Well I'm scheduled for my colonoscopy/sigmoidoscopy next month, but now I'm experiencing a dull ache in my lower abdomen. Usually when I wake up and it persists on and off throughout the day. Now I'm positive I definitely have colo-rectal cancer. I don't know what else would cause such symptoms nor have I ever had this before. However, I've been taking metamucil 3 times a day and walking 1 1/2 miles a day and my stools have gone back to normal so to speak. I've been worrying, but not as much. I try to stay calm and remember my oncologist said he didn't think I had colon cancer although he could be wrong. Sometimes I don't care if I have it or not because I'm been very unhappy with my life for several years now, other times I overwhelm myself with worry and think about what could have been. I guess either way I should accept my fate since it's God's will. If I do have cancer and it's too advanced then I supposed that's just the way it was meant to be. God works in mysterious ways. We all must die someday and even if I don't have cancer that doesn't mean something else won't kill me tomorrow.

Kewpie

Kewpie... you are right when u say that God will take us when the time is right... no matter what we do.. BUT if u do have bowel cancer its not the end of the world either.
Dont give up hope if you have cancer.. There is sooo many things they can do these days.. and u have to be strong and positive...

Many ((((hugs)))) to you

Maz

Thank you, Mazrose.

I've been trying to tell myself that. Who knows I may not even have cancer! Several people had colonoscopies after fearing they had cancer and were told they didn't! Sometimes my hypochondria gets the best of me!

For now I'm going to find things that I enjoy to get my mind off it.

Kewpie

Please get a colonoscopic exam. They are over in 10 minutes and the people that do them know how uncomfortable you will feel about having it done and they try to get it over as quickly as possible. I had one and they stopped when they got around a corner and it hurt too much - then they sent me for a lower GI and I swear to you - that was not anywhere nearly as bad as I expected. Nothing hurt during that test. It will give you some peace of mind. After those tests, they showed me the results and they really can see what's going on - or not going on. My tests came back normal in the colon areas they could see, but I still had that pain. I had pain 3" out to the right of my belly button and it radiated down towards my appendix. At about the 7th year of having that daily pain, it suddenly went straight up under my right lower rib while I was eating dinner and became severe and I went to the hospital thinking I was not coming back home. Within 10 minutes of seeing the doctor, they told me my gallbladder was causing the pain and it had to be removed. An ultrasound confirmed it. I asked three doctors during the original visits before gallbladder surgery if that pain down further that I had for those years could be from my gallbladder and the first two said no - the second one said yes and that he had seen patients with it before with it radiating down the bile duct in into the colon area.
I had the surgery one month ago - all of the symptoms and the pain (including the orginal pain lower down) is gone and has never returned - and before surgery, I never had one day without it hurting.
The most important thing you can do is go get checked to find out what it is. Cancer always grows if it's not treated and it can become untreatable very quickly if it's an aggressive form.
I don't know you other than what you have written here, but I do know your life is worth fighting for. Don't ever give it up willingly. This is your chance - your opportunity and only yours for you to exist. Whatever your faith is - you must know what a miracle it is that you are alive and here on earth to experience a lifetime. I lost my mom - my absolute best friend 4 years ago suddenly in the night - with no chance to say goodbye to her and it was the hardest year I ever lived through and the thought did occur to me that if I knew for sure that I could see her again by dying, I probably would have jumped of a bridge that year. Time heals and I just have to accept she is gone and be glad that I was one of her children. If I had never been here, I would have missed so many years of sharing her life. Who knows what is still waiting for you - your next lottery ticket could change your life, the next person you meet could make you feel so loved - don't give up your chance for these things. Very few of us have it made - most are all just doing the best we know how to do and hoping that by some chance we will find love, and also leave the world a little better off because we were here. If you haven't found love and happiness, please keep looking - PLEASE! (and go get checked to find out what's causing the pain you have - not next year - but do it this next week or at least get it started.)

Allan, thank you for the reply and
I'm very sorry for your loss. As you've said I'm going through with the exam even though I'm extremely reluctant.

Kewpie