angel_bear
08-04-2005, 07:59 AM
I have SO much homework .. YIKES!!
Now I'm into the rights of humans .... ai yi yi !!!!
Just thought of a quick update for you: FIL IS NOT COPING in the nursing home. They are a miserable bunch that work there, and they are treating him horribly ... and I was verbally attacked this morning by the Head Nurse on Duty.
I was told FIL will have to SUCCUMB to the rules and regulations of the establishment, and they will 'get to him' when they have a moment, otherwise, the world doesn't revolve around him.
Not bad for day 3 ..... I am already on the warpath.
Trouble is, I'm doing the rights of humans IN these types of establishments, my 8 lines of expected writing turned into a stapled on addition LOL
Whoops!
MIL is behaving .. taking her tablets, but she's not well. Started off well this morning, and by lunchtime was shuffling and leaning and not good. We WERE offered respite care on the 11th, but that's been knocked back because China BIL is coming to town on the 15th and would like her at home for his week's stay.
Fair enough .. can't argue there.
More soon .. just so busy *sigh*
Hugs
Sally
Now I'm into the rights of humans .... ai yi yi !!!!
Just thought of a quick update for you: FIL IS NOT COPING in the nursing home. They are a miserable bunch that work there, and they are treating him horribly ... and I was verbally attacked this morning by the Head Nurse on Duty.
I was told FIL will have to SUCCUMB to the rules and regulations of the establishment, and they will 'get to him' when they have a moment, otherwise, the world doesn't revolve around him.
Not bad for day 3 ..... I am already on the warpath.
Trouble is, I'm doing the rights of humans IN these types of establishments, my 8 lines of expected writing turned into a stapled on addition LOL
Whoops!
MIL is behaving .. taking her tablets, but she's not well. Started off well this morning, and by lunchtime was shuffling and leaning and not good. We WERE offered respite care on the 11th, but that's been knocked back because China BIL is coming to town on the 15th and would like her at home for his week's stay.
Fair enough .. can't argue there.
More soon .. just so busy *sigh*
Hugs
Sally
Sponsor
Martha H
08-04-2005, 08:23 AM
Hi Sally,
When China BIL is home I hope he takes over Mom's full time care for the duration of his visit. I also expect that he will go to the nursing home and see what can be changed. As much as they like to say "he has to wait until we have time for him," it is a fact that the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
I don't know if this works in Australia (but I don't see why not) .. it is the age old system of rewards: bring a box of chocolates to the nurses/caregivers and say this is to thank you IN ADVANCE for the loving care you are giving to my FIL. Keep that up with regular replacements, fruit, flowers, candy and see if it makes a difference. Don't be at loggerheads with them but praise them for some small thing they did right.
You yourself have said that FIL can be selfish and demanding, so maybe it's not ALL 'them!'
Unless some kind of gross neglect is taking place ..that's another story.
It's the old ' you catch more flies with sugar than with vinegar' idea. I have also heard that talking to the personnel about who FIL is, where he lived, his hobbies and his family make him seem more appealing to the caregivers there, not just an anonymous demanding old man. Good luck ..bUT LET his SONS take care of this NOT YOU!!!
Love,
Martha
When China BIL is home I hope he takes over Mom's full time care for the duration of his visit. I also expect that he will go to the nursing home and see what can be changed. As much as they like to say "he has to wait until we have time for him," it is a fact that the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
I don't know if this works in Australia (but I don't see why not) .. it is the age old system of rewards: bring a box of chocolates to the nurses/caregivers and say this is to thank you IN ADVANCE for the loving care you are giving to my FIL. Keep that up with regular replacements, fruit, flowers, candy and see if it makes a difference. Don't be at loggerheads with them but praise them for some small thing they did right.
You yourself have said that FIL can be selfish and demanding, so maybe it's not ALL 'them!'
Unless some kind of gross neglect is taking place ..that's another story.
It's the old ' you catch more flies with sugar than with vinegar' idea. I have also heard that talking to the personnel about who FIL is, where he lived, his hobbies and his family make him seem more appealing to the caregivers there, not just an anonymous demanding old man. Good luck ..bUT LET his SONS take care of this NOT YOU!!!
Love,
Martha
angel_bear
08-04-2005, 10:18 AM
I hope China BIL does more than his fair share over his time here too... give me a chance to catch my breath !!!!
I am not happy with this nursing home. Yes, I know FIL can be stubborn and pig headed, but his behaviour is totally opposite of 'normal'. He's depressed. He's not eating. He can't enthuse himself to get out of his chair.
I spent this morning with him (and MIL) explaining how he needs to be "PRO ACTIVE' in his care .. he needs to make himself heard. He needs to make sure they understand his needs are different to the 80% dementia patients they have. He is NOT demented, he is NOT a child. He has lung disease, and needs some TLC. I rubbed some cream into his dry arms today and received a scathing comment from the RN on duty of "Oh .. look at YOU .. you have a PRIVATE nurse .. aren't you lucky, well I'll just leave, you don't need me"
I could have slapped her
Instead, I went to her office, introduced myself (nicely) and voiced my concerns over FIL's depression. She glossed over and excused it with "there is a 6 week settle in, you have to wait" .. when I said "we've already done that with the Hospital he's been in for 4 months, I understand settling in, however ..........." I was greeted with hostility and threats.
She said "He will succumb to our rules and regulations"
Succumb??
She said "he has to wait, we're not here for everybody you know"
Oh ???
Am I worried?
You betcha
Hugs
Sally
I am not happy with this nursing home. Yes, I know FIL can be stubborn and pig headed, but his behaviour is totally opposite of 'normal'. He's depressed. He's not eating. He can't enthuse himself to get out of his chair.
I spent this morning with him (and MIL) explaining how he needs to be "PRO ACTIVE' in his care .. he needs to make himself heard. He needs to make sure they understand his needs are different to the 80% dementia patients they have. He is NOT demented, he is NOT a child. He has lung disease, and needs some TLC. I rubbed some cream into his dry arms today and received a scathing comment from the RN on duty of "Oh .. look at YOU .. you have a PRIVATE nurse .. aren't you lucky, well I'll just leave, you don't need me"
I could have slapped her
Instead, I went to her office, introduced myself (nicely) and voiced my concerns over FIL's depression. She glossed over and excused it with "there is a 6 week settle in, you have to wait" .. when I said "we've already done that with the Hospital he's been in for 4 months, I understand settling in, however ..........." I was greeted with hostility and threats.
She said "He will succumb to our rules and regulations"
Succumb??
She said "he has to wait, we're not here for everybody you know"
Oh ???
Am I worried?
You betcha
Hugs
Sally
BarbaraH
08-04-2005, 12:04 PM
Hi Sally,
As you know, the behavior of the nurse is outrageous. The phrase here in the medical community for one duty of the nurse is "Patient Advocate" - to speak up for what the patient needs, to care for the debilitated or injured patient in ways to preserve skin integrity and joint mobility as well as address their illness or injury properly and with care. Seems to me the RN you met is very much doing the opposite, being snide, rude, and deliberately antogonistic. She certainly has a supervisor who might be very surprised to hear how that part of the hospital is being run. On the other hand, that may be how they operate and then it's their accrediting agency who needs the call.
And another thing, to use the word "succomb" about a terminal patient's demands and behavior is just plain cruel. They will succomb to their illness and not to the petty rules. They may comply, obey, or cooperate with the rules - maybe!!! I cannot help but think that this misuse of "succomb" was horribly deliberate. Unless ... it's an appropriate usage in OZ???
Can FIL and MIL both go to the round garden facility or do they not do end-of-life care? Is there a hospice facility in your area that can better accomodate FIL and take him really soon?
Hope there's a quick answer to this predicament so you can concentrate on that homework! Learn well!!
Happy Friday! Barbara :)
As you know, the behavior of the nurse is outrageous. The phrase here in the medical community for one duty of the nurse is "Patient Advocate" - to speak up for what the patient needs, to care for the debilitated or injured patient in ways to preserve skin integrity and joint mobility as well as address their illness or injury properly and with care. Seems to me the RN you met is very much doing the opposite, being snide, rude, and deliberately antogonistic. She certainly has a supervisor who might be very surprised to hear how that part of the hospital is being run. On the other hand, that may be how they operate and then it's their accrediting agency who needs the call.
