My wife and I have been having a lot of problems with our 7 year old daughter. I have querried the people on the Bipolar Disorder board and they don't seem to think that she has BPD, so I'm posting here to see if any one has any suggestions.

First and foremost are her temper tantrums. She can't stop herself. If we have to say no to one of her requests, she loses it. Once she has finished with her tantrum she is very loving and acts as thought nothing has ever happened. For the most part she is a very passionate little girls. Full of hugs.

Secondly are her lies. She lies about almost anything. There's no limit.

She's very helpful. Always wanting to help in doing everything.

Her eating habits are attrocious. She eats very slowly, picking at her food, then will only eat trace amounts. Of course she expects dessert still, and if we say no......look out.

Almost every night at bedtime she gets stomach cramps. These cramps are real. We have gone through a lot of testing with the Dr., but so far he has not been able to figure out the problem.

Whenever she does something that requires a reprimand of any kind, she tries to bring her sister in or to deflect our attention saying that her sister did it too.

She has a very bad memory. She can't remember what she had for lunch that same day Her sister told her she had a bad memory and she cried very very hard.

She is very concerned about her looks. Always wanting to put make up on (the kids kind).

She's a good sleeper, but almost too good. She sleeps a couple hours longer than her sister who is a year older.

Her weight seems normal. She's thin, but a normal thin.

She does very well in school and actually enjoys it.

I don't know if I've missed anything, but that should provide a pretty good background. So .......... any thoughts or suggestions?

GordyB

Could she have a food allergy? Just an idea to throw out there. I am allergic to really strange foods, uncommon I mean, like bell peppers, eggs whites, brocolli and different perservatives. They cause me sever stomache cramps. I know food allergies in children can cause behavior problems. Does she seem to be worse after eating anything in particular? Does she have and other allergies? Has she ever had an allergy test done? My 17mo has an allergy to tomatoes, if she eats them she is cranky for the rest of the day and really fights bedtime.

If you do a seach for allergies and behavior problems in children you'll come up with a lot of info. HTH

Unlikely that it is food allergies. We have had her checked out for allergies and have even taken away dairy products for a while. But that didn't seem to make a difference.

Some dyes and preservatives in food can cause behaviorial problems in kids. Like red #40. Artificial flavors and even natural flavors listed on the labels can cause this also. This would not be tested for in allergy tests. I have heard a lot of moms say that they eliminated these things and the behaviors got signifigantly better. Do you have a health food store close by? The foods there do not have the artificial flavors, dyes and such. If you see a food item in the regular store that is marketed for children, stay away from it. It is full of artificial crap. Hope you find something that helps.

I have a niece who exhibits the identical behaviors. All the tests were taken and they found nothing physically wrong with her. She is said to have "purely attention seeking behaviors", and none of it is health related.

Her evening stomach aches have been ruled as being caused by her being anxious and insecure.

I assume that her blood suger has been tested to rule out diabetes? That would effect both diet and behavior.

Also, a cousin and a neighbor's kid were both recently dx with something called H. Pylori. I had never heard of it before, but it effected both of their eating habits. (We had always assumed that my cousin had an eating disorder.)

It sounds to me like your daughter is constanly seeking reassurance and attention, and may have some anxiety from it. Some consistant changes in parenting techniques and maybe a therapist might help. Just remember that she's still very young... she may very well have an underlying cause for her behavior, and it is still just undiscovered. Condition or not, she will need you to reinforce the good behavior and to not give her attention (positive or negative) for bad behavior.

First and foremost are her temper tantrums. She can't stop herself. If we have to say no to one of her requests, she loses it. Once she has finished with her tantrum she is very loving and acts as thought nothing has ever happened. For the most part she is a very passionate little girls. Full of hugs.
Well, she's 7. Maybe she needs some help on learning self control. Don't let her tantrums- or her for that matter- control you. Make sure you aren't reinforcing the behavior by giving her lots of attention- positive or negative- when she throws a tantrum. Tell her she's free to scream and cry all she wants, but she needs to go to her room to do it. The more often she notices she isn't getting attention from 'loosing it', that you will not focus on her because of it, she will do it less and less.

Focus on when she is behaving. Get out a game or a special activity to share with her (so she is getting attention) when you see her behaving.

Secondly are her lies. She lies about almost anything. There's no limit.
I'm sure she's noticed that you know she is lying. Doesn't this sound like attention seeking behavior to you? ? What is her punishment for lying? Is it consistantly enforced that lying is not acceptable behavior?


Her eating habits are attrocious. She eats very slowly, picking at her food, then will only eat trace amounts. Of course she expects dessert still, and if we say no......look out.
You are the adult! You say if she gets desert or not. She wants to throw a tantrum? Fine. She can through it in her room. It's not up for discussion- there will be not bargining (a bite of peas for a bite of ice cream etc). Obviously she's still hungry is she wants desert... and when she gets the point, that you are in charge, and the food choices are what you give her, then she will eat more of her meals.


She is very concerned about her looks. Always wanting to put make up on (the kids kind).
Just to make sure I understand, you're saying that she's insecure? Feelings of insecurity could be causing the stomach aches or the sleepiness. Makesure that you praise her for her kindness, talents, morality, etc. instead of her looks. Not saying you can't tell her she's pretty, but make sure she understands that it's the inside of a person that makes them beautiful.



She does very well in school and actually enjoys it.
Good behavior and good grades in school reap positive reinforcement.

That's all I've got to say... hope it was some help.

TELLIMONIA ~ Awesome Advice. I stumbled across this thread and unfortunately it sounds a lot like my 8 year old son with out the make-up part. :) I have thought about "therapy" or at least a professional to talk to. Someone trained to get inside his head and at least maybe tell me what's going on in there so I can continue in the proper direction. He's a wonderful, loving, caring little boy, just really hard to handle sometimes. Thanks!!