My wife has been recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder. We have been married for 4 years and together for 6. We have a 3.5 year old girl and a 7 month old boy. My wife is 26 and I'm 30. I started to notice some things different years ago before my daughter was born. I used to call it her Dr. Jenkle and Mr. Hide episodes. They wouldn't last more than an hour and her anger would fade. She would get mostly angerly about ex girlfriends or what I did at lunch, which was all in her head because my love her and would never do anything like that. She would realize that and things would be great again. Than about 1.5 years ago she started having lots of unexplained health problems. She had 4 or 5 times she thought she had cancer and we would get tests done and she was fine. She thought she had a heart problem and we got tests and she was fine. She started having pains in her side and thought her gallbladder was the problem and after tests it was fine. Then later said she might have microscopic colitis so they put her on some anti nausea medicine zofran. She thought she had M.S. and after many tests they couldn't find anything. She complained about her hips and tailbone and tests after tests nothing ever came of it. During this time she smoked weed heavily and took pain killers to the point her doctors, which by this time was many started sending out information on her to not give her anymore pills. I love my wife and stood by her through all of this when family and friends started to think it was all in her head. It was to the point I was getting told at work not to miss anymore days to help her out. In December of 2004 my son was born, during the pregancy my wife stopped smoking and drinking, but still took pain killers. After he was born she stopped so she could breast feed and those next few weeks were beautiful. Then her anxiety started to kick in. I had to leave on a business trip for 5 days and during that time she took over 50 vicadin. At that point begged her to seek help. She started seeing a theripist and a psch doctor. They put her on zoloft and zanax and rispendol(sp?). Soon after she started not being able to take care of the kids during the day and would lay in bed. Then she tried to commit sucicide. Taking 20 zanax pills. They put her in the hospital for 3 or 4 hours and let her go. Her doctor took her off of the rispendol and upped her zoloft and zanax. Around May her depression ended and the bad part started. She became flighty. Go out drinking 2 or 3 days a week. Never at home at night, because she said the kids were driving her crazy and that she felt trapped by me. She asked for a seperation in June to sort things out. So she moved in to a friends house. Her doctor then put her on abifly 5 mg a day. When she moved out, I had the kids or my Mom had the kids 90% of the time. She said she started to see another guy and that she loved me, but I wasn't there for her in the past. From day to day she would say lets get a divorce too this is just a phase and she will get out of it soon. She constintly says she needs her independance from me and the kids and is always on the run. Last week her friends kicked her out because of her actions and I let her move back home. I haven't seen much of her and the anxiety has really taken over. Sunday she admitted to having a drinking problem and shook all day long and was telling me about voices and images of people that weren't there. She wouldn't stay at home more than 2 hours and would freak out and leave. She would go to a friends house stay 2 hours and leave. My wife says her theripst wants her to work on her childhood problems. I think she needs to get on some other medicine. She keeps threatening divorce but in the same breath tells me to wait on her to get through this. Our money has gone. She has raked up $400 cell phone bills and $300 a month in alcohol and who know how much in weed. What is a loving husband to do? I love her, but at the same time don't know how much more I can stand. She wants me to wait on her, but she will not quite talking to other guys. Help.....

Your story sounds very similar to what my sister went thru - almost to a T. Tho my sis is not bp (or so the docs say) she has been diagnosed with ADD and severe depression.
Believe it or not the best thing that ever happened to her was when she stopped taking Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitors. She still self medicates a little with alcohol and pot but she is no longer destroying our family piece by piece. Is your wife on any of those? Perhaps it is something she could discuss with the doctor.

The only thing that I know she is on(she hides and lies about it) is Zoloft, Zanax, Abilfy, ultraset, zofran, whisky, a medicine for stomach cramps, and the ever popular weed.

mixing marijuana, xanax, and weed is enough to make a sane person go crazy. For the benefit of your family seek out drug counselling or some type of intervention. It may seem hard to face now but Rehabilitation can do a lot for individuals and families. Good luck Mike, stay strong and continue to seek help for you and your children.

