In this past week I found out that my boyfriend has HSV2. He doesn't know that I know this. I went and got an IGG blood test and am waiting for the results. I asked him if he has herpes and he has denied it. I just don't know how to get him to tell me the truth. Any ideas?

Thanks!!! :)

How did you find out?

How did you find out?

That's my question.

If you knew and asked him anyway -- to get him to tell you the truth -- you were being dishonest and I don't think that is a characteristic you want to be a part of your relationship.

Regardless of how you found out -- even if it was by snooping -- and the evidence is concrete, you need to come clean and tell him what you know, how you know and then deal with it together.

As you will see in reading through this board, (1) there is a very real and very unfortunate stigma associated with herpes (and I hope we can all do our best to get rid of the stigma) and he may have been terrified to tell you; (2) many people (especially men) have symptoms so mild that they don't know they have herpes, so they unknowingly pass it to others; (3) and people can have it for months, years AND/OR decades and never get an outbreak so please don't make assumptions about where he got it.

Good luck!

yeah, how did you find out? Did you actually see a piece of paper that says he has it or something? Because I never got a thing in the mail saying I had it, my doc office called and told me rather then send me a piece of paper?

Maybe he doesnt know he has it? Unless you are sure you found a reliable piece of info.

You cant make him come out and tell you, he may be embarassed, he may not know, he may not like to discuss it, some are ashamed and hate speaking of it, others dont mind...there is no way of making him...you just have to learn to 'live' with it really.

Docs can't mail out results without your consent, so it seems unlikely it would come in the mail. The only doc I had that mailed results were my ob/gyn (with consent, as I had to fill out the address on the postcard myself) and my RE (signed a consent form for it) and those were for my pap results from the ob/gyn and initial bloodwork from my RE.

He might not know. My husband gave it to me while having an affair and did not know it until I was diagnosed. He remembers having 2 blisters on his penis and didn't think anything of it because he thought his girlfriend was clean. Remember, some people never have an OB and probably live most of their lives in ignorance of the fact that they are transmitting H to all of their partners.