I will be smoking my last joint tonight. I am trying to let go of a 14 year old addiction to marijuana. It is not easy.

I have done it twice before: once for 6 weeks the other for 1 week. One of my problem is that after being sober for a while, I fool myself into thinking that I can smoke just once without losing control. Of course I always lose control because I am addicted. I want to smoke all the time... :nono: It is never just once...

I have a hard time letting it go. I have been very sad and anxious about giving it up. I am really mourning this change in my life. In a way, mourning is what I need to do to truly get past this addiction but I just wish there was a way around it... I don't want to suffer emotionnally!

But as they say: you have to get in to get out!!! I have to face this challenge head on (and with a clear head!!! ;) )

Tomorrow when I wake up, I will focus on taking it one hour at a time. We will see where that takes me.

Thank you for reading me.

Puffie