angel_bear
08-16-2005, 06:46 PM
China BIL is in town ! Woo hoo!! Pity is, he's not staying here and seeing his mothers decline, so it's all going to be verbal from me. He's only going to see the nice'ish day behaviour IF THAT. He's staying with BIL and 'L', so you can bet your bottom dollar they've cleared themselves of all wrongdoing.
I am going to TRY (and I emphasise TRY) to be calm and patient when discussing MIL's health with China BIL. I will try and not get passionate about my worries for her, and I will try REALLY REALLY hard not to slam dunk 'L' for her stupid blunderings (oh ! Did I say that ? Tsk on me). It's going to be hard, I can already tell.
That being said, our Tuesday's seem to be the odd nights.
Found MIL downstairs, laying on the lounge with no pants on. Pointing the cordless phone to the air conditioner trying to turn it off, and yelling at it
Uh huh ... interesting ....
Came upstairs and reported to DH, then I went back down to keep an eye on her, only to find her standing on the arm of the lounge, hitting the air con with the phone now and telling it to freeze, to STOP, to NOW and C'mon come .... and then .. she toppled .... she slid across and down the wall, and fell on her back over her little side table and her lounge chair, and she couldn't get up at all .. I flew over to her the minute I saw her falling, but couldn't stop her. I had to physically lift her out of the chair myself, and for a little woman, she was a dead weight. She could hardly open her eyes, but she was quite agitated that the air con wouldn't turn off .. I pointed out she had the phone, and picked up the proper remote, and said "you had the phone" and she grabbed it off me and pointed it to the air con again and said "phone" ..
I told her it was time to go to bed, and she clung to me as I half carried her to her bed, undressed her, got her PJ's on and tucked her into bed. Then I locked up downstairs, and found she had pee'd all over the lounge, and had soiled a pair of trousers and underpants and had dumped them on the kitchen floor as well.
This is such a tragedy watching this once proud woman meltdown.
Now .. will anybody believe me or am I still making this up and exaggerating?
And to think, she could be safely in a home under respite care at the moment and this wouldn't have happened. Some people are just so stupid and selfish. (not pointing fingers)
Hugs all
Sally
I am going to TRY (and I emphasise TRY) to be calm and patient when discussing MIL's health with China BIL. I will try and not get passionate about my worries for her, and I will try REALLY REALLY hard not to slam dunk 'L' for her stupid blunderings (oh ! Did I say that ? Tsk on me). It's going to be hard, I can already tell.
That being said, our Tuesday's seem to be the odd nights.
Found MIL downstairs, laying on the lounge with no pants on. Pointing the cordless phone to the air conditioner trying to turn it off, and yelling at it
Uh huh ... interesting ....
Came upstairs and reported to DH, then I went back down to keep an eye on her, only to find her standing on the arm of the lounge, hitting the air con with the phone now and telling it to freeze, to STOP, to NOW and C'mon come .... and then .. she toppled .... she slid across and down the wall, and fell on her back over her little side table and her lounge chair, and she couldn't get up at all .. I flew over to her the minute I saw her falling, but couldn't stop her. I had to physically lift her out of the chair myself, and for a little woman, she was a dead weight. She could hardly open her eyes, but she was quite agitated that the air con wouldn't turn off .. I pointed out she had the phone, and picked up the proper remote, and said "you had the phone" and she grabbed it off me and pointed it to the air con again and said "phone" ..
I told her it was time to go to bed, and she clung to me as I half carried her to her bed, undressed her, got her PJ's on and tucked her into bed. Then I locked up downstairs, and found she had pee'd all over the lounge, and had soiled a pair of trousers and underpants and had dumped them on the kitchen floor as well.
This is such a tragedy watching this once proud woman meltdown.
Now .. will anybody believe me or am I still making this up and exaggerating?
And to think, she could be safely in a home under respite care at the moment and this wouldn't have happened. Some people are just so stupid and selfish. (not pointing fingers)
Hugs all
Sally
Sponsor
BarbaraH
08-16-2005, 09:04 PM
Hi Sally,
Goodness gracious! Hope MIL isn't broken from her fall. It's so sad that she's undressing more ofter and making such messes. It would break her heart so it's good she doesn't know.
Methinks you and Alan must talk to China BIL, bring him to the house for a day,all day. Let him see the food packets, his Mum's addled condition, and the mess. To have him brainwashed by the slugs is outrageous.
The sons MUST meet, discuss, and make decisions for now and for January when your lot is leaving. Plans for FIL and MIL that are reasonable and complete should be made. You get to be there as prime caretaker and witness. On the basis of time spent with MIL and FIL in the last year, you win, so you're the expert. You've got the credentials and the injuries. If they fail to act, MIL is the one who suffers.
May the needed miracles happen.
Many hugs - Barbara :)
Goodness gracious! Hope MIL isn't broken from her fall. It's so sad that she's undressing more ofter and making such messes. It would break her heart so it's good she doesn't know.
Methinks you and Alan must talk to China BIL, bring him to the house for a day,all day. Let him see the food packets, his Mum's addled condition, and the mess. To have him brainwashed by the slugs is outrageous.
The sons MUST meet, discuss, and make decisions for now and for January when your lot is leaving. Plans for FIL and MIL that are reasonable and complete should be made. You get to be there as prime caretaker and witness. On the basis of time spent with MIL and FIL in the last year, you win, so you're the expert. You've got the credentials and the injuries. If they fail to act, MIL is the one who suffers.
May the needed miracles happen.
Many hugs - Barbara :)
ToBeFreeToRoam
08-16-2005, 09:23 PM
Hi Sally,
I totally agree with Barbara! There has to be some way you and your DH can get China BL to come for the day and possibly another time for the evening, or whatever can be worked out. He needs to be with his mother a lot! Is that not part of the reason he came?! He needs to see what she can and cannot do. I do know that most alzheimers patients act and do better in front of company. I have seen my dad do that. He does it for doctors too. So, he needs to stay most of a day to see all of his mother and how she is for real now.
Be sure and tell them about tonight/today. I hope she was not injured. I guess time will tell. They can usually make sounds so that you know they hurt somewhere. My dad knows when something hurts, but he does not know why or where sometimes.
Do the best you can (I know you already are!) and hope and strive for some help from the "others"!!! I know, I know. But we can wish for the impossible! :>
Take care of yourself. Wannabe
I totally agree with Barbara! There has to be some way you and your DH can get China BL to come for the day and possibly another time for the evening, or whatever can be worked out. He needs to be with his mother a lot! Is that not part of the reason he came?! He needs to see what she can and cannot do. I do know that most alzheimers patients act and do better in front of company. I have seen my dad do that. He does it for doctors too. So, he needs to stay most of a day to see all of his mother and how she is for real now.
Be sure and tell them about tonight/today. I hope she was not injured. I guess time will tell. They can usually make sounds so that you know they hurt somewhere. My dad knows when something hurts, but he does not know why or where sometimes.
