Although I have a right to believe what I believe, and to post what I wish to post-- for anyone offended by my message, I apologize and have removed it from your sight and this site. Although, I do believe, and have stated in my other message on this thread that I believe EVERYONE has a right to his/her opininon....

And for those of us suffering from this horrific illness, please view my other thread with words of wisdom and encouragement. Perhaps MOST may find this less offensive, and also bring a word of encouragement and something to THINK ABOUT EACH DAY....
--CDad :angel:

who is John Roberts???

Again, my apologies...

We are fortunate here in UK for our parliamentary system, even with it's flaws.

i personally dont like anyone, male or female, dictating to me what i can or cannot do.

cancerdad...... i can feel u simmering from over here. take care now.

ktee

Although I'm a Canadian, his nomination ha sme cautious! What happens south of the Border can happen up here. The thought of losing Roe v Wade is such a backward step that I guess I have to dig out my old boots - you know the ones = These Boots are Meant for Walking boots. I too believe that my territory is my body, and I balk at being told what I can or cannot do with or for it.

ktee is right though Cancer Dad stay cool - if you can- not good for you to get that riled up.

CancerDad, I am with you. I would say more, but it is late at night, and I know if I get too worked up I won't sleep. Need some sleep tonight, we are driving to SW Wisconsin tomorrow for a class reunion of a class I taught many years ago. It will be nice to see the students again.

In the spirit of fellowship, this message has been removed by author. Peace!

hi everyone

thought i would post before the moderator. if we really do have serious political, moral or otherwise issues, then i guess it is best fought elsewhere away from the boards. i think we might be in danger of frightening away people who need the boards to fight their cancer battle. if our fellow posters see us supporting different issues apart from cancer then that might cloud their belief in our advice.

regards as always to everyone
ktee

i will just say this: birth control and condoms work great... dont judge unless you have been in the situation...

Ktee:
I have always said, "here is my advice, take it or leave it..." it's a free country in the UK as well. I believe I have been more than supportive to patients or potential patients on this board. If we are to get picky, I might comment that there is a support board for cancer care givers, which battle other issues than we survivors on the board. I think ANYONE reading our posts can tell how caring and concerned for each other we ALL are. My post was not to start a political arguement, rather to spark some other interesting conversation to allow individuals an opportunity, who are anxiously awaiting answers, other topics with which to concentrate. With all do respect Ktee, what's getting you this evening?

My apologies if a chord was struck.

Warmest Regards,
CancerDad

I am saddened that I tuned in too late and because it was deleted will never know just where on an increasingly polarized subject you stand.
:angel:

Ruth:
I think you can catch the gist from other replies and my other posts that Everyone has a right to what happens to their bodies... whether they will do chemo or not, radiation, or not, etc. We all have choices.

God Bless you, and I hope your BIL is holding his own.

I know you have been my angel. If I may repay, please let me know... I have VERY BROAD Shoulders!

Hugs,
CDad

Ktee:
I have always said, "here is my advice, take it or leave it..." it's a free country in the UK as well. I believe I have been more than supportive to patients or potential patients on this board. If we are to get picky, I might comment that there is a support board for cancer care givers, which battle other issues than we survivors on the board. I think ANYONE reading our posts can tell how caring and concerned for each other we ALL are. My post was not to start a political arguement, rather to spark some other interesting conversation to allow individuals an opportunity, who are anxiously awaiting answers, other topics with which to concentrate. With all do respect Ktee, what's getting you this evening?

My apologies if a chord was struck.

Warmest Regards,
CancerDad

Cancerdad........ I have already voiced my opinion to your thread and have therefore exercised my right to freedom of speech.

From MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE....... and contrary to what people reading my posts may believe, I am a shy person, not inwardly confident. I do not like confrontation, intimidation or see people arguing.

I do believe that most people will see we care but ...... there are a lot of people who dont post, just view. They probably feel like they want to post and ask questions but cannot quite pluck up the courage. If they see that some of the frequent posters on this board are able to strongly verbalise their opinions on matters other than cancer, then i believe it may turn them away. It may also lead all posters to chose their words more carefully than they feel they had previously.

I thought your sideways swipe at me moving to the caregivers boards was below the belt james. I have already been there. My husband reads these posts and I have often posted on his behalf and I dont feel like i have to justify my reasons to you or anyone for posting or reading the posts. We are all potential cancer sufferers.

regards
ktee

My father & his brother died of colon cancer. My brother-in-law has rectal cancer. My grandfather had stomach cancer & HIS father had esophagal cancer. I do everything that I can to beat the odds that I will develop this disease.
One of those things is come here. And I have hesitated before sharing other parts of my life because I was afraid that no one really cares.