Thanks for your support Bop. As a newbie to this I have so many questions and emotions going through my head. I try to stay strong for my wife and kids. BP is so hard on a relationship expecially with kids.

Hi Miket5555,
I am really glad you are here - don't try to handle this on your own - come here - seek medical advise, get counceling - take care of yourself my friend.
I don't know a whole lot about Bipolar - I have a new diagnosis - and I have Bipolar II - but I do have a lot of crazy times in my past and I can only tell you what would have worked the best for me and what I would have wanted to have happen if it was me.
I guess a modified form of tough love would be the best for me. I would react best to a situation where my partner wanted to be active and involved with becoming healthier - and that for me would include couple therapy. Where my partner stated clearly , I want this to work - this is the minimum I am willing to accept (keeping it really basic) this is where I want us to go, and this is what the deal breakers are...
I also would want there to be safety nets set up that would minimize what kind of damage I could do to the family - because I may not always be able to do that job on my own. That may include having my partner have sole custody, maybe only having supervised visits and maybe not living in the home until I was more stable. This part would be very important to me because when I became healthier I would have to deal with the guilt about all the damage I had done and the less - the easier it would be for me to "get it together" and stop trying to self medicate etc. if I didn't have to face a disturbing reality about the effects of my behavior on the family I love so much.
Listen to her too - if she says she loves you but doesn't feel like you supported her before - get into therapy...you obviously have been incredibly supportive - she must mean she doesn't feel understood or like you have talked to her in the way she needs to talk. That complaint will be totally gone if you guys are talking in therapy.
I have to say I know exactly what she means about being trapped - and sometimes about not being supported - and those are often really irrational overwhelming feelings. I have been lucky enough to "know" on some level that it is crazy but it doesn't mean I don't feel that to the core sometimes.
I know it doesn't help much - but I know that when I am out of control - it is incredibly uncomfortable for me too...I don't try to run around and wreak havoc on all those I love - I actually feel wild and crazy - and it is awful for me. I just don't know how do deal.
I am so very sorry you are having to go through this - I will pray for you and your family. Please just take what is useful for you from this and ignore the rest...after all, I'm as crazy as the next person :-)

Jen

Hi ~ I am the bipolar wife , though I have not done evey thing you spoke of her doing its making me cry. I don't have any children , but we are seperated (still living together though) it all started when I was manic . I don't really know what to tell you ,but from my angle try and stick it out she is sick & I am sure she really loves you. ~Kittyy

Imo..if I Was In Ur Shoes..i Would Seperate..do It For The Kids...in A Situation Like This..she Could Be A Danger To The Childern...becarful
I Hear Stories On My Local News Of Parent Leaving The Childern In A Tub And Forgetting That They Have Childern In That Tub And A Tragic Accedent Happends...and Sometimes It Because Of Drugs Or Alchol
Please For The Safty Of The Childern..think About This. I Know Ulove Her,and If U Love Her.. Seperate Till She Recovers Fully And Go To Thos Meetings With Her.

Hi Miket555555
I just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you ...... I am praying for your family and would love to hear how things are going for you when you get a chance.
Jen

Just registered, read your post, I think your wife is my wife too. I have almost the same story, My kids are 6 &3 and I am at the end of my rope, I went to counselling with her this morning, she promised to be honest, she lied through her teeth and again made me out to be the bad guy. I give up. I have tried to help her, I don't know what to do anymore. Besides child support I give her I still give her more money and now I can't afford to pay my own rent, I've lost everthing I own to her, yet I still try to help, why?

I can't do it anymore!

Sorry I know no one can help me I just had to vent.

Tim W.