And another thing, to use the word "succomb" about a terminal patient's demands and behavior is just plain cruel. They will succomb to their illness and not to the petty rules. They may comply, obey, or cooperate with the rules - maybe!!! I cannot help but think that this misuse of "succomb" was horribly deliberate. Unless ... it's an appropriate usage in OZ???
Can FIL and MIL both go to the round garden facility or do they not do end-of-life care? Is there a hospice facility in your area that can better accomodate FIL and take him really soon?
Hope there's a quick answer to this predicament so you can concentrate on that homework! Learn well!!
Happy Friday! Barbara :)
angel_bear
08-08-2005, 05:34 AM
And today ...............................
I passed bed-making!! Woo Hoo Me !!!!
So now I can wash my own hands and made a bed!! (Alan said I fail that part at home constantly, and I was just showing off .. :nono: ) LOL :D
I ASSUMED today that BIL was taking his mother to 10 Pin Bowling and a visit to FIL (which DID happen .. yay) he'll be leaving ASAP for his flying work (Nurse Escort) as soon as possible, because now nothing MAJOR is required until next Monday, and the other BIL should be here by then.
Nice to know he get's off the hook so easily with very little effort. God Forbid YOU KNOW WHO (L) lifts a finger ......... but we won't go there ..
I had a talk to one of my teachers this afternoon about my family predicament, and I also informed her that the "potential SIL just did this course" and she shook her head in amazement and shock. She said How Sad it is that people take part in these courses when they don't really want to, and they've knocked back a heap of people who DO want to do this course, but numbers are limited.
Hmmmm ... sounds like an impending guilt trip I can throw somewhere down the track. .. *shock* would I do that? :nono:
Also today (busy day) .. I went to another nursing home and investigated the possibility of moving FIL and some stage. It's a possibility, they just don't know when.
I also VOLUNTEERED (yeah .. I know .. I can't help myself) for every 'other' Wednesday at this nursing home. I got hustled very quickly to the recreational officer and put on the roster then and there! I start this Wednesday (I don't have classes every other Wednesday you see, so Wednesday is free). There's a couple of reasons why I did this: 1) to utilise my learning awareness 2) Might be able to wiggle FIL moving a bit faster 3) fills in every 2nd Wednesday and will make 'L' look bad ...
Look at her .. she's got 2 kids that go to school and BIL. She does her housework (laundry for 4) she doesn't cook meals (they live on canned heated up food called "whatever's" unless BIL cooks) and visits her friend (only 1 friend btw). Sounds mean .. but that's her day to day existence.
Me? I cook for a family of 5 and MIL. I visit FIL and take him on outings. I do laundry here for my family and MIL. I take MIL shopping (not often, but it does happen). I do my course 2 - 3 days a week, AND I volunteer at a nursing home. Plus I actually spend time with my kids and we do stuff (not nearly as often as I would like, but beggars can't be choosers).
I'm not trying to make myself out to be a saint, but there is a saying:
If you want something done, ask a busy person.
Yup .. that would be me.
Anyway .. I CAN MAKE A BED .. woo hoo !! LOL
Hugs to all
Sally
:jester:
I passed bed-making!! Woo Hoo Me !!!!
So now I can wash my own hands and made a bed!! (Alan said I fail that part at home constantly, and I was just showing off .. :nono: ) LOL :D
I ASSUMED today that BIL was taking his mother to 10 Pin Bowling and a visit to FIL (which DID happen .. yay) he'll be leaving ASAP for his flying work (Nurse Escort) as soon as possible, because now nothing MAJOR is required until next Monday, and the other BIL should be here by then.
Nice to know he get's off the hook so easily with very little effort. God Forbid YOU KNOW WHO (L) lifts a finger ......... but we won't go there ..
I had a talk to one of my teachers this afternoon about my family predicament, and I also informed her that the "potential SIL just did this course" and she shook her head in amazement and shock. She said How Sad it is that people take part in these courses when they don't really want to, and they've knocked back a heap of people who DO want to do this course, but numbers are limited.
Hmmmm ... sounds like an impending guilt trip I can throw somewhere down the track. .. *shock* would I do that? :nono:
Also today (busy day) .. I went to another nursing home and investigated the possibility of moving FIL and some stage. It's a possibility, they just don't know when.
I also VOLUNTEERED (yeah .. I know .. I can't help myself) for every 'other' Wednesday at this nursing home. I got hustled very quickly to the recreational officer and put on the roster then and there! I start this Wednesday (I don't have classes every other Wednesday you see, so Wednesday is free). There's a couple of reasons why I did this: 1) to utilise my learning awareness 2) Might be able to wiggle FIL moving a bit faster 3) fills in every 2nd Wednesday and will make 'L' look bad ...
Look at her .. she's got 2 kids that go to school and BIL. She does her housework (laundry for 4) she doesn't cook meals (they live on canned heated up food called "whatever's" unless BIL cooks) and visits her friend (only 1 friend btw). Sounds mean .. but that's her day to day existence.
Me? I cook for a family of 5 and MIL. I visit FIL and take him on outings. I do laundry here for my family and MIL. I take MIL shopping (not often, but it does happen). I do my course 2 - 3 days a week, AND I volunteer at a nursing home. Plus I actually spend time with my kids and we do stuff (not nearly as often as I would like, but beggars can't be choosers).
I'm not trying to make myself out to be a saint, but there is a saying:
If you want something done, ask a busy person.
Yup .. that would be me.
Anyway .. I CAN MAKE A BED .. woo hoo !! LOL
Hugs to all
Sally
:jester:
BarbaraH
08-08-2005, 12:03 PM
Hi Saint Sally!
Congrats on your new accomplishment of perfect bedmaking!!!!!!! Seems silly for it to be a big deal, but it is so important that there be no wrinkles to irritate patient skin. Well done!
I cannot believe that you volunteered your free day twice a month to work at a nsg. home. It will be good experience, it may help FIL get in more quickly, and you'll be an asset, but you are a glutton for punishment! My MIL is the same way and she, too, fits the "ask a busy person" quote. I've almost bought her a shirt that says "Stop me before I volunteer again!!!" and another that says "Sorry, my family says I must say NO!" Do you need those shirts, too?!
What should L's shirt say??! BIL's shirt??!!Oh, the possibilities!!!!!!!!!!!! :rolleyes:
Hope China BIL will have lots of solutions and the authority to pull them off so when he leaves, your lot will be alone in the house, MIL and FIL will be safely in a nice care facility that suits them and their needs, and Alan will have their checkbook for bill paying. The budgies would be so relieved, as would you all!
Stay peaceful and serene, friend.
Hugs and congrats! Barbara :)
Congrats on your new accomplishment of perfect bedmaking!!!!!!! Seems silly for it to be a big deal, but it is so important that there be no wrinkles to irritate patient skin. Well done!
I cannot believe that you volunteered your free day twice a month to work at a nsg. home. It will be good experience, it may help FIL get in more quickly, and you'll be an asset, but you are a glutton for punishment! My MIL is the same way and she, too, fits the "ask a busy person" quote. I've almost bought her a shirt that says "Stop me before I volunteer again!!!" and another that says "Sorry, my family says I must say NO!" Do you need those shirts, too?!
What should L's shirt say??! BIL's shirt??!!Oh, the possibilities!!!!!!!!!!!! :rolleyes:
Hope China BIL will have lots of solutions and the authority to pull them off so when he leaves, your lot will be alone in the house, MIL and FIL will be safely in a nice care facility that suits them and their needs, and Alan will have their checkbook for bill paying. The budgies would be so relieved, as would you all!
Stay peaceful and serene, friend.
Hugs and congrats! Barbara :)
LuvMyLilDoggie
08-08-2005, 05:33 PM
Wow! Wife, mother, daughter-im-law, in-home caregiver, out of home caregiver, student and now volunteer! More power to ya, SUPERWOMAN! :D
You do realize that each of these catagories has a list of professions under the titles. For instance
MOM
Chef
Housekeeper
Psychiatrist
Nurse
Teacher
And on and on....
Lets see. Can we think of more things we are encompassed in the labels?
Congratulations on making the grade for bedmaking!
