LS289
08-22-2005, 02:10 AM
What is normal in EATING? in EXERCISING? in OVEREATING? in DRINKING? in everything, really???
I'm asking because last night I went to a BIG dinner for my brother's bday at a steakhouse and ate a lot of food. Bread to start, tomato and buffalo mozzarella salad with olive oil and vinegar, Filet mignon, roasted vegetables, 2 glasses of red wine, a few bites of creme brulee, and a few tiny chocolate mint candies. I let myself feel ok about it b/c it was a celebration, but today I was wondering...do most people compensate the next day after a big meal like that? Do they eat lighter and exercise more? Do they dwell on it? Or is it normal to have a meal like that every once in a while and not have to think twice about it?
Today was my day that I was going to "compensate," but I didn't do such a good job at it. Here is what I ate:
Breakfast-apple, blueberries, banana, lowfat cottage cheese, flaxseed
coffee with nonfat milk
lunch-6 slices turkey with LF pita chips and 1/2 of a tomato
Dinner-big salad with peas, corn, garbanzo beans, tomato and LF dressing
Dessert-nonfat frozen yogurt
And I did not exercise (my muscles felt really tired/sore)...
What about exercise? If I am running 5-6 miles almost everyday now and I eat very healthy, then what happens if I stop? Will I gain a bunch of weight? I exercise all the time, but I have a couple of friends that never go to the gym and seem to eat almost the same as me and don't gain weight. And I know that it all comes down to "calories in, calories out", but what about casually speaking...not technically speaking? If I were to not exercise (or not exercise as much) and eat healthy foods when I'm hungry, then would I most likely be a normal weight? I just get so confused sometimes about what I should be doing or what is normal...WHAT IS NORMAL!???
I'm asking because last night I went to a BIG dinner for my brother's bday at a steakhouse and ate a lot of food. Bread to start, tomato and buffalo mozzarella salad with olive oil and vinegar, Filet mignon, roasted vegetables, 2 glasses of red wine, a few bites of creme brulee, and a few tiny chocolate mint candies. I let myself feel ok about it b/c it was a celebration, but today I was wondering...do most people compensate the next day after a big meal like that? Do they eat lighter and exercise more? Do they dwell on it? Or is it normal to have a meal like that every once in a while and not have to think twice about it?
Today was my day that I was going to "compensate," but I didn't do such a good job at it. Here is what I ate:
Breakfast-apple, blueberries, banana, lowfat cottage cheese, flaxseed
coffee with nonfat milk
lunch-6 slices turkey with LF pita chips and 1/2 of a tomato
Dinner-big salad with peas, corn, garbanzo beans, tomato and LF dressing
Dessert-nonfat frozen yogurt
And I did not exercise (my muscles felt really tired/sore)...
What about exercise? If I am running 5-6 miles almost everyday now and I eat very healthy, then what happens if I stop? Will I gain a bunch of weight? I exercise all the time, but I have a couple of friends that never go to the gym and seem to eat almost the same as me and don't gain weight. And I know that it all comes down to "calories in, calories out", but what about casually speaking...not technically speaking? If I were to not exercise (or not exercise as much) and eat healthy foods when I'm hungry, then would I most likely be a normal weight? I just get so confused sometimes about what I should be doing or what is normal...WHAT IS NORMAL!???
Sponsor
StenoLady1
08-22-2005, 11:48 AM
Hi :wave:
I think everybody's bodies are different and how they've been conditioned, so to speak. I think our jobs play a part in it, too. I have a sedentary job where I sit and I can't even take a drink of water for hours. My hubby is on his feet all day. We're on the same eating plan, and he's lost twice as much as me. I didn't take care of myself when I was younger, and I'm paying for it now. These things IMO all have to be taken into consideration to figure out what is "normal" for you.
I think the proof of this is how some lose weight with only cardio; others need weights or strength training; others need both cardio and weights/strength training. Some do well with low-fat/low-cal; others do well with low-carb or vegetarian.
I think you really just need to listen to your body. If you don't run for a few days and eat your normal diet (which looks great, BTW) and your shorts are tight, you may need to exercise a little more. If you go crazy with food on a holiday or a birthday, listen to your body the next few days and try to figure out what it's telling you.
FWIW, for the past six weeks, I had been eating absolutely no processed foods. I even make my own bread and salad dressings. Well, I had a death in the family on Saturday morning and ate out almost all day on Saturday...not really bad stuff, but like a turkey sandwich on a specialty bread with cheese (boy, have I missed real cheese!), an olive relish and olive oil; some premade low-fat dips and pitas from the store. Man, was my stomach upset the next day! I realized unless I never want to eat out again, I probably should be eating some processed foods just for social purposes. My diet of no processed foods was not "normal" for me, and my body told me so when I ate something that wasn't completely homeade.
HTH...I'm curious to see what others say, too. Very interesting :wave:
Lysne
I think everybody's bodies are different and how they've been conditioned, so to speak. I think our jobs play a part in it, too. I have a sedentary job where I sit and I can't even take a drink of water for hours. My hubby is on his feet all day. We're on the same eating plan, and he's lost twice as much as me. I didn't take care of myself when I was younger, and I'm paying for it now. These things IMO all have to be taken into consideration to figure out what is "normal" for you.