After 3 yrs I find that I personally welcome anything about ALL of you that "rounds you out" in my mind. You are already people to me. Not a diagnosis.
I still hesitate to stray too far off topic - not only because I'm afraid others won't want to hear but also because I'm an ace HB rule follower or I wouldn't still be here!
That's what the Relationship Board is for for a few us.

To me we are not just our disease - but there's a fine line on how far we can take it here I suppose. In real life I enjoy a healthy debate. I'm not sure that would fly here.
Personally its a shame because I'm interested in ALL of the ALL of you.

Hugs to all,
:angel:

Cancerdad........ I have already voiced my opinion to your thread and have therefore exercised my right to freedom of speech.

From MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE....... and contrary to what people reading my posts may believe, I am a shy person, not inwardly confident. I do not like confrontation, intimidation or see people arguing.

I do believe that most people will see we care but ...... there are a lot of people who dont post, just view. They probably feel like they want to post and ask questions but cannot quite pluck up the courage. If they see that some of the frequent posters on this board are able to strongly verbalise their opinions on matters other than cancer, then i believe it may turn them away. It may also lead all posters to chose their words more carefully than they feel they had previously.

I thought your sideways swipe at me moving to the caregivers boards was below the belt james. I have already been there. My husband reads these posts and I have often posted on his behalf and I dont feel like i have to justify my reasons to you or anyone for posting or reading the posts. We are all potential cancer sufferers.

regards
ktee

Ktee:
...And I believed those hiding in the woodwork who would otherwise not come forward with a question about cancer would do so with some other topic discussed rather than morbidity and mortality rates and statistics, pains of chemo-- and cancer itself, etc. He/she might be more comfortable in voicing his/her opinion on another topic and ease into their real reason for being on the Colorectal Cancer Board. Perhaps I was wrong. I believed that if we could give an opportunity and encourage him/her to voice his/her opinion on another topic like the one I wrote about when I was having a bad day, he/she might find his/her voice and be able to speak about their true reason for being here! You are correct, though, politics can spark insolent banter; this was and is certainly NOT my intention.

I think we have a case of two VERY Well-Intentioned people who have a difference of opinion. I will choose to respectfully disagree.

Ktee, you KNOW MY FEELINGS FOR YOU AND THIS BOARD. If I "hit below the belt" in ANY WAY, I sincerely apologize. I merely was establishing the fact that you found the courage to come over from the Care Giver Board. You also "talk a good game" of encouraging others to get the help they so desperately need, despite your shyness. In doing so, I believe that you validate the fact that yes, there are things that survivors go through that are different from Caregivers.

I too am a very shy person, always have been... but these boards have given me a safe haven to open up and encourage others to NOT have to suffer the way I have. I value your opinion IMMENSELY. But know that when I do post, I expect different opinions from some than others. This adds diversity.

You are a survivor :angel: :) ... I don't recall why you had your hysterectomy... NO MATTER, it's a LOSS nonetheless. But, if not due to cancer, there is that ONE component that is missing... A certain understanding that you as a caretaker won't get no matter how hard you try. Just as my wife and I discuss, there are things that she will NEVER understand and things that I will NEVER understan, no matter how hard I try. Some things in life are like that... With experience comes a world of new understanding. This is what I meant about the Caregiver board... you found the courage to come over here, and yes there will be things that no matter how hard you try, you won't get, nor would I on the Care Giver Board. I think we can all understand better, learn more, but TRULY UNDERSTAND--- no. GOD FORBID she will EVER reach the day when she is in my shoes. You may choose to disagree. You may surprise me and agree. I have been typing for MANY months now hoping to find another who has/is going thru exactly what I have been. In the mean time, I have met some GREAT,Warm, Loving People (You included) and could not imagine this board without you all here.

If we can help you, if you are willing to accept our help, then know that we always here... a big happy family... albeit extended, and from time to time, a little dysfunctional!!!! :jester:

I'm going to stop preaching to the choir here, but my wife, as a caregiver, is here telling me now that she has frequented the Caregiver Board, and has found great solace. Quite frankly, she's afraid of the "Colorectal Board" as discussions often get too intense!

With Warmest Regards,
CancerDad

PS... Ktee and all, I slipped up once or twice in the beginning of my membership and used my real name. Would you all do me a favor and refer to me as my pseudonym CDad/CD/CancerDad, etc... this is afterall, supposed to be a "safe haven!!!" Thank you in Advance!!!

No problem CD, I'm one of those lifers you referred to - consider yourself "pseudotized" in my book! Heck, I've been Ruth so long I don't remember my own name half the time anymore - I communicate more with you folks than I do my own husband - and love you all just about as much.
:angel:

CD I agree with you that when u say, that only people with Cancer really understand whats happening... Caregivers and loved ones are a support for sure, but they dont know the TRUE feeling of whats happening to us. My new partner included. He has come to all my appointments and the "Lving with Cancer" group and hes there to hold my hand, but will (hopefully) never really know what its like.
Im sorry to read the tension between you and KTee and like you, I do think there is other issues rather than the cancer to talk about.. Its about the way we FEEL about topics/relationships. etc...
Anyway just my 2c worth.
I am just soooooo damn pleased I found this board. Its so supportive and informative for me.. I dont think I could handle this as well without all of you !!!

