I finally told my ob today about my ED. See since getting pregnant my husband has gone with me to every appointment but this morning he had a meeting and couldn't go so I went on my own. I have been a nervous wreck and finally told her how I restrict. She was so nice and gave me advice. She told me I had to up my calorie intake to 1800-2000 which to me is insane! I mean I know that being in my final trimester I need to be eating more but at the same time I am so scared. It's very difficult because in one way I want to do the best thing for my child but in another way I sit and count in my head how many calories I eat every single day. I wish I could let it go, just for one day.
Sorry, I just wanted to vent I guess.

You go ahead and vent anytime. I applaud you for the courage on telling your OB. Good luck to you.

Maggie :wave:

It must be so hard having and ED and being pregnant...my heart goes out to you....I know if must be difficult having to eat all those calories with an anorexic mind, but maybe if you think about it like this: A LOT of those calories you are eating and going to be consummed my the baby? I haven't been pregnant before so maybe thats dumb advice, but maybe if you realize that it isn't just YOU eating all those calories, but your baby too, than it will be easier.

i know it's crazy to think 1800-2000 a day...but thats what people have usually WITHOUT being pregnant. I'm not saying i do, or that it's easy, but with eating (and keeping) that much while you supporting another life in you, you'll be fine, and think, so will your baby! I know it is easier said than done to have that many calories, or to even deal with the changes of pregnancy in general! I for one have not had kids yet, but i fear the day that I do. I hope I am better by then and will be ok with the normal weight gain and increased calorie intake! My heart goes out to you and all the challenges you are overcoming! What a great step to tell you OB!

My ED began when I was pregnant last year. My daughter will be a year old the 23rd of this month. I know what it's like to be petrified of the weight gain that goes along with being pregnant. I gained nothing at all in my third trimester and I only gained 15 lbs throughout my whole pregnancy. I was only 110 lbs to begin with! For a healthy pregnancy you should gain anywhere from 25-35 lbs which seems like alot but you have to think of where it all comes from...ALOT of water, the baby, the placenta, extra blood volume, and actually very little of that is extra fat which IS needed on your body to help support the pregnancy. I was obsessed with eating only healthy low-fat and low-sodium foods when I was pregnant and also obsessed with exercise. I'm just very thankful my daughter was born healthy. She was small...only 6 pounds but she was very healthy. And 1800-2000 cals is what most people who are not pregnant eat in a day....I actually eat 2000-2500 now and am maintaining my weight on that! They say to eat anywhere from 300-500 extra cals when you're pregnant so 2300-2500 is best but aim for the 1800-2000 first because that already seems like so much to you. I know it's hard but you want your baby to be born healthy right? My next pregnancy will be alot different. I will allow myself to gain the 25-35 pounds and not be so obsessive about what I eat and exercise. I didn't even enjoy my pregnancy and now when I look back I feel really bad about it. It's supposed to be such a beautiful experience but for me it wasn't. I was just too worried about gaining weight. I know it's easier said than done but just try to enjoy these last months and focus on that beautiful baby you'll soon be holding in your arms. Good luck!

Thanks to all of you for responding.
My ob is not concerned about my weight gain cause she said I am gaining very steadily. I am not sure why she wants me to eat so many calories especially if I am gaining at the correct pace. I am going to try, right now reaching 1200 calories is hard.
I just keep saying that this is for my baby and I am doing it for her.
NatashaW & Cricket_22 - Thanks for the post, you have all be great to me. But I want you both to know that there is nothing in this world that compares to feeling that little baby kick and knowing that you created it. So try and get better so that one day you can both experience this miracle.
Piscean33 its good to know that other people here have had babies and can relate.

Sumi, 1200 Cals is not enough. You should be eating around 2000 Cals regularly, to be healthy..1200 is too low calorie, and way too little nutrition. Your basal metabolic rate is roughyl around that- do you really want to starve your baby and deprive him/her of the nutrients needed to grow and be healthy? Try to reach 2000 as much as you can because your baby, if nothing else, need it right now..

Sumi, how much have you gained during your pregnancy? And your OB isn't concerned that you're only eating 1200 cals?? Please, please try to eat more! Do this for your baby. Girlygirl is right 1200 is not near enough...for anyone let alone someone who is pregnant. I know you're scared and I know how hard it is but please just think about your baby hon. I know some OB's can be weird when it comes to eating and weight gain during pregnancy. Mine I know told me to avoid carbs because I didn't want a big baby. She didn't want me to gain alot of weight and actually wanted my baby to be smaller. She was never concerned about me not gaining any weight at all during my third trimester. I remember when I was only half way through my pregnancy I had gained around 10 pounds she told me that was good and I wanted to gain maybe a little more...but not alot! At times I almost blame her for my fear of gaining weight during my pregnancy. So just because your OB doesn't seem concerned doesn't mean that it's ok. So please try to eat a little more ok?

I am not sure why my ob was concerend. I have gained about 20lbs so far which I think is great. She wants me to gain about 10 lbs more.
Yesterday I ate 2000 calories and in all honesty I seriously flet like I had binged. I never eat that much.
But I am trying and I thank you all for your kind posts.
I am wondering if this weight will come off easily, how did you guys do it?

