Ah HA !! Now the truth comes out!!

Last Sunday night, FIL asked DH how MIL was going to get to 10 Pin Bowling on Monday. DH said "I have no idea, we gave BIL 6 weeks notice to set something up, and he's done nothing, or if he has he hasn't told us as usual". One phone call later, eldest niece visiting from another town (12 hours drive south of us, so it wasn't a fleeting visit) volunteered to take MIL bowling and then to visit FIL.

Tuesday .. MIL sat at home. All day. Nobody came to take her to see FIL. FIL was sitting in his room, all day, wondering where she was and where his newspaper was.

Wednesday .. my hiding day, MIL went to Day Care. Wednesday night FIL rings me begging for someone to come and visit, and could he please have some clean Pyjamas, because he had had none since Sunday.

HOW SLACK!! Yeah OK .. BIL is off doing his nurse escort thing, but "L" who quite seriously actually spoke to me last week and said "Oh I've got nothing to do, I'm a bit lost" has had her mobile phone turned off and won't answer her house phone!

So her BLATHERING on early this year about 'helping' is further clarification of how full of CRAP she is!!

I really DO NOT understand, how people who KNOW that help is needed can turn such a blind eye. Am I really that STUPID in expecting others to realise that if a need is there it means help? That when I say I'll help, I mean I'll help, not stick my head in the sand and ignore the issues cause it's not 'pretty'?

So .. as of today .. 28th July 2005 .. there is 171 days to go ...171 days until January 15. That's my set date of getting out of this TOWN. I'm not quite sure how we'll do it yet (financially and mentally) but for my sanity, my marriage and my kids ... it WILL get done.

I am shaking my head in amazement and the blind stupidity of family members. I am now being ignored by quite a few because I tell the truth about the woman downstairs, and they don't like what they hear. They do their 5 minute visits, in which her honeymoon behaviour shines through then tell me I'm wrong. I am so so so so so SICK of being told I'm wrong all the time ...

Sorry for venting .. but If I don't do it here I'll explode.

Hugs
Sally

Dear Sally,

I fully understand your rage. They promised to look after her while you are at school, and now, this! A visitor did one of the many things she needs done for her ..and that was all. I cannot understand why BIL's girl friend doesn't at least ask "what can I do?" HE should have planned her in, especially for thsese times when he is away. She should be driving MIL around on a regular basis. Cutting herself off from phone contact is not an answer.

When BIL comes back tell hm exactly what happened or didn't happen. Not taken to see FIL two days in a row. No one made sure he had clean pyjamas. Apparently between you leaving the house and you returning, no one checked on MIL ..so who is monitoring her pills, her food, her safety? They are just letting her be alone in the house all day?

Sally - don't buckle under the pressure! Don't give up your course! Don't think "I have to do it since no one else wants to."

If it has to be, leave her alone all day and let FIL wear the same pyjamas for a few days ... it is appalling how the whole family thinks YOU ALONE have to take care of all that .. what are they thinking???

People who come in for a short visit - even 2 minutes - see that she cannot speak, she is irrational, she is odd, weird ..so I don't believe they are citicising you as much as you may think..They probaly leave with relief thinking, "Thank God Sally is taking care of her and not ME!"

Keep on your path. Jan 15 will come ..I will probably be snowed in by then under 2 feet of snow out here - and happy I don't have to go out to work ... So far I have not found any kind of PT job and am OK with it .. so far ....

Love,

Martha

I will NOT give up my course. If "L" was 'entitled' to do it, then I DEMAND equal time. If she can have 'her time', then I DEMAND equal time. The only difference between her and me is a marriage certificate. I have no claim on these in-laws ... neither does she. So I am thinking .. and this is SO against my ethics, but if I start doing 'her' behaviour (which I have started doing... although it's hard .. I am a caring person unfortunately, and can't help myself, so to say "nope" is REALLY hard for me) then they have NO RIGHT to critisize me .. because then I can, quite honestly say "I'm doing NO MORE THAN "L", what more do you want?"

Well, that's the theory anyway. FIL is a bit confused as to why I am basically ignoring him, and I don't like doing it, but, unfortunately, I have to .. I am left with no choices.

