When my stepson (aged 9) is nice, he is really nice not just to me but to everyone. But when he gets mad - watch out. It's not just with me, it's with his brothers, mom, school etc. Take today for instance - this week he's with his mom - apparently at school today he assaulted a teacher who was trying to break up a fight between him and another boy (that he had started). Coz she was stopping him he started on her! Apparently they had to restrain him. The outbursts are less frequent than they used to be but still too often for comfort. On holiday last month he attached his brother because he said something he didn't like.

I've read the similiar thread to this one and have to say that whilst praise works in normal circumstances - you don't see the 'red mist' forming and have no warning until he's off on one. After todays events I'm sure he needs more than just praise.

Any suggestions?

Sounds like your stepson needs professional counseling. Your husband and the childs mother should both attend. If the child is angry at both houses and school it sounds like his angre is with all parties. Good luck- hope this child gets help soon.

You might want to check with your local Family Services Association if there is one in your area. They may be able to point you in the right direction, for anger management for kids. Also, would recommend consulting with the school social worker if there is one. Often, at least where I live, the schools are contracting for social work services from local mental health providers who specialize in problems of children and youth. But I also agree with the person above about the need for professional evaluation and consultation. Sometimes kids who have ADHD can become unpredictably, over-the-top angry because of the overstimulation of trying to sort out so many things coming at them, from within and without, so quickly. And an appointment with the pediatrician for medical eval. and recs. would be a good thing to do. The doctor may also be able to point you in the direction of resources for help. One of my nephews had a major anger problem when he was younger and his father took him to a child guidance clinic. Medication and counseling helped in that case, but each child is unique and I think a good assessment of the problem is really important. Good luck to you.

I can sympathize with you. My 2 boys (11 & 13) had a tendancy to get very angry and would destroy my property (I have holes in walls and doors off their hinges). This was a few years ago and I often wondered about anger management for them, but they are much calmer now. They still have their moments, but nothing to worry me like before.

Best wishes to you!