I think the proof of this is how some lose weight with only cardio; others need weights or strength training; others need both cardio and weights/strength training. Some do well with low-fat/low-cal; others do well with low-carb or vegetarian.
I think you really just need to listen to your body. If you don't run for a few days and eat your normal diet (which looks great, BTW) and your shorts are tight, you may need to exercise a little more. If you go crazy with food on a holiday or a birthday, listen to your body the next few days and try to figure out what it's telling you.
FWIW, for the past six weeks, I had been eating absolutely no processed foods. I even make my own bread and salad dressings. Well, I had a death in the family on Saturday morning and ate out almost all day on Saturday...not really bad stuff, but like a turkey sandwich on a specialty bread with cheese (boy, have I missed real cheese!), an olive relish and olive oil; some premade low-fat dips and pitas from the store. Man, was my stomach upset the next day! I realized unless I never want to eat out again, I probably should be eating some processed foods just for social purposes. My diet of no processed foods was not "normal" for me, and my body told me so when I ate something that wasn't completely homeade.
HTH...I'm curious to see what others say, too. Very interesting :wave:
Lysne
tdot
08-22-2005, 02:15 PM
LS,
Normal is NOT thinking about food, exercise, weight, compensation/guilt, good/bad foods ALL THE TIME. I try my best to eat healthy and I am active, but I don't think about it a lot or ever feel the need to compensate. I'm not suggesting that you don't have other things on your mind, but from reading your posts, it seems that you think about the above mentioned things a lot.
Normal is NOT thinking about food, exercise, weight, compensation/guilt, good/bad foods ALL THE TIME. I try my best to eat healthy and I am active, but I don't think about it a lot or ever feel the need to compensate. I'm not suggesting that you don't have other things on your mind, but from reading your posts, it seems that you think about the above mentioned things a lot.
girlygirl11
08-22-2005, 02:17 PM
Normal means not compensating. A celebration is a celebration- it's not going to cause you to gain weight overnight. Normal means that when your muscles are tired, rest and don't feel guilty. Normal means eating junk foods if you crave them or if that's all that's available, and not freaking out because you couldn't eat a super low fat, low cal, high fibre/protein meal/snack. Normal means eating when/what/where you want, how much you want and feeling satisfied that your meal was delicious and satisfying, and NOT thinking about the calories you just ate and how you're going to purge them. Normal means listening to your body- not always your mind- about eating. If you like that cake and you want a slice, go for it..don't punish yourself because your mind tells you it's not an apple. Normal means eating a huge variety of foods- both good and 'bad' and not feeling guilty for eating one thing over another. Normal means only remembering meals for the memories that came with it, and not for their calorie or nutritional content. Normal means trying to eat healthy when possible, but not feeling guilty or upset when its NOT possible or when you crave something else.
If you were to continue what you were eating and not exercise so obsessively, you would most likely NOT gain weight. Your mind would definately tell you that you have, but you wouldn't. You aren't eating that much, and when you do it's extremely healthy, to the point where it's not really..normal. Your celebration meal was VERY healthy and it really was NOT that much...most people would eat that plus a whole creme brulee or other dessert, and not feel guilty at all. And the day afterwards looks VERY healthy, and to a healthy person, that menu WOULD be compensating. There was nothing wrong with what you ate, and it wasn't that much. The fact that you're tried after doing the exercise you've been doing for a while suggests youre doing TOO MUCH. I highly recommend you cut down on exercise- run only every other day, and don't double up on those days either. Your body NEEDS to rest and you can't keep running it so strictly- its exhausting and is clearly putting a strain on your- physically and mentally.
If you were to continue what you were eating and not exercise so obsessively, you would most likely NOT gain weight. Your mind would definately tell you that you have, but you wouldn't. You aren't eating that much, and when you do it's extremely healthy, to the point where it's not really..normal. Your celebration meal was VERY healthy and it really was NOT that much...most people would eat that plus a whole creme brulee or other dessert, and not feel guilty at all. And the day afterwards looks VERY healthy, and to a healthy person, that menu WOULD be compensating. There was nothing wrong with what you ate, and it wasn't that much. The fact that you're tried after doing the exercise you've been doing for a while suggests youre doing TOO MUCH. I highly recommend you cut down on exercise- run only every other day, and don't double up on those days either. Your body NEEDS to rest and you can't keep running it so strictly- its exhausting and is clearly putting a strain on your- physically and mentally.
Jess75
08-23-2005, 12:58 PM
Yes, the others are right. You do NOT eat enough and you do too much cardio. I would try weight training and less cardio to prevent muscle loss which is probably occuring since your underweight for your height.
LS289
08-23-2005, 02:56 PM
I know I eat very healthy MOST of the time, but that is what makes me feel good! And so does running! I am thin, but I honestly don't think it is because I undernourish myself. Maybe my view of "healthy" is just THAT skewed, but I really don't think so.
I try not to think about food/exercise too much, but then I think about not thinking about it and I end up thinking about it more! It's like an obsession. And it's not an obsession in the sense that I won't eat or I run 10 miles a day, it's just that I like what I do and how I feel, so I want to keep things the same, ya know?