Do the best you can (I know you already are!) and hope and strive for some help from the "others"!!! I know, I know. But we can wish for the impossible! :>
Take care of yourself. Wannabe
angel_bear
08-17-2005, 05:00 AM
China BIL coming around after dinner tonight ... let's hope MIL is at her best? She's tired, had a big day with Day Care and charging around this afternoon getting FIL back to the nursing home (refused to get out of the car, quite happy to see him go LOL) ... fingers crossed I can talk some sense into HIM
Then again, he's the quiet achiever **sometimes**
Hugs
SAlly
Then again, he's the quiet achiever **sometimes**
Hugs
SAlly
LuvMyLilDoggie
08-17-2005, 05:12 PM
I was hoping China BIL would stay with MIL but I see that was not to happen. Hopefully, there will be an incident that proves to China BIL that you've been right all along and that something HAS to be done NOW.
It's early morning for you so I'll keep an eye on this thread to see what happened.
School is almost ready to start here and I've been practicing picking up and dropping off students. I have a headache already! The routes they gave me are nearly impossible to accomplish, not in the time they want them done anyway.
I get to drive a little school bus with AC and am/fm cd player! YIPPEE!!!! I'll have little ones mostly, 3-5 year olds with special needs. Many of them are autistic.
Gotta go now. Busy with the two jobs this week.
Love, Barb
It's early morning for you so I'll keep an eye on this thread to see what happened.
School is almost ready to start here and I've been practicing picking up and dropping off students. I have a headache already! The routes they gave me are nearly impossible to accomplish, not in the time they want them done anyway.
I get to drive a little school bus with AC and am/fm cd player! YIPPEE!!!! I'll have little ones mostly, 3-5 year olds with special needs. Many of them are autistic.
Gotta go now. Busy with the two jobs this week.
Love, Barb
SushiGirl
08-17-2005, 05:39 PM
This is such a tragedy watching this once proud woman meltdown.
Now .. will anybody believe me or am I still making this up and exaggerating?
And to think, she could be safely in a home under respite care at the moment and this wouldn't have happened. Some people are just so stupid and selfish. (not pointing fingers)
Being in a home is NOT necessarily any safer and it could have still happened. The people that work in them can't watch everyone all the time. My boyfriend's Grandmother has Alzheimer's and she was put into a home for two weeks. While members of the family went on holiday. She had a bad fall in the home and bumped her head. Ended up in the hospital on and off for more then a month. She developed Pneumonia and Bronchitis while in the hospital. She is now at home and is nothing like she use to be. She has totally turned around from being a very nice sweet old lady to hitting and swearing at anyone that gets close to her. She can NO longer be left alone not even to sleep.
Now .. will anybody believe me or am I still making this up and exaggerating?
And to think, she could be safely in a home under respite care at the moment and this wouldn't have happened. Some people are just so stupid and selfish. (not pointing fingers)
Being in a home is NOT necessarily any safer and it could have still happened. The people that work in them can't watch everyone all the time. My boyfriend's Grandmother has Alzheimer's and she was put into a home for two weeks. While members of the family went on holiday. She had a bad fall in the home and bumped her head. Ended up in the hospital on and off for more then a month. She developed Pneumonia and Bronchitis while in the hospital. She is now at home and is nothing like she use to be. She has totally turned around from being a very nice sweet old lady to hitting and swearing at anyone that gets close to her. She can NO longer be left alone not even to sleep.
angel_bear
08-17-2005, 06:24 PM
OH I know .. accidents happen everywhere and anywhere .. and of course, accidents happen to the best of us too!!
The thing is, BIL doesn't want us living in his mothers house. He truly believes, in his heart of hearts, that she will be fine on her own with nobody around. When I ask what will happen when she falls and is alone, there is no answer. If she collapses and is alone, what will happen? Hmm .. still no answer. He is being deaf dumb and blind to his mothers safety ~ and it's under THOSE circumstances, she will be better off in a home. I don't intend living in this house by the end of the year, and we have to force his hand to see reality. It's not easy. This has been a frustrating 18 month battle.
MIL is drinking herself into oblivion every night. Couple that with the aphasia and dementia and it's not pretty. She's incontinent of urine, cannot cook for herself safely anymore, cannot drive (Thank heavens), cannot speak, cannot pay bills, cannot use the washing machine anymore (hand washes everything in a gravel soap if it DOES get washed) cannot use the phone ....
yet he believes she'll be fine on her own? Yeah .. right .. of course. Granted, we can bring in services, but that's only 6.5 hours a week we can get, that's not a lot of time to keep an eye on her.
Oh .. and to top it all off.. China BIL didn't turn up last night. He's coming to chat with me after lunch instead.
Yes, he get's to see REASONABLE day behaviour, and not night behaviour. He didn't see her last night, asleep on the lounge with a cup of tea tipped in her lap. The red wine spilt all over the floor at her feet ... t'is a mess.
Ok .. off we go ... MIL is upstairs handing soap to us ... our umm .. nice?
Hugs
Sally
The thing is, BIL doesn't want us living in his mothers house. He truly believes, in his heart of hearts, that she will be fine on her own with nobody around. When I ask what will happen when she falls and is alone, there is no answer. If she collapses and is alone, what will happen? Hmm .. still no answer. He is being deaf dumb and blind to his mothers safety ~ and it's under THOSE circumstances, she will be better off in a home. I don't intend living in this house by the end of the year, and we have to force his hand to see reality. It's not easy. This has been a frustrating 18 month battle.
MIL is drinking herself into oblivion every night. Couple that with the aphasia and dementia and it's not pretty. She's incontinent of urine, cannot cook for herself safely anymore, cannot drive (Thank heavens), cannot speak, cannot pay bills, cannot use the washing machine anymore (hand washes everything in a gravel soap if it DOES get washed) cannot use the phone ....
yet he believes she'll be fine on her own? Yeah .. right .. of course. Granted, we can bring in services, but that's only 6.5 hours a week we can get, that's not a lot of time to keep an eye on her.
Oh .. and to top it all off.. China BIL didn't turn up last night. He's coming to chat with me after lunch instead.
Yes, he get's to see REASONABLE day behaviour, and not night behaviour. He didn't see her last night, asleep on the lounge with a cup of tea tipped in her lap. The red wine spilt all over the floor at her feet ... t'is a mess.
Ok .. off we go ... MIL is upstairs handing soap to us ... our umm .. nice?
Hugs
Sally
Martha H
08-17-2005, 06:48 PM
Sally ... how about taking pictures and writng a quick caption on each one. This is Mom asleep on the couch with red wine stains all over herself and the couch. This is one of her stashes of rotten food. This is her, trying to get the a/c off by using the cell phone.
Pictures speak louder than words and MIGHT get through to him. On the other hand, I believe it was Shakespeare who said "There is none so blind as he who will not see."
You are in my prayers.