Taken lots of pain pills tonight, haven't slept properly in 4 nights, sick with this blasted cold again, and if Alan doesn't stop snoring, I'll be a widow by the end of the week .... the lounge is nice, but not for extended periods of time.

Room ... spinning ... time for ... bed .......*yawn*

Hugs
Sally
(who thanks EVERYBODY from the bottom of her heart for listening to my venting)

Hi Sally,

So what did you do on your day off??? Before FIL's call that evening, that is. Hope it was fun, idle and without accomplishment, plus delightfully sneaky!

How many pairs of PJs does FIL own? If he's out and in need of a wash load in just 2 days, he needs more! Perhaps the local thrift store has some that will do nicely after a wash. They can be donated again unless he wears them out in living past time again!

Can FIL not get a newspaper delivered there while in hospital? Why does a hospital volunteer not bring him a paper? I realize that a hand carried paper adds a visitor at the other end of the paper, but life has gotten busier. Failing that, can MIL be trusted to be ready (on her own)to go to hospital, paper in hand, and if so, arrangements be made with the taxi company to get her there and home again? It's a thought. And, of course, BIL deserves a pounding on the head for any of us even needing to think about this.

Rant as needed ( in medical terms that would be "rant prn"!!)

Does Alan have snore because of sleep apnea? That's not healthy, causing BP to soar as they gasp, snort, and start breathing again. My DH has a C-Pap machine that sends postive pressure down his throat all night while he wears a mask on his face. I know the disrupted sleep due to a partner's loud snores! My sympathies to you!!

Hope you had a good night's sleep yourself a la medicines or not. It's Friday, so plan for a toddy after everyone is home tonight!

Hugs - Barbara :)

Ahh .. on my wonderful day off I spent 3 hours with my friend, gossiping, chatting, sharing thoughts and hopes and dreams, making sure she understands that when I move, she can still be my friend .. LOL .. she's not happy about our impending move.

I then went home, had a delicious lunch ... played a game on the computer, did a load of washing, hung it out and did NOTHING until it was time to get the children from school. Actually, I left half an hour early, got a good parking spot and read my book.

T'was very peaceful!

FIL owns 4 pairs of PJ shorts (his preference) which for some strange reason, he's taking to wearing once or twice then demanding they get washed. I think (think) he might be having 'accidents'. I've been hunting the Op Shops (my favourite pastime) but summer clothing in the middle of winter is hard to find. The couple I have found haven't fitted him, been a bit too tight. I did find one pair, but had no cash on me!

He's got 3 PJ tops, which isn't too bad, because it's winter, he's alternating between winter tops and summer tops. Yes, we need more for me to keep here I think .. and if he gives washing to MIL, well, they either get put back in the bag and given back to him dirty, or they get put in the washing machine (and nothing else done) or she'll hand wash them.

Yes, the newspaper could be delivered to him ... but I can't change the address because I'm not him, and he won't change it, because he likes the visitor at the other end of the paper LOL ... you so picked the right wording Barb! I was only thinking yesterday I wonder if MIL would catch a Taxi if I organised it ... then again, would she pay them? It's a bit tricky really.

What DH and I thought of today was I will message "L" on her mobile phone TODAY (because she knows we're home and available, and therefore won't be expecting a contact to ask for help) and say "Can you do MIL Bowling on Monday and FIL visit on Tuesday please" she has the choice to say no, and if she says "no", then FINE, MIL can sit at home ~ because I asked nicely (not demanding .. BIL doesn't like it if I demand action ~ poor possum).

do I sound a bit jaded? Do I sound a bit disappointed and cranky? Yeah .. I am.. I am so TIRED of this quiet game of cat and mouse. There is no confrontations, there is no screaming matches, it's all just so quiet ....

Big Hugs
Sally

Hi Sally,

Whatever you do - and do whatever it takes - do not quit your class!!! And by all available means - by hook or by crook - do make your move in January!! Stick by your guns, we all know you can!

I was wondering if by some way, you could get ahold of some of MIL $ and pay the Taxi ahead for the bowling trip? Then she might get to go, if BIL does not do it next week! Maybe you and your dh could go and visit FIL once a week by yourselves. Yall could bring him some "new" resale shop pjs! After all, he is your dhs dad - unless I missed something in earlier months?! Just some thoughts.