I try not to think about food/exercise too much, but then I think about not thinking about it and I end up thinking about it more! It's like an obsession. And it's not an obsession in the sense that I won't eat or I run 10 miles a day, it's just that I like what I do and how I feel, so I want to keep things the same, ya know?
girlygirl11
08-23-2005, 05:16 PM
Except you don't..really.. I mean, you do like the idea of yourself being thin, but at the same time the thought of gaining even an ounce nearly cripples you. And it's clear that you don't enjoy feeling restricted to this diet that you've created for yourself, because if you didn't you wouldn't keep thinking and worrying and posting about it.
You know very well that calories in must equal calories out in order to maintain a certain weight. Since you are underweight, you aren't getting enough calories IN. Jessicca is right- you need to cut back on cardio and start building up a little muscle so you don't ruin your body completely. YES, the scale will change, because muscle weighs more than fat, but you won't change physically (albeit being more toned and lean). Although I know you will probably have a lot of trouble with the numbers rising, for whatever reason. You don't eat enough for the exercise you do. Whether you take that to mean that you should cut back on exercise or you should eat more is up to you, but you aren't healthy if you are underweight, no matter what you may think of yourself physically..
Are you seeing anyone regarding your problems? I'm not being mean, but I really think that seeing a therapist (a good one) and a doctor or nutritionist (or both) would really help you out. You may not want to face the fact that there is a problem, and there may not be in some people's opinions, but it is fast getting there, and you aren't really doing your body good.. please see a professional for some personal help..
You know very well that calories in must equal calories out in order to maintain a certain weight. Since you are underweight, you aren't getting enough calories IN. Jessicca is right- you need to cut back on cardio and start building up a little muscle so you don't ruin your body completely. YES, the scale will change, because muscle weighs more than fat, but you won't change physically (albeit being more toned and lean). Although I know you will probably have a lot of trouble with the numbers rising, for whatever reason. You don't eat enough for the exercise you do. Whether you take that to mean that you should cut back on exercise or you should eat more is up to you, but you aren't healthy if you are underweight, no matter what you may think of yourself physically..
Are you seeing anyone regarding your problems? I'm not being mean, but I really think that seeing a therapist (a good one) and a doctor or nutritionist (or both) would really help you out. You may not want to face the fact that there is a problem, and there may not be in some people's opinions, but it is fast getting there, and you aren't really doing your body good.. please see a professional for some personal help..
Piscean33
08-23-2005, 08:55 PM
LS, I always used ask that same question "what is normal?" And really from what I have learned there is no "normal". Everyone is so different. Everyone's bodies needs different amounts of food and different amounts of exercise. But girlygirl and everyone else is right....worrying excessively about weight, food, calories, exercise, etc. is not normal. What I'm saying is as far as "amounts" go with exercise and food varies ALOT from person to person. But behavior wise "normal" is just like girlygirl said. Eating what you want, when you want, and how much of it you want without worrying or feeling guilty about it. I still struggle with this at times but I'm getting MUCH better here lately. For supper I just downed a whole big plate of whole wheat pasta w/ ground turkey and marinara sauce and a side salad and I'm full and satisfied and not beating myself up about it. It feels good to let go :D . Plus all of the other stuff I've ate today like ice cream too. I've come to realize it's really OK! And it's not worth it to worry so much about it. Yeah, I may gain some weight...so what I need to! I'm still only 102lbs when I should weigh at LEAST 106 at the lowest. I'm learning to listen to my body and totally throw out my "diet mentality". I eat when I'm hungry, what I'm hungry for and until I've had enough of it. Then I move on and try my hardest not to dwell on it for the rest of the day. If those thoughts do creep into my head I just push them back out again and tell myself "It's not worth worrying about!!" It's hard, I know but think about how much happier you would be if you just let go and didn't obsess over it anymore. Wouldn't it be nice? Well only you can make that happen! I would HIGHLY recommend getting the book "Intuitive Eating: A recovery guide for the chronic dieter" and reading it cover to cover and following everything it says to do. That book has helped me more than anything has. I know you want to change. You wouldn't post so much on here if you didn't. So my advice to you is to find that book...I got mine on Ebay for like $2.50 and read it. I feel like that book has changed my life. I didn't think it would have such a huge impact on me but it did and I'm so happy I bought it. Take care and hang in there ok? ((hugs))
LS289
08-24-2005, 10:32 PM
I am going to buy that book.
I really need to get over comparing myself to others and how much they exercise, what they eat, when they eat, etc. I have so many guidelines for myself. If it's a weird time I don't like eating, even if I'm hungry (like 3:30pm, for example) I don't like to eat or if I'm with someone who isn't hungry, but I am, I don't like to eat. Things like that....
It makes spontanaeity really difficult.
Tonight, for example, I made a shmorgasbord for dinner and now I feel bad about it, but WHY!? Here is what I ate:
Baked pita chips(??) with 2tbs hummus (70), 1/3 cup cottage cheese(70), Bowl of chicken noodle soup (200), tomato and cucumber salad with balsamic vinegar (40), and 1/3 cup of chickpea, reducd fat feta, and olive salad (??).
The thoughts running through my head are: 1. I didn't exercise today, 2. My friends that I ate lunch with (we ate the same thing) probably ate less for dinner than I did, 3. I ate a sandwich for lunch so should not have eaten all those pita chips and 4. I'm definitely going to gain weight.