Love,
Martha
Pictures speak louder than words and MIGHT get through to him. On the other hand, I believe it was Shakespeare who said "There is none so blind as he who will not see."
You are in my prayers.
Love,
Martha
SushiGirl
08-17-2005, 07:26 PM
MIL is drinking herself into oblivion every night. Couple that with the aphasia and dementia and it's not pretty. She's incontinent of urine, cannot cook for herself safely anymore, cannot drive (Thank heavens), cannot speak, cannot pay bills, cannot use the washing machine anymore (hand washes everything in a gravel soap if it DOES get washed) cannot use the phone ....
Sounds like my boyfriend's Grandmother, but his family will never put her in a home permanently. She has three daughter's, my boyfriend's mom is her youngest. The oldest is a retired nurse and the middle one doesn't work. So they take turns being with her. She lives with her husband but he can't care for her on his own. They are very lucky to have this arrangement.
yet he believes she'll be fine on her own? Yeah .. right .. of course. Granted, we can bring in services, but that's only 6.5 hours a week we can get, that's not a lot of time to keep an eye on her.
He needs to be pushed to come see for himself.
Oh .. and to top it all off.. China BIL didn't turn up last night. He's coming to chat with me after lunch instead.
China BIL?
Sounds like my boyfriend's Grandmother, but his family will never put her in a home permanently. She has three daughter's, my boyfriend's mom is her youngest. The oldest is a retired nurse and the middle one doesn't work. So they take turns being with her. She lives with her husband but he can't care for her on his own. They are very lucky to have this arrangement.
yet he believes she'll be fine on her own? Yeah .. right .. of course. Granted, we can bring in services, but that's only 6.5 hours a week we can get, that's not a lot of time to keep an eye on her.
He needs to be pushed to come see for himself.
Oh .. and to top it all off.. China BIL didn't turn up last night. He's coming to chat with me after lunch instead.
China BIL?
angel_bear
08-18-2005, 12:09 AM
China BIL is the eldest of the 3 sons and lives in China teaching English at a University. It's a big deal when he comes and visits LOL
The OTHER BIL, who lives in town is choosing to be deaf, dumb and blind but calling it advocacy on behalf of his mother. The fact she is in serious danger is irrelevant. He wants her to stay in her home, with her stuff around and live her life as freely as possible. The fact that we live here and help her achieve some kind of life is beside the point. He won't come and do anything except pop in every other day for 15 - 30 minutes. Not long enough to be useful, but enough to look interested.
Son No. 3, belongs to me. He's the baby of the family. Not good at standing up to his 2 big brothers (he's the quiet one), but rapidly getting fed up. Would like peace and tranquility (so would I). I end up doing everything, because then it get's done.
So .. it usually all lands in my lap .. and now I'm bucking the system, the family don't like it much.
Bitter and twisted? Yup
Hugs
SAlly
The OTHER BIL, who lives in town is choosing to be deaf, dumb and blind but calling it advocacy on behalf of his mother. The fact she is in serious danger is irrelevant. He wants her to stay in her home, with her stuff around and live her life as freely as possible. The fact that we live here and help her achieve some kind of life is beside the point. He won't come and do anything except pop in every other day for 15 - 30 minutes. Not long enough to be useful, but enough to look interested.
Son No. 3, belongs to me. He's the baby of the family. Not good at standing up to his 2 big brothers (he's the quiet one), but rapidly getting fed up. Would like peace and tranquility (so would I). I end up doing everything, because then it get's done.
So .. it usually all lands in my lap .. and now I'm bucking the system, the family don't like it much.
Bitter and twisted? Yup
Hugs
SAlly
ToBeFreeToRoam
08-18-2005, 01:28 AM
Hi Sally,
I know you are about fit to be tied!!! When/if he comes after lunch, you do need to be quite frank with him! And tell him he needs to come back in the evening too!!
Sorry I cannot be of much help. Just keep talking, it will make you feel a little better to get it off your chest. And keep bucking the system. Stir them up good. And tell them all "the way it really is".
Take care of yourself. Wannabe
I know you are about fit to be tied!!! When/if he comes after lunch, you do need to be quite frank with him! And tell him he needs to come back in the evening too!!
Sorry I cannot be of much help. Just keep talking, it will make you feel a little better to get it off your chest. And keep bucking the system. Stir them up good. And tell them all "the way it really is".
Take care of yourself. Wannabe
angel_bear
08-18-2005, 05:11 AM
Gosh .. China BIL came upstairs for a 30 minute chat (wow .. glad he could fit me in) and my first GENTLE words were "How are you finding your mother?" and he said ..................................
"No real words, but otherwise, good .. quite good actually"
I just shutup. NO point in arguing. However, he is coming around (I'll believe it when I see it) tonight, and depending on how long I can keep him here for .. he may find some odd behaviour.
See, the sun is down, and she's already started. I had a friend duck in a little while ago, and she left. Then another church friend popped in to pick up Brianna. As she was driving off MIL pounded onto the front balcony and got very cross with the car .. when Cameron took her dinner down a moment ago, she was cross and said "me, me MINE ..."
Ahh .. she wanted it to be HER visitor ... so now she's cross. Let's see what happens.
Hugs all
*sigh*
Sally
"No real words, but otherwise, good .. quite good actually"
I just shutup. NO point in arguing. However, he is coming around (I'll believe it when I see it) tonight, and depending on how long I can keep him here for .. he may find some odd behaviour.
See, the sun is down, and she's already started. I had a friend duck in a little while ago, and she left. Then another church friend popped in to pick up Brianna. As she was driving off MIL pounded onto the front balcony and got very cross with the car .. when Cameron took her dinner down a moment ago, she was cross and said "me, me MINE ..."
Ahh .. she wanted it to be HER visitor ... so now she's cross. Let's see what happens.
Hugs all
*sigh*
Sally
BarbaraH
08-18-2005, 11:01 AM
Sally,
How disappointing that China B is so non-committal. I hope MIL is outrageous tonight, that there are packets and messes to show him. In plain terms the real question isn't how is she, it's how can she manage alone? Without an in-house caregiver 24/7, MIL cannot function and she will suffer if BIL causes her to be alone.
Perhaps you might print all the posts from here that are descriptive of MIL's actions and if your frustration is there, too, so much the better. Make 2 copies, one to keep and one to give to China B and tell him that you were counting on him to see clearly what BIL refuses to see. BIL wants to inherit as much as possible by not spending it to take proper care of his mother. You want MIL kept safe. Which is better for her? Ask China B that question.
I hope tonight China B was treated to astonishingly eye popping MIL at her best/worst! He needs to understand. Have him question your kids as equally good witnesses.
If he lets you down, it's just 5 months. Remember in January when Martha had 5 months left? The time will come. Really!
Wishing you all you hope for! (((hugs))) Barbara :)
How disappointing that China B is so non-committal. I hope MIL is outrageous tonight, that there are packets and messes to show him. In plain terms the real question isn't how is she, it's how can she manage alone? Without an in-house caregiver 24/7, MIL cannot function and she will suffer if BIL causes her to be alone.
