and only stayed at 1 job over 4 years. Many of my jobs were screwed up with bad management and sometimes abusive. My relationships are just as bad. I had a few relationships wih alcoholics or other dysfunctions. Mostly I just was alone and I've never gone out with anybody more than 2 years in my 30 years since high school. I finially have a stable job and a stable boyfriend. It's making me depressed because I'm used to all this stuff going on. I'm so bored. I think it's me and my ADHD. I tried the drugs but had too many side effect so I just have to tolerate everything. It's difficult for me. Normal life just seems so boring to me.

p.s. I've tried the medication but had too many side effects.

That's rough, I'm sorry to hear that. I'm not sure I really have any answers for you, but it sounds like you are addicted to drama. That's not at all uncommon, especially with ADHD when boredom is so unbearable and we need constant stimulation. Are you opposed to trying a different medication? Not that I'm a big drug pusher, but it really might help until you've gotten used to your (sometimes boring) stability. Or talk to your doctor about some talking therapy? I know it's hard to keep trying different tracks, but it won't be as hard as what you're going through now. Good luck!

I already tried the drugs and had too many side effects. I've also had the talking therapy. I could try that again. I guess that's just the way it is. I'm not addicted to the drama anymore but I do need stimulation. I guess there's no real answer, that's why I haven't gotten many responses. I'm suprised that there aren't more people trying to go it without the drugs. Seems like this board is mostly about meds.

Yes, I think people don't respond mainly if they don't know what to say, not because they don't want to help. Probably this board is about the meds because without them, many of us would not be organized enough to get on the computer and stay on one page for long enough to post. Good luck, really. I wish I had some more helpful suggestion. If I did, I'd take it myself!

During my adult life (I'm 48) I've had about 15 different jobs, been laid off about 7 times and only stayed at 1 job over 4 years. Many of my jobs were screwed up with bad management and sometimes abusive. My relationships are just as bad. I had a few relationships wih alcoholics or other dysfunctions. Mostly I just was alone and I've never gone out with anybody more than 2 years in my 30 years since high school. I finially have a stable job and a stable boyfriend. It's making me depressed because I'm used to all this stuff going on. I'm so bored. I think it's me and my ADHD. I tried the drugs but had too many side effect so I just have to tolerate everything. It's difficult for me. Normal life just seems so boring to me.

p.s. I've tried the medication but had too many side effects.

Sorry – It’s a bit long.

I’m curious as to how long ago it was that you had been on medication and what dosages you were on? I know it may sound stupid but I think certain meds are getting better from what I have read. I can’t say I understand your situation exactly, but I do feel your pain and empathize with you. I also happen to be in my late forties and seven months ago I started taking a medication after I found that I have ADD.

For me life was not so boring in fact for me there was too much going on all the time I was just overloaded and my brain never stopped. I didn’t figure out that I had dyslexia until I got kicked out of college because of my poor grades. Looking back I now understand why I was left back twice in school, always felt different than the rest of the crowd and suffered with bouts of isolation, anxiety, depression and anger that could last for months. Since college I’ve had eight jobs, several temp jobs, and one company. I only left one job to relocate the rest I was politely let go with some excuse. I worked in a family business from which I was fired three times by my father. Seeing the other employee’s looks when I got hired back each time was no ego booster.

Since high school I’ve only been in a couple of short relationships and I never really understood why they ended until now. I really enjoyed being with and sharing life with someone but for most of my life it seems I was considered a loner so after a break up coping for me was probably a lot easier.

Looking back it seems strange but some how in my late thirties I got married. I liked the relationship but didn’t want marriage because I felt I new that it would end sooner or later. But I guess I caved mostly because of family and societies pressures. Well the bouts of anxiety, depression, anger and self directed isolation still occurred. I tried very hard to control them and mask them even more. After a couple of years of marriage the results of ADD/Dyslexia did put a big strain on our relationship. Combine that with current pressures at work, buying a house and moving to a new town and then meeting someone new in my life pretty much put me over the edge into a long depressive state and my family, wife and in-laws were all over me.

The next thing I know I’m sitting in a psychiatrists office being prescribed antidepressants and having to see a therapist twice a week. Several doctors later with assorted antidepressants I was worse than when I started. I was at a point where I was ready to leave my job, my wife, and my home and start a new life by myself, which seemed it would be less painful then what I had been dealing with. The next doctor interviewed me took me off of the antidepressants, tested me and prescribed 15 milligrams of Adderall XR which is a very low starting dose. It didn’t really solve the total problem but now it seems I have a fighting chance dealing life and the ADD and I’m starting to turn things around. There are some minimal side effects at this dose like dry mouth, sweats, and disrupted sleep, but after seven months my sleeping is pretty much back to normal.

Since then the doctor has wanted to increase my dosage several times and said the 15 milligrams is a Childs dose. He said I’m not getting the full benefit of the medicine and for my size I should be taking 30 to 35 milligrams a day. I said NO, NO, NO, I don’t really want to be taking anything and though this is not a cure-all my life is a bit better than before and I’ll stay right where I am.

It seems or at least it seems to me that I’m starting to turn my life around and can deal with day-to-day living a lot better than before. As I said its no cure-all but it sure beats the daily unending frustration and pain that I had accepted since kindergarten.

I really hope things eventually work out for you. If its been a long time since you were on meds you may want to talk to a doctor to see what the differences are from back then and now. A Childs dose of a particular medication may make enough of a difference for you as it did for me.

Good Luck

Well, I was on adderal and a small dose at that. I have another medical problem that's fairly complex but the adderal seemed to make the condition worse. I also had a bad temper and it made that worse. I was also on ritalin which gave me chest pains.