Thanks Jen and everyone for your support. Over the past week things have been still in a manic state around here. All of my wifes friends are not allowing her to stay with them anymore and I told her until she gets help she cannot come home and stay either, so she is now staying at her so called boyfriends house. She seems fine staying away from the kids and myself. I guess now we don't take away "Her" time. Some positive things have happened I guess. She is telling me that she has problems concentrating on any thought and that is one of the reasons she is constintly on the move and one of the reasons she doesn't want to deal with our Marriage and family. She is also admitting that the medicine she is on, zoloft, zanax and abilify is not controling her anxiety and thought process. She also is admitting that she doesn't sleep and that maybe the voices she hears are not because she is in touch with spirits like Sylvia Brown. I am trying to not interfer with her, I am just trying to keep me and the Kids seperate from the situation and hopefully she will come back around. I am seeing her Psych doctor on the nex visit in a week or so. So maybe she can get on some other Meds. I hear Depakote is good.


Thanks everyone again. God Bless and your prayers help so much.

No ,she knows better, why does she drink? everyone knows you CAN NOT DRINK WHILE ON MEDS, SHE IS ON TOO MANY MEDICATIONS, I WOULD HAVE A TALK WITH HER DOCTOR, she probably doesnt even remember why shes on the meds shes on in the first place. Go to a session with her and the listen to the psyc pshychiatrist and see if anything is doing her any good, maybe she doesnt need a brain doc, she may need a rehab for the alchhol prob, she needs to shake that first before she'll ever get a grip on her bipolar, the two dont mix and they work against each other, and i believe there is nothing you can do in this situations , she has to take the responsibility as an adult with 2 kids to make sure she does what is right for a family, Sounds like she wants to party all the time. And again she has to get a grip on the drinking before she can even come close to dealing with bipolar. if she doen=snt want to then all i have to say is shes not happy and is trying to escape through meds and drinking, You deserve the best im sure, and you need to take a good look at the whole picture. And its not another medication she needs, there is no magic pill that will fix any of this , it is her that has to fix it with rehab(if she wants it) the more meds she get the more stoned she is going to get.Im sorry but i would have to agree with the previous reply, get a divorse and if she wants you and the kids bad enough then she will do all she can to make sure that she takes the right steps, we as bipolar have to take responibilty because our spouses surely take the brunt of it all especially nice guys like you. take care of you and the kids and let her worry about her for now, bye kimber lee

My son was bipolar it is very stressful dealing with someone with this terrible disease. He was on Lithium, Zyprexa, Seroquel (sp) he drank alcohol, smoked weed. He would often tell me how painful it was to feel the way he does each and everyday of his life. He said he drank and smoked otherwise he could not get through the day. Your wife may be experiencing the same thing. She needs to see a very good Psychiatrist, if one does not work take her to another one until you feel comfortable she is getting help. Your children are very important being around her can affect their mental well being. I also have a family member that experienced this with their children, they now have serious mental problems because of their Mother was Bi-Polar she lacked proper treatment. My son is no longer alive he died August 9th 2004, he was my only child but I must say to all this, he is now at peace he is no longer suffering.

You mentioned your wife has trouble concentrating, my son would have racing thoughts which preventing him from sleeping and relaxing. One of the medications they gave him controlled that. You also mentioned she was hearing voices, one of the doctors told me they thought my son might have another personality as in multiple personalties this is something that might be worth checking into just a thought. I can look back on a lot of these things now that my son is gone and see where mistakes were made even though I thought I was on top of everything everyday a Super Mom you might say as far as his health and well being was concerned. I am glad to hear your wife is talking to you about some of her problems that is a step in the right direction, Good Luck.

miket55555,
I was so so very happy to hear how well you are doing and how strong the decisions you are making are.
You are experiencing something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy and you are doing it with such strength and grace.
You should be very proud of what a wonderful and thoughtful father you are.
I know this is still awful and nowhere near over for you - but keep your chin up friend. I am just so in awe of your wisdom. I will pray for you and for your suffering wife.
xo
Jen

