Hi, I'm James. I'm 17 and I just moved to Florida about a week or so ago. I use crutches as a means of transporting myself, and I'm on the computer a lot.

I used to live in Illinois, where I didn't have more than 2 friends. One of which suffers from Alagille Syndrome, who's been my friend for almost 9 years now.

But now that I'm in a whole new place where no one knows anything about me, and it's a brand new start, I want to have a more active social life.

But I always have this fear that they won't give me half a chance because of the crutches. When I'm around new people, it doesn't seem like I have anything to say, and it's hard for me to keep a conversation going comfortably.

If anyone can offer any help or ideas, or have any comments on the matter, i'd be greatful.

I'm glad I found these boards and am hopng to make some nice friends here.

James :bouncing:

Hey James,

I know that I have had similar problems feeling comfortable around people...and judging by some of the posts here in the past, a lot of others also feel the same way.

Really it comes down to just feeling more confident in yourself and not caring about the people who have the bad reactions...but I know that is a LOT easier said than done, I have problems following my own advice. :)

Hi, I'm James. I'm 17 and I just moved to Florida about a week or so ago. I use crutches as a means of transporting myself, and I'm on the computer a lot.

I used to live in Illinois, where I didn't have more than 2 friends. One of which suffers from Alagille Syndrome, who's been my friend for almost 9 years now.

But now that I'm in a whole new place where no one knows anything about me, and it's a brand new start, I want to have a more active social life.

But I always have this fear that they won't give me half a chance because of the crutches. When I'm around new people, it doesn't seem like I have anything to say, and it's hard for me to keep a conversation going comfortably.

If anyone can offer any help or ideas, or have any comments on the matter, i'd be greatful.

I'm glad I found these boards and am hopng to make some nice friends here.

James :bouncing:

Hey James,
Social life sucks doesn't it.. For people like us getting friends and keeping them is a very hard thing to do, I know people say it's hard for everyone this is not true at least not as we see it and at 17 and being in a new place may be adding to your troubles.. Let me tell you I have these problems at 39, there's me, my wife, and our girls and that's it.. friends I don't have a one there's just the four of us and the family.. Friends I have thought I have had over the years have all left and don't talk or hang with me any more.. Point is that other than the people that truely care about you there's no one even your friends will turn on you in a heart beat if you let them.. Hell, a friend that I had for something of 26 years doesn't have a thing to do with me any more and I can't think a thing I did to make him not want a thing to do with me.. One thing that I have learned in life is to be yourself and who cares what anyone else thinks of you.. Be happy with you because social lives no matter what end and you are left with you and the people that really matter.. In life you may end up with one or two true friends, other than that no one will care in any true way.. Is life still wroth living hell yes!! just be you and be happy cause in the end you will be the only one that is true to you..

Gary :)

Well said Gary.

Hey James,

I totally know how you feel. I am 16 and my entire life I have only had 1 close friend. Sometimes I feel like a social outcast but for 9 summers I have gone to a camp for physically disabled kids and made some awsome staff and campers that I can really relate to and just be myself with. My suggestion is to be friendly and open with new people and try to find some group, camp, or organization where you can meet and relate to people who have CP like us. I hope it gets better and maybe we can talk sometime.

skigirl1689

I think one of the best things you can do is try to be as outgoing as possible, even if you're naturally introverted. If others can see that you're "normal" except for your crutches, they'll generally treat you differently. My friend is in a chair with CP and he doesn't really let it affect what he does, asside from normal mobility issues. He's more social than I'll ever be, and oftentimes when I've been driving him to places, or parties, we've had conversations about how he knows that going out and socializing for the sake of socializing isn't my thing, etc. etc.

Since you're 17 I'm going to assume that you're still in high school. If this is true, try maybe joining clubs and getting involved around your campus.

Since you're on the computer a lot, maybe you can join some online communities in your area, and start getting to know people that way. Find people with mutual interests (same taste in sports, movies, music, books, other hobbies) who will put your mutual interests ahead of your disabilities.

Hi James

Boy can I relate to what you are going through. When I was 14, we moved to the UK. The best way to put it is to say that, it was a case of culture shock. The education was so different there and I was a fish out of water in every respect. I went to a special ed school for visually impaired kids. The classes I had been in before we moved, were special ed but the CP was taken into consideration and physical activities were adapted. This didn't happen when I went to school in the UK. So, I had to sit on the side lines at times. This on top of me sounding different (my being from Canada) to the kids, Lead to a very stagnant social life for 2 years.

The most horrifying thing to happen (well, from where I was standing), was when it was decided I ahould go to a special ed school for kids with disabilities such as CP. This was before i went into the school for visually impaired kids. Anyway, my mom came home from work and said that I would be in classes like back hom only that it would be boarding there and only coming home for weekends. This sounded great and I looked forward to it. Well, Sunday evening came (the night you go back to school, not Monday morning), and my ride turned up as planed. So I open the front door to see an ambulance outside and tell the emts that we didn't call for them. They say, 'we are here to take you to school. Ok, now I had handled the culture shock pretty good up to that point. But this was too much. I looked at the guys and their ambulance like they and it, had come from Mars. I looked at my mother like she was going to be road kill. In defence of my mother, she thought the ride would be like back home, a school bus......WRONG As it was then in the Uk, that's how kids that went to that kind of specail ed school, got to school. I didn't last long in that school because my learning level was way above what they were used to. I also had the same run in with transportation when it came to going for PT. I was in the other school by then and by then, was used to how things were done with disabled kids in the UK.

But through all this, I did make friends and my college years were the best time of my youth. Knowing when opportunity is there and making the most of it, is the most important thing we can do for ourselves I stayed in the UK for 14 year then, returned to Canada. It was like culture shock all over again. But I did adapt and I have some good friends and enjoy the volunteer work I do.

It's not easy but you've made a good start by finding this community. :)