My son called me last night for about 20 seconds from detox and he was so drugged I couldn't understand a word he was saying. I got off the phone with him and called the detox unit and asked what he was on. They told me he is on lithium and chlonodine. He also told, when I asked him what they had him doing there as far as educating, meetings etc. and he told me nothing. They have him laying in a hospital bed with a curtain pulled around him all drugged up on lithium. Why isn't he going to meetings????
I was hysterical last night laying in bed crying, thinking about not only him but all the other kids I'm learning about in my area who have the same problem. My husband and I decided at that point that we need to do something. We need to give it all we have to try and get him through this, atleast once. We owe it to him and to ourselves to get him into a good facility, for more then 5 days, which is now what they are telling me they are going to keep him for, and then take it from there. We have the resources, it's not costing us a dime. I can't walk away from this and ever feel we didn't do enough. I know he has to want and do this in the end, but as his parents, yes he's an adult, he's 18, but he is still our child. If we had done this 4 or 5 times, or even twice, I could listen to people tell us to walk away, but so far all he has had is a 5 day detox and then back out on the street.

I spoke to a doctor I work with this morning and she told me she cannot understand why they would have him on lithium, that it's prescribed for bi-polar and mood disorders, but he had only been there for a few hours when they put him on this, not even enough time to diagnose him with anything that would call for the use of lithium. I work at a mental health facility and everyone I have asked about this tells me to take him out of there. I have a good friend, in high places :D who has pulled some strings and I will be taking him out of where he is tomorrow morning and bringing him to another facility, where from the start he will be given chores, as they all run the house, and he will go to meetings and be educated and they also have a huge family component to help us all get through this god awful nightmare. This is what I am looking for and we will give it a chance. If he fails after that, we will know we did all we could, but I need to have this one chance to do all that we can.

Keep us in your prayers as you are all in mine :angel:

Lithium?! Admittedly, I am not a doctor, but your story just doesn't sound right. Typically, the addiction is treated first and the emotional problems are treated after the addiction is under control.

Lithium dosage is mysterious from the start and wild at the finish. I am surprised that any doctor would experiment with lithium on a new patient they barely know who still has other drugs in his system. How can the doctor make a fair assesment of the patient's reaction to the lithium dosage?

I am glad you got a second opinion. I hesitate to suggest that the rehab folks are quacks, but this further enforces my belief that many teen rehab centers are underqualified and have a dangerous element to them. Until now, I thought the biggest risk was meeting other teen addicts and getting drugs through the rehab experience, but this adds another dimension of concern.

Lithium is a real brain circuit-board zapper. Your son might have some "static" as the lithium leaves his system, so prepare for that. He might have a real emotional roller coaster ride. Let him know that it is the lithium and he is not losing his mind. Make sure your family physician is involved.

Holy smokes, what a nightmare. I have sympathy for you and empathy for your son. Keep notes. You could write a book on your experience.

Are you sure the nurse did not say "librium?" If it is librium as opposed to "lithium" that would sound correct in that they use librium to held detox people. Just curious.

You sound like great and caring parents, but you know as well as anyone since you are in the mental health field that your son has got to want to quit for himself. Even if he is exposed to meetings or education it will not amount to a hill of beans if he is not brought to a point where he wants to really quit for good. Also if he does not quit with this new facility that does not mean that he won't quit eventually.

You sound like you are doing the right thing and you obviously really love him. You may want to give this "one chance" but if he is not ready make sure that you have an open hand when he is ready.

If statistics mean anything then statistically most people do stop using drugs and move on to have a productive and mature life. Chances are your son will eventually be okay. The myth of people will die or go insane without some kind of treatment when dealing with drugs or alcohol is not entirely correct, the fact is that the far majority of people do end up quitting drugs, and it's a minority that continue to let it ruin their lives over a lifetime.

It makes it even easier probably when he has parents that really care about him.

Good luck,
W.

Thank you for those statistics, that makes me feel much better knowing that people out there do eventually stop using and make a life. I pray everyday that he can do this.

I spoke to his clinician already about his moving and she is having him call the other facility. As far as the lithium, she said she told me librium, so you are right, but I also know I wrote it down as she was saying it, so I think she said lithium herself by mistake. I don't think I would have gotten the word lithium out of nowhere because I didn't even know what it was until I looked into it this morning. Whatever they have him on at this point, he will be coming off of anyway and moving hopefully by tomorrow morning. The bottom line is they couldn't keep him there for more then a few days and he is laying around in a hospital bed and not attending any meetings and that wasn't acceptable to me, so we'll take it from here.

I'll keep you all posted.

I was going to ask you the same thing as Havehadit did about the librium. When my son detoxed at home through an outpatient detox, they had him on librium, clonodine and neurontin to help with the withdrawals. His withdrawals were so bad he couldn't have gone to a meeting, at least not for the first five days. He could barely get out of bed to get to the bathroom. On the sixth day we did drive him to Boston where he went to his first NA meeting. That was the first time he detoxed from prescription OXY's two years ago. The last time he detoxed he had to do it without the meds because I wouldn't pay for him to go throught the outpatient detox again. He did have some xanax from his Physchiatrist which helped. That time he layed in bed for five days and again on the sixth or the seventh day was able to move again. He has always done well detoxing at home. My ex husband or I stayed with him 24-7. Of course this was his last time detoxing at home because if he uses again he's out the door. So far he is in his 6th month of staying clean.