It sounds like you had a real nice, quiet day off. I hope you manage to get more. You need them for your sanity. When you are feeling better, it makes your whole family feel good too!

Stick with it! I know you can do everything you need and want to!

Take care. Wannabe

Sally, deep breaths, dear, deep breaths. BIL and L are just self centered @$$holes who could give a hoot about if their inaction causes any stress to you and your family. Therefore your anger, although justified, isn't helping. I sense that you're near the boiling point. When does BIL return? Is it possible that he discussed this with L and she has taken it upon herself to ignore all requests? Talk to BIL about your concerns when he returns. If you feel that you may explode if you confronted him face to face, write another letter. This is not a healthy situation for you and I suspect that's why you keep getting sick.

Meanwhile, phone the paper and tell them FIL no longer lives there and if they can't stop the paper, could they please deliver it to him at the hospital. Telling them that no one will be paying for it usually gets them to stop.

Keep saying no, girl. Don't give in to the in-laws. That's what they think you'll do. That's why they keep acting this way. Stick to your guns and dig those heels in! Don't let those @$$holes get to you! Go on with your life and if a crisis (meaning no clean pj's or any other petty stuff) comes up:

"Sorry, can't do it just now. Ring BIL and L. Tell them what you need. I'm sure they'll take care of it for you."

Hugs to you, my dear friend.

Love, Barb

Paper has been paid for in advance. Although I am thinking I might get DH to ring and say he's his father .. they just need to hear a male voice *I think* ... deception, deception, deception .. ai yi yi .. I'm gonna go to hell in a bucket for all the lies and deception I've been doing .. I can just tell ! LOL

Maybe I'll get a comfy hot room cause it was enforced? LOL

I have spoken to BIL about "L"'s offerings to help and her inability to actually DO anything .. and he has said "Ahh she's a gentle fragile soul, she shouldn't have to do it if she doesn't want to" .. And I've said "yeah .. but SHE OFFERED, " and then he replies "oh well ~ she's changed her mind ~ she's allowed to" .. apparently in her gentle fragile state, she's allowed to make promises and break them ... poor little poppet isn't she?

My anger is tantamount to Mt. Etna .... I am just so FED UP! I did talk to FIL's sister last night, and she is supporting us 100% which is fantastic. She knows we're doing our best under awkward circumstances, and thinks the immediate family are being self centred leeches who are sucking us dry whilst critisizing our endeavours to keep things even .... I like her ... A LOT! LOL

When FIL asked the other day for clean stuff, I did say to him "You know, you could always ring "L" or BIL for these things" and he said "I've tried, but her phone is turned off and she's never home" ... which shows me she's ignoring everything and everybody and probably hiding at her friends house each and every day.

What a sad way to live ... perpetual hiding .... no wonder she's paranoid and fragile, she brings these things on to herself.

When is BIL home? Who knows. If he has work, he'll keep working. When it fizzles out, he'll come home. If his other job looks like picking up, he'll come home, otherwise, he'll keep earning money.

Wish I could run away from my responsibilities whenever the whim overcame me .. oh yeah .. I am .. by January 15!!

I told Aunty P (FIL's sister) about our 'due date' and she thinks it's a great idea. She'll fully support us, and stand up for us when the flack hits.

And yeah . . . with everything I've got on my plate at the moment, it's no wonder I can't shake this cold --- New Course, Study, Homework, housework, 3 kids, husband, shopping, cooking, laundry AND taking FIL out for day trips and dragging MIL to see FIL 4 days a week and taking her shopping at her whim ... but apparently that's STILL not enough to keep some people happy.

Sorry I'm sounding so miserable, I'm not really, I'm in quite a good mood, but I am just increasingly frustrated at this blasted 'family' I've admired for years. When the chips are down, they are NOT a supportive group like I thought they were. I guess I'm disappointed, I thought they were better than this.

Accepting hugs
and giving hugs back
Sally

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((sa lly))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) )))))))))))))))

If no one can help you (how fragile must L be to not be able to carry a freaking newspaper and pj's to an old man in the hospital???), then perhaps it's time to talk about hiring someone to get MIL to and fro, like Martha did with her mother? If BIL thinks money would come out of his future inheritance, maybe he'd change his tune? Or perhaps it's time to talk to FIL again. Tell him you wish you could do it all but you can't. And you need more help from BIL. I wish I had an answer that would solve all yoiur problems there. But to tell you the truth (and as you know), if I had the answer to what to do to get lazy family to pitch in, I wouldn't have the problems I have with my family. SHEEEESH!!!!

