My fiance has arthritis of the spine and a condition called thorasic outlet syndrome. He has good days and bad, but on the whole he is in alot of pain and on most days by nightfall he is pretty drugged up. For the past 3 years he has suffrered from a severe lack of labido. We were averaging making love about every month, then every three months and now it has been 6 months since we were last physically intimate. He is putting it down to the medication and I do accept and agree with him but I am finding the ride incredibly hard. I am much younger than he is. He is 45 and I am 30 and I have a high sex drive. We have seen the doctor and he has perscribed us some viagra, but they are still all in the box and have not been touched.
I am trying so hard to be supportive and understanding and not put any demands on him but the niggling doubts that it is actually personal and he just doesnt fancy me anymore sometimes get very overwhelming. I cant initiate any form of intimacy because of the deeprooted fear that if we did make love it would be out of obligation, not want. I cant think of anything worse than making love to someone who is somewhere else in their mind or not enjoying it. It is really affecting my self esteem and my confidence and I feel really unloved which is totally irrational as I know he loves me more than anything. We still hug and hold hands but that is all. He kissed me yesterday (properly) for the first time in months and I literally melted. My legs turned to jelly and the rush through my body was unbelievable...I want and need him so much!!