Great job eating 2000 cals yesterday!! Keep it up!! Yes, the weight will come off....faster than you think. My mom gained 50lbs with her first pregnancy and was down to her pre-pregnancy weight and into her old clothes by her 6 week check-up! Since I only gained 15lbs (which wasn't enough) it took me a week to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Remember ALOT of that weight is fluids and water. You'll probably lose 10-15 pounds just having the baby. And if you plan to breastfeed you'll lose even faster. BUT just remember if you breastfeed you HAVE to eat about 500 cals more than you're used to...so more like 2500, at least. I tried to breastfeed and my milk went away after 2 weeks because I didn't eat enough. So keep that in mind if you plan on breastfeeding. And again good job with the eating....just keep doing it! :)

You will lose some, if not most of the weight completely naturally. The 20 lbs isn't necessarily all fat you have to realize that..a lot of it is fluid that is retained, the baby and it's weight, and then there is some extra weight needed for protection of the baby in the womb. So like Piscean said, a good chunk of weight will come off after the baby is OUT. Then, if you breastfeed, that burns about 500 Cals per day- and you NEED to keep your diet healthy (ie/ enough cals) and balanced as long as you do this, because technically it's still similar to the womb, where the baby takes your nutrients. Then, ontop of the weight lost from all of that, there will be baby carrying and lifting, and walking and staying up all the time from crying, and so much more. You don't need to- and should NOT ever diet until at least 3 months after your labour, preferably until you start breastfeeding. No, the weight will not all magically disappear overnight, but it will happen, so be patient. You're doing really great so far, just keep it up. 2000 is not even close to a binge- think of your baby every time you feel guilty about your meals.

Hey Sumi...I haven't posted here in awhile (since finding out I was pg), because I tend to find it triggering...but, I like to check in every so often, and just want to tell you that I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. I'm 17 wks on monday, and I've really been watching what I put in my mouth. I tend to restrict as well (not as much as you though)...especially when I feel I've overdone it the day before.
This is my 3rd pg...my second ended in a m/c at 6 weeks, which really put me in a downwards spiral as far as ED goes. I was in recovery for a few years before it happened-I just couldn't deal.
It also sucks because I feel so full all the time (I blame the lovely 2nd trimester bloating and constipation)...

The girls are 100% correct...those 20 pounds are not fat at all. A few pounds are in breast tissue, 7-8 pounds end up being baby, 2-3 pounds are amniotic fluid, 2-3 pounds are placenta, and the rest is fluid weight (blood volume doubles in pregnancy). The last trimester is when the baby lays down fat over their muscles...you really should TRY to eat a little more so you can heave a healthy baby. If you find the bulk difficult, sneak those cals in with cheese, peanut butter, and foods that DON'T say "low-fat" or "non-fat". Thats what I had to do my first pg...my last u/s showed(predicted) that my son was going to be about 5 pounds when he was born...he was a healthy 7 pounds 4 ounces because I increased my cals a few.

From what I remember, you are pretty close to the end. Hang in there a little while longer...you are doing an AWESOME job!!!

Jenn

I have had an eating disorder since I was 13 - I am now 43. I had 3 children. The largest of them weighed 6 pounds the smallest barely 4 lbs all emergency c-section. I was not able to carry a single one of them full term. I also lost one baby. Was it b/c of my ED I don't know. I actually lost 17 lbs with the last one. I wish that I would have had the encouragement of these boards during those times, everyday was a struggle knowing I was starving myslef and that my baby was grasping for food. My doctrr who was very blunt said something to me like the baby will take everything you put in - you are the one who could end up dead and take your child with you. OUCH so you keep trying to do your very best. If you have a hard time one day don't give up keep trying. I wish you well... everyone is different as you can see by the posts - I think there was someone a few posts back who recommend little bites of things that were rich in calories like peanut butter or a few nuts. Great ideas...take care good luck

hey hun, I've never been pregnant, and dont know what I would do if I was. I know it would be extremely hard. But I just wanted to let you know that its okay for it to be hard, its not supposed to be easy....life is never easy, but what I see is that u have determination....you have never given up. You don't like it, and you dont want to do it, but u do, u do it for that beautiful amazing, PERFECT life inside of you. I think we all strive so hard to perfect in our own ways, when you already are the closest you can ever come....THE BABY GROWING INSIDE OF YOU NOW IS PERFECT. Untouched by everything. Knows nothing of all the anger, and rage and maddness....knows nothing of the worldly thought of thin is perfection, and u have to be thin to be pretty....u know....you made something perfect...through all of ur struggles, you've still be able to obtain perfection, because u made the most perfect baby you know....keep her perfect....keep fighting the horrible messages ur mind can tell u....I know u can do it!
Love always, Chrissy

Thank you all for your kind words. You are all so great and I am very thankful to have you.
Unfortunately I haven't been doing too great as disgusting as that may sound. I am such a looser sometimes.
The past week I tried eating between 1800-2000 calories per day but on Friday when I weiged myself I was up 2lbs and freaked out so I went back to my standard 1200 calories. I don't know how to break from that cycle. The baby is growing and kicking and I just pray that she is ok. My mind is playing some wicked games with me. I wish I was free from this and I wish I could be strong. I have been under a great amount of stress lately and restricting was my way out. I just bought a new house and moving when you are 8 months pregnant is not that easy. Plus my boss is acting up again and is saying very hurtful things to me. All this and my in-laws staying with us is not a good combination!
I am not trying to justify my way of thought, I just don't want you all to think that I am a bad person and that I don't love my little angel. I would die for her, but I also don't force myself to eat. I mean I eat every couple of hours I just don't eat a whole lot and honestly I'm not hungry. When I tried eating all those calories I felt very full and uncomfortable all the time.
Ok, I'm rambling time to go.................................

sumi - YOU STAY STRONG - whatever you can manage is good enough. You only have one more month to go, that month will be gone before you know it. Im sorry you have the inlaws staying with you , being pregnant is hard without the extra added burden of "extra" people around and your boss being an ***..