Perhaps you might print all the posts from here that are descriptive of MIL's actions and if your frustration is there, too, so much the better. Make 2 copies, one to keep and one to give to China B and tell him that you were counting on him to see clearly what BIL refuses to see. BIL wants to inherit as much as possible by not spending it to take proper care of his mother. You want MIL kept safe. Which is better for her? Ask China B that question.
I hope tonight China B was treated to astonishingly eye popping MIL at her best/worst! He needs to understand. Have him question your kids as equally good witnesses.
If he lets you down, it's just 5 months. Remember in January when Martha had 5 months left? The time will come. Really!
Wishing you all you hope for! (((hugs))) Barbara :)
SushiGirl
08-18-2005, 11:53 AM
China BIL is the eldest of the 3 sons and lives in China teaching English at a University. It's a big deal when he comes and visits LOL
oh, ok :)
The OTHER BIL, who lives in town is choosing to be deaf, dumb and blind but calling it advocacy on behalf of his mother. The fact she is in serious danger is irrelevant. He wants her to stay in her home, with her stuff around and live her life as freely as possible. The fact that we live here and help her achieve some kind of life is beside the point. He won't come and do anything except pop in every other day for 15 - 30 minutes. Not long enough to be useful, but enough to look interested.
Most retirement homes that I know of allow the people staying in them to bring their own things. I've worked in a few that had people bring they own beds, dressers, tv, pictures, nick nacks, etc. Please don't take this the wrong way, but if he is only around every other day for 15 - 30 minutes and you are always there, he really shouldn't have any say in the matter.
Son No. 3, belongs to me. He's the baby of the family. Not good at standing up to his 2 big brothers (he's the quiet one), but rapidly getting fed up. Would like peace and tranquility (so would I). I end up doing everything, because then it get's done.
So .. it usually all lands in my lap .. and now I'm bucking the system, the family don't like it much.
Bitter and twisted? Yup
He sounds a lot like me LOL. I have two older sisters and I tend to be pretty quiet when I'm around them. But I'm slowly changing that. He really should try to stand up to them when needed.
I know how you feel.
I wouldn't say you're being bitter or twisted. Just doing what needs to be done and trying to get some help.
oh, ok :)
The OTHER BIL, who lives in town is choosing to be deaf, dumb and blind but calling it advocacy on behalf of his mother. The fact she is in serious danger is irrelevant. He wants her to stay in her home, with her stuff around and live her life as freely as possible. The fact that we live here and help her achieve some kind of life is beside the point. He won't come and do anything except pop in every other day for 15 - 30 minutes. Not long enough to be useful, but enough to look interested.
Most retirement homes that I know of allow the people staying in them to bring their own things. I've worked in a few that had people bring they own beds, dressers, tv, pictures, nick nacks, etc. Please don't take this the wrong way, but if he is only around every other day for 15 - 30 minutes and you are always there, he really shouldn't have any say in the matter.
Son No. 3, belongs to me. He's the baby of the family. Not good at standing up to his 2 big brothers (he's the quiet one), but rapidly getting fed up. Would like peace and tranquility (so would I). I end up doing everything, because then it get's done.
So .. it usually all lands in my lap .. and now I'm bucking the system, the family don't like it much.
Bitter and twisted? Yup
He sounds a lot like me LOL. I have two older sisters and I tend to be pretty quiet when I'm around them. But I'm slowly changing that. He really should try to stand up to them when needed.
I know how you feel.
I wouldn't say you're being bitter or twisted. Just doing what needs to be done and trying to get some help.
BarbaraH
08-19-2005, 12:22 AM
Oh Sally,
I'm on the edge of my seat.... how did it go?? I so hope all will join you in the effort to keep MIL safe and well fed (since she cannot cook anymore and is scary in her efforts to store leftovers!).
((((hugs)))) to you - Barbara :wave:
I'm on the edge of my seat.... how did it go?? I so hope all will join you in the effort to keep MIL safe and well fed (since she cannot cook anymore and is scary in her efforts to store leftovers!).
((((hugs)))) to you - Barbara :wave:
angel_bear
08-19-2005, 01:29 AM
It went as I expected. He was pleasant, but didn't really want to hear the gory details.
Surprise, surprise.
So now .. I will tell them NOTHING. Nothing! Zip, nada, zilch. They don't wanna know? They're not going to know. If they ask, I'm not sure what I will say, but I don't think they will y'know?
MIL behaved well last night (typical), but what I found this morning was 2 nights ago dinner still in the microwave (she didn't eat a scrap of it), a soggy food parcel in the pantry, she hadn't taken her tablets AND the milk was left out again .........
Honeymoon period of impending visitors over ....... relaxing messy behaviour returns.
*sigh*
Hugs y'all (at least YOU guys care!!)
Sally
Surprise, surprise.
So now .. I will tell them NOTHING. Nothing! Zip, nada, zilch. They don't wanna know? They're not going to know. If they ask, I'm not sure what I will say, but I don't think they will y'know?
MIL behaved well last night (typical), but what I found this morning was 2 nights ago dinner still in the microwave (she didn't eat a scrap of it), a soggy food parcel in the pantry, she hadn't taken her tablets AND the milk was left out again .........
Honeymoon period of impending visitors over ....... relaxing messy behaviour returns.
*sigh*
Hugs y'all (at least YOU guys care!!)
Sally
BarbaraH
08-21-2005, 05:05 PM
Hi Sally,
I've been thinking about you so often! How goes it? Is it time to get FIL's sister back to knock some sense into the heads her nephews, BIL and China B (if he's still there)??
Whatever happens with BIL, toddle MIL right off to her 2 weeks of respite care, see if you can extend it to be permanent, and live it up - well, as much as school and family and volunteer jobs allow!
Hang in there! ((((((((hugs))))))))) Barbara :wave:
I've been thinking about you so often! How goes it? Is it time to get FIL's sister back to knock some sense into the heads her nephews, BIL and China B (if he's still there)??
Whatever happens with BIL, toddle MIL right off to her 2 weeks of respite care, see if you can extend it to be permanent, and live it up - well, as much as school and family and volunteer jobs allow!
Hang in there! ((((((((hugs))))))))) Barbara :wave:
angel_bear
08-21-2005, 06:52 PM
Well, looks like MIL is staying at home. Respite was refused "not needed" was the reply. Too late for me to ring and take it back now ....
I have no say, but I'm expected to pick up the pieces.
At least BIL is home this week, MAYBE MIL might get to bowling and visit FIL today, miracles can happen once in a blue moon.
China BIL left town on Friday. He managed to spend 3 days in town. Had lunch with his mother 2 days in a row and left. Not a bad time frame for somebody staying a month in the country.
Yes, time to ring Aunty P, although she's recuperating herself from an arthroscopy, so not much can be done, but she's a great sounding board I must admit.