Love, Barb
You do realize that each of these catagories has a list of professions under the titles. For instance
MOM
Chef
Housekeeper
Psychiatrist
Nurse
Teacher
And on and on....
Lets see. Can we think of more things we are encompassed in the labels?
Congratulations on making the grade for bedmaking!
Love, Barb
angel_bear
08-08-2005, 06:07 PM
I most definatley need one of those shirts Barb ... !!!! In the old days, you could get letters melted onto a plain t-shirt .. I wonder where those shops are now?
I talked to my Mum last night, she's in agony with an arthritic knee and osteoporitic back. She can hardly walk .. I'm thinking of driving down there after my volunteer work on Wednesday afternoon and giving her a hand until Sunday when I would come dashing home again ... not sure yet, she hasn't told my brother (who only lives 1 hour away from her instead of my 4 hours) so I might give him a ring and see if he can help out .. maybe .. perhaps .. then again, I might just turn up (sans children, been there done that, won't go there again)
But then again, FIL wants to come home for the day on Thursday or Friday .... and a big chunk of me says "be here" but the other chunk says "Let Alan do it" <<<< dilemma's dilemma's>>>>>
Anyway, getting ready for school .. (I love saying that) must do lunches!!
Hugs
Sally
I talked to my Mum last night, she's in agony with an arthritic knee and osteoporitic back. She can hardly walk .. I'm thinking of driving down there after my volunteer work on Wednesday afternoon and giving her a hand until Sunday when I would come dashing home again ... not sure yet, she hasn't told my brother (who only lives 1 hour away from her instead of my 4 hours) so I might give him a ring and see if he can help out .. maybe .. perhaps .. then again, I might just turn up (sans children, been there done that, won't go there again)
But then again, FIL wants to come home for the day on Thursday or Friday .... and a big chunk of me says "be here" but the other chunk says "Let Alan do it" <<<< dilemma's dilemma's>>>>>
Anyway, getting ready for school .. (I love saying that) must do lunches!!
Hugs
Sally
ToBeFreeToRoam
08-08-2005, 09:16 PM
Hi Sally,
I cannot believe all that you do! Do you run on vitamins, coffee, or what?! I just do not have that much energy. I do what I have to do - visit (meaning pay bills, order & fill M-F Meds, and anything else that needs done) my parents several times a week, go with my husband to visit (the same here) his father, and do the least bit of clothes washing and house cleaning and grocery shopping. I do read a lot and talk/listen all over healthboards. I look up my illnessess, my fil, DH, father, mother - all their illnessess! But I do learn a lot from these boards. I must say, this is the friendliest and most helpful of them all!!! Maybe you could pass me some of your energy over the net?!
It sounds like your FILs NH is the pits - nurse wise. Hope you come up with a better one that makes him a little happier. And I hope your other BIL does help a lot when he gets there. Maybe you should make a list (M-S & Hour by Hour) of what needs to be done with MIL and FIL?!!! That should give him a hint. How long is he staying? And is he staying with yall?
Enjoy your schooling, is it over in Jan? I bet you will be top of the class and the teachers pet!
Rest up and Quit Volunteering (I do not believe you have any time left!). Just kidding.
Take care. Wannabe
I cannot believe all that you do! Do you run on vitamins, coffee, or what?! I just do not have that much energy. I do what I have to do - visit (meaning pay bills, order & fill M-F Meds, and anything else that needs done) my parents several times a week, go with my husband to visit (the same here) his father, and do the least bit of clothes washing and house cleaning and grocery shopping. I do read a lot and talk/listen all over healthboards. I look up my illnessess, my fil, DH, father, mother - all their illnessess! But I do learn a lot from these boards. I must say, this is the friendliest and most helpful of them all!!! Maybe you could pass me some of your energy over the net?!
It sounds like your FILs NH is the pits - nurse wise. Hope you come up with a better one that makes him a little happier. And I hope your other BIL does help a lot when he gets there. Maybe you should make a list (M-S & Hour by Hour) of what needs to be done with MIL and FIL?!!! That should give him a hint. How long is he staying? And is he staying with yall?
Enjoy your schooling, is it over in Jan? I bet you will be top of the class and the teachers pet!
Rest up and Quit Volunteering (I do not believe you have any time left!). Just kidding.
Take care. Wannabe
angel_bear
08-09-2005, 03:24 AM
Well today FIL blew it.
Rang me just as we were leaving for college and asked if MIL was visiting. I said "I dunno, BIL was sorting all that out".. FIL informs me BIL isn't in town .. he's gone to work (OH?? What happened to Thursday eh? Good one) and FIL wanted to know how MIL was going to get to see him. I said "how should I know? I'm at College" and he said "So your not going to help today?" and I repeated, "I am at College, so no, I'm not" and HE GOT ANGRY WITH ME. So I reminded him that he has ANOTHER SON, who did say he would ORGANISE things, and he HASN'T and BAD LUCK, and then he YELLED at me he's going to worry all day, and I said "Fine, do that" and hung up on him.
Tomorrow, after my 'volunteering', I'm leaving town and going to visit my mother. I will be gone 4 nights. (Depending on her attitude too, but I won't have my kids with me, so it should be an OK time) and I can make sure she's ok, get her cordless phone fixed, make sure she's got enough food in the place, do some errands for her AND I'll have some quiet time to do my homework and study.
I am NOT going to be abused. I am NOT going to be taken advantage of AGAIN. BIL said he would organise things, he hasn't, and now I'm held responsibile.
"I don't think so George"
And has MIL visited FIL today? I have no idea. Nobody's telling me anything, nor am I going to ask.
A fine line was crossed today ... and I'M NOT HAPPY.
But I love you guys .. LOL
Hugs
Sally
PS: Wannabe: Where do I get my energy? Well there's a reason we have no sex-life, no social life and don't go anywhere or do anything .. I'm exhausted when I stop LOL
Rang me just as we were leaving for college and asked if MIL was visiting. I said "I dunno, BIL was sorting all that out".. FIL informs me BIL isn't in town .. he's gone to work (OH?? What happened to Thursday eh? Good one) and FIL wanted to know how MIL was going to get to see him. I said "how should I know? I'm at College" and he said "So your not going to help today?" and I repeated, "I am at College, so no, I'm not" and HE GOT ANGRY WITH ME. So I reminded him that he has ANOTHER SON, who did say he would ORGANISE things, and he HASN'T and BAD LUCK, and then he YELLED at me he's going to worry all day, and I said "Fine, do that" and hung up on him.
Tomorrow, after my 'volunteering', I'm leaving town and going to visit my mother. I will be gone 4 nights. (Depending on her attitude too, but I won't have my kids with me, so it should be an OK time) and I can make sure she's ok, get her cordless phone fixed, make sure she's got enough food in the place, do some errands for her AND I'll have some quiet time to do my homework and study.
I am NOT going to be abused. I am NOT going to be taken advantage of AGAIN. BIL said he would organise things, he hasn't, and now I'm held responsibile.
"I don't think so George"
And has MIL visited FIL today? I have no idea. Nobody's telling me anything, nor am I going to ask.
A fine line was crossed today ... and I'M NOT HAPPY.
But I love you guys .. LOL
Hugs
Sally
PS: Wannabe: Where do I get my energy? Well there's a reason we have no sex-life, no social life and don't go anywhere or do anything .. I'm exhausted when I stop LOL
Martha H
08-09-2005, 08:17 AM
Dear Sally,
Too bad BIL goofed again and left FIL angry - at you. He knows by now that you are going to college, so why doesn't he rethink and blame BIL? If he is worried all day about MIL what does he think you feel like? You are the one who has been crying for help for MIL for HER sake, not yours, who has been reluctant to leave her alone, etc. He seemed all right with the idea of just a little help and 'letting her enjoy her independence." It is too bad he is sick himself so you can't really get TOOO mad at him ..now I see where his one son gets his stubbornness and irrationality ..
So BIL went off 2 days early not making any plans for the care of his Mother during that time. What's wrong with that man???
You did the only right thing and if FIL's feelings were hurt you have to write that down too on your list of 'why things can't stay the way they are'.
It was months ago that you began to plug for nursing home care for both of them. One is now in a barely acceptable place and the other is still under your roof with everyone expecting you to go to college AND take full care of her ..unacceptable...Don't let them get you back into it. As soon as China Bil gets there that family conference has to be held. Print out your list including today's (yesterday's) fiasco, and sit quietly expecting them to come up with a solution!