Hello there,
I too have a wife that has this illness. Well, it is an illness that effects the entire family is hideous ways. My wife had an affair on me back before she had her dio. We almost came to divorce. We still titter from here to there with this problem. I’m getting better at coping with the illness. It has taken a lot of counseling and prayer.
Advice: seek help for yourself and the kids first. Get yourself a trusted pastor to confide in (or friend). Seek out places to vent (here is a good place) or people to speak with. Find a support group in your area like NAMI. Set ground rules for her activities such as drinking. There is a host of other items that have gotten me through. I can not count the times that my family has stepped in to assist me with child care. Heck, without them my son would have had it rough.

hello,

first of all, my heart goes to you and your kids. second, it sounds like you have made some great strides to helping yourself and your kids. keep being strong.. she does need to seek help for her drug/alcohol addiction. once she kicks that she should be able to start concentrating on the mental illness. but realize that she is going to have to be the one to do the work... all you can do is be supportive. you will be in my thoughts.. especially the kids..

take care
p2p

Miket-Be sure and talk to the doctor about the drinking. My sis did what your wife is doing and ended up dying in a car accident due to her drinking and prescription mixes. She was not able to be around any of her children (the same as my brother who passed away due to suicide and my twin sister who is an illegal drug addict and refuses conventional help). You may not be able to salvage your relationship but be sure to attempt to save her life by telling her doc what is going on with the drinking end. You can not change her and it is her choice to seek help and change her life, but by telling her doc you can live with the fact that you did all you could to keep her safe. Then you have to go on with your life with your children and let her come to her own realization that she is being left behind and needs to seek help to be a part of her family. Do not reject any efforts that she makes, but you must make her realize through your moving on that your children come first to you (they may suffer from this in the future, so you have an example to set to them as well by showing them the consequence of not seeking help but acceptance of the disease at the same time, not easy). I feel your pain having been surrounded by family with this disease!

Bestoldies-I read your post about multiple personality with the bipolar and I am so glad to hear another person mention this. My twin sis is also multiple, and she can never sleep due to her alter personalities coming out. They even have e=mail addresses and I hear from them periodically. I am sorry to hear of your son's passing, but I hear you about knowing he is finally at peace. Did your son ever become successfully medicated? My sis resists meds and she loves having her alter personalities (refuses to attemp merge or at least her alters prevent this). How did you cope with all the episodes? My twin is having many more and I hate to pray for her peace b/c I know that the only answer may be her death. Sorry to be so morbid, it is just very hard to watch this for a third time!

Hello Mike,

First of my thoughts and prayers are with you to find the strenght to deal with this, I suffer from bi-polar, and mulitple, a year ago I went through a really rough stage, my husband, had gotten deployed to Iraq and things went to south fast, that was the fist time my husband ever had to leave, and I had no control. I was diagnosed bi polar in that time, I just thought I had baby blues after the birth of my daughter, she had so many medical problems I blamed it on stress, but I was having the spress, of spending money and sexual urges, never cheated though. I also did the medical thing, thinking I had things nothing there, after test, that is a pure expample that she needs attenchion thats how i was I needed attenchion for some one to care for me, now that I am sick, I think I am being punished for lieing about being sick, fuuny how things work out, then I wanted to be sick and now that I am I want it gone, lol. You know I loved my husband with all my heart, still do, that man stuck by me throught it all, with my bi polar, I spent money like crazy, on useless stuff, racking up in debt, when my husband first left to Iraq, I missed him so much and hit a deep depression, then this wild side came out and lasted for months, the side your wife is in, knowing you have responsibilitys, but in the mind at that time it is not there, many focus on the high, the eratic sprees, your wifes it is drinking and drugs, I never went down that road, cause i knew that my daughter needed me and I had no family to help me, or what people say a excape goat. I had to deal with reality, I refused meds, I could not see myself being out of it, when I had a child with medical problems to take care of, so I still continued on my sprees not knowing that it was hurting my family.