Hugs
Sally
I have no say, but I'm expected to pick up the pieces.
At least BIL is home this week, MAYBE MIL might get to bowling and visit FIL today, miracles can happen once in a blue moon.
China BIL left town on Friday. He managed to spend 3 days in town. Had lunch with his mother 2 days in a row and left. Not a bad time frame for somebody staying a month in the country.
Yes, time to ring Aunty P, although she's recuperating herself from an arthroscopy, so not much can be done, but she's a great sounding board I must admit.
Hugs
Sally
BarbaraH
08-21-2005, 08:36 PM
Sally!!! :eek: :eek: :eek:
Respite NOT NEEDED?????????????? Whose bright idea was that? If it was BIL, then that's it. Let BIL pick up the pieces. Your family needs to be away from there. Somehow the funds must be there for you to leave that house before you or your heart breaks.
If it was G., then raise stink! How unfair, how wrong-headed.
One way or another, the caregiver gets dumped on again.
I am furious on your behalf. OUTRAGEOUS. :mad: Who do I need to call?
Girlfriend, you bet I care and I wish I could really help.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))) )))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Barbara :eek:
Respite NOT NEEDED?????????????? Whose bright idea was that? If it was BIL, then that's it. Let BIL pick up the pieces. Your family needs to be away from there. Somehow the funds must be there for you to leave that house before you or your heart breaks.
If it was G., then raise stink! How unfair, how wrong-headed.
One way or another, the caregiver gets dumped on again.
I am furious on your behalf. OUTRAGEOUS. :mad: Who do I need to call?
Girlfriend, you bet I care and I wish I could really help.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))) )))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Barbara :eek:
Martha H
08-21-2005, 09:06 PM
Dear Sally,
I too am shocked and horrified. You applied for this respite care what must be MONTHS ago .. they finally made an offer for ??? length of time and someone said NO, we don't need it?? WHO was that fool? And why did they call HIM???
I just don't understand it.
YOU need the respite, it was for YOU, don't they understand? Not for their Mom who doesn't seem to care where she is as long as you are there to pick up the trail of messes she leaves behind her.
I think Barbara is right. If BIL cancelled YOUR respite, it's now all up to him .. let him move in. You get your 3 kids and your husband out of there. As they say in New York, "genug already!"
Love,
Martha
I too am shocked and horrified. You applied for this respite care what must be MONTHS ago .. they finally made an offer for ??? length of time and someone said NO, we don't need it?? WHO was that fool? And why did they call HIM???
I just don't understand it.
YOU need the respite, it was for YOU, don't they understand? Not for their Mom who doesn't seem to care where she is as long as you are there to pick up the trail of messes she leaves behind her.
I think Barbara is right. If BIL cancelled YOUR respite, it's now all up to him .. let him move in. You get your 3 kids and your husband out of there. As they say in New York, "genug already!"
Love,
Martha
LuvMyLilDoggie
08-21-2005, 10:48 PM
Oh I just HAD to respond to this one. Sally, I used to think I was the one surrounded by idiots but I must say I think Alan's brothers far surpass my sister (NOT my brother) in the idiot catagory! This is totally outrageous the way they're acting! I wish Barbara, Martha and myself could hop on a plane and come to help you.
Lets see. Barbara is quick thinking and probably the most sane of us since she hasn't had to deal with the craziness of dementia for some time. She would go straight to BIL with the intentions of giving him a piece of her mind. But I doubt she would need to after ringing his neck first! :dizzy:
Keeping in mind Barbara is the most sane of us (Martha is getting there!), just imagine what might happen if we were all there! :D
And Sally, you would be there with one raised eyebrow thinking "They're scary, but I wish I would have called on them sooner!" LOL!!!
A little humor never hurt anyone-as long as we don't act on it! hehehe (as I type with an evil chuckle)!!!
Love, Barb
Lets see. Barbara is quick thinking and probably the most sane of us since she hasn't had to deal with the craziness of dementia for some time. She would go straight to BIL with the intentions of giving him a piece of her mind. But I doubt she would need to after ringing his neck first! :dizzy:
Keeping in mind Barbara is the most sane of us (Martha is getting there!), just imagine what might happen if we were all there! :D
And Sally, you would be there with one raised eyebrow thinking "They're scary, but I wish I would have called on them sooner!" LOL!!!
A little humor never hurt anyone-as long as we don't act on it! hehehe (as I type with an evil chuckle)!!!
Love, Barb
BarbaraH
08-21-2005, 11:00 PM
Hi again Sally -
Yes, remind BIL that I'm in his profession and I recommend he go back to school, find his reason, nursing observational skills, accessment skills, compassion, and brain, and take another look at the patient and CAREGIVER. His cruel behavior is unconconsciencible. He gives a bad rep to our profession and SHAME on him. Hummm....it must be greed and you can tell him that, too.
We're with you babe! When does the plane leave and where are we going???!
more(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Barbara :wave:
Yes, remind BIL that I'm in his profession and I recommend he go back to school, find his reason, nursing observational skills, accessment skills, compassion, and brain, and take another look at the patient and CAREGIVER. His cruel behavior is unconconsciencible. He gives a bad rep to our profession and SHAME on him. Hummm....it must be greed and you can tell him that, too.
We're with you babe! When does the plane leave and where are we going???!
more(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Barbara :wave:
ToBeFreeToRoam
08-22-2005, 01:05 AM
Hi there Sally,
First a big giant hug for you! I know you need more right now. Too bad some people are so dense and thoughtless. It is like they do not even care about their mom and/or just have their heads stuck in the ground! Remember, 4 - 5 months tops!!! You and your family are leaving in January!! Keep doing what you are doing to stay sane and busy. I do think that helps you thru this mess.
Is there not any way that you can re-sign up for the respite care and tell them to put you on the list, in case anyone cancels? You could still use this help in a month of two.
I would like to hear the story about Barbara, Martha and Barb hopping the airplane to Australia and tearing into BIL!!! I bet he would wonder, who are these mad, mad women! I would go too, but that airplane trip would be too, too long. Plus, I do not think I could do justice as well as yall, ladies. Well, you know the saying, "If looks could kill", how about "If thoughts and words could kill"??!!!
Take care of yourself and try to keep focused on the prize, next year! Wannabe
First a big giant hug for you! I know you need more right now. Too bad some people are so dense and thoughtless. It is like they do not even care about their mom and/or just have their heads stuck in the ground! Remember, 4 - 5 months tops!!! You and your family are leaving in January!! Keep doing what you are doing to stay sane and busy. I do think that helps you thru this mess.
Is there not any way that you can re-sign up for the respite care and tell them to put you on the list, in case anyone cancels? You could still use this help in a month of two.
I would like to hear the story about Barbara, Martha and Barb hopping the airplane to Australia and tearing into BIL!!! I bet he would wonder, who are these mad, mad women! I would go too, but that airplane trip would be too, too long. Plus, I do not think I could do justice as well as yall, ladies. Well, you know the saying, "If looks could kill", how about "If thoughts and words could kill"??!!!
