Is it post-pardum depression if it has nothing directly to do with the baby? Everything I've read about post-pardum depression has to do with the baby and/or being a mom, but I am thrilled to death to be a mom again and love my baby to pieces, even when she's crabby it doesn't bother me much. She's a really easy baby. I love being a stay-at-home mom and do not get discouraged, sad or depressed with respect to the baby. It's been 3 months since I had the baby and she is sleeping for 6-8 hour stretches the majority of the time, so I'm still tired, but not completely exhausted so much anymore. Lately, though, I am very emotional and a little depressed, but the things that are upsetting me have nothing to do with the baby. So, would this still be post-pardum depression (my understanding is that it's a chemical imbalance due to childbirth) that I should talk to my OB/GYN about or coincidence that 3 months after having a baby, other things are making me depressed?

The reason for my question is that I'm not sure if I need to talk to my OB/GYN about post-pardum depression (my understanding is that it's a chemical imbalance due to childbirth that is "correctable" with antidepressants). I just feel out of sorts.

Personally I think every new mom deals with some sort of depression or anxiety. Having a baby is a big time adjustment and sometimes life gets you down. I was the same way you were, I was thrilled about being a mom and having such a beautiful healthy boy, but there was just something that bothered me. Though eventually it went anyway, if I were you I would talk to someone, just in case. I don't think it is so severe that you might need anti-depressents, but a good talking to never hurt no one. Sometimes it just feels better to talk to someone to get things off your chest. Try to see if there are new mother's groups or woman's groups in your area, sometimes they are runned by the hospitials themselves. Maybe going to a group therapy surrounding, you'll get a chance to express yourself and get to know women just like you. If you still feel depressed or feel that your getting worse than you should contact a doctor immediately.

Hi JM.

It is a huge adjustment, even if you are thrilled to have your new baby. I agree with the above post, it really helps to talk with people. I can't say whether or not what you are experiencing is true post-partum drepression but if you don't feel right, you don't feel right. You can talk with your ob/gyn or your regular doctor, whomever you feel knows you the best.

My little guy is only 3 weeks old and I am still feeling really up and down all the time. I know I want to find other new moms to talk with. It has taken me a while to physically feel ok enough to venture out but I am going to start just so I can have women to talk with.

Hang in there. Sleep even when you don't think you need to. even if you are getting 6 hours at a stretch, it still is below a normal amount.

Take care,

Jen

I've just started medication for depression. I feel exactly the same way as you. I actually think I've been dealing with a mild case since my DS was born. I got PG with my DD on my DS's 1st birthday, so my hormones have just been crazy for the last two years. But like you, it has nothing to do with the kids. I'm not very emotional, but I noticed I just don't feel like doing anything. Don't have any initiative, couldn't keep my house clean, didn't feel like going ANYWHERE, but resented being stuck at home all the time. I was constantly picking fights with DH and having anxiety issues. We are also stuck in a really crappy career and financial situation right now (Military) and very far from any family or friends. So I know that adds to it. But one night I was drinking 2 months ago, I noticed I felt better. I began to notice that the only time I felt like doing anything or talking to anyone was after I had been drinking, and knew I was medicating my depression with alcohol. I didn't like where that was going, so I sucked up my pride and asked the doctor who put me on Prozac. It has helped my moods TREMENDOUSLY. I never had any feelings of distance with the baby either, but after I started the meds, I took more joy in interacting with both my kids because I didn't "feel" like doing anything before. I did it because I had to. But now my house is clean, laundry is almost caught up, my DH likes me more, I'm not drinking, and believe it or not my sex life has improved. I've had no side effects whatsoever from the meds, which totally makes me believe I did indeed have a chemical thing going on and needed them.

Anyway, I totally believe you can have PPD without having negative feelings towards the baby. Don't be ashamed to ask for help. You won't regret it.

I called my OB/GYN and I guess it is post-pardum depression, even if my depression is not baby-related. Thanks for the advice.

I'll raise my hand...I've been going through it too. Same thing, nothing really against my kids, just feeling sad and a bit empty. Siren, you sound JUST like me. I think I've had a bit of it hanging on since DS was born 2 years ago. I was self medicating as well. So last week I saw 2 therapists! :eek: Now I'm taking some supplements for depression. It seems to be working, I don't feel as much anxiety when the kids start to go nuts. I also feel happier, but I think a lot of that is coming from the fact that I opened up and told everyone how I was feeling, it was pretty freeing.

I am just so depressed lately (all of a sudden it seems) that I am sabatoging my marriage. I can see it happening, but I just can't seem to stop. I just feel so empty and have no desire to do anything. Being a stay-at-home mom with a busy husband is compounding the problem because now it really bothers me that he is so busy and I have nothing to look forward to. I hate this feeling and this is not me normally. I'm just not myself anymore and I feel like my life is spiriling out of control at the moment. I feel paranoid and anxious too, which is really not me. I have a great husband who would do anything for me, but all of a sudden I'm just not happy anymore. My doctor prescribed Paxil, but she said not to expect any miracles for at least a few weeks because it takes a full month to really kick in. I really need it to kick in NOW before I really screw things up. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one going through this bizarre behavior.

