i'm so depressed. i was diagnosed with HPV last year and my latest pap indicates an abnormality which he says might be Cancer. how am i supposed to be normal for the next few weeks to await the final hearing, let alone if i am diagnosed, what is the treatment process like? this is horryfying. whats worse is i can't tell anyone about this

((hugs)) first of all, take a deep breath. It's okay to feel scared and confused and all the emotions you are feeling right now. But, take a breath and transfer all that energy into a search for knowledge about cervical dysplasia and cervical cancer. You have taken the first step by posting on this board. If you get a chance, go through the archives, you will find lots of really good positive stories on here from lots of women who have gone through this. I, myself, had Stage 1a1, the earliest form of invasive cervical cancer there is. And I am considered "cured".

First things first. Get a copy of your pap report. The terminology in the report will help you to find the information you need. You may see the terms dysplasia and/or CIN, along with a rating, like mild (1), moderate (2), or severe (3). Have you gone for or are you booked for a colposcopy where they can take a biopsy to determine the extent of the cell changes?

Second, it's okay to talk about this. I know it is devastating to learn this is caused by HPV, but I think it's our duty to educate those around us about this virus and take some of the stigma surrounding it away. Is there a reason you can't tell anyone about this, other than the fact it is caused by HPV? I don't pretend to know your situation at all, these are just questions you need to ask yourself. If you can't talk to anyone close to you, perhaps you could talk to a counselor?

Third, there are several different treatment options, depending on what level of dysplasia you have or if it is indeed cancer (which is actually very rare, but doesn't help much when you're waiting to find out, I know). I was treated with the LEEP procedure. Others here have had a cone biopsy (for severe cell changes), laser (moderate/severe), cryotherapy (mild/moderate) and LEEP (usu. severe).

If you are that nervous about waiting for the results, it might be worth it to book in to see your doctor again and tell him your fears and concerns. Have him explain the different treatment options that might be explored.

I hope you get your answers soon.

Karen

thank you karen for responding. i don't want to tell anyone because of the HPV. esp. my parents, i don't want them to think so low of me.
i have an appointment to get the colposcopy done in a few days. in terms of the treatment, if it is indeed cervical cancer, i'm young and very much want children, so i know there are specific treatments for people who want children one day. this is so scary. also, are these treatments expensive? around how much are they? this is another scary thing, as i'm not insured. how long does it take to resume or feel normal after treatment??????

Dreamer - your colposcopy appointment may help to give you some more information regarding how severe the cell changes are. the doctor can usually give an educated guess as to the severity. He will take one or more biopsies, which feel like little pinches, to assess the tissue. Once those results come in then a treatment will be decided upon. I honestly have no idea how much the procedures cost, I live in Canada with it's universal health care system, price is something I'm lucky to not have to worry about.

I too, felt like I couldn't really tell my parents what was going on with me (and I'm 32!), but I finally bit the bullet and said, you know what, it's caused by a virus, and it's a common virus that many people have at some point in their lives been exposed to. It's only us unfortunate few that have it appear in the form of cervical cell changes, and even then, not everyone who ever has cervical dysplasia (precancerous changes) will have it progress to the point that it turns into cancer. Only a small percentage actually progresses to the cancerous stage. Your immune system plays a big role in the progression of the virus. Make sure you're eating right, that you're getting enough sleep (and not stressing out to much - haha, yeah right! we all say that, but who really accomplishes it!), and if you smoke, quit. Smoking is a big factor in the progression of the virus as well. I will keep you in my thoughts, Dreamer. I hope your colposcopy gives you some answers and some peace of mind.

Karen

I just wanted to say that I am waiting another 5 weeks of the 6 for my pap results as well. I also have HPV and lesions on my cervix. Good Luck and please let us know what happens.

Jodi

dreamer when you were diagnosed last year you did not got a colposcopy then? Did your pap was normal last year?

i did and it wasn't bad at the time, i just had gw on my cervix. but its gotten worse. i used to smoke, so obviously that didn't help. whats weird is i quit back in feb. and it got worse. taking birth control pills doesn't help? my doctor said it shouldn't effect hpv, but i'm starting to think my doctor is an idiot who doesn't give a ****.