Take care of yourself and try to keep focused on the prize, next year! Wannabe
angel_bear
08-22-2005, 04:06 AM
OH you'll enjoy today's fiasco ..............
BIL came over at 8.20 this morning ~ just as we were leaving for 'school' for all of us ~ so we didn't know why he was here. He was too early to take MIL bowling! Anyway, we did the school run, and we just happen to go past his house (old house, he moved on the weekend, but today was clean up day) and voila .. his car was in the driveway. So he didn't stay long with MIL!!!
The day progressed ........ I got my assignments back ~ all 5 of them ... 1) 8/10, 2) 9/10 3) 8/10, 4) 9/10 and 5) 8/10 !! (not bad scores!!) and today we learnt all about urinalysis and the body's system .... and we learnt about catheter care (but no practical) and it was a good day ................ headache and all ...................
and then we came home. MIL came dashing upstairs, and was smiling, and happy, and chatty, and shared chocolate, and the kids all came home, and she was happy, and smiling .. and then I noticed I'm out of thyroid tablets, so I said "I have to go to the Chemist" and MIL said:
"OH !! Blather bley, 1 and 2 little blither zith za trey goo peepah"
Ummmm .... " you want to go to the chemist too?" I asked.. "YES" she replied happily, and went trotting downstairs. Yes, I followed, and found she had taken 3 days worth of tablets !!!!! OMG !!! And I pointed this out to her, and she said "Oh well, bother trey goo paaapa go" So we get in the car ....... down to the chemist ...........
She leapt out of the car, and said quite clearly "Won't be long .........." and took off down the street!! (to the alcohol shop ...............) I went into the chemist and showed them what she did with her tablets .. the chemist said "OMG .. is she still standing?" and I said "Oh yea, and we're in a VERY happy mood", and the bloke next to me said "Well THOSE tablets are working" .. and we all had a bit of a chuckle while the chemist went into damage control and refilled her tablet pack (and my scripts while he was there).
MIL then turned up ....... 2 very heavy plastic bags in her hands .. LADEN with alcohol!!! Smiling, happy ... very pleased with herself.
Why? Because she actually has NO money on her. She paid for this with her debit card .. which means she has to sign for things, and she hasn't been able to sign her name properly for ages now .. so THAT side of things is intriguing too!! I put her stash on the back seat, and she didn't quite know what to do, so I said "hop in the car" and she looked around and went to walk away, so I said "Here, in the car" and she said down finally, put her seatbelt on and said "you can home now" (clearly !!!). We got home, she trotted up the stairs, happy little camper that she be.
She really is in a fantastic mood .. 3 days worth of antidepressents make MIL a happy girl !!!
Anyway, because respite was knocked back, we can't get this one, but she's on the next intake, which might be around November (maybe, perhaps) .. so we shall see what happens then.
[b]I cannot make people open their eyes and see reality.[b] So I will do damage control until the end of the year. After that, unfortunatley, I will have to put MIL at risk, because that's the ONLY way things will happen for her. I give up. I've been fighting this battle for too long and getting nowhere. Even though this is the situation I've been avoiding (I should say we, because Alan is on my side thank heavens), it's going to have to happen.
And on the "L" front .. she finished her course mid July. She's not working. When they moved on the weekend, she hadn't packed anything either. Tell me, what does someone do ALL day when there is nothing achieved? She doesn't cook either .. it amazes me .. it truly does.
Hugs all
Sally
(Who will be waiting with baited breath for some wonderful ladies to come and beat up my BIL's for me!!)
BIL came over at 8.20 this morning ~ just as we were leaving for 'school' for all of us ~ so we didn't know why he was here. He was too early to take MIL bowling! Anyway, we did the school run, and we just happen to go past his house (old house, he moved on the weekend, but today was clean up day) and voila .. his car was in the driveway. So he didn't stay long with MIL!!!
The day progressed ........ I got my assignments back ~ all 5 of them ... 1) 8/10, 2) 9/10 3) 8/10, 4) 9/10 and 5) 8/10 !! (not bad scores!!) and today we learnt all about urinalysis and the body's system .... and we learnt about catheter care (but no practical) and it was a good day ................ headache and all ...................
and then we came home. MIL came dashing upstairs, and was smiling, and happy, and chatty, and shared chocolate, and the kids all came home, and she was happy, and smiling .. and then I noticed I'm out of thyroid tablets, so I said "I have to go to the Chemist" and MIL said:
"OH !! Blather bley, 1 and 2 little blither zith za trey goo peepah"
Ummmm .... " you want to go to the chemist too?" I asked.. "YES" she replied happily, and went trotting downstairs. Yes, I followed, and found she had taken 3 days worth of tablets !!!!! OMG !!! And I pointed this out to her, and she said "Oh well, bother trey goo paaapa go" So we get in the car ....... down to the chemist ...........
She leapt out of the car, and said quite clearly "Won't be long .........." and took off down the street!! (to the alcohol shop ...............) I went into the chemist and showed them what she did with her tablets .. the chemist said "OMG .. is she still standing?" and I said "Oh yea, and we're in a VERY happy mood", and the bloke next to me said "Well THOSE tablets are working" .. and we all had a bit of a chuckle while the chemist went into damage control and refilled her tablet pack (and my scripts while he was there).
MIL then turned up ....... 2 very heavy plastic bags in her hands .. LADEN with alcohol!!! Smiling, happy ... very pleased with herself.
Why? Because she actually has NO money on her. She paid for this with her debit card .. which means she has to sign for things, and she hasn't been able to sign her name properly for ages now .. so THAT side of things is intriguing too!! I put her stash on the back seat, and she didn't quite know what to do, so I said "hop in the car" and she looked around and went to walk away, so I said "Here, in the car" and she said down finally, put her seatbelt on and said "you can home now" (clearly !!!). We got home, she trotted up the stairs, happy little camper that she be.
She really is in a fantastic mood .. 3 days worth of antidepressents make MIL a happy girl !!!
Anyway, because respite was knocked back, we can't get this one, but she's on the next intake, which might be around November (maybe, perhaps) .. so we shall see what happens then.
[b]I cannot make people open their eyes and see reality.[b] So I will do damage control until the end of the year. After that, unfortunatley, I will have to put MIL at risk, because that's the ONLY way things will happen for her. I give up. I've been fighting this battle for too long and getting nowhere. Even though this is the situation I've been avoiding (I should say we, because Alan is on my side thank heavens), it's going to have to happen.
And on the "L" front .. she finished her course mid July. She's not working. When they moved on the weekend, she hadn't packed anything either. Tell me, what does someone do ALL day when there is nothing achieved? She doesn't cook either .. it amazes me .. it truly does.
Hugs all
Sally
(Who will be waiting with baited breath for some wonderful ladies to come and beat up my BIL's for me!!)