Meanwhile enjoy your studies and the short visit to Mum ... who's minding the kids while you're away?
Love,
Martha
Too bad BIL goofed again and left FIL angry - at you. He knows by now that you are going to college, so why doesn't he rethink and blame BIL? If he is worried all day about MIL what does he think you feel like? You are the one who has been crying for help for MIL for HER sake, not yours, who has been reluctant to leave her alone, etc. He seemed all right with the idea of just a little help and 'letting her enjoy her independence." It is too bad he is sick himself so you can't really get TOOO mad at him ..now I see where his one son gets his stubbornness and irrationality ..
So BIL went off 2 days early not making any plans for the care of his Mother during that time. What's wrong with that man???
You did the only right thing and if FIL's feelings were hurt you have to write that down too on your list of 'why things can't stay the way they are'.
It was months ago that you began to plug for nursing home care for both of them. One is now in a barely acceptable place and the other is still under your roof with everyone expecting you to go to college AND take full care of her ..unacceptable...Don't let them get you back into it. As soon as China Bil gets there that family conference has to be held. Print out your list including today's (yesterday's) fiasco, and sit quietly expecting them to come up with a solution!
Meanwhile enjoy your studies and the short visit to Mum ... who's minding the kids while you're away?
Love,
Martha
angel_bear
08-09-2005, 08:57 AM
I'm lucky that the kids are at school .. Alan can get them there, and they've been making their way home for a few weeks now without our help .. by then, Alan will be home ...
hours covered!!
Meals: Covered! I showed Alan the quick and easy meals available, and he's OK with that (he will also enlist Cameron and his cooking skills LOL)
Dear sweet, compassionate "L" took MIL to see FIL today .. miracles do happen. I won't hold my breath for it to happen again .. as China BIL is due next week that will absolve her AND BIL from next weeks duty.
Makes me sick .. it really does. I get abused, yelled at and the guilt trip throw at me, and they get off scott free. Stupid, stupid, STUPID attitudes. Even my classmates, when updated over this mornings incident said "No wonder you want to run away ... what motivation is there for you to stay?"
Exactly !!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so TIRED of arguing for MIL's protection. I am so SICK of being wrong or being made the scapegoat.
I AM NOT THEIR DAUGHTER. I do not OWE them anything. I do this out of love and respect, and believe me, that's wearing DAMN THIN at the moment.
Counting days ........... oh how I am counting days....................
Volunteer work tomorrow .. so I won't be around until Sunday afternoon ... !!
Hugs to you all, hope your next few days are calm and restful (?)
((((((((Big squeezy hugs)))))))))))
Sally
hours covered!!
Meals: Covered! I showed Alan the quick and easy meals available, and he's OK with that (he will also enlist Cameron and his cooking skills LOL)
Dear sweet, compassionate "L" took MIL to see FIL today .. miracles do happen. I won't hold my breath for it to happen again .. as China BIL is due next week that will absolve her AND BIL from next weeks duty.
Makes me sick .. it really does. I get abused, yelled at and the guilt trip throw at me, and they get off scott free. Stupid, stupid, STUPID attitudes. Even my classmates, when updated over this mornings incident said "No wonder you want to run away ... what motivation is there for you to stay?"
Exactly !!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so TIRED of arguing for MIL's protection. I am so SICK of being wrong or being made the scapegoat.
I AM NOT THEIR DAUGHTER. I do not OWE them anything. I do this out of love and respect, and believe me, that's wearing DAMN THIN at the moment.
Counting days ........... oh how I am counting days....................
Volunteer work tomorrow .. so I won't be around until Sunday afternoon ... !!
Hugs to you all, hope your next few days are calm and restful (?)
((((((((Big squeezy hugs)))))))))))
Sally
LuvMyLilDoggie
08-09-2005, 12:49 PM
Sally, when all is said and done and you are out of that house, all that will matter to you is that you loved your in-laws so much and you gave them a little more time in their home. That's the most precious gift you could give. And if your MIL could have forseen her future, she would have thanked you ahead of time for loving her that much. Thankfully, she didn't forsee this happening to her because it would have broken her heart to see how BIL is treating her and you and Alan more so, I suspect, than her disease itself.
And she would have understood and approved of your need to get out of that house. If fact, she may have insisted because she didn't want to burden you. I suspect at the moment you think of BIL as more of a burden than MIL. He KNOWS what he's doing. He's got no excuse. But just as there's a place in heaven for us, there's a place for those people too. As my sister S said to me a few days ago (re. our brother B and sister R) "God don't like ugly." In other words, one way or another, he'll have to own up to the way he's treating his parents.
But sometimes don't ya just wish payback would happen a bit sooner??? :D
Patience, m'dear. It'll happen. :)
I hope you get to care for the sweet old people in the nh. I volunteered at a nh when I was in my late teens/early 20's. The angry ones were tough. But I really enjoyed the ones who would let me read to them and the ones who told stories of the old days.
Love, Barb
And she would have understood and approved of your need to get out of that house. If fact, she may have insisted because she didn't want to burden you. I suspect at the moment you think of BIL as more of a burden than MIL. He KNOWS what he's doing. He's got no excuse. But just as there's a place in heaven for us, there's a place for those people too. As my sister S said to me a few days ago (re. our brother B and sister R) "God don't like ugly." In other words, one way or another, he'll have to own up to the way he's treating his parents.
But sometimes don't ya just wish payback would happen a bit sooner??? :D
Patience, m'dear. It'll happen. :)
I hope you get to care for the sweet old people in the nh. I volunteered at a nh when I was in my late teens/early 20's. The angry ones were tough. But I really enjoyed the ones who would let me read to them and the ones who told stories of the old days.
Love, Barb
BarbaraH
08-09-2005, 03:59 PM
Hi Sally,
FIL owes you an apology and right now. Rude behavior and displaced anger in a person who is ill is still uncalled for and wrong.
BIL owes you an apology for not telling your household what arrangements he'd made for MIL's transportation. L, of course, needs to beg your forgiveness!!!!!
I second what Martha said and what Barb said, too. Aren't they wise women? Yep!
So glad you're getting away for a few days. Hope your mum is pleasant and appreciative as you visit, help in all the ways you can, study, and enjoy the different surroundings. May you return home refreshed and relaxed, find the household in fine shape, China BIL in town a day early having set all to rights instantly (as only blood-kin and older brother can), and your lot is free (okay, while I'm wishing I can go all the way, right?!).
Sending ((((((((((hugs))))))))))) to you, Saint Sally. You're amazing, too!!!!!!!
Blessings - Barbara :)
FIL owes you an apology and right now. Rude behavior and displaced anger in a person who is ill is still uncalled for and wrong.
BIL owes you an apology for not telling your household what arrangements he'd made for MIL's transportation. L, of course, needs to beg your forgiveness!!!!!
I second what Martha said and what Barb said, too. Aren't they wise women? Yep!
So glad you're getting away for a few days. Hope your mum is pleasant and appreciative as you visit, help in all the ways you can, study, and enjoy the different surroundings. May you return home refreshed and relaxed, find the household in fine shape, China BIL in town a day early having set all to rights instantly (as only blood-kin and older brother can), and your lot is free (okay, while I'm wishing I can go all the way, right?!).
Sending ((((((((((hugs))))))))))) to you, Saint Sally. You're amazing, too!!!!!!!
Blessings - Barbara :)
angel_bear
08-09-2005, 06:10 PM
Ok .. dropping a line before my morning explodes in sandwiches, school shoes and suitcases ---> (that's just the kids, then there's Alan and then there's me!) LOL
I really feel this is the straw that broke the Camel's back. I am INSULTED at FIL's attitude yesterday. I'm not angry, I'm insulted. How DARE he speak to me like that? How DARE he expect me to drop everything AGAIN ... what right does he have to demand that? How DARE he spin the guilt trip of his worry, I am NOT responsible for his emotions.
That being said, me, the caring nice one, doesn't feel very caring and nice at the moment.
