My stepson is 28 years old and has never held a job for more than a year. Currently he has been not working for over a year. He hasn't even looked for a job for a year. He moves around from girlfriend to girlfriend...his deal is he looks for a gal who has a job and a car...then he moves in with her and takes her to work and uses her car during the day. He searches for women who have low self esteem...and they are just happy to have a boyfriend and don't care that he is using them and spending all their money. He dropped out of school, has no high school diploma or GED. In the past when he has had a job, he works for awhile then just stops showing up and lets them fire him. He has basically no initiative for anything and has no problem with living off other people. He is very good a computer games and handball. He is also a pathological liar...in the past he's lied about jobs and going to school.

Personally in my opinion he's sociopathic, my husband disagrees.

My stepson is 28 years old and has never held a job for more than a year. Currently he has been not working for over a year. He hasn't even looked for a job for a year. He moves around from girlfriend to girlfriend...his deal is he looks for a gal who has a job and a car...then he moves in with her and takes her to work and uses her car during the day. He searches for women who have low self esteem...and they are just happy to have a boyfriend and don't care that he is using them and spending all their money. He dropped out of school, has no high school diploma or GED. In the past when he has had a job, he works for awhile then just stops showing up and lets them fire him. He has basically no initiative for anything and has no problem with living off other people. He is very good a computer games and handball. He is also a pathological liar...in the past he's lied about jobs and going to school.

Personally in my opinion he's sociopathic, my husband disagrees.

He sounds like he has problems. Is he on drugs??

He sounds like he has problems. Is he on drugs??


Yes...I suspect that he is, he denies it but with the pathological lying you can't believe a word he says.

I think that he smokes pot on a regular basis...there may also be stronger drugs being used but I don't know how he pays for them his girlfriend makes 8 buck an hour and has 2 kids...but I am naive about drugs and I admit it...I'm sure there are ways to get them when you are broke.

Definitely lazy and a user.
Sometime or other they'll turn irresponsibility into a mental disorder, but so far this kid doesn't fit into any of the true mental illnesses out there based on the symptoms you've mentioned.

Could be drug use, could be bad parenting.
But I can't even come up with a Personality Disorder that basically covers being laziness & smart enough to be manipulative & get what you want.

I think there are alot more of these types of kids out there. Our society is telling people that they are the center of their own universe and it doesn't matter about anything else. And parents aren't home to be any sort of moral compass for their children when they are small.

But before I get on my soapbox (oops, sorry - too late) I'd say the kids is lazy & a user. And he's not alone out there.

Definitely lazy and a user.
Sometime or other they'll turn irresponsibility into a mental disorder, but so far this kid doesn't fit into any of the true mental illnesses out there based on the symptoms you've mentioned.

Could be drug use, could be bad parenting.
But I can't even come up with a Personality Disorder that basically covers being laziness & smart enough to be manipulative & get what you want.

I think there are alot more of these types of kids out there. Our society is telling people that they are the center of their own universe and it doesn't matter about anything else. And parents aren't home to be any sort of moral compass for their children when they are small.

But before I get on my soapbox (oops, sorry - too late) I'd say the kids is lazy & a user. And he's not alone out there.


So...what can be done about it??? It sickens me to sit back and watch it happen...my husband (his father) has twice "cut him off" so to speak, but always takes him back into the fold because he loves him anyway...(not into our home...we are adamant that he CANNOT ever live with us again...just into the family fold...including him in family events and talking to him on the phone regularly etc)

his mother (my husbands ex) pretty much has no insight into the severity of the problem...although she has now stopped letting him live with her while he is between girlfriends...

I wish there were a magic wand to whip some sense into people...