Take care of you all...
Maz

Dear cancerdad

you must have spent all day pounding the keyboard to write that one out..... thank you. btw, i do happen to agree that its a good idea to try and entice non-posting viewers into the forum and yes, i suppose the subject matter does need some careful consideration.

have to say that im not a great fan of caregiver board for the simple reason that i dont count myself as much of a carer these days as husband is doing so well. it was a lot different when the 2 of them were having their treatments. even so, i found it difficult to find anyone to relate to as there were so many caregivers caring for so many different ailments so i concentrated on this forum.

now i find myself still glued here because
a) i have made good friends and connections (yes, you included :p ),
b) i have a streak in me that wants to help people,
c) i feel ike i need to stay in touch with cancer (that sounds creepy doesnt it, but i feel like im on guard for my husband),
d) we are cancer survivors ( by this I refer to the ColonCancerAlliance definition which is: What is a survivor? An individual is considered a cancer survivor from the time of diagnosis, through the balance of his or her life. Family members, friends, and caregivers are also impacted by the survivorship experience and are therefore included in this definition )
e) a deep sense of forboding that i will have bowel cancer at some stage. i think i touched on this once before when we talked about colonoscopies and the negative response i got from my doctor. my looks, mannerisms, body shape (down to crooked toes) and health mirror my mother's and the thought just keeps ticking away inside my head

I read your comments about truly understanding actually having cancer being the difficult thing to share and i do understand this entirely. i nagged the board administrators to set up the hysterectomy forum which they did and there are now quite a few posters there from worried husbands, to women who have and women who may have hyst'omy. i thought it would be a forum where i could find someone to connect to with the same medical issues as me, but it hasnt quite turned out that way for me. early days yet i guess but i find myself more drawn to helping rather than asking for help. that might be the british in me perhaps :rolleyes: or just the way im programmed.

anyhow cancerdad ....... im am now in danger of surpassing your marathon of a post so shall stop. would just like to add that i dont think we did dissagree, we wont fall out and you can still play in my gang at playtime. :) :D

regards to all as always
ktee

:eek: Yow! :eek:

I dunno what touchy subject got brought up but I am not sorry I missed it.

On any other forum I may have weighed in(had I seen it). On other forums I do since unlike others who say they are shy, I usually ain't, and can be an opinionated son of a beach on occasion. On THIS forum though I will not (or at least will try not to) get into politically charged discussions. I do enough of that elsewhere.

oh, JD, we sure have missed your wit!!

And you never did tell me (or I missed it!) what your problem with your stoma is/was... something that I as a new potential same surgery victim (August 12) should know about before taking off my diaper????

~A guy who cares. That's going to be my new motto! Or at least for a select group! :D

OK.. SO NOW Im scared!!!!
I have my dilation and sigmoidoscopy today.. I know theres nothing to worry bout so please dont tell me that... IM STILL scared tho! hmmm Got Chemo first, then into IN patients for an enema then to surgery. Nothing to eat from 7.30am this morning.
I think im more scared about the dilation. They are gonna cut me and burn me!! to widen my back passage.. (and then he told me he would have to do this procedure a few more times before I get my reversal done!) Great. Then the sigmoidoscopy to see if maybe he cancer has returned to the original re sect site. hmmmmm I hope I found out today the results of that.
Then next week a CT scan of my abdomen and chest (liver included).
Ohhh Ive never said this yet but am now.. THIS AINT fair and why me???
Feeeling abit down for sure. :(
Keep me in your prayers today ok?
Thanks all
Maz

you got it MAZ!

hang in there!

Hi, Maz :wave: Thought I would pop over here and give you some extra (((HUGS))) and let you know that it is okay to be scared and throw your own pity party...you're entitled to. Just make sure you invite all your friends over so that we can hold your hand for a while and let you know that we care and somehow just want to be with you to help distract you and ease your mind a little bit.

Of course you are in Goody's prayers as usual. So they're looking to stretch you out a little bit before reconnecting.....better to do that now than after you're reconnected, right??? We don't want any clogs in the pipeline and have to go through even worse.....so I guess it's time to bite the bullet again as they say. :D

I know that this is all not fun but soon this will all be behind you and you'll look back on it as just another day in your life. I know when I went through 2 years of my daughter's chronic illness it was not fun.....but now when I look back on it, it's only a blur in time and one that made me stronger. I am sure that this will be the case with you as well. ;)

Well....you rest up & know that there are many here praying for you.