Martha H
08-22-2005, 08:31 AM
Hello Sally ..wow, three days worth of pills made her speak better, write her name better, and feel better? Is there a (however remote) chance that unlike most patients, your MIL is being UNDERmedicated?? Maybe doubling the dosages will make all of your lives easer for the remaining few months??
If it would help - and if I could afford a trip Down Under - I'd beam myself over ...
Love,
Martha
If it would help - and if I could afford a trip Down Under - I'd beam myself over ...
Love,
Martha
angel_bear
08-22-2005, 09:21 AM
Quick update before I head to bed:
MIL went to Adult Day Care again today. Not to bowling. Explains her happy mood because she's REALLY enjoying Day care. She's a dab-hand at in door bowls (now that she's not chucking the balls down like 10 pin bowling LOL) and is getting on well with the other people.
YAY
And "L" has actually applied at the local Public Hospital for a Traineeship to become a Registered Nurse.
Won't that be interesting?
Nite nite all
Sally
MIL went to Adult Day Care again today. Not to bowling. Explains her happy mood because she's REALLY enjoying Day care. She's a dab-hand at in door bowls (now that she's not chucking the balls down like 10 pin bowling LOL) and is getting on well with the other people.
YAY
And "L" has actually applied at the local Public Hospital for a Traineeship to become a Registered Nurse.
Won't that be interesting?
Nite nite all
Sally
ToBeFreeToRoam
08-22-2005, 12:50 PM
Hi there Sally,
If you get a little free time in the next few days, can you describe (as much as you know) about the Adult Day Care. And anyone else, out there that has experience in sending/taking AD relative to Day Care. Like, is it only for DAY care, how does it look, what kind of people go there, what do they do (for activities), and how long do they stay. I am still thinking about trying to get my mom to agree to get my dad to go sometime in the future. His place would be in with a assisted living/alzheimers permanent place. But there are a group that come there, 5 days, 2-3 days, or several 1/2 days a week. It would just be like respite for my mom. But, they are kept separate and do their own activities. I do know they are not ready yet!
You are such a good story teller! The only problem is, that it is true!
Keep centering mainly on your self! Take care. Wannabe
If you get a little free time in the next few days, can you describe (as much as you know) about the Adult Day Care. And anyone else, out there that has experience in sending/taking AD relative to Day Care. Like, is it only for DAY care, how does it look, what kind of people go there, what do they do (for activities), and how long do they stay. I am still thinking about trying to get my mom to agree to get my dad to go sometime in the future. His place would be in with a assisted living/alzheimers permanent place. But there are a group that come there, 5 days, 2-3 days, or several 1/2 days a week. It would just be like respite for my mom. But, they are kept separate and do their own activities. I do know they are not ready yet!
You are such a good story teller! The only problem is, that it is true!
Keep centering mainly on your self! Take care. Wannabe
Martha H
08-22-2005, 01:22 PM
Dear Sally,
Does L have any idea what she is getting into? My son in law is a registered nurse, and the training was rigorous .. day and night duty, watching and later helping with births and operations, plus all the dirty jobs those with more seniority don't want to do (bed pans, washing an old drunk who shat himself full) etc.
He got through it and now has a good job and is supporting his family (my daughter now only works part time which is great for the kids and her) but I see L as a person who shirks WORK. That does not jibe with a nurse's life!
Love,
Martha
Does L have any idea what she is getting into? My son in law is a registered nurse, and the training was rigorous .. day and night duty, watching and later helping with births and operations, plus all the dirty jobs those with more seniority don't want to do (bed pans, washing an old drunk who shat himself full) etc.
He got through it and now has a good job and is supporting his family (my daughter now only works part time which is great for the kids and her) but I see L as a person who shirks WORK. That does not jibe with a nurse's life!
Love,
Martha
BarbaraH
08-22-2005, 05:09 PM
Hi Sally,
I did a double-take on the L to nurse's training, too! Is she ever in for it!!!!!!!!!! Been there, done that, did it for 30+ years, and have the varicose veins to prove it. Nope, not for the lazy, the folks who like to sit, or those who wait for someone else to do it. This should be high comedy!! Will any of your teachers have any contact with her new teachers? That would be even more delicious!
Oh, no! If you move away in January, you may miss the entertainment. Not staying even for that?! ;)
Call her doctor and ask about increasing MIL's antidepressant. Happy is good! Maybe a double dose to start with will be enough. I do think it's rotten that you must wait so long to get back in for resipte care. I know - hire a minder for MIL and have BIL pay for it. He blew it and he must pay.
As has been said, take good care of you!
Hugs - Barbara :D
I did a double-take on the L to nurse's training, too! Is she ever in for it!!!!!!!!!! Been there, done that, did it for 30+ years, and have the varicose veins to prove it. Nope, not for the lazy, the folks who like to sit, or those who wait for someone else to do it. This should be high comedy!! Will any of your teachers have any contact with her new teachers? That would be even more delicious!
Oh, no! If you move away in January, you may miss the entertainment. Not staying even for that?! ;)
Call her doctor and ask about increasing MIL's antidepressant. Happy is good! Maybe a double dose to start with will be enough. I do think it's rotten that you must wait so long to get back in for resipte care. I know - hire a minder for MIL and have BIL pay for it. He blew it and he must pay.
As has been said, take good care of you!
Hugs - Barbara :D
angel_bear
08-23-2005, 07:16 AM
Hey Wannabe,
Let's see if I can give you the gist of Day Care. There are two in town here that I know of. One is run through Aged Care and is Monday - Thursday at a cost of $5 a day. They can send Community transport to pick up, or you can take your precious one there yourself.
The other one that MIL goes through is through the 7th Day Adventist Church (MIL is a Baptist) mainly because she LOVES church, and prayers, and warbling along with hymns. She just loves the fact she's in a church!! So that's ONE good point for her. They play indoor bowls (like lawn bowls) they do pottery (she was an excellent potter in her heyday), they play Music Bingo (they play the song and you find the picture of a bird flying away = bye bye birdie) sing-a-longs of their youthful music (can't wait for my turn when I'm old .. Pink Floyd, AC/DC, Alice Cooper .. LOL). This lot send a bus for her, and also take her at a moments notice (eg: Monday). They have outings on Friday's, which could be anywhere in a 60 minute drive north, south or west. Their days are Monday, Wednesday and Friday, they'll pick up anywhere from 8am (MIL get's picked up by around 8.40am) and home by 2.45pm or thereabouts. The other week she didn't come home until 4pm!
ACAT rang me tonight, and I told them BIL told DH that MIL is having a ball. And she really really does. You mention her 'day with the ladies' and she's full of smiles, and claps and is obviously pleased and happy.
When I tried this Day-Care last year, all hell broke loose. She refused to go, dug her heels in and hated the entire concept. If it doesn't work the first time, give it a break and try again. MIL loves it because she's picked up and it's a 'trip'. She's spent years doing 'Adult Education' day trippers and stuff .. so for her, this is 'normal' and not as invasive as being 'sent away'.