Many of his drug using friends went to the local detox only to use when they got out or use when they were there. I, too, have never been a fan of these places. So many of the people in them are court ordered. I don't need him meeting more new drug dealers.

An e-mail friend of mine recently found out her son too was addicted to pain killers. She spent $20,000 to send him to some place in California that was supposed to be the best in the country. He did well the first few months even helping newcomers to the place. She brought him home a few weeks ago and just found needles and other paraphanalia in his room. She was devastated.

It is so hard to know what to do, to not cross the line from support to enabling.

I hope what ever you decide works for him and you. I understand your not
wanting to give up, at least not yet.

My plan is to get him the help he needs and seems to want as long as I have the resources and it's not costing me anything.
Yesterday afternoon I got to actually speak to his assigned clinician and I felt much better about where he was at and so did my son. What we have decided and his clinician has arranged with the other place he was going to go to today, is that the center he's at now will call my insurance company today and see if they will cover him inpatient and how long. If it's long enough, he wants to stay there, if not then the other place who was going to scholarship him in said they will hold that offer for anytime, whether it be next week if this place doesn't keep him long enough, or if they keep him where he is and he still doesn't feel ready to come home. This just extends our options even longer, so I think it's a good idea. His clinician will call me today and let me know what the next step will be. I reminded my son he needs to push to stay where he is, if that is what he is choosing, as long as my insurance will allow him to. He said he heard good things about the inpatient and is looking forward to moving upstairs from detox hopefully today.
I found out his girlfriend isn't in any program right now. She admitted herself somewhere last Friday and only stayed 4 days and left. Our neighbor saw her hanging out at the mall last night. Good for her!!!! I know I keep saying this and it will never happen, but she goes back to court on the 14th of this month and once again I hope they send her to jail. She has been playing this rehab and court game for over a year now. I don't understand how she keeps getting away with it, because she does absolutely nothing they require her to do and each time she goes to court they give her another chance. I just don't get it :confused:

I wouldn't give him an option-make the arrangements-pack his bag-and send him off-hes ready..esp..if he could go straight from detox-perfect!!
Alot of people do the straight from detox-to rehab..once they are properly detoxed-they are ready to get the help-and are not contending w/ the acute w/ds..
This way he doesn't have a chance to use-he goes straight to rehab- many detox facilitys have a holding program..until you are placed they will keep you-"safe place"..
Don't worry about the girlfriend-sounds like shes on her own mission-
Interestingly-if he gets the help he needs-she'll be long gone-shes obviously not serious about getting clean-or she wouldn't have left-AMA...
Go for it Mama-
ggrl :angel:

He doesn't have an option about going inpatient, that isn't even the issue, it was just where he was going to be able to do it. I'm still not sure if my insurance will cover him inpatient where he is detoxing, but they are looking into that today. If they will cover him, he will move upstairs and stay there as long as my insurance will cover. If they won't cover him, then we have the other place lined up that will scholarship him if my insurance won't cover. He has been told that he already tried detox to outpatient and he had one chance to try that and he blew it, now he will do it our way and has to do inpatient or he cannot come home. Even after inpatient, he will go outpatient again, but he needs to go inpatient first.

This is very hard for me, because I'm usually a softy, but I'm learning. I just have to keep reminding myself to think before I answer anything he asks me or confronts me with so I don't give into anything or let him manipulate me. I need to get used to telling him I will get back to him and really decide what I should say or do before I say or do anything.

I will be praying everyday that by the time he comes home his girlfriend has hung herself. I don't mean that literally, I just mean I hope she does something that she will finally have to pay the consequences for while he's gone. He puts so much trust in her and I don't know what she has to do before he will finally move on, if he ever will.

I will be praying everyday that by the time he comes home his girlfriend has hung herself. I don't mean that literally, I just mean I hope she does something that she will finally have to pay the consequences for while he's gone. He puts so much trust in her and I don't know what she has to do before he will finally move on, if he ever will.

KFld: Don’t obsess about the girlfriend. As bad as she might be and as much as you dislike her, your son carries his problems within himself. She is not the problem. You know that. I am just resounding what you have been telling yourself so that you can hear it again.

It is almost with certainty that this girlfriend will not be the last. However, it is almost with the same certainty that he will choose future girlfriends with similar characteristics. Hopefully, they won’t be drug users, but they will probably be self-centered manipulators just like the present girl. They will probably manipulate your son – much to your amazement and disappointment. Some people just like that kind of relationship- bizarre.

My son goes through the same thing. He just goes from one bad girlfriend to the next. I guess to be honest, they are all drug users at this point but they also have the similar personality characteristics that thread them together.

Your son’s girlfriend’s situation might good for coffee klatch fodder, but put her out of your mind. Focus your energies on your family.