He WILL call me today and ask where his shorts are. I'm not going to answer the phone. He can ask somebody else. I will be unavailable. He WILL call me while I'm away, but I'm not going to answer the phone, because this time my mother will be my priority (if she behaves that is .. but she's a different story LOL)
And on my return, I will hand responsibility over to China BIL and tell him exactly why. I will inform them that my turn is over. I am at College. If I gave "L" the luxury of not being 'harassed' for assistance for 6 months, then I am demanding equality. I asked for help from her twice, which she did do (only when asked, and then it was a martyr thing) so I will help TWICE.
See how they like 'dem apples.
I will NEVER get an apology from anybody, because they all believe they are infallably right in everything. They cannot accept mistakes happen. They cannot accept they make mistakes. <<shrug>> I'm not responsible for that either, that's their choice in life decisions. I won't hold my breath waiting for the light to dawn anymore, it's not going to happen. I am expecting too much from them for them to realise the enormity of the situation.
I am hoping, from working in this nursing home, that they will open a new one in queensland and I'll be in on the ground floor in a new establishment and have my move justified. If not, I'll tell everybody that's what's happening anyway and walk away by January 15.
This little black duck has had enough. I know I've said that before, but I really have had ENOUGH.
(((((Hugs to everybody))))) I'll be back in 4 sleeps
Sally
I really feel this is the straw that broke the Camel's back. I am INSULTED at FIL's attitude yesterday. I'm not angry, I'm insulted. How DARE he speak to me like that? How DARE he expect me to drop everything AGAIN ... what right does he have to demand that? How DARE he spin the guilt trip of his worry, I am NOT responsible for his emotions.
That being said, me, the caring nice one, doesn't feel very caring and nice at the moment.
He WILL call me today and ask where his shorts are. I'm not going to answer the phone. He can ask somebody else. I will be unavailable. He WILL call me while I'm away, but I'm not going to answer the phone, because this time my mother will be my priority (if she behaves that is .. but she's a different story LOL)
And on my return, I will hand responsibility over to China BIL and tell him exactly why. I will inform them that my turn is over. I am at College. If I gave "L" the luxury of not being 'harassed' for assistance for 6 months, then I am demanding equality. I asked for help from her twice, which she did do (only when asked, and then it was a martyr thing) so I will help TWICE.
See how they like 'dem apples.
I will NEVER get an apology from anybody, because they all believe they are infallably right in everything. They cannot accept mistakes happen. They cannot accept they make mistakes. <<shrug>> I'm not responsible for that either, that's their choice in life decisions. I won't hold my breath waiting for the light to dawn anymore, it's not going to happen. I am expecting too much from them for them to realise the enormity of the situation.
I am hoping, from working in this nursing home, that they will open a new one in queensland and I'll be in on the ground floor in a new establishment and have my move justified. If not, I'll tell everybody that's what's happening anyway and walk away by January 15.
This little black duck has had enough. I know I've said that before, but I really have had ENOUGH.
(((((Hugs to everybody))))) I'll be back in 4 sleeps
Sally
LuvMyLilDoggie
08-09-2005, 09:10 PM
YAY SALLY!!! Sometimes getting angry is what it takes to wake others up. Of course you should never accept horrlble behavior from everyone, especially when it's repeated over and over again. You are being abused by BIL, L and FIL far worse than by MIL.
I'm so sorry your mother is ill. Maybe it would do you good to go up there for a couple of days if you have the chance and if you so choose.
What about getting a hotel room for a night? The kids could swim in the hotel pool and you and Alan could could have a bottle of wine and some alone time. And you could take that bubble bath you so miss!
I wish you could have the peace I'm having now with dad in Alabama.
Hop on a plane and come on over! Barbara, Martha, Wannabe and anyone else who wishes to come for some peace, friendship and serenity are also invited!
Love, Barb
I'm so sorry your mother is ill. Maybe it would do you good to go up there for a couple of days if you have the chance and if you so choose.
What about getting a hotel room for a night? The kids could swim in the hotel pool and you and Alan could could have a bottle of wine and some alone time. And you could take that bubble bath you so miss!
I wish you could have the peace I'm having now with dad in Alabama.
Hop on a plane and come on over! Barbara, Martha, Wannabe and anyone else who wishes to come for some peace, friendship and serenity are also invited!
Love, Barb
ToBeFreeToRoam
08-11-2005, 01:29 AM
Hi Sally,
I know you will not read this for a few days. Hope you have a nice, restful trip to visit/help with your mother. I hope she acts nice, mine does not always. I do not know if I could stay the night in the same house as my parents. Maybe a motel, if they lived too far away. You do need to get away!!!
I think I would have "screamed" at FIL and would too at BIL, when he returns. But you probably will be more calm by then. Your husband and you really need to call a family meeting (that has probably been said b4) and call it mandatory - or else!!! Maybe it will all come to a head soon. I bet you are glad you are in school, instead of being at home.
Did it snow where you are? I saw that it snowed somewhere in Australia! Did your kids get to play in it?! Where is Queensland, from where you live now? If yall moved there, would that be far enuf away?! Please make sure, for your sanity and your immediate family that you do keep your promise, goal and mind, by moving in January.
Hope you feel better and more relaxed when you return. Wannabe
I know you will not read this for a few days. Hope you have a nice, restful trip to visit/help with your mother. I hope she acts nice, mine does not always. I do not know if I could stay the night in the same house as my parents. Maybe a motel, if they lived too far away. You do need to get away!!!
I think I would have "screamed" at FIL and would too at BIL, when he returns. But you probably will be more calm by then. Your husband and you really need to call a family meeting (that has probably been said b4) and call it mandatory - or else!!! Maybe it will all come to a head soon. I bet you are glad you are in school, instead of being at home.
Did it snow where you are? I saw that it snowed somewhere in Australia! Did your kids get to play in it?! Where is Queensland, from where you live now? If yall moved there, would that be far enuf away?! Please make sure, for your sanity and your immediate family that you do keep your promise, goal and mind, by moving in January.
Hope you feel better and more relaxed when you return. Wannabe
angel_bear
08-13-2005, 03:20 AM
BAck again
Mum turned into a toad again, and the car wasn't healthy, and it just seemed adviseable I come home a day early.
Car is happy now .. go figure ??
Mum was pleased I turned up, but then spent the next 2 days complaining how she is independent and doesn't need help, but spouting to her friends who rang to see how she was how good her daughter is.
Why couldn't she tell ME?
*sigh*
I won't go into gory details, but saying Mum turned into a Toad should give you an indication of the days events.
Whilst I was gone, FIL spent Thursday at home being "an old woman" in DH's terms, demanding MIL do stuff for him and she would shrug and walk off and not do anything for him, so then he would ring upstairs and drag DH down and make him do it ...
OH what fun .. and I wasn't there for it.
Then yesterday MIL was leaning badly and still asleep at 10am !!!! She's complaining of pain again, but DH said he never heard a fall (and she does fall heavy!! .. For a little old lady, she lands like a sack of potato's! LOL) so she's back on some OTC pain pills.
FIL has also tried ringing me numerous times whilst I was away. 4 times whilst I was driving, twice the next day. I've hung up on him each time. He can just get used to NOT having me to depend on.
I said I had had enough, and I have.
Hugs All
Sally
Mum turned into a toad again, and the car wasn't healthy, and it just seemed adviseable I come home a day early.
Car is happy now .. go figure ??
Mum was pleased I turned up, but then spent the next 2 days complaining how she is independent and doesn't need help, but spouting to her friends who rang to see how she was how good her daughter is.
Why couldn't she tell ME?
*sigh*
I won't go into gory details, but saying Mum turned into a Toad should give you an indication of the days events.
Whilst I was gone, FIL spent Thursday at home being "an old woman" in DH's terms, demanding MIL do stuff for him and she would shrug and walk off and not do anything for him, so then he would ring upstairs and drag DH down and make him do it ...
OH what fun .. and I wasn't there for it.
Then yesterday MIL was leaning badly and still asleep at 10am !!!! She's complaining of pain again, but DH said he never heard a fall (and she does fall heavy!! .. For a little old lady, she lands like a sack of potato's! LOL) so she's back on some OTC pain pills.
FIL has also tried ringing me numerous times whilst I was away. 4 times whilst I was driving, twice the next day. I've hung up on him each time. He can just get used to NOT having me to depend on.
I said I had had enough, and I have.