No one has gotten back to me on how much procedures, such as LEEP cost? also, you can't have sex for at least a month? i'm curious to know how long it takes to recover from such major, yet minor, procedures like that. is LEEP the safest thing to do if you want kids one day? this is torture. i guess all i can hope for is that its not Cancer. but why would my doctor even suggest that. he said the pap results looked bad and were far worse :(

I had LEEP done this past Monday on 8/1 as for the pain - it didn't hurt at all - the colposcopy and biopsy was much more painful, in fact the worse part now is waiting for the results from my LEEP biopsy. I had CIN III from the biopsy of the colposcopy. I don't understand how this happened because I was on a six month pap schedule due to CIN 1 back in 9/02, this was to be my last pap before going back onto a yearly pap schedule - all paps for the last two years were normal and now bang CIN III The doctor only saw a cerivcal polyp which he said were typically benign, well not mine - I am so worried because he thought it was nothing I am just praying everything was removed with the LEEP. Should know by Monday. Also since my LEEP I have been having strange pains in my pelvic region and a lot of gas- I am thinking it is anxiety, so when I try to relax I feel better. My heart goes out to anyone going through this - I know they say annual paps can prevent it from becoming cervical cancer but I was having 6 mnth paps and got CIN 111 (as a cavaet I am not smoking married female with an 8 month child, also HPV for high risk variant such as HPV 16 and 18 although I do not know the exact strain of HPV I have) does anyone know the exact strain or do they just catagorize you are high risk strains?

Forgot to mention the doctor says LEEP will not affect fertility if I get pregnant again I will have weekly visits throughout the pregnanacy to keep check on the cervix.

kscb30 - so sorry that your paps missed this developing - I hope the LEEP was successful in removing all the cells. Hopefully you will get your results soon, as the waiting is killer, I know. Just have a question about the polyp? Was it the polyp that came back as CIN 3? Just wondering cause I had my second follow up after LEEP come back CIN 2, she removed a polyp but did not send it for biopsy, and couldn't find anything else on colpo to suggest why the pap came back with high grade changes. I am somewhat nervous about that....at least if there was some kind of explanation for the pap reading I think I would feel better about it. I do not know what type of HPV I have (you have to pay extra for the test here in Canada, and I was told to just assume it was high risk, as my dysplasia turned out to actually be cancer). I'm not sure if they will tell you the exact number you have, maybe just generally high risk or low risk type?

Again, I hope your LEEP was successful and you get your results soon.

Dreamer, I remember Lobo posting a while back about the cost of her LEEP/laser, perhaps she will chime in with some numbers for you?

Take care, everyone.
Karen

The poylp was all he found on the colpo so that is all he sent away for pathology he also did a scrape and all those cells came back fine.
My doc was actaully surpised that the polyp came back High Grade Cin 111, (my PAP actaully read ASCUS Cannot rule out High Grade, which is why he proceeded with the colpo) in my mind this is good and bad - good because the scrape came back clean and bad because of the rarity of a poylp being anything.
You said your results came back as cancer - do you mean pre cancer or carcinoma in situ?
My doctor is very precautious and I am really thankful now he sent the polyp out.
Honestly I am sick whenever I think about the unknown - I can't wait for the results. So I can move forward. I have been obsessed with reading as much as I can and even went so far as to read the Cancer Survivor Stories on the Cervical Cancer Web Page, This board however has been the most helpful because I am seeing more and more good stories and many similar stories as mine - for instance you are the first person I have heard of with an abnormal pap and a polyp. I would inquire about it with your doctor especially since it was not sent for biopsy -
I will let you know how mine came back so it may help you decide how to approach your case.
Thanks for the quick reply

Ooooh, I am going to have a good conversation with the gynecologist oncologist at my upcoming appointment! Last summer I had a LEEP for what was thought to be pre-cancerous cells. I was one of the 1 or 2% where the LEEP biopsy actually showed that it was cancer, a 2mm invasion, Stage 1a1. (Before you get too freaked out though, I have only ever come across 2 people that had their LEEP/cone biopsy come back showing cancer instead of what was thought to be pre-cancer...). One more millimeter and I would have been faced with radical hysterectomy with lymph node dissection. As it stands, my gynecologist at the time said, clear margins, you're cured, come back in three months. I have since changed gyno's and she is the one who did not send the polyp to pathology. I asked her about the polyp at my last appointment with her, and she said "when did I remove it, when I did your pap?" I said no that she removed it with the colpo and she said, "oh, I...ah...put it in with the ECC" only you would think that the ECC would have stated there was a polyp in there, you know what I mean? Anyway, I am not satisfied with the "care" I am receiving and I went ahead and emailed a gyn-onc and she has agreed to meet with me in two weeks to discuss my case. I will be sure to bring up the question about the polyp! Thanks for getting back to me about this.

Karen

Karen,
I am very interested in your case because you are the only person I have heard of with the bad pap and polyp.
When you say you had the LEEP done last summer - was that your first bad pap ever? Had you had CIN 1 or LGSIL previously? How often had you gotten pap smears prior to last summer? It sounds like they only did a LEEP to take care of the cancer that is reassurring. How old are you? Are you considering a hysterectomy or has it been suggested?
Of course I am freaked hearing you were the 1-2% that comes back with cancer. I am 32 and we just had our first baby and were looking forward to having more, in fact that is the worse part of waiting is that I know there is that slight chance things could be worse than they think.
Did you have any symptoms at all last summer? Any symptoms with the polyp? My only symptom was that after the pap smear I starting bleeding and it didn't stop until the doctor removed the poylp during the colpo.
I really pray your appt. goes well - two weeks is going to seems like a long time, but you have been through the waiting before so I am sure you know how bad it is.