The thing is, logically I know that all of those things are so insignificant and I'm not going to gain weight, but I almost feel like there is this competetive voice inside of me that thinks "you could/should be thinner" and "you should be eating less." It's so absolutely frustrating. But it's not as if I starve myself because of it - I just TORMENT myself.
Girlygirl is right - I think i should talk to a professional about this. I was talking to a therapist a little while ago, but stopped b/c I thought everything was fine.
The other thing is, everyone who I see thinks I look so great and I'm so healthy and it's so great that I run 5 miles a day...they see nothing wrong with it! So it encourages me.
Sometimes I think I need to change, but other times I think that I am fine and I am just extremely healthy and there is nothing wrong with that....
I really need to get over comparing myself to others and how much they exercise, what they eat, when they eat, etc. I have so many guidelines for myself. If it's a weird time I don't like eating, even if I'm hungry (like 3:30pm, for example) I don't like to eat or if I'm with someone who isn't hungry, but I am, I don't like to eat. Things like that....
It makes spontanaeity really difficult.
Tonight, for example, I made a shmorgasbord for dinner and now I feel bad about it, but WHY!? Here is what I ate:
Baked pita chips(??) with 2tbs hummus (70), 1/3 cup cottage cheese(70), Bowl of chicken noodle soup (200), tomato and cucumber salad with balsamic vinegar (40), and 1/3 cup of chickpea, reducd fat feta, and olive salad (??).
The thoughts running through my head are: 1. I didn't exercise today, 2. My friends that I ate lunch with (we ate the same thing) probably ate less for dinner than I did, 3. I ate a sandwich for lunch so should not have eaten all those pita chips and 4. I'm definitely going to gain weight.
The thing is, logically I know that all of those things are so insignificant and I'm not going to gain weight, but I almost feel like there is this competetive voice inside of me that thinks "you could/should be thinner" and "you should be eating less." It's so absolutely frustrating. But it's not as if I starve myself because of it - I just TORMENT myself.
Girlygirl is right - I think i should talk to a professional about this. I was talking to a therapist a little while ago, but stopped b/c I thought everything was fine.
The other thing is, everyone who I see thinks I look so great and I'm so healthy and it's so great that I run 5 miles a day...they see nothing wrong with it! So it encourages me.
Sometimes I think I need to change, but other times I think that I am fine and I am just extremely healthy and there is nothing wrong with that....
girlygirl11
08-24-2005, 11:12 PM
1. Normal people don't exercise everyday- and why should exercise have anything to do with what you ate, if, according to you, you simply work out because you enjoy it?
2. Your friends, 99.9999% guaranteed, has more than you did for dinner, and 100% guaranteed did not have second thoughts about ANYTHING they had, especially in comparison to others or in comparison to the other food they've eaten that day.
3. What does a sandwich have to do with pita chips? It's not like you had any other starch in your dinner, and a sandwich is a great lunch. In fact, I'll bet there are people (maybe even one of those aforementioned friends) who would/did have a whole plate of pasta for dinner and didn't think twice.
4. Why would you gain ANY weight? Because you ATE? Because you didn't get a chance to burn off what little you ate? It doesn't work that way (and you KNOW that!)..you didn't each TOO much (you barely ate enough), and it was super healthy...there is no logical way that you could gain legitimate weight based on this meal (on ANY meal!)
You definately need to see a professional..if therapy isn't for you, try seeing a nutritionist or a doctor. Or maybe look into support groups...even if its for eating disorders, and you feel you aren't completely there, some things could be of use to you to hear/discuss. At least try out your options..
People also think that celebrities look great and awesome, and celebs love to give off the idea that it is all natural (ie/ they eat TONS..they don't exercise and they are completely normal). Truth be told, we believe it because we'd like to think it was that easy..it's not though. People admire them for their bodies and looks and wish for them and don't like to think that such an appearance takes 2 hours in the gym everyday and constant haircuts, waxings, manircures, etc. And its not our JOB to look like them, so why follow in their footsteps, or even aspire to be like them? They aren't happy..sure they give off that appearance, but to be honest, the happiest I've ever seen ANY celebrity EVER (genuinely so) is when they are pregnant. They get to eat whatever they want, not exercise and be themselves.
What I'm trying to get you to see is that people may compliment you, and you in turn use that as motivation, but you don't realize (or you do, and are ignoring it) that it's ruining your life. Not to sound melodramatic, but do you honestly think that the people that admire you for your looks would do so if they knew what goes on in your head and what you feel you need to do to achieve that? Doubtful.. I'd say 99.99% of the population respects and admires a woman who is confident in her own skin and is happy with who she is (regardless of her weight or appearance) moreso than a woman who is thin and beautiful but cannot eat out with friends or enjoy a vacation or meal or get together because she is so preoccupied with food, herself and exercise.
You are extremely healthy but it is to the point where it is unhealthy. I am not a doctor, but I would say you are orthorexic- obsessed with a healthy lifestyle (eating and exercise) and your body, to the point where it is problematic. You need to seek some sort of help, in whatever form you find most helpful..you DO need to change, but not because it's 'normal', rather because it's HEALTHY and you will be HAPPIER. Listen to Piscean when she tells you how 'letting go' has changed her life and made her infinately happier...