I have made a lot of progress using yoga. Sometimes the hot yoga seemed to burn out all my energy so I could relax. I started having problems with yoga injuries to the point the I almost had to give it up. Then my medical condition got worse and I've been dealing with that also. Maybe the fact that I had to give up the yoga has gotten me depressed and bored with everything.

I also have a job where there is no work. We're supposed to get some in but I'm not sure when. The other guy I work with is a control freak and needs to do everything himself so it seems like he doesn't want to give anything to me. Maybe I'm not a perfectionist enough for me to help him with his work.

The guy I'm daing is very reliable and normal and that's driving me crazy because I guess I'm used to somebody more entertaining. The entertaining people however tend to have a lot of problems so I know I have to stay with who I'm with and I'm not sure I could even find another job.

I guess I have to just deal with the situation. I'm suprised that nobody seems to want to deal with the ADD without medication. I guess I thought I'd find some people that didn't go on the meds. I guess not.

I'm glad the meds have helped you. I'm not saying people shouldn't go on them.

I was in the relationship section and when I complained about my boyfriend being a little boring they all told me to break up with him. I mentioned I had ADD but they didn't seem to think that was the problem, that I was using it as an excuse. I know ADHD has a lot to do with it. I think he would be a little boring for others also though.

It's just that you can't keep dumping people and expect to find the perfect person. Not when you're 48. That's the story of my life having a bunch of junk going on so I don't get bored. I think I actually went for unstable things so they would end on their own. Now I have stable things and I'm having trouble.

Life is hard I guess, thanks for writing.

YES YES go back to yoga!!! It makes a world of difference, my mom, mother in law and sisters all attest to that. Any exercise helps really. I run to keep my mind feeling healthy. It’s also very difficult, painfully difficult I think, to not have enough to do at work. That makes me not only bored, but agitated and panicky and irritable. Ugh. I’m having a slow time right now, guess that’s why I’m on the message boards so much.
I know what you mean about the guy you’re dating. I married the only "stable" man that I have ever dated in my life. The others were fun and exciting, they were passionate, daring, intellectual, whatever…I married the straight-as-an-arrow guy. You’ve never met anyone so well-adjusted and law-abiding in your life. And yes, sometimes I get so angry at him because I think – with all the "fun" men I could have wound up with, I go with the guy that can’t even work his way up to driving the speed limit? But it got easier as I got used to it. I will always feel the occasional aggravation that he can’t be more "exciting" but what I absolutely know to be true is that the others, all the fun guys that I dated, not a single one had the long term capacity to love me and stick around for me through all my problems with ADD, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, etc. So anyway. I guess that’s not much of an answer. I love my husband, that’s what it comes down to. We’re very different, but I love him so that’s why I married him. Do you love the guy?

Good luck!

It sounds like your relationship is very similar to mine. He's not that straight but he does everything right. Makes dinner for me cleans up, all the things women wish they had. He is passive which means he's not controlling but like you he's the one that is sticking around. We've only been going out 8 months but is seems like , except for the feeling bored sometimes, it's working out. It does make me crazy sometimes.

I'd love to go back to yoga except I have a disc problem in my neck, injured my shoulder, my hip and my wrist. The injuries are getting better but I can't do as much yoga as I'm used to.

I haven't had much to do at work for a whole year. I think some work is coming in but it doesn't help me now.

Thanks for your input.

It sure sounds like you have your hands full and after reading what Sylvia224 says about yoga I would go back to it also.

Good luck!

I definitely feel what you are going through. Making a decision to take care of me, let other people take care of them, know that I am not responsible for others, etc etc. is important.

I am a recovering alcoholic (sober 18 years now), ex 2/1/2pack day smoker (15 years), have struggled all my life with relationships, emotions, learning disabilities. Been the medication route for ADD (none worked) , depression, now premenopausal at age 50, etc etc.

What has worked for me is #1 seeking spiritual growth. There are many different roads out there that all lead to the same end results so if you don't have a particular spiritual interest try different ones and you will find your way. I know what worked for me but that is me and I am not going to promote a particular road as I have seen many ways work successfully.

Other things that have been very important was getting professional counselling for a few years (setting goals when I started and the #1 goal being - not needing to be there), have a few friends I can talk to about "anything", EXCERCISE, eatting the best I can. Now I am adventuring the vitamin supplement route to try and improve how I feel with this middle age aging deal I have now:-). There is no 1 miracle drug, food, vitamin, exercise, etc. it is a combination of what you find that works best for you.

My life today is so different than when I first started my spiritual journey. I try to do all the things I have learned that work for me over the years, accept that I am me and it is ok and strive to be the best, whatever that is for that day. Tomorrow is different.

I don't usually response to message boards but I really felt for you when you said you guess that is no answer. I felt so hopeless with about 6 months to live and now today I am a pretty healthy 50 year old, have a great husband, wonderful grandsons that light up my life, a profession that contributes to the world (I went back to school and graduate when I was 40 years old top of the class - even with my ADD and learning disabilities), have great friends. Most of all I feel I have some direction in my life.

Seek a new way, try different things and you will be surprise where your life can go. But please...don't ever think there is no answer - there are many but we have to seek them. Most things don't happen overnight but miracles happen every day. Sorry this is so long but this is a real passion of mine. I know that a crazy life can become a great life.

Thanks for writing. I'll take in what your said. I didn't mean there was no answer really. I just thought there wasn't much people could write on a message board to answer such a broad question. I've done the same spiritual journey as you have, I think I'm just going through a difficult time adjusting to a stable job and boyfriend. Maybe I have to try some new things. I think counseling might be something I should do right now. I'm glad to see there are others that have gone the no medication route for what ever reason. You sound like you've done well for yourself.

Thanks for writing.