Honestly i did what your wife does blame it on others, with me and others with bi polar we can not account for our actions, I often wonder why I did the things I did, like me at the time I knew if I spent that money or other things, I knew I had conciquences to deal with, but it didnt matter, my mind said do these things, I am not sure if this is making any sense to you, I am trying to let you know what happens, this is a sickening disease, that had its ups and downs, people say you can never get rid of this, it will always be with you, some seek help not really wanting it, they just deal, get put on meds to supress moods and so forth, but the problem still occurs, you have experieced this first hand,

I have learned some things, over this last year, one, no matter how many times you are threaten with divorce, or the fights over the things you do, the depression, the guilt, NO ONE CAN ACCEPT HELP INLESS THE WANT IT, when I say that I mean deep inside over all the feelings of hurt, pain, happiness, you can not change a person, ONLY THAT PERSON CAN CHANGE THEMSELVES, they have to hit that bottem, it is like a crack attic, wheh you have nothing, nothing worth living for, then you turn it all around, and it will be a long a trying raod, but it the end it is wroth it. I used my husband as a cruch, looked to him for that support, even though I was hurting him in the inside, lies turned into more lies, and over little things, askign for help then doing the same bad things the same day with in mnutes, but one day something clicked for me, not even a dr, group thearpy could do, I lookd at myself, and seen my life and saw the hurt in my husband and daughter, and I vowed that day I would stop my actions and find other ways of coping with the lonelyness, I stared to write, write feelings on little post its, and when I was frustrated and sad, I would write them down and hand them uo and read them, I stared to excercise, my body and brain, I knew that meds could not help me, I needed to be there for my baby, I clean like crazy, but now, I still get depressed sometimes, usually happening for a hour or so, but I have been quite normal, according ot the drs, see now in,my life I have peace with in myself, no doubts worries, but I am not out of the woods, I still have alot of mending to do, I need to gain that trust with my husband, he has been very understanding through it all even thoug there was times he wanted to walk and leave, it was not fair to him or my daughter, but I tell you the greatest cure for anything, is LOVE, my husbands undiying love for me is what got me through.

I am sorry to hear your pain and I am sure here this site will help you, to find strenght, compassion and faith when it all seems like it is bad, know that she does love you, and when you feel like giving up, look for faith in whom ever your GOD is, look at the happiness in your childrens eyes, when they say I love you daddy, remeber your vowes, through sickness and health. I pray for you Mike and your family.

I pray for your wife to be cured of her sicknesses, the bipolar, the drugs, and alchol, I pray that one day she finds that inner peace in herself and can move forward.

No amount of chit-chatting on a message board is going to give you much support. That said, you read this so here is some truly GOOD advice: Start reading a book or two (like the one by Patty Duke, the Bi=polar actress) about this condition and how to deal with it; seek out a local support group for families of bi-polar people and start attending their gatherings regularly (the point being, you cannot do this alone-- seek help in supporting yourself, or you will rapidly go under-- from someone who knows).

On a personal level, you wife has already ditched you (in terms of her condition). So, exercise your own power as a spouse-- set limits to how much damage she can do to your life and the lives of your kids. After all, IF you love her so much, you MUST be willing to step in and bring a semblance of control and sanity back into your life immediatley: 1) Confiscate her car keys, credit cards, cell phone, etc. so she cannot use up these resources in rapid-fire succession 2) Make sure you shield you children from the unstableness of all this while you're trying to gain control (like, enlist friends, family, community resources with help in supporting these kids-- like child-care, after-school programs, etc. 3) Make sure your own act is "cleaned up" while you're helping her. Think about this considerably. 4) Make sure the help you help her with is bona-fied and systematic: i.e. make sure the doctors, medication, etc. is valid, not haphazard,AND make sure she is consistent with the program-- if not, it'll just ad to the chaos (my relative had to call the police on her husband finally, to get him into a clinic where he HAD to stay put, and had to take the medication consistently, until it brought him down, so that he could stabilize for further care.... (It was a hard choice, but truly loving someone sometimes brings up making such choices)-- upshot: he stabilized, is doing well in maintaining himself, is on a medication program, their life as a family has improved dramatically for the better. This can be you folks too. But YOU must make these solid decisions as the solid spouse, for now-- don't look to her for making sensible decisions when she is in a bi-polar up/down mode and acting out.