Yes, I like Aunty P too. She's a smart cookie. :) I'm glad to hear you've got someone in your corner (besides us, that is!).

Now about the lies and deceptions-the man upstairs understands. You'll get a beautiful fluffy cloud to sleep on up there. There's a special place up there for all of us who care for the elderly. And we'll meet up there. I'll wave to you from my cloud, ok? :D

Love, Barb

"L" actually told me herself, hmm .. late last year that it upsets her seeing FIL with his oxygen tube (awwww) and that she's never known MIL as 'normal', and finds it difficult to have a conversation with her, so therefore <<shrug>> why try? Of course, she'll turn up for the odd duty visit once a month 'ish, IF that with BIL, and if she's specifically requested, she'll come over, but there's no volunteering. Nope, none of that.

Have a conversation with MIL? Difficult? Can't think why .... what's wrong with talking to 'blather blather bling bling' ? Hell, smile at the lady, it'll make her day, oh but that UPSETS "L".

Poor "L". Full of patience, hugs and tolerance when around the family. Lacking in any substance when away from family. Fake, pseudo caring I'm calling it now. She pretends she cares, but that's what it is. pretending.

Of course, there's alot more to the story .. which I won't go into here (just makes me sound like a bitter, twisted vindictive sister-in-law) ... but she's sticking around and it ain't for love. (Insert $ signs here) I am sure.

OK Bosmom Barb ... I'll wave to you from my cloud, hope there's a bottle of scotch too! haha

Hugs
Sally

Anything else you wish for? I shall put in requests. One bottle of the finest scotch coming up! :)

Love, Barb

Hi Sally,

How was school today? What was the lesson du jour? Do you find yourself wondering just what L was thinking as the teachers were going over this lesson when she was in class? Did she imagine she'd float serenely over all of the less than fun and delightful duties that are part and parcel of the job??????? How you must laugh up your sleeve at the absurdity of L!!

How did MIL do in everyone's absence? How did FIL do? Is he coming to realize that things are changing whether he likes it or not?

Wishing you much success and satisfaction as you learn for credit what you've learned from necessity. Think I'll look and see if I can find some rental property in your neck of the woods!

Many hugs - Barbara :)

Class was good fun today. It was all hands on practical stuff. How to move patients around with machinery (I got a ride!!) in and out of beds, how not to cause skin tears, easy way, hard way ... the day went so fast!!!

This morning, MIL ducks upstairs at 8am .. she's motioning she wants to go out.

"Bowling?" I ask

"yes!!" She says

I report back to her it's only 8AM and bowling isnt until 9.30PM and L is coming to get her (cause we haven't heard any different)

And .. at 8.30 .. we head off .. dropping kids at School and getting me and Alan to College. (called TAFE here)

at 2.55pm, I get an early mark .. WOO HOO .. I can grab the car, bolt to school, pick up Brianna, drop her at Tennis, where Tamea will meet us. Cameron can catch the bus home, and Alan and I MIGHT actually get some 'catch up' time together.

cool .. I get to the car ..only to find..............Alan already there. (Damn, I don't get to drive home .. blast ! LOL) I say "Early mark?" and he say's "No, Dad rang"

We find out .. VOILA .. FIL has a nursing home bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .. and he's being moved TOMORROW and he's not happy, cause it's not the nursing home he wants, but bad luck, its the only one available, and ....... oh well ........ he wants us to come and try and do something. Not sure what, we can't fight city hall on THIS one (nor do we want to!!), but ok .. we'll drop in and do our bit.

We go, and pick up Brianna, drop her at Tennis. Meet Tamea (we haven't seen her since Friday morning, she's been at a friends place all weekend) and on the way to visit FIL, my phone get's woken up (it's turned off when I'm at college) and I find 12 missed calls and 6 messages.

Hmmmmmmmmm........I was popular today eh?

5 calls are from FIL, the rest are from 'unknown' numbers. All 6 messages are callbacks from missed calls. Weird ...