Hugs All
Sally
BarbaraH
08-13-2005, 09:59 AM
Welcome back to your lot and us!! We appreciate you!
What a hoot that your car knew it was time to leave Gumpy's home. Wise of you both to come home early. Sorry the chaos du jour there wasn't solved by the time you returned. Methinks FIL is raging against the dying of the light. That poet didn't comment on the fallout on others that the raging causes, did he? Dylan Thomas, you got some explaining to do!!
As for Grumpy, it's just sad that she dumps on you so constantly. She may find herself really alone if she stays so sour. I'm glad you overheard her say good things about you, but she's really crippled if she cannot say those things right to you. Sad.
China BIL soon. May he bring reason and decisive action to land the parents where they need to be. Then all will be better in many ways and MIL will be safe. What worries that will relieve!
Hide in a big chair turned to the corner and take yourself away in a good book. Maybe you can borrow the almost new Harry Potter??
I missed you!
Many hugs! Barbara :wave:
What a hoot that your car knew it was time to leave Gumpy's home. Wise of you both to come home early. Sorry the chaos du jour there wasn't solved by the time you returned. Methinks FIL is raging against the dying of the light. That poet didn't comment on the fallout on others that the raging causes, did he? Dylan Thomas, you got some explaining to do!!
As for Grumpy, it's just sad that she dumps on you so constantly. She may find herself really alone if she stays so sour. I'm glad you overheard her say good things about you, but she's really crippled if she cannot say those things right to you. Sad.
China BIL soon. May he bring reason and decisive action to land the parents where they need to be. Then all will be better in many ways and MIL will be safe. What worries that will relieve!
Hide in a big chair turned to the corner and take yourself away in a good book. Maybe you can borrow the almost new Harry Potter??
I missed you!
Many hugs! Barbara :wave:
angel_bear
08-13-2005, 07:18 PM
Thanks for the welcome!! I did manage to duck onto Mum's computer and check healthboards, but she won't let me do ANYTHING (me .. the one who helped my brother build the bloody thing for her) cause I might break it .... terrified of e-mails, and yeah .. miserable soul that she be.
FIL wants to come home today (Sunday) .. I think, he thinks, he's going to be able to duck home twice or MORE a week ... I'm still angry enough at him to tell him a few choice things today.
But today is an important day .. Brianna (my youngest) is becoming a Junior Army Cadet for the Salvation Army. At 10.30, I'll be in church (a rare event for me) watching my little one. Alan can't join us, because he has to take MIL to church, pick her up, pick FIL up and bring him home. He's going to miss it. Good thing I now have a digital Camera that also takes movies! (Gotta love e-bay!!)
Anyway, glad to be home, glad to be amongst friends (you guys) ... I missed you lot too!!
Hugs
Sally
FIL wants to come home today (Sunday) .. I think, he thinks, he's going to be able to duck home twice or MORE a week ... I'm still angry enough at him to tell him a few choice things today.
But today is an important day .. Brianna (my youngest) is becoming a Junior Army Cadet for the Salvation Army. At 10.30, I'll be in church (a rare event for me) watching my little one. Alan can't join us, because he has to take MIL to church, pick her up, pick FIL up and bring him home. He's going to miss it. Good thing I now have a digital Camera that also takes movies! (Gotta love e-bay!!)
Anyway, glad to be home, glad to be amongst friends (you guys) ... I missed you lot too!!
Hugs
Sally
angel_bear
08-15-2005, 04:24 AM
FIL was SUCH a GOOD BOY yesterday .. he even tried to butter his own bread (failed miserably, so I took over) he was polite, used his manners, was nice to me and everything.
UNFORTUNATELY, MIL didn't go to church. She was REALLY not with it yesterday, complaining of pain, but couldn't tell me where or anything. She was shaking terribly, her pulse was racing. We gave her the OTC pain pills, and she had no idea how to take them. No word of a lie, it took Alan and I 10 minutes to coax her into putting the tablet in her mouth, and then another 10 minutes to get her to take a drink of water all while she's gagging on these horrid tasting tablets that shouldn't be chewed. Then she indicated she wanted to go to church! Alan said "I don't think that's a good idea Mum, I think you need to lie down and have a rest", which she eventually did about 30 minutes later. She spent that 30 minutes standing at the door, looking lost.
Ai yi yi .. chaos.
So .. I couldn't take photo's of all the little parcels everywhere. However, whilst FIL was home I SHOWED him what she's doing constantly. I showed him the water in the coffee jar, the parcels of food, the items in danger of poisoning her. He was shocked and could only say "$hit - she's getting worse"
ALLELULAH BROTHER .. Yes she IS .. NOW will you listen to me?
He'll probably forget, but I should be able to jog his memory over the next week.
ANYWAY: Today's news: Sally passed TPR .. !!! (What's TPR you ask?) Temperature, PUlse and Respiration!!
I can officially take a temperature (with the computerised things you stick in an ear. A monkey could do it really) and chart it, take a pulse (and chart it too) and count respirations! Woo Hoo !!
I made a bed with a real life (not sick) person in it, and it appeared quite successful, and I taught a group of 5 how to use one of the lifting machines. I then learned how to use a hoist to lift a dependent patient and put them on a commode and then back into bed.
Things are moving!
I've also been given about 3 inches of paperwork .. EEK!!!
So .. off to cook dinner, then lock myself in my bedroom and check all this paper out. If there is a paper shortage in the world, it's because this course is taking up great quantities! LOL
Hugs to all
Sally
UNFORTUNATELY, MIL didn't go to church. She was REALLY not with it yesterday, complaining of pain, but couldn't tell me where or anything. She was shaking terribly, her pulse was racing. We gave her the OTC pain pills, and she had no idea how to take them. No word of a lie, it took Alan and I 10 minutes to coax her into putting the tablet in her mouth, and then another 10 minutes to get her to take a drink of water all while she's gagging on these horrid tasting tablets that shouldn't be chewed. Then she indicated she wanted to go to church! Alan said "I don't think that's a good idea Mum, I think you need to lie down and have a rest", which she eventually did about 30 minutes later. She spent that 30 minutes standing at the door, looking lost.
Ai yi yi .. chaos.
So .. I couldn't take photo's of all the little parcels everywhere. However, whilst FIL was home I SHOWED him what she's doing constantly. I showed him the water in the coffee jar, the parcels of food, the items in danger of poisoning her. He was shocked and could only say "$hit - she's getting worse"
ALLELULAH BROTHER .. Yes she IS .. NOW will you listen to me?
He'll probably forget, but I should be able to jog his memory over the next week.
ANYWAY: Today's news: Sally passed TPR .. !!! (What's TPR you ask?) Temperature, PUlse and Respiration!!
I can officially take a temperature (with the computerised things you stick in an ear. A monkey could do it really) and chart it, take a pulse (and chart it too) and count respirations! Woo Hoo !!
I made a bed with a real life (not sick) person in it, and it appeared quite successful, and I taught a group of 5 how to use one of the lifting machines. I then learned how to use a hoist to lift a dependent patient and put them on a commode and then back into bed.
Things are moving!
I've also been given about 3 inches of paperwork .. EEK!!!
So .. off to cook dinner, then lock myself in my bedroom and check all this paper out. If there is a paper shortage in the world, it's because this course is taking up great quantities! LOL
Hugs to all
Sally
BarbaraH
08-15-2005, 10:04 AM
Hi Sally,
Cheers! that FIL was nice, polite, mannerly, and that he's had his eyes opened to MIL's harmful little oddities and cannot pretend she's fine!!!!! It is sad that MIL is worse, but not unexpected. What an accomplishful day.
Congrats on passing TPR and the accompanying techniques for lifting someone. You've even done well enough to teach! Long ago when I was in school, it was "see one, do one, teach one." So you watched it done, then did it yourself, then taught it to another person. Hope you've mastered the paperwork!
Any sign of China BIL?
Hugs! Barbara :)
Cheers! that FIL was nice, polite, mannerly, and that he's had his eyes opened to MIL's harmful little oddities and cannot pretend she's fine!!!!! It is sad that MIL is worse, but not unexpected. What an accomplishful day.
Congrats on passing TPR and the accompanying techniques for lifting someone. You've even done well enough to teach! Long ago when I was in school, it was "see one, do one, teach one." So you watched it done, then did it yourself, then taught it to another person. Hope you've mastered the paperwork!
