So I told my husband of my ED. And I was going to tell my best friend yesterday. But my husband told me I shouldn't tell her. I told him i'm tired of hidding it said do what you need to do but I would recomend not telling anyone. So I didnt tell her because of course because my mind was racing. :rolleyes:

Ok so what should I do? Tell her and everyone right?

hey maggie
guess I wonder why he wants your ED to be a secret? I think I would tell people I trust b/c the more support you have the better off you'll be. Of course its an invitation for more people to also give input (wanted and unwanted). I would most certainly tell my best friend since she is probably one of the most supportive people in your life, best friends are different from spouses - sometimes you can't tell your spouse what you would tell your bestfriend and vice-versa - good luck

hunny, tell ur best friend. he rpolly wants u to keep wit secret to it wont turn into a whole gossip shibang. if shes trust worthy, tell her. the more support the better :)

Maggie and Sammy Glad to see you are both back. I dont know why he thinks I shouldn't tell. I think because he thinks this prob will just go away with a few visits with a Dr. Also I think he is embareassed of it all. He doesn't understand why I do what I do. I think because what I do reflects the family and vice versa. hhhmmm

Thanks for your replies.
:wave:

wouldn't it be great if he could just see that it isn't about the family that it really is a problem we have inside seperate from the outside world. It always amazes me how "outsiders" ( spouses, friends, kids etc) take our ED's so personal, like somehow because we are broken they are too. Guilt and shame are terrible things. I always feel even worse about myself when my kids say are freaking out about me. Hey if you find that Doc who can make it all go away in a few visits will you let me know? :)

i thiink that you should tell them.

also - maybe its a pride thing? He knows that he can't deal with you, the whole "men look after women" age-old stereotype. He feels like hes let you down, and then doesn't want others to know!

Maggie - thats odd, I'm completly the opposite. I'veonly told 5 people about my ED, 2 more when I was drunk. My mum dad, and brother know, and thats it. I just DON'T want people to know - it's none of their business!

I just think that maggietunder, you should just follow your heart. Tell them if you want to. Don't be forced into anything.

xx

hey hun, I think that it is am amazing accomplishment to have told your husband what was going on. I tried to live in the dark for so long, and everyone found out on their own, (anorexic and drastically lost a lot of weight). I only wish I had the courage that you do to reach out for help. I have told my best friend, and I dont know what I would do without him knowing, I mean my best friend is now gone, but he knew. I loved having that one friend that u knew would love u no matter what u say or do and will never judge u knowing the thing that makes you ffeel the worse. because it was like somehow when i was with him he could life my spirits so much more after he knew that he did before. I think its just more of a comfort to have ur best friend walking beside u no matter how rocky the road gets....so Its all up to you, but I would probably tell her, you dont have to tell her everything, but if u feel that she would help u through this, and he it be easier on you i would tell her, also if she would find out later on she is going to be angry that you never told her especially, after all, she is your best friend right? what would you want if the tables were turned, if u were her and she was the one struggling with this, u would want to be there for her right?.....so u should clue her in and let her be there for you. keep your head up hun