Here is my story:

I was in a relationship for 2 years and it ended in April. I finally start to date someone that I was really enjoying being around for about 3 weeks. We had sex with a condom and the condom broke! (That's never happened to me before!)

I asked him immediately if he had anything that I should be aware of....he said, "NO!"

Exactly 10 days later, I started experiencing burning and thought I had a yeast infection. After a couple more days, when the pain was extremely severe, I went to my doctor and she confirmed that I had a very bad case of Herpes. She did a culture, but said that she was convinced.

Okay, so here is my question:

After spending quite a lot of time together, the guy stopped calling as much with excuses surrounding work etc. Of course I'm upset and trying to figure out how to tell him. I'm confident I got it from him and is there anyway he didn't know he had it. I don't want to accuse him, but I'm also afraid he lied to me. Ugh. So many emotions...not sure what to say to him. Can anyone clarify exactly how it is spread? I mean, if he was "shedding", would he have known? Wouldn't he have had an ob before? I'm worried that he had an ob afterwards, hence the not calling. Any insight would be appreciated!

Marneyvette ~
Ok, I'm just speculating here - but what if he knew he had herpes and didn't bother to tell you? Maybe, he was sensing something was up, knew he was to blame, and couldn't be responsible for himself - so he ran. Unfortunately, you can still get herpes - even with a condom, yes even with a condom. Herpes - is a skin-to-skin transmission. Meaning the virus lives in one's body and touches another's delicate area (thinking that you're female - so our below area is extremely suseptible) It may make you feel better to schedule an appt. with your doctor or gyn., to get a blood test taken to find out for sure - what could be going on. That might set your mind at ease, because not knowing - you can drive yourself crazy. Been - there - done - that and it's just not worth it. Or maybe he's one of the millions of people who have it and don't know it ( although - having herpes - that seems impossible) or perhaps - they stay in denial. Anyway, hope this was helpful and good luck and come back here and post anytime - we're all here for each other! Take care, -shinyOrn

There are several possibilities here. Herpes can lay dormant for months, years, decades, or a whole lifetime. So...he may have had it and not known it. You--if you have ever had any sexual contact with anyone not a virgin--may have had it and not known it, and just happened to get your first outbreak then. Or, of course, he may have lied. He may have thought that he couldn't transmit it without an active outbreak. Or he may have just been a jerk. IN any case, he needs to know, since he might have it.

You need to know that condoms do not protect you from herpes. Please read "Happy Couples" (probably on page 2 right now, since I just bumped it up recently) to get some ideas for protecting future partners the best you can. The more you read on this board, the more information you will gather to help you live with this. I've had herpes for about 16 years now, and most of my useful, up-to-date information I have gathered here.

Good luck!