Hi everyone!!! :wave:
I am having a big problem again. :eek: I am losing control over myself and my life. On the last thread I posted I was telling you about the voices and the other part of me (bad part). Well my fears are coming true; they are starting to take control over me again and I don't want me or anyone else to get hurt if it gets out of control. The only big speed bumps for me for getting help is I never learned to talk to people (not social), I am scared of ( doctors and hospitals), and to top the cake I don't want to let down my family and worry them. So you can see my problem is hard for me but what do i do if it gets worse. Plus on top of that I can't let them know that I have been lieing to them about my emotions and feelings for this long period of time (i put a cover over my depression to hide it so people will leave me alone and i don't like people worrying about me).

So if you could help me I would appreciate it!!!!! :confused:
Best of luck to all :angel:
KIBA

Hi everyone!!! :wave:
I am having a big problem again. :eek: I am losing control over myself and my life. On the last thread I posted I was telling you about the voices and the other part of me (bad part). Well my fears are coming true; they are starting to take control over me again and I don't want me or anyone else to get hurt if it gets out of control. The only big speed bumps for me for getting help is I never learned to talk to people (not social), I am scared of ( doctors and hospitals), and to top the cake I don't want to let down my family and worry them. So you can see my problem is hard for me but what do i do if it gets worse. Plus on top of that I can't let them know that I have been lieing to them about my emotions and feelings for this long period of time (i put a cover over my depression to hide it so people will leave me alone and i don't like people worrying about me).

So if you could help me I would appreciate it!!!!! :confused:
Best of luck to all :angel:
KIBA

Hi KIBA :wave:
Hey sweetie! I am so sorry you are having to go through this all alone. I think you should tell your parents so they can get you the help that you need. I know how it is to want to protect them from worry. I have children and if they don't tell me everything, that makes me worry even more. If you feel like you are going to loose control and hurt yourself or someone else. Please pick up the phone and dial 911 and just tell them exactly what you told us on the boards. You don't have to suffer alone. I know the doctors and the nurses are scary but they are there to understand and help you.

Many warm hugs,
Sam :angel:

Hi everyone!!! :wave: ...The only big speed bumps for me for getting help is I never learned to talk to people (not social), I am scared of ( doctors and hospitals), and to top the cake I don't want to let down my family and worry them. So you can see my problem is hard for me but what do i do if it gets worse. Plus on top of that I can't let them know that I have been lieing to them about my emotions and feelings for this long period of time (i put a cover over my depression to hide it so people will leave me alone and i don't like people worrying about me).
Best of luck to all :angel:
KIBA

I had the same problem when I first got depressed. I went to see my family doctor and he put me on Paxil but it wasn't working and I went back to him. I told him that i was suicidal and cutting and he left the room. Next thing you know the nurse comes in and tells me that they're sending me to the hospital. I just cried and cried. But I'm glad it happened that way because even though I'm not 100% I'm much better then I was back then...this was 3.5 years ago. When I first started therapy I hated it because, like you, I don't talk about my problems. I just can't verbally express my emotions. In fact, at time I still can't. But it got a lot easier as I began to trust my therapist. I didn't tell my family when I first got depressed...I live 9 hours away from them. My sister told my mom though when I was in the hospital because my mom was trying to call me at my job and not getting any response. Nobody expected ME to be depressed because I was always the strong one and helping other people with their problems. It was just a big cover up so noone could see the REAL ME. I have mental illnesses on both sides of my family. You might want to check your family history to see if this is the case with your family as well. May bring some light to some questions you may be having. I understand your worries about your family. Everyone that has a mental illness goes through those feelings. I still have them at times but I'm surrounded by a lot of people in my life that are also struggling with the same things that its been helping me. Building a support group is a must if you want to get better. Group therapy could help with that. I don't want my family to worry about me also, but don't you deserve that love and support like everyone else??? If you have to, write a letter to the one person in your family that you know will give you the support you need and ask to talk to them in person. After you get their support ask them if they'd go with you to talk to your family about this. It helps if you have someone there with you that can talk if you get frustrated and to know that atleast one person understands what you're dealing with and where you're coming from. Also, if you decide to go to therapy, there are family sessions that you can have where your mom, dad, or even a sibling can come in on the session. It's not mandatory that you have a family session so if you get involved with a therapist that keeps pushing it on you, you may want to re-evaluate that therapist - patient relationship. I hope this helps some. Feel free to express yourself here if you need to. We're all here to help each other and we've all gone through/are still going through the same things. :nono:

very well said bbybyrd. I started Paxil and began to cut wonder if they are connected

take care