Hello! I am a 28 year old female. I hope this won't be too long so I will try to get all to the point. But I am needing some help.
I had always been fairly small but average more than skinny. I had my first baby at 18 (10 years ago) and gained quite a bit of weight. After being told by my father and child's father that I am fat and unattractve I begin to show signs of an eating disorder. This included severely restricting calories and exercising for many hours each day-trying to work off every calorie I ate. I would get very dizzy and almost fainted one day at the gym. Went to the dr. and got my problem under control.
I got down to a normal weight again with little effort after that. I was down to 135 pounds and I am 5'4". About 3 years ago I heard about a low carb diet (it wasnt popular yet) so decided to give it a try. The weight flew off of me and I got down to 118 in a matter of 3 weeks. I loved the way I looked and so did everyone else. It was crazy and wonderful. Then my husband and I decided to have a baby. I went off of low carbing and gained a lot of weight again. I tried to do low carbing again after her birth but have not had success. I have tried everything. As time goes on I find that I am eating more and more, I have horrible cravings. I eat all the time. I buy all healthy foods for the house, but I will even go out of the house to get what I want (beer, ice cream, burgers, etc...). It never stops. I try to diet, weight watchers, calorie counting, low carbing, and i just can't do it. There is something going on here. It's like I forgot how to eat like a normal person. I am wondering if being on the low carb diet screwed me up because I have been really bad since then, or do I still have some crazy eating disorder that is trying to surface?
It has to stop. I am going to kill myself if I keep eating like this. I am now up to 160 pounds. Just a month ago I was at 154. Before that I was at 149.

i would get into a nutritionist or even a therapist, because it sounds like you're pretty distressed. and don't feel bad, everything will be okay! talk about your problems and your history and you might be able to uncover what's making you feel/eat this way (because they're probably both connected).

do you still try to restrict what you eat (ie. diet in any way?) that's likely the cause of your overeating and eating only unhealthy things. (remember, ice cream and burgers aren't bad at all, but if you eat them all the time, you miss out on some nutrients and lots of healthy foods! easier said than done, i know. i have a HUGE binge eating problem.) i doubt low carb "screwed you up," what's probably going on is that you keep trying to restrict and failing, so you feel worse and eat more unhealthy foods, thus perpetuating the cycle. i'd definitely get in to talk to someone. just make sure they understand that this is really affecting your life and you really have tried tons of things and you can't get over it. you don't want them to just think you're another McDonalds-addict! :)

anyway, good luck. another cool thing is that they say that everyone has a "natural" body weight that they settle at when they eat whenever they're hungry, whatever they want (obviously somewhat healthy and nutritious, because let's face it, our bodies aren't craving donuts and burgers every day!) Anyway, just something to look forward to! it's hard for me to trust that i could eat whatever my body needed and just settle into the weight i am meant to be, but i guess that's what ED's do to you. anyway, that thought always gives me some comfort, so good luck!

Are you still eating low carb? That may be the cause of your cravings. When I did the low carb thing, I was constantly craving sugar, fatty things like donoughts and cake. True low carb people claim that the cravings go away after a while, but they never did for me and my cravings only lead me to fall off the wagon and back into bulimia. Also, how long ago did you give birth? Are you breastfeeding? If you are having true PHYSICAL cravings for certain foods there must be a physical reason, but if it is emotional that would be different. I find that eating lots of sugar and carbs decreases my depression temporarily. (which is not a good way to medicate depression, but there is a physical response your body has to sugar and carbs).
You will NOT KILL YOURSELF, hear me? You can get through this and manage it. You just ned some help. And don't put up with people calling you FAT and UGLY and WORTHLESS, those people have no place in your life!!!

I had a horrible time with the low carb thing too...I ended up going back to starving, puking, and restricting myself instead - geez how smart was that? You may have an ED - have you had one before? I would consider talking to your doctor or a nutritionist and laying it all out for them. They should have some good ideas for you. It may be that you are eating more because of stress or because you are obssessing about not losing weight, I don't know...good luck

hey sam! im sam 2...welcome to these boards!! they are great!! and yes i would advice u to see a doctor, nutritionist, even a counsellor or therapist to make shure things dont get ne worse.

ur not fat

ur not ugly

ur not worthless.....tell urself that. if ppl call u those names they can shove it. dont listen to them.

i agree with what was said.. it could be a dieting/binging cycle (which is so common and a stressful rut to be in) which is why seeing a nutritionist is an excellent idea. it sounds like you're just out of tune with your hunger signals and perhaps, i'm guessing, it might be some emotional eating? you lost weight quickly before, saw how rewarding and easy it was, and attempted again and it didn't work out, and maybe this instills a need in you to eat more to cover up the sadness or dissapointment in yourself. with an ED it is so common to express yourself with food.

here's the thing.. you don't have to do crazy diets or starve yourself to lose weight. i know an ed (in case you have one) is way more than that, but it's just a fact to state to hopefully alleviate any panic about weight loss. you are having a tough time right now and seeing a nutritionist and perhaps a therapist would be a great way to get you back on track again. you are NOT going to die, gaining a lot of weight that quickly is mostly water weight. just think of this as a temporary problem that has a very attainable solution, and it's something you'll later learn from and grow from too.

and with that, you are a wonderful person no matter what your size and you can treat your body right and get down to a healthy weight, and feel like your eating habits are under control, all in a healthy way- and once you are doing it you will feel so much better. *hugs* hang in there hon.

well sed santo :)

Hi.... I totally agree with the others.. See a nutritionist... I also have an eating disorder. And until this past spring mine had been spiraling out of control and then I found a nutritionist. She has been helping me put together a great eating plan along with a counselor who are helping me get myself pulled back together. The nutritionist has been the best thing I have done for myself in years, and the counselor has also been a wide awakening for me as well. I totally recommend that you do both for yourself because they can benefit you in so many ways.

Bulimia and anorexia have ruled my life since I have been 13 and I'm now 35. The tdoc has told me that it could be like that for a very long time but I have decided that I will not allow it to rule me. I can be in charge of it.

Hang in there!! Thinking of you!!!!

Hugs,

Coffeegirl