Yep, first bad pap ever. The pap was done in Feb 2004 - 14 months after my previous pap. I went faithfully. Even phoned a doc I saw when I lived in another province and confirmed my 2000 pap was normal. Yep. I had the colpo at the beginning of June (it was scheduled for beginning of May, but I rescheduled because my husband was away - more on that later). One week later, I was having a LEEP. Gyne was confident it was CIN 3, biopsies he took showed CIN 3. Got the call a week after LEEP was done that there was cancer. He was shocked, I was numb - trying to listen to him on the phone with my 1 and 2 year olds screaming at me for attention. My first follow up came back clear (3 months after the LEEP). I was told to come back in six months time. My six month pap is the one that came back CIN 2. I found out about it the day before my husband left again for the summer. Waiting for results sucks, but it sucks even more when you wait for results and the doc office can't even be bothered to phone you with them. I had to go in and request copies of my reports just to even find out the recommendations for follow up!

Hysterectomy has been dangled in my face on two occasions (usually when the exam is occuring), it is something I WANT (as we are finished having children, and my husband is away for four months EVERY summer), and then it is taken away and I am told it is "too radical" (because reports come back saying "normal"). I do not trust pap smears. Hence, my going to see the gyn-onc for another opinion. I am 32. Our kids are 4 and turning 3 (15 months apart). My husband left on April 30, was supposed to be home on July 30, then that got moved to tomorrow and now he just phoned and said they have been extended again and he doesn't know for sure when he will be home. For sure on Tuesday, though. He was gone last summer when I got the call about the cancer - he was not home until 2.5 months after that phone call. My summer would be so much easier if it was just a matter of concentrating on my kids, not throwing all this crap into the mix. I am sure you can understand ;)

Anyway, sorry for unloading...

Karen

I felt the same way you do. Very scared and confused. Especially since I was only 18 and the doctors kept going, "you're too young for this.." I had been going to Planned Parenthood because I did not have insurance (They did it for free). They did a pap, found it abnormal so then they did a colposcopy. She told me it was mild and said that I might in the future, need a procedure done to remove it but she didn't think so anytime soon. About a month later, I had gotten health insurance through work and started going back to my regular Gyn. The first time she did a pap, she asked if I had a colpo done and I told her about PP and such. Turns out, the doc at Planned Parenthood diagnosed me wrong and I had medium to high results, not mild. She got me in a week later to get my LEEP done (Usually you can't get an appt until 2 months later)... They take you into a room, dope you up (they almost got worried with me, I started getting extremely pale and I actually almost passed out- family history of negative reactions with stuff like that)... and they cut it out. Can't feel a thing. It's very easy to get an infection so you have to be real careful. Still have to go back for a check-up to make sure they got it all (but of course, no insurance again..)

Karen,
In light of your situation I don't think a hysterectomy is too radical in fact my husband and I both agreed if we are lucky enough to have another child I will have one after that. There is just too much of a risk associated with trusting a pap smear. Not only that, clearly whatever strain of the virus we have it is one that progresses much more quickly than the 10-15 years I have been reading about. So why play Russian Roulette with pap smears and colpos and possibly miss something serious.
I really feel badly that you had to go through all of it alone. My husband although cannot offer me 100% assurance it is just nice to have him there when I am scared or worried about the results.
Monday should be the day I hear back I think I will call them first thing in the morning. Fortunately the staff at my Ob/gyn is wonderful and reassuring. I swear if I had known anything about this horrible disease prior to getting it I would have been much more careful in the past and would have insisted my husband be tested if there is a way to test for it in men.
I also cannot figure out why in some people their immune system will rid itself of the disease and in other cases it lingers. I am convinced it is stress related as the first signs of a bad pap smear came one month before my wedding. I was under a lot of stress then and now with this bad pap I am under stress with work and a new baby who isn't too fond of sleeping - I think the lack of sleep and stress have taken its toll. I have been researching some vitamin therapies and other drugs and I am thinking about taking some additional vitamins in hopes I can get rid of this once and for all. Anyhow if you want to email me separately my email address is [ please read and follow the posting rules - no emails ] I understand now scary this is and being alone through it all is horrible.
Katina






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Pursephone,
What were the results from your LEEP biopsy?

My laser and leep was $850 dr fees, $5900 hospital fees, $330 anesthesia and $310 pathology report/reading fees. This is in Miami, not even the most expensive area as compared to places like NYC! My insurance covered almost all of it though, no problem.