:) Hi everyone, I am brand new to this! I was shocked to find a forum where I could relate to almost everyone on it. So my question for all of you is, when do you know you need to get professional help? I have a hard time calling my self a "bulimic", not sure if it’s pure denial or if I really am one. But it all started my freshman year of college. I started throwing up my food pretty much at least a couple times a day. I would binge, then throw that up, then work out a ton. I became extremely depressed about it, and finally my boyfriend discovered my problem. The next few months we would argue about it because he hated seeing me hurt my self, but at the time I refused to stop. Eventually I calmed down and didn't do it as frequently, partially because it was killing my body, and the other part I loved him so much he was a reason to stop. But I have to admit I still go threw times where I will do it a lot in one week or a month, then won't again for a couple weeks or a month. My problem is I know I am better then I was two years ago, but I'm afraid that eventually I will fall back into the same patterns. There isn't a day that goes by that I don’t think about doing it every time I eat. The problem is I'm not sure where I would even turn for help. I know my parents would be in complete denial about it, because they are the type that doesn't want to believe anything could be wrong with their child. Since I have gotten so much better, do you think it’s something I shouldn't worry about or is it normal to be doing it every so often, and to still think about doing it. I was so relieved to discover this forum so I could discuss this with people who actually understand, because as much as my boyfriend loves me he will never actually understand what goes through a persons mind that sees their body completely different then the rest of the world. If you could give me some advice that would be great.
Thanks,
Leash

If you have to ask when the right time is to get help them you need help right now.

i'm with maggietuder. if you wonder if you need help now, then now is the right time to do it. you sound like you're doing much better, and that's all the more reason! getting some help will help you realize that it's not good to think about throwing up after you eat. it'll help those urges pass. you might not have to tell your parents either. (although i think it would be a good idea to tell them eventually, and don't worry, they will understand. even if they don't want to recognize that there's a problem, seeing their little girl in pain will make them realize that you need them to understand and help you.) anyway, are you still in college? many schools have university health care and therapy programs (and they're usually either free or very cheap if you're a student!) i'd suggest just setting up an appointment with a therapist at your school. you can discuss your history and how much better you've gotten and all the feelings you're having now. i know it's super scary and intimidating (at least, it was for me!), but just remember that you're talking to a professional who knows more about this than we possibly could. she'll help you figure out what's going on and help you decide what the best next steps are. Also, keep coming onto these boards! it is amazing to talk to people who feel the same way, and we're here to help you when you're feeling down, confused, etc. i've only been on here for around a month, but it was talking to these girls that made me realize that i really need to go get help. they've also given me huge hope for a future of recovery, so definitely keep talking to all of us.
Best of luck to you and keep us updated!!
joanna

I don't know if I am the only one that feels like this, but in a way I am afraid that if I went to a therapist to get help they would take one look at my body and think there is no way I have an eating disorder. I know forcing your self to throwu-up is not normal, and niether is the constant fear of food, but I always think I am not "that" bad. I mean I'm not seriously under weight and most people would probally never even know that I have suffered from and ED for so long. So I guess my main fear of trying to get help threw therapy is that they won't take me serious, am I the only one that has this fear??
Thanks for all the advice
Aleash

No, you're definitely not the only one! we all think that if we're not severely underweight or so sick from binging and purging that doctors won't really think we have an ED. (and we also wonder if we really do ourselves!) but the actual numbers on the scale and the way you look are not the important things (even though they seem so life or death)! ED's are totally mental and behavioral, and that's why we need therapy to overcome them.

take me for example (and i've only been to my first therapy meeting). i don't have a scale so i won't know my exact weight until i go to the doctor, but i know that i'm a little heavier (maybe 5 lbs?) than before i started having an ED (and i always had a steady normal weight before all this). i was anorexic for a while (never in the super emaciated way, but i was VERY skinny), and for the past 9 months, i've been binging terribly. i used to starve myself the next day, but more recently, i just binge on and off, which is why my weight has gone up.

when i went to my therapist, there was no question in her mind that i had an ED. she knew this thing was keeping me in a "prison," even though she said my case was "not that bad." (just like you're thinking yours is!) but don't get me wrong, "not that bad," was a good thing. she just meant that i have a greater chance of recovering more quickly (like a year-ish), instead of taking years and years to get better. so don't think yours is "not that bad," so you don't deserve and require help to get better! these things can easily hang around and get worse in times of stress, change, etc., so i think that's all the more reason to go and get help now. it might seem like your urges to throw up are something you can deal with for the rest of your life, but just imagine how happy you'd be if you never had those urges again!

good luck, and just keep telling yourself, "i don't want to live with this thing hanging over me anymore and i'm worth going to get someone to help me change it."

Aleash you dont have to be underweight to have an eating disorder and most doctors and theripist know that. i am not under weight and my doctor took it seriously he was very understanding and refered me to a theripist. of course i wasnt able to make it cause i have a brand new baby and no one to watch him but i will go soon.

The fact is ED mak us think what we are doing is normal for a long period of time even if we know that it is not. i read that if you bindge and purge atleast 2 times in a month you are considered bulimic.

Aleash you dont have to be underweight to have an eating disorder and most doctors and theripist know that. i am not under weight and my doctor took it seriously he was very understanding and refered me to a theripist. of course i wasnt able to make it cause i have a brand new baby and no one to watch him but i will go soon.

The fact is ED mak us think what we are doing is normal for a long period of time even if we know that it is not. i read that if you bindge and purge atleast 2 times in a month you are considered bulimic.

Me too. A few years ago I was really underweight and since then I have gained maybe fifteen pounds...it was hard work! Now I am throwing up things I eat and wanting to kill myself when I look in the mirror. But if I go to a therapist or tell a friend they will just shake their heads and tell me its no big deal. Please help..soon