I message FIL saying "We'll be there in 5 minutes) when my poor phone goes of again ................. I look at the number and VOILA .. it's the Public Hospital. I answer it. They ask if I'm Sally (yes) and they got my number from the pharmacy (oh?) and by the way, they have MIL there (bloody hell for how long?) since .. hmm .. .just before lunchtime.

WHAT THE ???

Ok .. now I do the logistics .. if L picked her up at 9am and took her bowling, that finishes at 11am. If she took her to see FIL, that's 11.10 to 11.30 MINIMUM .. if she turned up at LUNCHTIME ...the times don't match

Ok .. few more questions .. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

MIL turned up at the pharmacy. They in turn took her to our doctor (next door) .. he in turn took one look at her, gave her a cup of tea and called an ambulance.

What time did the doctors surgery start contacting me?

10.34am

That means ..........................

L DIDN'T EVEN TRY AND TAKE DORIS TO 10 PIN BOWLING

L DIDN'T EVEN TRY AND TAKE DORIS TO SEE JOHN

L DIDN'T DO NOTHING

My temperature hit HIGH and my mood hit higher ............

It appears to be:

We left home at 8.20am

At 10am 'ish .. MIL went walkies. She ended up at the pharmacy where she was leaning extremely LEFT and having trouble walking. Obviously she can't communicate, they took her next door to the doctor. He took one look, said "hospital" and they rang the ambulance. they rang ME at 10.34am. The hospital wrote her time of admission at just before midday (the hospital is only 10 minutes away).

MIL was complaining of a sore knee.

I find that hard to believe her Hip .. maybe .. knee? Not a hope unless something happened to her after we left.

She romped up the stairs at 8am FINE .. quite with it and coping, 'cept for the time discrepancy .... she was bright, bubbly and happy.

What went wrong?

THEORY: Nobody came to take her bowling, so she tried to take herself. couldn't figure out a bus, ended up at the pharmacy (Big bus stop next to them)

I am SO ANGRY with L. I asked her (via message on phone) and was ignored (as usual, been told to expect no answer = fine) once again, I shouldn't have ASSUMED

Tonight, MIL .. she had put herself to bed by 8pm .. we heard a crash and went flying downstairs, to find she had collapsed OFF THE BED at 8.15pm.

But of course, in the world according to everybody else, she's going to be FINE living on her own ........... yeah .. right.

By the way, I let FIL have it ... I ranted and raved about BIL's 2005 behaviour towards ME, his abuse, his accusations, the LIES from his girlfriend "L" (because that's what it is, all lies) I told him I've had enough, I'm not going to be abused anymore, I'm beyond angry, I deserve better ..

..... and he didn't bring up the 'wrong' nursing home topic once ... LOL .. he wasn't BRAVE enough !!

BIL is going to help FIL move today (good for him eh?) and he's going to pop in and see MIL (bless his cotton polyester socks .. ) he's very quiet, a bit subdued, and I have a feeling FIL may have said something to him about how angry and let down I am, because FIL has tried for 8 days to contact L, and she hasn't answered her mobile or land line phones 'cept when BIL (Lover boy) rings .... FIL noticed it, I confirmed it so she's just PROVEN that she DOESN'T want to help at all .. so anymore BLEATING from her is just that .. bleating and BIL CANNOT argue.

UGH grrr ... It's 6.27am .. I've been awake since 4am .. can't sleep .. too worried about MIL downstairs and too angry to rest ....

School in 2 hours .. *yawn* Oh and those 'unknown' missed calls? They were from the chemist and the doctors surgery trying to track me down to update me about MIL .... My phone will be left ON from now on .. and I'll have to warn my teachers *sigh*

Hugs all
Sally

L is a lazy pig and BIL is a selfish JERK! Feel better? :D

I'm GLAD you told FIL what's going on. You needed to get that off your chest and he needed to hear how his dear son and his dear son's significal "queazy" other are treating his mother! Never mind how he's treating you (what an @$$!), but his mother! The woman gave birth to him and this is how he treats her? I"M PI$$ED NOW! I'm sorry but your BIL and Miss Priss make Martha's Moo Moo look like a patron saint!

Btw, sometimes it's a good thing to turn off your cell phone. Or check the caller ID before answering. I can't see mine and I'm too stubborn to admit I need glasses (oops, I guess I just did!).