2. Your friends, 99.9999% guaranteed, has more than you did for dinner, and 100% guaranteed did not have second thoughts about ANYTHING they had, especially in comparison to others or in comparison to the other food they've eaten that day.
3. What does a sandwich have to do with pita chips? It's not like you had any other starch in your dinner, and a sandwich is a great lunch. In fact, I'll bet there are people (maybe even one of those aforementioned friends) who would/did have a whole plate of pasta for dinner and didn't think twice.
4. Why would you gain ANY weight? Because you ATE? Because you didn't get a chance to burn off what little you ate? It doesn't work that way (and you KNOW that!)..you didn't each TOO much (you barely ate enough), and it was super healthy...there is no logical way that you could gain legitimate weight based on this meal (on ANY meal!)
You definately need to see a professional..if therapy isn't for you, try seeing a nutritionist or a doctor. Or maybe look into support groups...even if its for eating disorders, and you feel you aren't completely there, some things could be of use to you to hear/discuss. At least try out your options..
People also think that celebrities look great and awesome, and celebs love to give off the idea that it is all natural (ie/ they eat TONS..they don't exercise and they are completely normal). Truth be told, we believe it because we'd like to think it was that easy..it's not though. People admire them for their bodies and looks and wish for them and don't like to think that such an appearance takes 2 hours in the gym everyday and constant haircuts, waxings, manircures, etc. And its not our JOB to look like them, so why follow in their footsteps, or even aspire to be like them? They aren't happy..sure they give off that appearance, but to be honest, the happiest I've ever seen ANY celebrity EVER (genuinely so) is when they are pregnant. They get to eat whatever they want, not exercise and be themselves.
What I'm trying to get you to see is that people may compliment you, and you in turn use that as motivation, but you don't realize (or you do, and are ignoring it) that it's ruining your life. Not to sound melodramatic, but do you honestly think that the people that admire you for your looks would do so if they knew what goes on in your head and what you feel you need to do to achieve that? Doubtful.. I'd say 99.99% of the population respects and admires a woman who is confident in her own skin and is happy with who she is (regardless of her weight or appearance) moreso than a woman who is thin and beautiful but cannot eat out with friends or enjoy a vacation or meal or get together because she is so preoccupied with food, herself and exercise.
You are extremely healthy but it is to the point where it is unhealthy. I am not a doctor, but I would say you are orthorexic- obsessed with a healthy lifestyle (eating and exercise) and your body, to the point where it is problematic. You need to seek some sort of help, in whatever form you find most helpful..you DO need to change, but not because it's 'normal', rather because it's HEALTHY and you will be HAPPIER. Listen to Piscean when she tells you how 'letting go' has changed her life and made her infinately happier...
Magnolia29
08-25-2005, 12:54 AM
girlygirl... you are seriously SO amazing with all of your advice!! How did you get this brilliant!? Thats why you were the first person i asked when i needed some advice. When I read your posts, i just feel like a stronger person inside and out!! Keep up the good work! You should have your own dr. phil type show!!
girlygirl11
08-25-2005, 04:48 PM
lol thanks magnolia! It's not that I'm brilliant I'm just speaking from experience and knowledge I've accquired in the last few years. I worry sometimes that I'm too harsh sounding but I just want people to understand the truth and not to delude themselves with the same things I used to..a lot of the things I say are things I've worked on changing in my own mind!
LS289
08-29-2005, 11:56 PM
I don't think you sound harsh at all. Part of the reason I like your responses is because you are blunt and you cut to the chase. You tell me what I need to hear and you don't sugar-coat it.
I just got back from a short trip to NY (only about 4 days) during which I did not exercise, I ate out with friends, and I was unable to sit and dwell on food. I am not going to say it was totally easy, because it was not...I became very anxious one day that I could not exercise and I felt like I was gaining weight (even though we ate normal meals - not even very heavy ones - and walked all day around the city).
However, I also realized how normal and wonderful it felt to just kick back and relax about exercise, eat a meal and enjoy the company around me, and to not obsess about the fact that I ate "3 pieces of toast instead of 2 with my omelette."
I feel like I am on the fence and am about to jump over to the "normal" side, but something keeps pulling me back. I just need something to push me over.
Your advice, girlygirl, and Piscean (and everyone for that matter) has really made a difference. You can't see me, you can't see what I eat, etc, yet you can tell by my psychology and the thoughts that run through my head that SOMETHING is wrong, which is the crux of the matter. Thank you for being so supportive and for inspiring me to get past this obsession...if that's what it is.
I just got back from a short trip to NY (only about 4 days) during which I did not exercise, I ate out with friends, and I was unable to sit and dwell on food. I am not going to say it was totally easy, because it was not...I became very anxious one day that I could not exercise and I felt like I was gaining weight (even though we ate normal meals - not even very heavy ones - and walked all day around the city).
However, I also realized how normal and wonderful it felt to just kick back and relax about exercise, eat a meal and enjoy the company around me, and to not obsess about the fact that I ate "3 pieces of toast instead of 2 with my omelette."
I feel like I am on the fence and am about to jump over to the "normal" side, but something keeps pulling me back. I just need something to push me over.