Hi guys,

I finally got to go to my wifes psych doctor to discuss her and the meds. My wife made me swear if she let me go I wouldn't discuss her drinking problem. I agreed just so I could discuss the other problems and maybe she would slip up and confese on her own. I discussed with the doctor what behavior I have witnessed and what my wife has admitted of. We both told the doctor about her not being able to handle the kids at all and the anxiety controling everying move she makes. We talked about her not sleeping, the flighty patterns and not being able to concentrate. This visit was on Monday and unknown to me my wife quite taking her abilify(sp?) the day or so before. The doctor said she should continue taking the abilify but upped her dose. I mentioned Depakote and she agreed maybe she should go on that also.

Money has been tight lately so we couldn't get her prescriptions filled until payday so she is only taking the zoloft and small amounts of zanax because she is almost out. She hasn't smoked weed in over a week or so also. I have noticed the last day or so that she is starting to act like my old wife again. For instance last night we ran out of baby formula and had to search for money in the couch and car to being able to come up with enough change to get a small thing of formula to last through the night. My wife was completly come the whole time, and even left at 3 in the morning with my son to get his formula. That is a huge step for her. Just 5 days before she couldn't even hold back her stress enough to change his clothes. She also stayed home last night for the first time in a week and said that I didn't make her nervous or stressed at all. Plus I noticed that she is starting to reason again, something I haven't seen her do in a while.

Could getting off some of this medicine be helping. She still drinks and admits she probably needs help on that, but her personality seems to be changing back.

Another update.

Sunday my wife came home around 11:30am and slept until close to 5pm ate dinner and went back to bed around 8pm. Woke up the next day at 6:30am and then took another nap around 11am. She hasn't slept this much in months. I also noticed her eating again, which hardly takes time to eat and has lost 20 pounds in the last 2 or 3 months. Last night she told me before she left that she was getting really confused and didn't like the person that she has been lately. She said she doesn't know why she is doing some things and that it is scary to her that she did them. I can start to see my wife acting a little like her old self and I think she is recongizing all of the things she has been doing. She also has said that she has been depressed the last couple of days. She left last night and went to her boyfriends house because she said she needed to talk with him about what she is starting to realize. Then this morning she acted confused and didn't know what to think. Could the manic phase be ending. In my previous post I posted that I could start to see some differences in her actions and manners. Is it ending? Is it cycling? Was it the abilify? She has a new prescription for depakote, should she start taking it? I love my wife so much and I'm glad to see her realizing what she has been doing, but at the same time I am so sorry for her that it's scary to her. Like a bad dream.....

She does sound depressed. My twin sis who is bipolar and multiple does this when she is depressed. This is when it is tempting to say that the bad times are over, but trust me this is not the end. The cycle will not end until she successfully medicates, and she will NEVER be able to do this until she stops drinking and becomes completely honest with herself and her doc. That relationship is the MOST IMPORTANT thing to you both right now, so she should concentrate on trusting her doc and doing what the doc says (including telling the doc about the drinking and drugs so she can get help on that). She has a LONG road ahead, so if you love her and want to see her acting this way most of the time you need to be sure you LEAD her in the RIGHT direction. It is easy to be an enabler (which I believe that you are due to your asking if she should go against her doc on the medication front, not telling the doc the truth about the drinking (it is ok to go against her and tell the doc the truth), trusting her now that she is upfront about the boyfriend, and feeling sorry for her--I had this problem myself and trust me it takes ALOT to change but you need to) but you must change along with her otherwise she will not get better and eventually leave for good b/c she will eventually blame you for her inability to get better. I have seen this happen too many times with my twin sis, so trust me on this. You are invested in this being married and having children, so kick your bad habits out the door as well for your family's well being. I do not mean to sound belittling towards you, it is just that you need to be tough (tough love) now in this critical stage. Stick to your guns and you will see the changes that you want to see.

