Martha H
08-11-2005, 10:44 PM
Didn't hear from my brother for a few days, and when I did he never even mentioned Mom at all ..it's now his KIDS having trouble.
It seems that his son is about to leave his Daughter in law who had their first child in June and lost her father in July. I do not undertand what is wrong with this man. Bill says he is just a 'spoiled boy' .. but there have to be deeper reasons than being jealous of a newborn or not liking the 'baby fat' not yet lost from the pregnancy ...
I am really very worried and upset about this turn of events ..even though the only connection to Alzheimer is that F's Grandmothers BOTH had it; is he losing his mind at age 31??
Love
Martha
It seems that his son is about to leave his Daughter in law who had their first child in June and lost her father in July. I do not undertand what is wrong with this man. Bill says he is just a 'spoiled boy' .. but there have to be deeper reasons than being jealous of a newborn or not liking the 'baby fat' not yet lost from the pregnancy ...
I am really very worried and upset about this turn of events ..even though the only connection to Alzheimer is that F's Grandmothers BOTH had it; is he losing his mind at age 31??
Love
Martha
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ToBeFreeToRoam
08-12-2005, 01:08 AM
Hi Martha,
That is the "pits", about your nephew leaving his wife and newborn! Like your brother needs more things to worry about. But do not fret. I am sure you had your share of problems, when your mom was living with you!
I have learned that when it comes to separations and divorces of family members, it is important to learn both sides of the story. Maybe he will realize how much he loves and misses them and will go back soon. That is, if she will take him back!
Martha, how is your new life, home & such going? Any new adventures there?! Do tell.
Talk more, we miss you. Wannabe
That is the "pits", about your nephew leaving his wife and newborn! Like your brother needs more things to worry about. But do not fret. I am sure you had your share of problems, when your mom was living with you!
I have learned that when it comes to separations and divorces of family members, it is important to learn both sides of the story. Maybe he will realize how much he loves and misses them and will go back soon. That is, if she will take him back!
Martha, how is your new life, home & such going? Any new adventures there?! Do tell.
Talk more, we miss you. Wannabe
Martha H
08-12-2005, 09:19 AM
I just heard from my brother again. He is furious at his son. They sold their house in Queens and moved to Farmingdale to be near their children and grandchild. Now that they are splitting up, it was all for nothing. The kids will have to sell the house and move away (this is his biggest fear.)
I told him they might decide to stay together, or the young mother and child might stay in the area (especially since they need A as babysitter) and their son may also relocate close to them .. if another woman is in the picture that may not last long at all (what kind of a beast - or other b word - goes after a married man with a newborn baby???) and the whole thing may turn out OK.
You are right that they now have too much on their plate: Mom, the utterly confused and addled old old lady, plus their son's marriage falling apart .. and there is nothing I can do except pray and tell him it might turn out OK..
My son went through a similar thing 6 yrs ago when his relationship broke up - this time it was the mother of his child who kicked him out - and I feared losing my granddaughter. But I have remained good friends with all of them, long distance but still - if I go to Germany I am welcome to stay with any of them ...
My new life here is working out beautifully. I love my apartment. I furnished it with second hand or slightly damaged new furniture, and odds and ends from garage sales. It looks lovely. I enjoy the peace and quiet of small town living after the big city. I have nice neighbors, and am a member of a library book discussion group .. no job yet. I think I am going to make it on my present income (plus savings) and am very happy. The turmoil of the Alzheimer Years is over. I am so thankful to B and A for taking Mom in, and so sorry they now have this new trouble ...
love,
Martha
I told him they might decide to stay together, or the young mother and child might stay in the area (especially since they need A as babysitter) and their son may also relocate close to them .. if another woman is in the picture that may not last long at all (what kind of a beast - or other b word - goes after a married man with a newborn baby???) and the whole thing may turn out OK.
You are right that they now have too much on their plate: Mom, the utterly confused and addled old old lady, plus their son's marriage falling apart .. and there is nothing I can do except pray and tell him it might turn out OK..
My son went through a similar thing 6 yrs ago when his relationship broke up - this time it was the mother of his child who kicked him out - and I feared losing my granddaughter. But I have remained good friends with all of them, long distance but still - if I go to Germany I am welcome to stay with any of them ...
My new life here is working out beautifully. I love my apartment. I furnished it with second hand or slightly damaged new furniture, and odds and ends from garage sales. It looks lovely. I enjoy the peace and quiet of small town living after the big city. I have nice neighbors, and am a member of a library book discussion group .. no job yet. I think I am going to make it on my present income (plus savings) and am very happy. The turmoil of the Alzheimer Years is over. I am so thankful to B and A for taking Mom in, and so sorry they now have this new trouble ...
love,
Martha
LuvMyLilDoggie
08-12-2005, 07:34 PM
Oh Martha, that's awful news about your nephew and his wife. His wife has been through a LOT. I'm sure that's been hard for her husband to deal with too. I wonder if your nephew just cannot deal with the pain his wife feeling over the loss of her father and the changes a baby brings to life. Like someone said there's two sides to every story.
My cousin had stomach cancer years ago. Her husband left her in the midst of her illness. She said he just couldn't handle seeing her like that. Now that's a jerk. But she bucked the odds and survived-without him.
Love, Barb
My cousin had stomach cancer years ago. Her husband left her in the midst of her illness. She said he just couldn't handle seeing her like that. Now that's a jerk. But she bucked the odds and survived-without him.
Love, Barb
BarbaraH
08-12-2005, 10:33 PM
Dear Martha,
As you know, I'm sending hugs - please forward some to Bill, Anna, Ditsy Mom, Ingrid, and the baby. A few well-placed cosmic kicks are headed for the feckless nephew! What goes around, comes around.
Ingrid would be pleased at our outrage on her behalf!!
More ((((((hugs))))))), Barbara
As you know, I'm sending hugs - please forward some to Bill, Anna, Ditsy Mom, Ingrid, and the baby. A few well-placed cosmic kicks are headed for the feckless nephew! What goes around, comes around.
Ingrid would be pleased at our outrage on her behalf!!
More ((((((hugs))))))), Barbara
Martha H
08-13-2005, 10:10 PM
Update: F has agreed to go to marriage therapy ..a good step. He told my brother he loves his wife and the baby and just wants things to be the way they were ..(a dream many of us have ..and don'' achieve.. when we care for an AD loved one....)
angel_bear
08-14-2005, 05:29 AM
Yay F for seeing the light ... he REALLY REALLY needs a reality check and get over his EGO ...... baby's change EVERYTHING ... what did he think would happen?
Oooo .. I just wanna ... wanna ... GRRRRRRRR ... yell at him (I don't condone physical violence .. however, sometimes there are moments............)
I hope he carries through with his promise, and that he REALLY makes an effort and grows up.
goodluck Martha .... !!
Hugs
Sally
Oooo .. I just wanna ... wanna ... GRRRRRRRR ... yell at him (I don't condone physical violence .. however, sometimes there are moments............)
I hope he carries through with his promise, and that he REALLY makes an effort and grows up.
goodluck Martha .... !!
Hugs
Sally