Last night my husband and I went to a picnic hosted by his company. It was also a surprise baby shower for a co-worker. It was held at another co-worker's home, (I'll call him R). Most of us congregated out back and some were inside most of the time. I was introduced to people I hadn't yet met.

Then I saw S. She was the first person I had met other than my husband's boss. I had met her the day after he was hired. I tried to say hi to her but she turned and looked the other way. There were a lot of people there so she probably just didn't see me.

Some time later, I walked toward her to say hi and she started walking in the other direction. So, after we had been there for about an hour or so I was in desperate need of a cigarette so I suggested to my husband that we go out front on the sidewalk and have a cigarette since there was no one else out there. There were two other people who were smoking in the back yard but I knew the owner of the house didn't smoke so I didn't want to join the other two.

When I asked my husband this, I didn't know that R was right behind me. He tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Oh no you don't". Then he said you can have your cigarette out here. I laughed and said, "You have a designated smoking area out here?", and he said "Not designated. You can smoke anywhere you want".

Well, his backyard is separated into different patio areas so we chose an area farthest back from the rest where no one was standing. We used an empty soda can for an ashtray. A few other people came over, some were smoking and some were not. We all stood there and chatted. R came over and we talked about how he used to smoke, how he finally was able to quit, and how he understands what it's like to move to California and feel like an outsider for smoking.

After finishing my cigarette, I walked over to the guest of honor who is 9 months pregnant and due in 2 weeks. S just happened to be standing near her so I said hi to her and told her that we had met already. She said something like, I don't remember and then began to complain about her allergies. Some people were still standing in the far back patio area smoking so I asked her if the smoke bothered her and she said yes. I apologized but she wouldn't even look at me the whole time. She then walked away.

I sat down next to our guest of honor and asked her if the smoke had bothered her too. She said she never smelled anything but food, then laughed and said the food was a little too good and she was eating too much. We sat there for a while talking about babies. I decided not to smoke in the back yard anymore.

Am I just imagining things, or did I terribly offend S? I think I did and I'm mortified by it. I know how bad smoking is and try to stay far away from non-smokers when I'm smoking. S has allergies and obviously the cigarette smoke was triggering it. I feel terrible.

So here's my question. Even if the owner of the house allows smoking, should I have gone out front to smoke anyway? Also, how can I apologize to S the next time I see her? I'm really uncomfortable approaching her at all now.
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A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory. ~ Arthur Golden~