Anyway, that's Day Care in Australia.
Hugs
Sally
Let's see if I can give you the gist of Day Care. There are two in town here that I know of. One is run through Aged Care and is Monday - Thursday at a cost of $5 a day. They can send Community transport to pick up, or you can take your precious one there yourself.
The other one that MIL goes through is through the 7th Day Adventist Church (MIL is a Baptist) mainly because she LOVES church, and prayers, and warbling along with hymns. She just loves the fact she's in a church!! So that's ONE good point for her. They play indoor bowls (like lawn bowls) they do pottery (she was an excellent potter in her heyday), they play Music Bingo (they play the song and you find the picture of a bird flying away = bye bye birdie) sing-a-longs of their youthful music (can't wait for my turn when I'm old .. Pink Floyd, AC/DC, Alice Cooper .. LOL). This lot send a bus for her, and also take her at a moments notice (eg: Monday). They have outings on Friday's, which could be anywhere in a 60 minute drive north, south or west. Their days are Monday, Wednesday and Friday, they'll pick up anywhere from 8am (MIL get's picked up by around 8.40am) and home by 2.45pm or thereabouts. The other week she didn't come home until 4pm!
ACAT rang me tonight, and I told them BIL told DH that MIL is having a ball. And she really really does. You mention her 'day with the ladies' and she's full of smiles, and claps and is obviously pleased and happy.
When I tried this Day-Care last year, all hell broke loose. She refused to go, dug her heels in and hated the entire concept. If it doesn't work the first time, give it a break and try again. MIL loves it because she's picked up and it's a 'trip'. She's spent years doing 'Adult Education' day trippers and stuff .. so for her, this is 'normal' and not as invasive as being 'sent away'.
Anyway, that's Day Care in Australia.
Hugs
Sally
ToBeFreeToRoam
08-24-2005, 01:29 AM
Hi there Sally,
That sounds really nice! What a good place for your MIL to go. I do not think we have anything like that here. But, I had not thought about churches having an adult day care. I may phone around and see if there is any such thing in my parents area?!
The ones that I know of around here, are in the alz care places themselves. You know, I might call our alzheimers association of Houston area. They may know of such a thing, or something similar to that. Yeah, the being picked up at your home, would be much better (for their psyche?) than being dropped off by someone. I will just add that to my list for tomorrow. It is one of my "days off"!
Went to my parents today, to help out and stayed all day. My dad had an appt. with his urologist (that he had the procedure with). He said all is good. (Meaning, he is as good as he is going to get!) The dr. pulled me aside from my parents and said to just call him if anything started going wrong! He gets a much straighter story from me than from them!
Thanks also for the heads up, about trying the day care idea, and then if it does not work, wait 6 mo. and try again. Right?! Sounds reasonable. The way that alzheimers people change so much and change their minds so much, that sounds right on the ticket!
Thanks again, for all the info. Take care. Wannabe
That sounds really nice! What a good place for your MIL to go. I do not think we have anything like that here. But, I had not thought about churches having an adult day care. I may phone around and see if there is any such thing in my parents area?!
The ones that I know of around here, are in the alz care places themselves. You know, I might call our alzheimers association of Houston area. They may know of such a thing, or something similar to that. Yeah, the being picked up at your home, would be much better (for their psyche?) than being dropped off by someone. I will just add that to my list for tomorrow. It is one of my "days off"!
Went to my parents today, to help out and stayed all day. My dad had an appt. with his urologist (that he had the procedure with). He said all is good. (Meaning, he is as good as he is going to get!) The dr. pulled me aside from my parents and said to just call him if anything started going wrong! He gets a much straighter story from me than from them!
Thanks also for the heads up, about trying the day care idea, and then if it does not work, wait 6 mo. and try again. Right?! Sounds reasonable. The way that alzheimers people change so much and change their minds so much, that sounds right on the ticket!
Thanks again, for all the info. Take care. Wannabe
angel_bear
08-24-2005, 01:57 AM
Update on "L".
Poor precious. She applied for a traineeship at the local public hospital. And was unsuccessful in her application. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww (dripping sarcasm if you didn't notice).
Why am I dripping with sarcasm? Because the public hospital doesn't DO traineeships. And I got that straight from the University Nurse Education (I know her personally)The Private Hospital does, but only for Assistants in nursing, and hey .. she hasn't even TRIED since she finished her course in June to gain employment, so she's behind the 8 ball already. Most of her class walked out of College and into a job. It's not that hard. We're in high demand.
However,this goes against her original words which was she would rather go and do the Registered Nursing (and not do the Assistant in Nursing at all) course Distance Education with a University that has a campus at our local college (the friend I know who runs this campus).
It's all smacking of LIES LIES and MORE LIES .... still ...... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But BIL is blissfully unaware I am sure. *sigh*.
Enough complaining, whinging and whining ... I shouldn't be surprised should I?
Hugs
Sally
Poor precious. She applied for a traineeship at the local public hospital. And was unsuccessful in her application. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww (dripping sarcasm if you didn't notice).
Why am I dripping with sarcasm? Because the public hospital doesn't DO traineeships. And I got that straight from the University Nurse Education (I know her personally)The Private Hospital does, but only for Assistants in nursing, and hey .. she hasn't even TRIED since she finished her course in June to gain employment, so she's behind the 8 ball already. Most of her class walked out of College and into a job. It's not that hard. We're in high demand.
However,this goes against her original words which was she would rather go and do the Registered Nursing (and not do the Assistant in Nursing at all) course Distance Education with a University that has a campus at our local college (the friend I know who runs this campus).
It's all smacking of LIES LIES and MORE LIES .... still ...... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But BIL is blissfully unaware I am sure. *sigh*.
Enough complaining, whinging and whining ... I shouldn't be surprised should I?
Hugs
Sally
Georgie03
08-24-2005, 04:42 AM
Sally, I just want to thank you for the biggest laugh I have had in a long time. I read somewhere that an Alzheimer's facility in the US had won a design ward for decorating the entire place as though it was the 1940's, which made the residents all feel completely at home in their prime time - no new-fangled gadgets, radios with knobs on that played 1940's music etc...
There is a lot of value in the idea - I have even taken to cooking "retro" meals for my SIL and she loves them.
But the idea of us (if and when we get there) rocking around to the tune of Alice Cooper, wearing (in my case) purple crushed velvet flares and dog collars is just toooo funny. Talk about a walk on the wild side!!!!!!!!
regards
Georgie
There is a lot of value in the idea - I have even taken to cooking "retro" meals for my SIL and she loves them.
But the idea of us (if and when we get there) rocking around to the tune of Alice Cooper, wearing (in my case) purple crushed velvet flares and dog collars is just toooo funny. Talk about a walk on the wild side!!!!!!!!
regards
Georgie