Any sign of China BIL?
Hugs! Barbara :)
LuvMyLilDoggie
08-15-2005, 10:59 AM
I'm glad FIL is realizing MIL is getting to be more and more of a handful.
I was wondering about China BIL too. Is he coming soon? I know there's been two typhoons there recently. Was he affected?
My BIL and his wife are going to China this Thurday to adopt a little girl. Funny how things happen in places they're going to or have been. They went to Cancun, Mexico the week before the hurricane hit this year.
Sally, congratulations on learning how to take a temperature! :) When I was going through Emergency Medical First Responder training, I had to go through much of that too (not the bed making-yay!-hate that!). I LOVED practicing triage in an emergency situation. Unfortunately, I got to use my training a few times in real life situations. I used to work in a factory that had massive amounts of ammonia used as refridgerant. We had other highly flamable and/or caustic chemicals-so much so that we had our own in-house fire department. I saw a lot of asthma cases and treated people who were exposed to high concentrations of certain chemicals and even had a few hands that got caught in conveyors and fingers cut off. We also had a person who had a heart attack and a person who suffered from a multiple personality disorder.
Anyway, good luck with the stack of papers! I'm sure you'll do great in the class.
Love, Barb
I was wondering about China BIL too. Is he coming soon? I know there's been two typhoons there recently. Was he affected?
My BIL and his wife are going to China this Thurday to adopt a little girl. Funny how things happen in places they're going to or have been. They went to Cancun, Mexico the week before the hurricane hit this year.
Sally, congratulations on learning how to take a temperature! :) When I was going through Emergency Medical First Responder training, I had to go through much of that too (not the bed making-yay!-hate that!). I LOVED practicing triage in an emergency situation. Unfortunately, I got to use my training a few times in real life situations. I used to work in a factory that had massive amounts of ammonia used as refridgerant. We had other highly flamable and/or caustic chemicals-so much so that we had our own in-house fire department. I saw a lot of asthma cases and treated people who were exposed to high concentrations of certain chemicals and even had a few hands that got caught in conveyors and fingers cut off. We also had a person who had a heart attack and a person who suffered from a multiple personality disorder.
Anyway, good luck with the stack of papers! I'm sure you'll do great in the class.
Love, Barb
Martha H
08-15-2005, 11:49 AM
Friends, there is no substitute for training for any emergency. I had to take a First Aid/CPR course for infants and small children before I could work at the nursery school. I had just done a required, yearly refresher course a few days before, when a little girl in my class choked on a sliced hot dog. She was not breathing, and making choking sounds. My colleague became fairly hysterical, yelling, "she's not breathing! She's not breathing!"
I said, "No Problem, I can help her." (pretending to be calm!) I went behind her and used the Heimlich Manouver, pressing upwards on her diaphragm: and the slice of hot dog popped out. She cried and I cried.
Every caregiver should be up to date on such methods; you never know when you can use it. By the time we got a response from 911 it could have been too late. This child was 3 years old!
love,
Martha
I said, "No Problem, I can help her." (pretending to be calm!) I went behind her and used the Heimlich Manouver, pressing upwards on her diaphragm: and the slice of hot dog popped out. She cried and I cried.
Every caregiver should be up to date on such methods; you never know when you can use it. By the time we got a response from 911 it could have been too late. This child was 3 years old!
love,
Martha
angel_bear
08-15-2005, 05:59 PM
Just quickly (yeah right .. chuckle)
No sign of China BIL. We were told by BIL he would be here yesterday. MIL didn't go bowling, MIL didn't visit FIL yesterday either, so good ol' dependable 'L' did exactly what we thought she would do
NOTHING
China BIL is in Australia, we know that much.
I'll just keep sitting here and shaking my head at certain peoples ignorance. I know I shouldn't keep expecting "L" to miraculously start helping, but I do -- I just keep setting myself up for disappointment. *sigh*
Hugs
Sally
(Who looked at all the paperwork and just packed it away ... time for that tonight I think)
No sign of China BIL. We were told by BIL he would be here yesterday. MIL didn't go bowling, MIL didn't visit FIL yesterday either, so good ol' dependable 'L' did exactly what we thought she would do
NOTHING
China BIL is in Australia, we know that much.
I'll just keep sitting here and shaking my head at certain peoples ignorance. I know I shouldn't keep expecting "L" to miraculously start helping, but I do -- I just keep setting myself up for disappointment. *sigh*
Hugs
Sally
(Who looked at all the paperwork and just packed it away ... time for that tonight I think)
ToBeFreeToRoam
08-16-2005, 12:42 AM
Hi Sally and you other ladies,
That is really neat that you are learning how to do all these new and useful things. What is "counting respirations"? I have tried and I could not find my pulse, if my life depended on it!
I am glad that your FIL got a chance to see part of what is going on with MIL. Maybe he can get somethings done?! Well, we can hope.
That is a shame that some people only care about theirselves. Meaning your BILs SO. She just does what she has to do and not a lick more! Really, really selfish!!
You take care. And I think it good you have your schooling. To learn and as a distraction from MIL. Wannabe
That is really neat that you are learning how to do all these new and useful things. What is "counting respirations"? I have tried and I could not find my pulse, if my life depended on it!
I am glad that your FIL got a chance to see part of what is going on with MIL. Maybe he can get somethings done?! Well, we can hope.
That is a shame that some people only care about theirselves. Meaning your BILs SO. She just does what she has to do and not a lick more! Really, really selfish!!
You take care. And I think it good you have your schooling. To learn and as a distraction from MIL. Wannabe
angel_bear
08-16-2005, 03:34 AM
YAY .. China BIL is in town! We haven't seen him, but Brianna has .. so YIPEEE .. I have no idea where he is right now ... but hey .. at least he's in town!!
Respirations is breaths Wannabe .. every time you breath in one breath it's 1. You count how many you do in 30 seconds, then double it (or take it for the full minute, your call). Average is between 14-20 breaths per minute. Under that your in trouble, over that your exerting yourself.
Your pulse (radial pulse) is just on your wrist on your thumb side. Press firmly (but not too firm to hurt yourself). Give it a whirl .. it's very exciting to find it! LOL .. see if you can find the one in your neck (carotid pulse). There's another one errrm .. behind your knee (Popliteal I think), and another one in your groin (dare ya to find somebody elses .. oh yeah .. it's called assault LOL) and another one around your ankle on top of the start of your foot (tibial?) .. Come on nurses .. help me out here.
My BIL's SO (Significant Other or Stupidly Obsessive?) can hang herself. I'm not sure how I would react to actually seeing her in person you know? I was only thinking today, if I bumped into her at the shops how I would react .. and I'm really not sure!
Anyway, I have a HUGE project on Cultural Diversity ... I have to have all my info by the 6th September and do a 10 minute presentation by the 10th October.. !!!! YIKES!!
Any Ideas?
I am THOROUGHLY enjoying this course .... I am making some nice friends too. We had a most hysterical time this afternoon. To help explain Cultural Diversity the teacher set up the Scenario.
We have to leave our town in 30 minutes. What will you do?
We all shared our ideas like get the kids, grab food, get beer (that was the boys), get to the boat that will take us to safety.
Let's pretend we actually made it (because 30 minutes is not long enough) !! And
KABOOOOOOOOM .. our little country town is no more .... :-( ... awwwww
Here we are .. floating, floating, floating .... what's our immediately worry? Food, clothing, medications, sleep, grief at the loss etc etc.
Ok .. after a few days we find land ... Yay !! Land . !!!!!!!!!!!!
Teacher says :Sally, it's been a few days since you've taken your thyroid medication, how are you feeling?
I said "Tired, headachy, but probably still ok"
Teacher says "ok .. good"
We find an island, with friendly natives. We can't talk their language, they can't talk ours. We have to figure out how to communicate, eat, gain shelter .... and let's pretend it all went swimmingly ....
Sally? Yes Teacher .. It's been weeks since you've taken your thyroid medication. How are you feeling now?
I said "I'm probably a size 72 and asleep under the bamboo plantation by now, but I'm fine!!"
