so ive been out of town for 6 days, and havent had any pills, although i have had a few beers. i thought being away for a while and getting cleaned up would do the trick-not so. the whole time i was gone i told myself i was through with pills, but within an hour of being home i was on the phone trying to get some! anyway, i didnt get any, and im sorta back to my senses agian, but im really scared that tomrrow ill be calling agian! im through 90% of the withdrawl symptoms, my brain just will not let go! some encouragemnt or ways to stop yourself would help me a lot! other times i have tried to quit no one knew what was going on, but this time pretty much everyone close to me knows that i was pretty trashed on something the last few weeks, and that im working to get cleaned up although we dont exactly "talk" about it. some im in a heated battle with the mental side of this thing and need all the help i can get!

jwf,

You have definitely picked the right group to ask that question to. I am sure you will get all the input you need. For me, I'm on day 18 from oxys.... the mental part has been the absolute hardest part for me....not to diminish just how very miserable and close to death I was physically for the first week or so... the mental part does seem to linger on for an eternity...All I can really suggest, because I too am fighting this part for the first time... is just keep yourself, especially your mind busy....and stay as physical as possible, which should help tire you, and help with the residual RLS that you may continue to experience off and on... Each of us differs slightly, but we all definitely feel your pain...

Just Stay Strong, you were unable to locate any pills when you got home for a reason....just hang onto that reason....BEING CLEAN...and keep going forward!!!!! If I can make it this far, anyone can!!! Beleive me!!!!

Keep coming here, you are sure to draw strength from this board!!!

:) Joan

I am so glad i read this post as i am going thru the same crap. As a matter of fact i had some "friends" even call me tonight and try to get me high on oxy....they called 3 x before my husband finally called them back and told him i will loose EVERYTHING if i keep using pills, and he hung up.....for the past 5 hours i have just sat and cried and cried using every ounce i have to fight off these massive cravings that just pop outta no-where. What the hell stops them???? I can't function, PERIOD when i am like this. I have a few more weeks in than you, but this is rediculous....i am shaking and all. I TOO am, VERY worried about what i am going to do TOMORROW when i wake up and KNOW that my hubby is at work busy, and they will be calling me again, knowing that he is at work and i used to love that oxy.....
Actually this is my nephew i am talking about, so this makes it even harder, that i am forced to alienate my nephew...but he is too dam toxic for me, and this is EXACTLY why and how i relapse every dam time. They make it too easy for me, don't have to have $$, they will drop it off to me on their way back thru town......THIS SUCKS!
I went as far tonight as to make a list of the pros and cons of using....i have 6 in the pro list...i am sure you can figure out what they are...and i came up with 26 reasons why i shouldn't use.....i used DOPESICKNESS as an answer more than once though LOL ;)
Well why don't you call me out tomorrow and i will do the same for you, that way we are staying busy and helping each other out. I am sorry to say, i was happy to see someone out there going thru the same exact crap i am. I am not looking forward to this weekend. We are always out on are boat at a lake and HE is always there because he docks his boat in the same spot as we do..... I have told him more than a million times in these past few weeks that i don't want to use anymore....he just laughs at me like Lucifer, himself. I have fallen a few times, a day here and a day there, but i am just so sick of the rat race, ya know what i mean??? Sick of being sick, MENTALLY SICK...i used to be so dam strong, i guess i still am, but i feel like i lost my soul this time. And i am slowly starting to get better, doing things i used to love to do, and trying my hand at things that are out of my "comfort zone".....so i guess for tonight i will just keep praying to God, and pray that this dam craving is gone tomorrow, although i am doubtful about THAT!
I am anxious to hear from you again, whatever the outcome and i will promise to post no matter what too. Whatever the reasons, i made it thru today and that is all that matters. We gotta believe in ourselves, believe that WE ARE gonna get thru this....stay determined, i am fighting so hard tonight....
luv,
LISA

well, i made it through today and im getting ready to go to sleep. but im definitly in the exact smae place as you. a family "friend" supplies me, and its someone i cant really get away from! im just so worried that tomorrow ill succeed at getting some percs, and then it all starts over agian! most of the day i can keep myself in my right mind, knowing it would be stupid to fall back into the trap, but the rest of the time, i feel like it would a great idea to take a handful of percs!! im just gonna try to make through another day tomorrow! ill post agian to see how your doing. good luck, and i hope we can get through this!

Good Morning j......it is 6:36 in the morning, and i am up :yawn:
Mornings are bad for me...it is still raining here in the northeast....that doesn't help. I gotta keep myself busy today. But with me being a stay-at-home mom it is really hard to keep my brain busy. I can be physically busy, but my sick little head is in a total different direction. This is the hardest i have ever tried to fight this off. I usually cave by now.....but there is just NEVER enough, and to start DAY ONE all over again......YUCK! I really want this garbage out of my life for good. I guess what makes me so unique is that i keep at it, no matter how many times i fall.
How are you today??? Do you have any plans for the weekend? My kids went and saw Fantastic Four last night, they said it was pretty good, and the girls saw Dark Water, they really liked that one. I am not too into movies, i can't seem to concentrate that long on something.
O.k.....just doing a quick checkin.....post when you can....i did say a prayer last night for both of us and again this morning that we have the strength to get thru this. I have heard of incidents in people's lives where they HAVE to alienate family members to make it in sobriety. It looks like this is something i am going to have to do.....I might take off on Monday to go to Florida....for 10 days with no kids, just me and my mom. They own a gorgeous house down there and it sure would do me some good to get some R&R and not have to deal with life for a few days....My daughter was supposed to be going but she got a new job, and doesn't want to fly right now with what is going on with the terroists.....i, however, am not afraid to fly. The only thing that scares the crap outta me is RELAPSING....
Have a good day and i will check back soon.....NO PHONE CALLS, you can do this, we gotta be positive.
luv,
LISA