Now, when you're done with dinner tonight, go into the bathroom with a glass of wine, soothing music and some candles. Sit in a nice warm bubble bath, close your eyes and your mind and relax. RELAX! Throw those negative tapes (heard that on tv today) out of your head. Replace them with tapes that repeat only positive things (i.e. your move!).

But before you do, instruct everyone that you're not to be disturbed unless someone has croaked. Even then, it can wait...lol

Sally, don't allow them to do this to you again. Don't let them get to you. You've had more than your fair share of caring for MIL and FIL. It's THEIR turn. If it puts a cramp in BIL and MISS PRISS'S lifestyle, then so be it! They're learning now that you're not going to back down. That's a tough pill for them to swallow. Oh well. If they can't swallow it, hand them a glass of water and hope they don't choke. They won't. They'll act like they will but they won't.

You're doing GREAT, Sally! You might not think so but you ARE! I'm SOOO PROUD of you for sticking up for yourself and doing what you want to do for yourself.

Love, Barb

I agree with Barb 100%

Love,

Martha

Hi Sally,

Me #3!!! Honestly, I hope FIL gives BIL an earfull at moving time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's time for BIL to wake up and smell the coffee!

L is in the dog house!! It's about time for that, too!!

How is MIL after her walkies and hospital adventure? After her early bedtime, did she sleep the night? Hope so!

Hugs - Barbara :)

OK .. Today's update: (Sometimes this is better than Bold & the Beautiful)

I checked on MIL this morning at 8am, and she was still in bed. She was 'yammering on' in her language, and I actually translated to "you tucked me in too tight and I can't move" .. so I loosened her off and she got up ! Whoops !!! (Nobody's gonna fall outta bed on MY shifts!!) Then we dropped the kids at school and Alan and I went to College today. We left at 8.20am. Didn't hear a thing. I left my phone on, warned the teacher (who was VERY understanding when I gave her the Reader's Digest version of yesterday's fiasco). At lunchtime, I rang FIL and yes, BIL had helped move him, and no, he hated it, and yes, he was in a private room, and he hated it, it's too small, and he needs a TV, and ... WHINGE ... WHINGE .... WHINGE ..... and I said "Oh well, gotta go, see you this arvo" .. and continued my studies (Anatomy and Physiology ALL day ... a good subject on 4 hours sleep LOL) I finished at 3pm, Alan finished at 3.45 (I got some homework done sitting in the car!!) and we wandered home (to get the 3rd TV we have upstairs .. LOL) .. When we got home, I madly cooked dinner (Lasagne) put Cameron in charge of mashed potato, got the TV in the car, and headed off (shhhh .. with a beer) to the nursing home. 1/2 way there the phone rang .. it's FIL (surprise surprise) .... we FINALLY got to the nursing home, only to find BIL right behind us! But .................. he's spent ALL day roaming backwards and forwards between his parents ............ what an interesting twist!

So we get into the complex, find FIL's little room (he wasn't fibbing, it's tiny) eventually got the TV working, gave him his beer (it's the Salvation Army, they hate alcohol) BIL was laughing with us, chuckling with us, being NICE, polite, helpful ...

Total change - around .... we spent 1 1/4 hours with FIL .. all getting on quite well (with me turning into a nervous wreck every time the door opened, because FIL can be chucked out if found drinking booze ..although because the doctor said AGES ago in FIL's charts he can have a drink of wine with dinner, he's allowed to have that Go figure) and BIL being helpful, cracking jokes.. being his OLD self ....

Then there was a comment between FIL and BIL ....... FIL said "You better go home and make yourself known" and BIL said "YEAH WELL, THAT MIGHT BE A WHILE" and Alan and I just looked at each other and said nothing. Next thing BIL says "I might find a Caravan to live in"

Caravan? Where's SHE going (L). SHE won't live in a caravan ..

Don't tell me they've had a falling out ................... can't think WHY ((innocent look) I would have liked to have been a fly on the wall at THEIR house last night ... and BIL also noted that when he did 'duck home' today, he didn't know where she was.

Didn't know where she was? OH !!!!!