((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody :angel:

I personally happen to love a man in diapers - my sense of humor just happens to flow that way - but if you insist on being sans diapers after 8/12, well I will just have to convince you to put them on once in a while just for old times sake - just for Ruthie.
Always,
:angel:
(flying too close to the ground)

(The prayer chain goes into overdrive from here on out!!)

Thanks Goody.. :)
I thankyou for holding my hand..
Will report back later
cheers
Maz

I personally happen to love a man in diapers - my sense of humor just happens to flow that way - but if you insist on being sans diapers after 8/12, well I will just have to convince you to put them on once in a while just for old times sake - just for Ruthie.
Always,
:angel:
(flying too close to the ground)

(The prayer chain goes into overdrive from here on out!!)

I like the diapered man too, cybertwin ;) Hey.....so long as you got a prayer chain going can you add a few to it...check out the Friend's thread and you will understand. :angel:

Maz....holding your hand is a privelege. WIll check in here again to see how you are doing.

CancerDad ~ glad I crashed your thread to let you know that you are always in Goody's thoughts & prayers. I will be praying for you on the 12th as well.

(((HUGS))) to all ~ Goody :wave:

Maz, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I have some idea of how you feel. Next week, on the 10th, I have a cat scan, and yes, like you I am frightened.

HEY ALL!!! Thesigmoidoscopy results came back CLEAR !!!!!!! No re occurence of cancer at the re-section site !! :) :) :)
Tho my butt is hurting quite a bit, he said yes it would be as he had to do a fair bit of poking around there... (and Im bleeding abit too, but hes not worried bout that either)
Actually it already feels abit better this morning...
THANKYOU ALL FOR YOUR PRAYERS!!
Now for the CT scans next Tuesday..
Edinaman ... thankyou and goodluck for your CT scans too.. Let us know how it went.
Cheers to all
Maz x

What wonderful news, Maz :bouncing: I know you have a pain in the butt but it must feel great to know that everything looks clear. :D I am so happy for you....we need to celebrate!!!

Seems like you & Edinaman are having your CAT scans only days apart!! I will be praying for both of you that we have more good news to share.

Lots of (((HUGS))) ~ Goody :wave:

It is great to read that there is GOOD NEWS out there! Congratulations Mazrose! I will continue to pray that the CT shows everything is A-OK.

oh, JD, we sure have missed your wit!!

And you never did tell me (or I missed it!) what your problem with your stoma is/was... something that I as a new potential same surgery victim (August 12) should know about before taking off my diaper????

~A guy who cares. That's going to be my new motto! Or at least for a select group! :D


I had a small polyp on the stoma that was removed then quickly returned and removed a second time. This had me ,,,,concerned,,,,, but it has failed to return yet again so I guess its alright.

If I haven't said so yet CD then i'll say it now. If there are any questions about colostomy ask away.

BTW have you seen me suggest permanent hair removal for the site of the stoma? It would have made things easier on this Austin Powers type hairy guy. :D (well not quite that hairy) Ask your stoma nurse or local ostomy association about it. If you do try it, then it should be well in advance of surgery to have the skin heal completely.

JD: THANK YOU!!! I really did mean it about your being missed 'round these parts. We try to hold down the fort without you, but NEED you to pop in every once and a while!

Regards,
CD

PS I'm assuming pathology came back fine on the polyp... it was just a pesky thing?

JD: THANK YOU!!! I really did mean it about your being missed 'round these parts. We try to hold down the fort without you, but NEED you to pop in every once and a while!

Regards,
CD

PS I'm assuming pathology came back fine on the polyp... it was just a pesky thing?
First time it was shown to be a contact polyp. By which they mean that it is caused by irritation in touching the pouch. Not a problem. The second time they used silver nitrate to remove it, that leaves nothing that path can look at but as it has not returned again I am not worried.

I was worried when it had showed up after being removed the first time. (hair on the back of the neck goes up, sinking feeling in the stomach and knees that suddenly don't have as much ability to hold my weight when I saw it coming back that time) It has to do more with the fact that anyone who has experienced a trauma being sensitive to any possibility of having to experience that trauma again than it does with this being a real sign of a return of the cancer. I can look at it that way now, in hindsight, but there is that niggling 'what if' in one's mind while it is still a relative unknown.


I too still feel a need to stay in contact with cancer. I know that is an odd way to put it. I can't explain it well. I need to stay in the cancer community like this. Maybe it is because I missed a colonoscopy that would have caught my cancer before I needed a full rectal resection and as long as I stay in touch with others I will not forget to stay on top of my own check ups again.(that would be the selfish explanation) I also want to do whatever I can to encourage others to get testing before they go through what i went through or worse. I want to ease the way for those people going through what I did go through. If any good is to come of my own sickness it would be this way. (that is the selfless explanation)

On the other hand I get busy and let it slide for a while sometimes.( bad JD bad ) :nono: )