Well it is only 7 freakin 30 in the morning and ring ring, ring-ring....HE IS CALLING ALREADY!! They know my husband is busy in the morning and isn't "around". They are still up??? I think they've thrown some coke into the mix, i don't know and i don't care...he just isn't taking no for an answer today. I'm gonna have to take my phone off for awhile and see what happens. My husband thinks by him telling his nephew last night that i would loose my family it would stop this....BUT I KNEW DIFFERENT! They hate him and want him out of my life for other various reasons. I was like, well if i use, then i don't have a place to live....Well don't worry about it Lisa, you can crash here for awhile/.////HELLO I HAVE 4 KIDS...my nephew is totally gone....he is no longer the kid that used to make me laugh and goof off together...and it is so sad to me at 22 to be addicted to OXYCONTIN....he has a small child and his girl is pregnant with #2 and i have been praying to God that she isn't using too, although i am sure that she is....
GONNA BE A LONG DAY!!!
O.k......he just called AGAIN and said he is gonna be on his way over, and i was like, NO the kids are sleeping and my hubby is gonna be home SOON, and he was like, well then i will hurry up for you...and i was like I DON"T WANT THEM,,,and he chuckles and hangs up....WHAT NOW??????
This has got to stop and i refuse to use today....need to get this garbage out of my life....wish me luck, i gotta go throw some clothes on...this should be a good one.
luv,
LISA

wow lisa, that dude does sound like lucifer himself! i would definitly get off to florida if i were you. i know being gone certainly helped me. it will be tough agian when you get back, but youll have 10 more days under your belt to help! im doing well so far today, not even really craving, but i know that will change later. from 5 till bedtime is when i get it bad. and sundays are the worst, so im definitly scared of tomorrow! anyway im keeping busy and trying to work through this, you do the same, and get away from those people that are trying to get you to use! its definitly not worth it now, i think you would feel horrible about it as soon as you swallowed that pill!

Hey j....i am still hanging in there....they never showed and i told my family that they are "at it" again....my husband tried to call from his cell phone at work and of course they wouldn't pick up. I am gonna take a ride with my youngest son and my hubby to pick up my father-in-law from the bus station, I am not too worried as long as i am not alone for now. It is when i am alone, that i have my darkest hours....
I am routing for you, ya know. This is the fight FOR our lives, no denying it. I believe these past few days have been "tests" and if i pass these few tests, it WILL get easier and good things will start to happen. I gotta cut up an apple for my little one, just wanted to update you. Thanks for keeping me company thru-out this crazy ordeal....i mean that!
luv,
LISA

hey lisa, hope you are doing well, as well as everyone else. im still percocet free, and im doing great. night time is real hard, and fortunatly i havent been presented whith the opportunity to use. the bad news is my dealer will be back tommorrw, and if they call and offer, i just cant see myself being able to refuse. i deleted the number from my phone, so i have no way to get in touch with them, but if they were to call me im pretty sure ill be back off the wagon! im going to continue to try to fight it though, using the methods ive used over the last week. like i said i have had a couple beers a day, which have sorta helped me sleep, but no pills, which is my main goal here. so anyway, everyone pray for me tomrrow, its gonna be tough!

Good Morning J.....don't PLAN a relapse, that is silly. Try to stay busy today and away from the phone. Do you really want to endure day 1, 2 &3 all over again??? Cuz, you know that we all run out, sometime or another. I am not doing all that hot, myself today. I feel really nervous, and jittery. I am already craving at 8 a.m....NOT A GOOD SIGN.
A lot of my family really got on my nephew yesterday, now he hates me, but at least i won't have him calling and calling me....dam those pills call me enough i don't need him coaxing me into taking them too! My hubby isn't understanding. Although this is the most supportive he has EVER been to me, so i don't want to blow it and use. Perc. and Oxy are so very hard to quit. I really do feel that is is a step above the hydro. I had like 2 good days this week, i am hoping that this coming week will bring 3 good days. Well do the best you can today. Post to me later on, no matter what......i have no clue what today will bring. I want to lay out in the sun for awhile, i am looking ghostly white lately and usually at this time of year i am a nice shade of bronze. Just gonna try to make it thru YET another day of sobriety. Hang in there.....i will check back tonight. Be strong and make the right decision.
I am routing for ya J.....
luv,
LISA

im not planning a relaspse, im just mean that sundays always seem to suck, and that was usually the one day i was sure to be messed up on something. but ive been up for a few hours and im doing fine so far. ive got a busy night planned with some people who are very anti-drug, so hopefully everything will be great! glad to hear you are doing okay too, i know from my own experiance that not everyday is going to be super-but if you can just fight through those days youll start to have more and more good ones. ill post more later, you do the same!

lisa, i hit a little bit of a roadblock this afternoon, im going to start a new thread to post a question about since me and you seem to be the only ones reading this one. please read it and see what you think!