Anyway, MIL seems alot better today for her adventures today. She came upstairs (while I was doing homework in the car) and Brianna rang to tell me "Nanna is upstairs looking for you and won't believe me your not home" .. so she managed to walk upstairs ..

I THINK: (but then what would I know) that she had a massive TIA .. but I'll just shut up.

At least BIL did his duty today. He helped move FIL, he looked after MIL, he finally took MIL to see FIL this afternoon in his new room ... he was USEFUL ....

I would LOVE to know what FIL said to him .. because today's behaviour is exactly OPPOSITE of yesterdays.

Anyway ........

Can't have a bath .. our bathroom holds 1 toilet, 1 shower and 1 handbasin. There is enough room for a small bin .. there is no more room for anything else. I LIVE AND BREATH to have a bath .. *sigh* .. I miss my baths ....

but Alan did buy me a BIG bottle of scotch today ..and I'm enjoying my THIRD ...

Now I get to ring the NICE family members to let them know FIL is in a nursing home.

Yay .. maybe some peace tonight.

Hugs to you all .. and thanks for your support .. you guys really are my rock(s).

Sally

Dear Sally,

A small room in a nice place is better than a big room where he will be mistreated. I think highly of the Salvation Army, and I hope they will take really good care of him. SOOO ...... it's one down and one to go! Now you have to get MIL placed somewhere where HER safety is insured.

Many small strokes are known to be a foreruunner of one massive stroke, which can end her life (such as it is) so I would feel happier if she were in a supervised situation all day long.

NOT suggesting that you are the 24 hour person!! You are doing the right thing by getting the education you need to have a better career .. more power to you!

Perhaps BILand his lady love have really broken up. It is possible he was fed up with her promises to help out and then not doing anything or even accepting calls. If she really cared about him she would help his mother! This may have been a wake up call to him, to find out how she really is.

I wish you luck in getting the other patient in your life placed .. I hope the whole family will continue to put the necessary pressure on the people blocking this (BIL) ..

Love,

Martha

Nope .. apparently she was playing the 'caring' role this morning, and helped BIL move FIL to the nursing home

how do i know?

I have my spy's LOL

She's a pathetic waste of space ... that's the only thing holding me together.

Hugs
& Thanks :-)
Sally

From my far off point of view: L only does anything when BIL is around, TO IMPRESS HIM with her kind, caring nature. When he is away, she doesn't give a hoot. It may have shocked her to find that other people were annoyed and told BIL how they felt. Maybe next time she will do a LITTLE more, so she has something to tell him "well, I did bring him one newspaper"...

Hope your school day is just great!

One day not too far off you will be an RN, Nurse Sally!

Love,

Martha

hehehe...L sounds much like my sister....willing to do things only to impress the person she needs to at that particular time. In other words, if she needs a place to stay, she'll do whatever she needs to in order to make herself look good to BIL. One snafoo-she didn't expect anyone would talk about it. hehehe! She was W-R-O-N-G!!!! :D

Love, Barb

Hi all -

Aren't some people just amazing??????????? How do they manage to stay so immature after living for so many years? I have to agree that L's little apple cart may have gotten overturned with her see-how-sweet-I-am vs. don't-see-and-I'm-hiding now out in the daylight for all to see.

Hey, Barb, BTW, "snafoo" is really spelled "snafu" as it's an old Army term for "Situation Normal, All F***ed Up"!!!!!!!! Our predecessors used colorful language, too!! Here ends the history lesson. Now you can say with assurance that Sally's situation and yours are most definitely a snafu!!!

Keep laughing! :dizzy: It's a good defense!

Hugs - Barbara :)

Hi Barbara! I had heard that before but I had a "brain snafu" this morning. :) My son is in the Marine Corps. JROTC program at school and dad is a WWII veteran. He fought in the Battle of the Bulge. He was stationed in Lyon, France for a time and was in Berlin when the Russians came. He said the US army arrived in Berlin 7 days before the Russians. They were told to wait for the Russians to arrive. So they just hung out in Berlin for a week waiting for them.

Speaking of stupid things and stupid people (my R and Sally's L), I went swimming today and got another horrible sunburn! :o I just shed the peeling skin from the last one a few days ago. I'm going to have to stay out of the sun. It's obvious now that for whatever reason, sunblock no longer works well for me. OUCH!!!!

Love, Barb