Depession will do that to you but coming off of something your addicted to will do that also.....I felt like that while i was getting off of the bad stuff!!! She really needs to take her meds right...... I don't know if zanex is good for her right now especially if she has been doing all those other things to, zanex is very dangerous and very very addicting.....I know that for a fact and i don't think anyone that is having the troubles she's having should be on zanex atleast until you know she's off every thing else..... It's really dangerous like if she starts fenning for pain pills then she has the zanex to take there place even with alcohol....... Substituting a narcotic with a narcotic isn't going to help (you did say she was taking pain pills right?) didn't want to assume...... I think you should have a one to one talk with her doc.....I have been in this situation a couple of times and if i had someone by my side that's what i would want... Just be careful around her right now she is very sensitive and very emotional right now..... Show her you care and how much you love her but don't be pushy.... I think a good talk with her doc (without her, if possible) would be good for both of you.....Keep us updated and good luck......

Hi Mike...my heart truly goes out to you. I cried my eyes out when I first read your post, because I have been in your wifes shoes and know the devastation first hand. Your story touched me so much, that I called my ex-husband in tears to tell him once again how sorry I am. :(

I certainly don't want to make matters worse for you, but I just put up a new (and rather lengthy) post in my "Newly diagnosed..." thread and thought that maybe somehow u might benefit from reading my story. Who knows, maybe getting the perspective of another "bipolar wife" may help u understand a bit more and also see that there is hope for her.

From what I have read, you deserve a medal for being such a devoted husband and father. That is the best thing you can do for your family and you should be proud of yourself for not giving up. Sadly, I think that's very rare. Cuz it's easier for significant others to just throw up their hands when the going gets rough. No matter what she may say, your wife really needs you, so keep doing what your doing and try to keep a stiff upper lip.

My thoughts are with you and your family. Please hang in there.

Robin :)

Just letting you know that i'm still here and we do care.

Hope you all are doing ok.....were thinking and prayin' for you......... *JESS*

Dear Mike:

I am a wife with a recent diag' Bipolar. I dont do the alcohol, because I am so afraid of what I dont remember and what I have done to others. But I do use weed on an every day basis, to stop the noises, repeated thoughts and to keep the unclear voices out of my head. Now Mike I do understand that you can't and probably will never understand what that feels like. I am really recently diag'. But I do know you need to pull out not for you, then for those kids. When I am on the manic moments, as the doc's would say, I will smoke, A LOT. I am also am honest with my doctor's. Do you know how hard that is to tell people that I am almost 36, with 3 kids and husband....that I smoke pot, every day. Terrrible!!!!!!!!!! From a Bipolar Mom, who has plan out a suicide attempt. Save yourself Mike. She isnt ready to save herself, nor your kids. I do know the difference, maybe because of the medicine, maybe from all the stuff I read on this disease or maybe because this is my calm time. That is just my OPINION!! Good Luck!

A Wife Who Also has Bipolar

I hate to mention this, because no one ever wants to do this, but maybe you should put her in the hospital. I think that you can request the doctors do this, and it is surprising they didn't after her suicide attempts. the reason you might want to do this is so there is a safe and stable environment for her to become stabilized on meds. My husband will be going to a respite home soon because he has to do a complete med change. It is healthier for her, and healthier for the family. so maybe talk to her about that if you can, and let her know that you aren't giving up on her, but want her to be able to get stabilized. But I would make a decision as soon as possible. Maybe in the hospital, they would be able to diagnose her better. She also has to want to get better. If she doesn't, there isn't much you can do. Pray, maybe, too, if that is something that you do. Good luck.