I empathise with you. I too have flat ironed or curled my hair DAILY for years. Not anymore, I found a good website about how to grow African American hair longer. It has helped me tremendously to understand why my hair wasn't prospering.
I have breakage, split ends, frizz, uneven hair, you name it, I have it. I put down that flat-iron 3 days ago and have bought myself some pretty good products. ProfectIv for anti-breakage, Doo Gro anti-thining, Olive Oil lotion for moisture, Porosity Conditioner for pre-conditioning, Orgainic Stimulator Root Shampoo(already had), Suave conditioner(already had) Cholesterol deep conditiong(already had)Loreal anti-frizz creme. Just to name a few. I have washed my hair 3 times this week, and used no heat! I roll my hair every night and wrap a satin scarf, and I have seen good results! I am much happier, I was going into a depression because my hair was a mess! I wouldn't recommend you to use heat despite all of the products they have to put on hair before heating! No way. I use rollers along with those products I have mentioned and my hair is soft. I don't know what type of hair I have, whether it's 4a/b or whatever they use to determine the texture. I know that it's not nappy and it's not the finest. It's a little in between. By they way does anyone know how to tell the hair texture?
I also went and bought an organic multi-vitamin/minerals last night. I bought it for two reasons to grow longer healthier hair and because of my poor diet(I also have digestive issues "IBS"). I think healthier longer hair starts from within. You are what you eat!
Good luck and happy growing longer healthier hair!