Your advice, girlygirl, and Piscean (and everyone for that matter) has really made a difference. You can't see me, you can't see what I eat, etc, yet you can tell by my psychology and the thoughts that run through my head that SOMETHING is wrong, which is the crux of the matter. Thank you for being so supportive and for inspiring me to get past this obsession...if that's what it is.
Lenin
08-30-2005, 10:01 AM
Unfortunately "normal" is illusory. After all "normal" in Mississippi has 1/3 of the population obese. "Normal" has nearly a million people a year dying of heart disease in the U.S.
"Healthy" is a better goal than normal.
I try to compensate for a high calorie day with lower calorie days to follow so that my caloric average stays below 2300 calories/day because my goal is very slow weight loss...2 pounds a month or thereabouts.
"Healthy" is a better goal than normal.
I try to compensate for a high calorie day with lower calorie days to follow so that my caloric average stays below 2300 calories/day because my goal is very slow weight loss...2 pounds a month or thereabouts.
girlygirl11
08-30-2005, 11:46 AM
Hi Lenin- thanks for the input, but I'm not sure you're completely on par with the situation here.. because you are losing weight, you tend to compensate for heavier days..the thing is, healthy people who maintain their weight tend to not do that, because they also tend to not calorie count or worry about some average. I agree that 'healthy' is a better goal than 'normal', given that normal is really just based on perspective, but the general consensus among us on this thread is that normal is not over nor underweight, nor is is compensating or counting calories or worry about every morsel you ate. I wouldn't even say that 'normal', in any place, could be considered obesity- yes, it could be the norm, but that is not normal. Normal, in this thread, to us at least, means eating and thinking healthfully, without worrying about compensating or whatnot (especially because most times, people who have a few disordered ideas about eating tend to see healthy, reasonable daily menus as overeating, leading to unneccessary and borderline unhealthy weightloss.
LS- I'm so proud of you for going away and doing so well! You definately don't have to worry about a thing- walking around all day on a trip DEFINATELY more than makes up the exercise you'd normally do. It's so great you were able to eat and let go, even if just for a few meals. It kind of gives you a taste for how great life is when every day is like that, doesn't it? You are doing really well- just try to apply your vacation mentality to your everyday life (slowly but surely!)..And of course Piscean and I woudl support you- in my opinion at least, you remind me of me! So as I'm telling you to do this or that or belive this or that, a lot of it is coming from my own reassurances to myself a while back! That's also why I feel I understand you well even though we've never met or whatnot. That push over the fence will come...you just need a little motivation to do the right thing, do what's healthy for you. It could be anything..I find that sometimes just reading a magazine or something, a new idea or concept will hit me that makes me think that what I'm doing or thinking (re: food or my body) isn't right and it isn't helping me any.. so just keep working towards yoru goal and keep challenging everything you think or feel, because eventually you'll hit upon the right thoughts :)
LS- I'm so proud of you for going away and doing so well! You definately don't have to worry about a thing- walking around all day on a trip DEFINATELY more than makes up the exercise you'd normally do. It's so great you were able to eat and let go, even if just for a few meals. It kind of gives you a taste for how great life is when every day is like that, doesn't it? You are doing really well- just try to apply your vacation mentality to your everyday life (slowly but surely!)..And of course Piscean and I woudl support you- in my opinion at least, you remind me of me! So as I'm telling you to do this or that or belive this or that, a lot of it is coming from my own reassurances to myself a while back! That's also why I feel I understand you well even though we've never met or whatnot. That push over the fence will come...you just need a little motivation to do the right thing, do what's healthy for you. It could be anything..I find that sometimes just reading a magazine or something, a new idea or concept will hit me that makes me think that what I'm doing or thinking (re: food or my body) isn't right and it isn't helping me any.. so just keep working towards yoru goal and keep challenging everything you think or feel, because eventually you'll hit upon the right thoughts :)
Piscean33
08-30-2005, 07:08 PM
LS, I'm glad you enjoyed your vacation and I'm glad you got a taste of what it's like to "let go". Nice, huh? I also felt like you do for a long time and I still do at times. I wouldn't consider myself 100% recovered now, maybe more like 75% :). I like how you put it....on a fence about ready to jump over to the "normal" side but something keeps pulling you back. What you have to realize is it's YOU that keeps pulling you back. You are doing so well though and I can really tell you are making progress. Recovering from an obsession like this (ED or whatever you want to call it) is a hard process. It takes alot of determination and you have to really want it to accomplish it. I know you do and you are determined. Something that has helped me tremendously is school. I'm a psych major and I spend alot of time just reading psych related books and articles and just learning as much as I can about the subject because it completely fascinates me. You could try finding a subject you are interested in or something you've always wanted to do and do that in your free time. It's important to keep yourself busy and your mind off of everything that's bothering you or stressing you out. I've found by keeping myself busy I think of food and exercise ALOT less than what I used to. It takes up probably only 10-15% of my thoughts during the day when it used to take up almost 50% or more! I'm glad you find me and Girlygirl's advice so helpful. That's what we are here for. Keep up the good work!
LS289
08-31-2005, 02:03 AM
I am going to be embarking on a big "vacation," so to speak, in a couple of weeks (moving to a new country for several months). This whole summer has just been down time leading up to this transition and that is why I've had a lot of time to sit around and do nothing (except obsess about food and exercise and my body). Even though I am EXTREMELY anxious about this move b/c it will disrupt my comfortable routine, etc, I am also extremely excited b/c it will give me more to do and think about than just my weight. I will be in a new environment, be learning new things, and won't have a chance to worry about petty things. It's sort of the same as your being completely enthralled by your psych readings, Piscean.
