My problem is different than most posters in this thread. I'm a 42 y/o man and I have difficulty expressing my anger. I get self-conscious when I get angry with someone. I believe it's a self-esteem issue stemming from things I went through as a child. My mother was a screamer. She'd have almost daily temper tantrums and would yell at me for any little thing I did that she didn't like. My sister fought back with my mother, and there were fights pretty much every day in the house. I just clammed up and became a very quiet, withdrawn person. I now suffer from severe social anxiety and have difficulty holding a job or maintaining relationships. I just can't handle conflict. I get nervous and start shaking.

I think I have a good understanding of where my problems come from, but I can't get over it. Sometimes I think it would be good for me if I had a place where I could practice arguing, like a boxer spars before actually going into the real fight. Is that a treatment that is actually practiced? I've seen a few therapists and they helped me understand where my problems come from, but the problem is still there.

Have you tried therapy? You might try something where they use role-playing or role-reversal techniques. I don't know what it's called. But it's done.