Hi,
I'm new to this board. I've had depression for about 15 years, ever since I was a teen. I come from a family of depressed women. I've been in and out of therapy and doctors, on and off lots of different meds. I also started having severe anxiety about 4 years ago along with panic attacks that have left me less than the independant person I once was. I was dianosed in late January with Lyme disease. It was thought that I have probably had lymes for 12 to 15 years. When you have the disease for this long and it goes untreated, it can cause severe neurological problems. I was thinking that this was the answer to all of my past mental problems. Well, I went to my doc. yesterday and the good news is that the lyme disease is getting better and I will probably be over it in a month or two but the bad news is that I'm still depressed and have anxiety. Today my therapist told me I just need to face the fact that I'm probably going to have depression for the rest of my life and I just needed to quit being so stubborn about it and get help. Well, I'm just not quite ready to trust anyone to take over, or help, with the responsibilities I have with 3 children but on the other hand I'm about ready to walk away from it all. I know what everyone says to do for depression, eat right, excercise, get a hobby, and meds but I'm just at a point where I don't want to deal anymore. Where do I begin? I've been here before but I guess I was hoping that when the lyme disease was gone, the depression and anxiety would go also. It looks like this won't be the case. I feel as if there is no hope. :confused: Any thoughts?
Sincerely,
Amber

One baby step at a time, there is always hope. Very very glad to hear your Lymes is going. At the moment I think you need to make an appointment with a doctor (a good one - and they're harder to find than you'd think so look carefully) to discuss your depression. Perhaps it may not get better when the lyme disease does but it could mean that meds are more effective - or that you need a different kind as a consequence. Start by doing that, see hwere it leads. In the mean time, take care of yourself, do a bit of pampering, etc. xxx All the best, let us know how it goes.

...I'm just at a point where I don't want to deal anymore. Where do I begin?...I know it is really hard to take even the simplest of first steps, but seeing a psychiatrist and deciding whether or not to take medication (again) is usually a good start. Some of these meds may help with the anxiety now too. Given your family history, it sounds like this may be part of your genetics. Don't feel bad about that! Hey, I got stuck with a whole bunch of stuff I did not agree to when I was born!

I usually treat the most debilitating things first: if I have no energy, I will rest; If I feel super lonely, I will call someone; if I am mad, I will try to figure out what is pissing me off; etc. One crisis at a time.

Hope, to me, is a curious feeling. The dictionary defines it as: "A wish or desire accompanied by confident expectation of its fulfillment". It comes to me only when a certain possibility is brought into my consciousness that I feel confident enough to manifest. So, in order to feel hopefull: I keep an open mind (to find hidden opportunities) and I dogedly increase my level of competency (to breed self efficacy).

Maybe you can find something in my babbling here that may help you. Maybe you can just think about coping today instead of the rest of your life. Let us know how it goes ok? I'll send you some happy vibes...
:D

Thanks for your posts. Right now I'm getting a little break from my family (sort of). I left my husband and two children at home and came up to my parents with my other daughter to attend a wedding. I wanted to see how this would make me feel. To tell you the truth is has just caused a new set of feelings that I don't know how to deal with. I think I have just realized over the last couple of days that I need to see a therapist more often. I'm seeing one but only about every 6 weeks and we haven't even scratched the surface. I really don't want to do meds because I've done so much of it and had a bad time getting off of the Effexor, which was the last one I was on. And I'm afraid it will mess with the lyme disease. I think I will try the therapy thing to begin with. It costs $100 every time I go in to see him but I guess it will probably be worth it. At least I have a plan. That's good isn't it? Simple steps first right? Thanks for your replies.
Amber

A plan is good, as was realising you need to take a bit of a break and all those other things. Thats a lot of progress in a short time, a applaud you. Now you have to act on it, keep us posted with how that goes. Hugs xxx

Amber,

This is my first post. I did a search on Lyme disease and you had the most recent post. I've had Lyme disease for 13 months. I've always been a little depressed but it has gotten much worse since I've been sick. I joined today because I am overwhelmed with my life.

I too am having a break from my family, and it is not going as I'd hoped. My other half, who I am very close to, has gone away with his family for a week. I can't go because of my illness. I thought it would be good to be alone for a while, and get some sleep (he always gets up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and I can't get back to sleep), but I'm not sleeping and I feel totally disconnected from him. His 5-year old (who doesn't live with us) is with him so when he calls me from his cell phone the calls are short and he's distracted. This will go on until Saturday, then his son will be here for a week. I had a bad day today and I wanted to call him but I have to wait for him to call me (he only gets cell service if he stands in the driveway across the street from where he is), and his son will probably be with him so I can't tell him how upset I am.

Back to you -- If you've had Lyme disease for all those years, I think it is possible that the depression will subside, if not totally go away, once you are better.

On the therapy end... you might be able to find a peer group in your area. Contact NAMI or another mental resource for local depression/anxiety groups that might meet. Imagine this forum with faces and voices! Usually these groups are free of cost or may ask for a donation. They'd be an inexpensive and effective supplement to the other therapy that you are in. Some therapists also facilitate various groups that are fee based, but are less expensive than one on one therapy. If you have depression in your family history, there is no knowing what is under the surface of your emotions... I grew up in a family full of various mental illnesses and substance abusers, who loved me in their way, but were not equipped to give me what was needed of course not realizing it... I dealt with things that a lot of kids don't... odds are you did too. Your taking charge of this can be so good for you and your family. One step at a time, even if it means 1/2 hour at a time. Your Dr and pharma will advise you on interactions with meds if you decide to use anti-depressants or something for the anxiety. Use their knowledge. Best of luck, keep us posted.