I have a two-fold diagnosis. Major Depression and Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. I am on lexapro and trazedone, and with a recent increase in both, it really seems to be helping.

I would really like to be able to talk to my husband about all of the things that I am trying to sort thru at this time, but he seems a bit standoffish/uncomfortable about discussing these things. He does not understand the need for a med increase, and it's hard for me to explain other than that I'm just not progressing as much as my psychiatrist and therapist would like me to.

I am at a loss. I don't want to fall back into old habits and shut him out of it completely, but if he's uncomfortable with it, I shouldn't push the issue either - right? But on the other end of the spectrum, I really need him to understand what I'm going thru, and know that I truly believe things will get better...

Any advice?

I have a two-fold diagnosis. Major Depression and Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. I am on lexapro and trazedone, and with a recent increase in both, it really seems to be helping.

I would really like to be able to talk to my husband about all of the things that I am trying to sort thru at this time, but he seems a bit standoffish/uncomfortable about discussing these things. He does not understand the need for a med increase, and it's hard for me to explain other than that I'm just not progressing as much as my psychiatrist and therapist would like me to.

I am at a loss. I don't want to fall back into old habits and shut him out of it completely, but if he's uncomfortable with it, I shouldn't push the issue either - right? But on the other end of the spectrum, I really need him to understand what I'm going thru, and know that I truly believe things will get better...

Any advice?

Hi starheart,
My heart goes out to you, I spent so much time trying to help my ex partner to understand what I was going though. And it came to a point where he hated me....but fear not, this is just his personality and he wasn't even willing to listen to me.

It is so very hard for people on the outside to experience what you are going through, my family believed me to be selfish, lazy and just generally feeling sorry for myself. By which point I truly did feel I was alone and that I could talk to noone....I had never felt more outcast.

If you need to talk....then by all means sit and try and talk to him, explain it to him as simply as you can. If he is not interested then I'm afraid to say he sounds very narrow minded and not very understanding...

But the thing is, people tend to lose their patience when the "illness" hasn't cleared up after a few weeks or months! And then come the "why aren't you over this?" or the "why can't you pull yourself together?" 's.

It sucks...but depression is so often misunderstood and not enough people have the information about the illness yet to be able to stand by you. Especially people from the older generations, my mother and grandmother believe that depression can be overcome if you fight it and that it doesn't really exist.

Take heart, there are people out there that know and appreciate how you feel. I know its hard to feel knocked back by someone you love, but it takes time and patience to heal.

Let us know how you're doing.

Lissy xx

do wat you think is right....right for you NOT him. if he loves you then wen the words don't come out right or your lost of words...he stick by you.

Lissy1984- I completely understand what you mean when you talk about your mother and grandmother....My Mom is exactly the same way!

Which is why I'd really like to be able to talk to my husband. He's always listened before, girl problems and all. Something you said sparked a reality for me. Maybe he thinks that I'm not trying hard enough to "get over it". I could easily be seen as a woman obsessed. I'm always looking for info on the net and in the library. But that's my way of tackling this problem with logic.

I am now even MORE determined to speak with him about this. He's away for the weekend now, so we'll see.

HevanlySweet - Thank you for your words of encouragement!

I have been lucky with my wife being supportive. I have friends who ask what it is like, and how I wish I could just put my brain into their head for a day so they would fully understand the chaotic battle that has become a daily routine. When you have a good day start with " I love days like these because everything is so clear" or something along those lines. I wish I could give you a very simple clear concise answer but depression does not work that way.

take care