I am starting to understand that "normal" is absolutely 100% different for each person. For example, I worked in an office this summer for a few months and every single morning one of my coworkers would come in with a Venti Caramel frappuccino from Starbucks. Those things have tons of sugar and calories, but it was just her routine to get one every morning. And she wasn't fat or anything - totally normal. So then why, I ask, do I HATE my obsession with frozen yogurt. If I get it a few nights in a row I feel disgusting and force myself to back off. So I go through spurts of not getting it for a week, then getting it for a week straight. What's so wrong with loving something and getting every night, if I want - especially if I'm not fat!?!? Absolutely nothing, right??? I got some tonight after dinner with Reeses on top (they put a lot of them:) and I feel fine right now - not too full. But I still feel sort of like I should be compensating tomorrow. But don't worry - I won't. I realize that it is normal to have eaten that and I will not get fat. Besides, I ran 5 miles today! I need to start putting things in perspective.
The thing that scares me about moving in a couple of weeks is the fact that I won't be able to perform my regular exercise routine everyday (at least at first). Do you think that if I don't exercise a lot for a couple of weeks I will gain weight? I'm sure I will be walking around a lot, but I am used to running at least 5 miles at least 5 times a week. As long as I am reassured that I will stay the same, I will be fine.
Girlygirl - did you have an eating disorder at one point? Do you consider yourself a completely normal eater at this point?
I am starting to understand that "normal" is absolutely 100% different for each person. For example, I worked in an office this summer for a few months and every single morning one of my coworkers would come in with a Venti Caramel frappuccino from Starbucks. Those things have tons of sugar and calories, but it was just her routine to get one every morning. And she wasn't fat or anything - totally normal. So then why, I ask, do I HATE my obsession with frozen yogurt. If I get it a few nights in a row I feel disgusting and force myself to back off. So I go through spurts of not getting it for a week, then getting it for a week straight. What's so wrong with loving something and getting every night, if I want - especially if I'm not fat!?!? Absolutely nothing, right??? I got some tonight after dinner with Reeses on top (they put a lot of them:) and I feel fine right now - not too full. But I still feel sort of like I should be compensating tomorrow. But don't worry - I won't. I realize that it is normal to have eaten that and I will not get fat. Besides, I ran 5 miles today! I need to start putting things in perspective.
The thing that scares me about moving in a couple of weeks is the fact that I won't be able to perform my regular exercise routine everyday (at least at first). Do you think that if I don't exercise a lot for a couple of weeks I will gain weight? I'm sure I will be walking around a lot, but I am used to running at least 5 miles at least 5 times a week. As long as I am reassured that I will stay the same, I will be fine.
Girlygirl - did you have an eating disorder at one point? Do you consider yourself a completely normal eater at this point?
girlygirl11
08-31-2005, 01:30 PM
Hey LS..just a quick note
In response to your question- no, you won't gain weight if you don't exercise. You will also probably be moving things and walking and touring the new city/country so you will be exercising without realizing it! But even if you're not- you won't gain weight. Embrace the change because I think it will be good for you :)
I did have an eating disorder and I don't necessarily consider myself completely normal. I still avoid eating certain foods when possible, and am constantly aware of what I eat. Although I don't always act on the feelings or ideas, they are still there, sometimes stronger than other times. I would consider myself normal in the aspect that I don't really go nuts with healthy eating and junk..I mean I have a fairly good balance of good and 'bad' and I'm not one to really cut out an entire food- I kinda just focus on the amount or calories rather than the FOOD ya know? But yeah, so I wouldn't say I'm completely normal in terms of eating but I wouldn't say it's that bad either..lol
In response to your question- no, you won't gain weight if you don't exercise. You will also probably be moving things and walking and touring the new city/country so you will be exercising without realizing it! But even if you're not- you won't gain weight. Embrace the change because I think it will be good for you :)
I did have an eating disorder and I don't necessarily consider myself completely normal. I still avoid eating certain foods when possible, and am constantly aware of what I eat. Although I don't always act on the feelings or ideas, they are still there, sometimes stronger than other times. I would consider myself normal in the aspect that I don't really go nuts with healthy eating and junk..I mean I have a fairly good balance of good and 'bad' and I'm not one to really cut out an entire food- I kinda just focus on the amount or calories rather than the FOOD ya know? But yeah, so I wouldn't say I'm completely normal in terms of eating but I wouldn't say it's that bad either..lol
LS289
08-31-2005, 02:14 PM
Do you ever think there will be a day when you do not give one single thought to food? Or do you think that once you have a disorder you always have some residual feelings, no matter what???
I'm still thinking about that frozen yogurt with the tons of Reeses that I got last night and wondering why I just ate a gigantic breakfast: 1/2 of a whole wheat pita (90), 5 egg whites (65), 1/2 a tomato (20), 1 slice FF cheese (30), 1/2 c.cottage cheese (100), grapes (?), blueberries (30), and nectarine (50) with 1tbs flaxseed (30), and then some handfuls of GoLean Crunch cereal (??)....and I wasn't even starving!!!!