I am reading this and I had been wondering if what I was feeling is PPD. I love my DS so much and I thought PPD had to do with those people you read about on the news who kill their babies. I would never consider hurting him no matter how much he cries. I have to say I have not felt like myself since having DS. I fight with my DH all the time and he does so much for me already. He gets up with DS at night and takes DS as soon as he gets home so I can get some stuff done. But DH is the only one who I can stand holding my DS. The minute some one else holds him I get very anxious. And also I have alot of anxiety when he cries and I can not help him. I tried talking to DH about all this but he said we can work through it and he doesn't want to see me on more drugs. I also always feel like some one is going to take DS away from me and I won't be able to be with him for awhile.

Kiera, it sounds like we are living parallel lives!!!!! LOL. Kids who are the same age, my DS sounds alot like yours (fussy high needs baby, terrible sleeper, high energy toddler, his middle name is even Sebastian) and my DD sounds like yours, too. With the neck skin and everything! Weird!

JM, everything you described is exactly the way I've been feeling and acting lately too. I too, resent my DH for getting "out" and getting to use his skills and talents, where noone even knows or cares about what I like to do or what I am good at. I am a classically trained vocalist and I did alot of stage stuff, and I can't tell you the last time I've been able to perform. I think I've mentioned before, my DS has just started covering his ears when I sing!!!!!!! :rolleyes:

That's funny about your son covering his ears. Mine has started saying, "no singing mama" And then last night when he said it I asked him why...and in his little two year old attitude he said "I'm eating, OK?" I couldn't help but laugh and even called my DH to tell him the story.

For everyone who is feeling the need to "get out" make sure that you do. You have to keep yourself sane. Make sure that you are doing little things for yourself. JM you've gotta create things to "look forward to". It's all I have to help get me by somedays. I always have something planned for a few weeks ahead...even if it's something simple like a movie, manicure or coffee out with the girls.

When I wasn't working I too was feeling resentment towards my husband even though he is a saint and always helps with the baby when he was home. Even though he was busting his butt at work, I was jealous that he was getting out everyday. Make sure you get out everyday...even if it's just a 15 minute walk alone.

What I meant by "nothing to look forward to" I meant with my husband. Because he is so busy, we never spend much time actually together. Sure, he comes home, but even then, he'll bring work home with him, do projects around the house, do stuff on the computer, etc. so even when we're home together, we don't do things together and never makes plans together for me to have something to look forward to with him. I scrapbook (which gets me out of the house for classes and workshops whenever I want to get out), my mother is thrilled to watch the baby any time I ask her to (which isn't too often because I love spending time with my baby, she makes life worthwhile, especially when I'm missing my husband), and I do other things that I enjoy either by myself or with the baby, but life just doesn't seem complete until my husband gets home and our family is all together. He is the love of my life. He works late a lot, but he also golfs with his buddies once a week, and has a side business with 2 partners that he needs to frequently meet with. I trust him completely and know that he would never cheat on me and that he is truly busy at work (his boss is his buddy and I know him and his wife and kids really well too). I'm not resentful that he works (I LOVE being a stay-at-home mom and doing my own thing all day every day - I've worked for so long it's nice to have a break), I just really miss my husband and am resentful that he's too busy for me sometimes. We talked about it and he's going to skip golf tonight to spend time with me to figure out how we can squeeze in more time with each other and make it a point to put our marriage first. He's a wonderful man and I know it's not intentional; my reaction to it, though, was off the charts when normally, I would just talk to him and bring it up in normal conversation and not cry for 3 days (and nights!) over how aweful things are when they're not really that bad, it's not intentional. and it's easily correctable. I knew I was overreacting, but just couldn't control my emotions. I felt much better after the Paxil kicked in and I feel more normal already, so I'm sure it is post-pardum depression.

Ladies, I also know how yall feel....I have felt this way since by 3rd child was born...It seemed to get better, than with our 4th it is back..I never have felt sad about my children, I feel sad about what is going on around me!! I also cry alot and I have anxiety...Unlike all of you whose husbands go to work and you resent, my husband has came home from Iraq sick...I have been with him every min (except in the hospital to give birth) for the past 2 yrs and I feel awful for resenting that...It doesnt help when you look at him all day sitting there all druged up!!Or moaning in pain..Than you have the baby, who by the way is not easy going, crying..Than I have the older ones fighting...Arrgghhhh, some days I get so stressed. I know I have rambled on, but it does help to talk to others who feel the same...I know it will get better very soon, but it does help to talk about it...Thanks, Ralinda