And we all had a giggle. LOL
Then we discover, that the natives culture is to have 6 wives. Hmm .. some of us didn't like that and therefore we were ostracized from the village. That's ok .. we can hunt and fish and gather .. we're ok ....
Oh .. hang on .. I'm still asleep under the bamboo plantation ....
Then the girl behind me said "That's ok .. we're breaking coconuts on your head .. your still useful"
Well, that just set us off into hysterical giggles .. Here I am, picturing me as a 250kilo slug asleep under bamboo, with the girls knocking coconuts on my head for survival ...
I may be an unconsious slug with a headache now, but I'm still a useful member of the team!
It took us a good 10 minutes to calm down ! LOL LOL
Ok .. off to cultural diversity hunting!!
Hugs
Sally
Respirations is breaths Wannabe .. every time you breath in one breath it's 1. You count how many you do in 30 seconds, then double it (or take it for the full minute, your call). Average is between 14-20 breaths per minute. Under that your in trouble, over that your exerting yourself.
Your pulse (radial pulse) is just on your wrist on your thumb side. Press firmly (but not too firm to hurt yourself). Give it a whirl .. it's very exciting to find it! LOL .. see if you can find the one in your neck (carotid pulse). There's another one errrm .. behind your knee (Popliteal I think), and another one in your groin (dare ya to find somebody elses .. oh yeah .. it's called assault LOL) and another one around your ankle on top of the start of your foot (tibial?) .. Come on nurses .. help me out here.
My BIL's SO (Significant Other or Stupidly Obsessive?) can hang herself. I'm not sure how I would react to actually seeing her in person you know? I was only thinking today, if I bumped into her at the shops how I would react .. and I'm really not sure!
Anyway, I have a HUGE project on Cultural Diversity ... I have to have all my info by the 6th September and do a 10 minute presentation by the 10th October.. !!!! YIKES!!
Any Ideas?
I am THOROUGHLY enjoying this course .... I am making some nice friends too. We had a most hysterical time this afternoon. To help explain Cultural Diversity the teacher set up the Scenario.
We have to leave our town in 30 minutes. What will you do?
We all shared our ideas like get the kids, grab food, get beer (that was the boys), get to the boat that will take us to safety.
Let's pretend we actually made it (because 30 minutes is not long enough) !! And
KABOOOOOOOOM .. our little country town is no more .... :-( ... awwwww
Here we are .. floating, floating, floating .... what's our immediately worry? Food, clothing, medications, sleep, grief at the loss etc etc.
Ok .. after a few days we find land ... Yay !! Land . !!!!!!!!!!!!
Teacher says :Sally, it's been a few days since you've taken your thyroid medication, how are you feeling?
I said "Tired, headachy, but probably still ok"
Teacher says "ok .. good"
We find an island, with friendly natives. We can't talk their language, they can't talk ours. We have to figure out how to communicate, eat, gain shelter .... and let's pretend it all went swimmingly ....
Sally? Yes Teacher .. It's been weeks since you've taken your thyroid medication. How are you feeling now?
I said "I'm probably a size 72 and asleep under the bamboo plantation by now, but I'm fine!!"
And we all had a giggle. LOL
Then we discover, that the natives culture is to have 6 wives. Hmm .. some of us didn't like that and therefore we were ostracized from the village. That's ok .. we can hunt and fish and gather .. we're ok ....
Oh .. hang on .. I'm still asleep under the bamboo plantation ....
Then the girl behind me said "That's ok .. we're breaking coconuts on your head .. your still useful"
Well, that just set us off into hysterical giggles .. Here I am, picturing me as a 250kilo slug asleep under bamboo, with the girls knocking coconuts on my head for survival ...
I may be an unconsious slug with a headache now, but I'm still a useful member of the team!
It took us a good 10 minutes to calm down ! LOL LOL
Ok .. off to cultural diversity hunting!!
Hugs
Sally
CARAT414
08-16-2005, 04:11 AM
Sally your cultural diversity story had me laughing up a storm. Before taking my leave of absence from work, I was the front office manager for an elementary school. The year that I left we had a child and parents from a small african tribe. I had another student from a different area in Africa that spoke both the previous child language, his own, and arabic, and still another that spoke arabic and very broken english. All of these students were in the second grade so I doubt I need to explain the many laughs we had trying to get messages across to the first student and the parents.
Schools here in the US are the perfect example of cultural diversity.
Thanks for the laugh.
Casey
Schools here in the US are the perfect example of cultural diversity.
Thanks for the laugh.
Casey
Martha H
08-16-2005, 09:03 AM
Hi Sally,
All the 5 years I taught in Queens, NY I had kids from almost every ethnic group you can imagine: Phillipines, China, Taiwan, India, Korea, Poland, Argentina, Ecuador, Peru, Columbia, Dominican republic, honduras, mexico, West Indies, and even one or two born in the USA!!
It was the best and most interwsting job of all my 42 years as a teacher.
We had an International Lunch once a year djuring which we asked each parent to bring a dish represntative of their culture ..that was a wonderful fun day. the last time we also asked them to wear or dress their kids in costumes such as people wear "at home." I miss that here in Indiana, but I did meet a lady from Colombia at church this Sunday and was so glad to meet her ..I spoke to her because I noticed her accent ...
It really enlightens you about your ideas ..your foregone conclusions (or prejudices) may be all wrong. One does not pat the head of an Indian child, for example, and a Hispanic child is taught NOT to look an adult in the eye since that is considered rude ..yet I constantly heard teahers saying (angrily) LOOK at ME!!! thinking it was rude to keep the eyes lowered... I could write a book on this ..
I learned so much from it, much more than anyone learned from me.
love,
martha
All the 5 years I taught in Queens, NY I had kids from almost every ethnic group you can imagine: Phillipines, China, Taiwan, India, Korea, Poland, Argentina, Ecuador, Peru, Columbia, Dominican republic, honduras, mexico, West Indies, and even one or two born in the USA!!
It was the best and most interwsting job of all my 42 years as a teacher.
We had an International Lunch once a year djuring which we asked each parent to bring a dish represntative of their culture ..that was a wonderful fun day. the last time we also asked them to wear or dress their kids in costumes such as people wear "at home." I miss that here in Indiana, but I did meet a lady from Colombia at church this Sunday and was so glad to meet her ..I spoke to her because I noticed her accent ...
It really enlightens you about your ideas ..your foregone conclusions (or prejudices) may be all wrong. One does not pat the head of an Indian child, for example, and a Hispanic child is taught NOT to look an adult in the eye since that is considered rude ..yet I constantly heard teahers saying (angrily) LOOK at ME!!! thinking it was rude to keep the eyes lowered... I could write a book on this ..
I learned so much from it, much more than anyone learned from me.
love,
martha
Martha H
08-17-2005, 11:11 AM
I hope the 3 brothers will find a solution that relieves YOU of the 'all night, all weekend' care .. no matter hw much China Bil wants to blelieve his brother saying Mom is actually OK, it's all SALLY.
He cannot really believe that. Yes, get him to the house, he has to see his Mom in action ..
The human mind is so strange. My sister is still in vehement denial about Mom and anything she may hear from Bill is explained by "well it's just old age." YES it is ..old age causing DEMENTIA! I spoke to Mom on the phone yesterday and she didn't know where she was (told me we are having a great time up here in Ciooperstown), told me again that Bill and Anna have a new babay (it is their GRANDchild!) and told me they are having a terrific heatwave, when Bill just said the heat finally broke and it's now blessedly cool.
China B will see the light. BIL is deliberately staying in the darkness because he can't cope with reality.
Good luck on the meeting, and on all the schoolwork you have to do!
Love,
Martha
He cannot really believe that. Yes, get him to the house, he has to see his Mom in action ..
The human mind is so strange. My sister is still in vehement denial about Mom and anything she may hear from Bill is explained by "well it's just old age." YES it is ..old age causing DEMENTIA! I spoke to Mom on the phone yesterday and she didn't know where she was (told me we are having a great time up here in Ciooperstown), told me again that Bill and Anna have a new babay (it is their GRANDchild!) and told me they are having a terrific heatwave, when Bill just said the heat finally broke and it's now blessedly cool.
China B will see the light. BIL is deliberately staying in the darkness because he can't cope with reality.
Good luck on the meeting, and on all the schoolwork you have to do!
Love,
Martha