Hi I just found this site today and read some posts and thought id sign up for some support from those who have gone through the same as I am now,

My mam was diagnosed with ovarian cancer 2 years ago come november, she had a full Hysterectomy then chemotherapy however the cancer had spread to her bowel so they proceeded with more chemo this made her so sick and got rid of the cancer for a couple of months but then it came bk this year with vengence and she is in hospital now having had many blood transfusions and more fluid drained from her abdomen,
She is really sick now and so wont be having anymore chemo as its nearly killed her on its own, the macmillan nurse told me the other day we are looking at weeks/months, Im very affraid and dont know what to expect or what to do, I feel very very helpless, she can hardly eat and hasnt for days and is being very sick, she is not well enough to come home and Im affraid she wont get home,
I want to spend as much time with her but feel selfish for leaving her there to work or come home as she is alone and not married so when she is gone I will be alone in a way also, i feel bad for hating being in the hospital when I am cos I can do nothing for her. Im affraid I wont ask her things I need to know yet I cant think of a single thing and so on,
my brother suffers depression so finds it hard to leave the house and i feel so useless, I just want her in her home and of course well, I have a 12 year old daughter who adores her nan and im dealing (or not dealing) with that also, my husband is so supportive I couldnt do this without him im sure,

I hope some of you may be able to offer some advise as ive no idea what im doing,
kind regards freybee76

i am so sorry to hear what you are going through. i have lost both of my parents to cancer i was 7 when my mother pasted and 21 when my father pasted. It was hard growing up with out my mother, when my father pasted i was pregnant with my daughter it was really a hard time for me when the told us he had cancer i was 6months they only gave him 3months to live my daughter was born the week after he pasted. I asked God to help me and he did if it wasn't for God i don't think i could have handled it but i thank God every day for the time we had. I am 28 now and it is still now easier but with God i can move on with my life. I just found out the i have early stage cervical cancer. All i can do is pray that everything will work out in God plan.

Keep up your sprits. Ask God for help and he will provide. He will not give you more than you can handle.

My mam was diagnosed with ovarian cancer 2 years ago come november, she had a full Hysterectomy then chemotherapy however the cancer had spread to her bowel so they proceeded with more chemo this made her so sick and got rid of the cancer for a couple of months but then it came bk this year with vengence and she is in hospital now having had many blood transfusions and more fluid drained from her abdomen.

My mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at around the same time, chica, but I've been more fortunate and she is doing well post-surgery + chemotherapy. I know what you're going through and my heart breaks for you. It's so difficult.


She is really sick now and so wont be having anymore chemo as its nearly killed her on its own, the macmillan nurse told me the other day we are looking at weeks/months, Im very affraid and dont know what to expect or what to do, I feel very very helpless, she can hardly eat and hasnt for days and is being very sick, she is not well enough to come home and Im affraid she wont get home.

I think you need someone to help you manage her care and make decisions that will help her be the most comfortable. If she is in the hospital, ask for an appointment with the hospital social worker or a counselor. You might also ask for a consultation with Hospice, to see if her care can be managed so that she can come home. Ask her doctor about palliative care - that means making her more comfortable. Help make sure that she isn't afraid and that she isn't in pain. Sometimes you need to be a strong advocate for dying patients regarding pain control and other things with treating physicians and hospital staff.

I want to spend as much time with her but feel selfish for leaving her there to work or come home as she is alone and not married so when she is gone I will be alone in a way also, i feel bad for hating being in the hospital when I am cos I can do nothing for her.

You have to go home. You have to work. You have to keep living even while managing this terrible, terrible part of your life. Are you (or your mother) involved with a church or other religious organization? Have you called your/her pastor/teacher/priest/imam to come visit? Talk to Hospice and/or the hospital to see if there are volunteers who might come and spend time with her when you can't be there. The hospital chaplain might be another good resource to help you. You might even call your local American Cancer Society to see if they have volunteers interested in visiting with your mother when you can't be there. Maybe her neighbors might come to visit? If there's ever a time to ask for help... this is it.

Im affraid I wont ask her things I need to know yet I cant think of a single thing and so on,
my brother suffers depression so finds it hard to leave the house and i feel so useless, I just want her in her home and of course well, I have a 12 year old daughter who adores her nan and im dealing (or not dealing) with that also, my husband is so supportive I couldnt do this without him im sure.

Ask her to tell you stories, any stories she wants to tell. Buy her a mini tape recorder with lots of batteries and plenty of tapes so that she can tell you stories even when she isn't there. Ask her about her childhood, her dreams, your childhood, her favorite color, her first memory, her best friend in first grade, her first kiss. Her favorite flower, her greatest success, her scariest moment - anything you can think of. There are some guided journals that have questions like that that might help you two enjoy each other as much as you can now.

I hope that helps.

You are in my prayers.

I too lost my Mom at a young age. My advice is to take as much time off from work to be with her now. I also agree that it is important to just sit and talk about life. You will remember those moments forever. Work...and other things can wait. Sometimes you will be surprised at your employer's response if you ask for a leave of absence. Many employer's understand it is hard for you to focus when you are also dealing with an ill parent.

Be kind to yourself.

Thanks to you all for your kind words and advise, its made such a difference in helping me feel less alone and more focused through all this,

many kind regards freybee

Hi guys,
this is my story....

my mom had liquid in her lungs a couple weeks back so they took her in drained the liquid which was orangy and had stuff floating (not cancerous) anyway they found nothing the heart is fine they let her out and 1 week and a half she is back in lungs full again so they did a biopsy and took some samples of the lungs to analyse and drained her lungs again and they did a scan, from the biopsy they now say it s a TUMOUR preforably malignant
in the pelvis area or stomach...he said either uterus or ovary cancer.
This has spread (cells) to the lungs.

I have been told that if liquid is building up in lungs the tumour must have progressed (not be young)...and that for cases of uterus/ovary cancer this is one of the final stages...

I cracked yesterday...she feels she has no longer than 6 months...poor mummy i love her too much for her to go i want to get to know her more...

I am really not coping right now i am at the end here
shall i go and see her or not i have two weeks hols left for the rest of year i wish work could say to me you know just go and when u feel it come back...i wish....

She is panicking cos when she is in hospital she can t work so can t pay her bills...i know health is a priority here but she is worrying soo much that as she is dying soon she cannot leave her partner with her debts..

love to you all
it s hard
thx for being there... aimee
xxx