I guess all I can say is, at least it was all healthy stuff.........
I'll try not to beat myself up over it.
I'm still thinking about that frozen yogurt with the tons of Reeses that I got last night and wondering why I just ate a gigantic breakfast: 1/2 of a whole wheat pita (90), 5 egg whites (65), 1/2 a tomato (20), 1 slice FF cheese (30), 1/2 c.cottage cheese (100), grapes (?), blueberries (30), and nectarine (50) with 1tbs flaxseed (30), and then some handfuls of GoLean Crunch cereal (??)....and I wasn't even starving!!!!
I guess all I can say is, at least it was all healthy stuff.........
I'll try not to beat myself up over it.
LS289
08-31-2005, 09:52 PM
So I ate that for breakfast (and considered it lunch, too) and then had some leftovers from last night for dinner: some gyro meat and chicken with yogurt sauce, a little bit of rice, and steamed broccoli and cauliflower.
Honestly, I don't know what is wrong with me. I feel AWFUL right now. Physically I am perfectly full - not too full and definitely not hugnry - but mentally I feel like I overate. I didn't exercise today, either, which is probably a big reason why I feel this way. I also think the gyro meat has a lot of fat in it.
I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I can't help it. I don't know what is wrong with me...I should have gone for a run....and I shouldn't be obsessing over this!!!
Honestly, I don't know what is wrong with me. I feel AWFUL right now. Physically I am perfectly full - not too full and definitely not hugnry - but mentally I feel like I overate. I didn't exercise today, either, which is probably a big reason why I feel this way. I also think the gyro meat has a lot of fat in it.
I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I can't help it. I don't know what is wrong with me...I should have gone for a run....and I shouldn't be obsessing over this!!!
girlygirl11
09-01-2005, 10:37 AM
LS you didn't overeat at all. You had 2 meals- less than most people have in a diet, even! It was all healthy too. Even if the gyro meat has a lot of fat, does it matter? What does asking the nutritional info for it accomplish? It'll just make you feel more guilty won't it? Why stress yourself out worrying about it, especially cuz the meal is gone and passed and it's a new day already (at least it is where I am). You KNOW that you shouldn't be worrying about it but you still do! You need to tell yourself-reassure yourself- that NOTHING was wrong with the way you ate or how you didn't exercise. I, or anyone on the boards could say anything, but nothing will reassure you more than yourself. If you tell yourself that you WONT GAIN WEIGHT from one meal (even if you have to think of the logistics- is it physically possible to? No.) or one day, and that you really didn't eat a lot, and that not exercising is a way of life for most. Once you are able to reassure yourself and believe it, and not give into the other voices, then you will REALLY be ok, because that just paves the way to stopping the obsession and being happy and healthy.
LS289
09-03-2005, 01:59 AM
Speaking of "normality," how do you think I did today? It felt pretty "normal".....
Breakfast: Banana, blueberries, grande nonfat latte
Lunch: Vegetarian chili with sourdough roll (about the size of a baseball)
Dinner: Salad with tomato, carrots, peas, corn, cucumber, beets, lowcal dressing and a few pita chips
Dessert: Frozen yogurt with plain cheerios on top and half of a homemade chocolate chip cookie (absolutely irresistible!!!)
EXERCISE: Ran about 3 miles
Breakfast: Banana, blueberries, grande nonfat latte
Lunch: Vegetarian chili with sourdough roll (about the size of a baseball)
Dinner: Salad with tomato, carrots, peas, corn, cucumber, beets, lowcal dressing and a few pita chips
Dessert: Frozen yogurt with plain cheerios on top and half of a homemade chocolate chip cookie (absolutely irresistible!!!)
EXERCISE: Ran about 3 miles
girlygirl11
09-03-2005, 11:05 AM
It was good, but light as usual. The key to 'normality' is how you felt. If you didn't feel guilty about eating this or that, or you didn't try to 'compensate' for something, then that's healthy and great..but if you did then it's still not 'normal'.
LS289
09-03-2005, 01:36 PM
I felt really good and I felt like I ate normally, but I actually DID feel guilty about the chocolate chip cookie. If you minus that, though, I think I did pretty well.
amo
09-04-2005, 10:38 AM
I hate to "but" in, but I am wondering how "normal" it is to regularly ask people if what you eat is "normal." I think that is a pretty clear indication in and of itself.
I totally agree with the idea that, what is normal is different for everyone.
Girlygirl is totally right that you just need to think about how you feel...but it seems like you have a hard time with that. Even if you feel great AND you ran, you'll still feel bad about the sweet you ate.
Can you go thru a day without counting calories?
I know, I do it too, but it seems that for how active you are, and how extremely healthfully you eat, you don't need to be so strict with yourself.
It would seem to me that there is something else going on with you that maybe isn't about food...I don't know.
I can say for sure that you eat VERY well (ie. healthy), if only a little wanting in the calorie department.
take care
I totally agree with the idea that, what is normal is different for everyone.
Girlygirl is totally right that you just need to think about how you feel...but it seems like you have a hard time with that. Even if you feel great AND you ran, you'll still feel bad about the sweet you ate.
Can you go thru a day without counting calories?
I know, I do it too, but it seems that for how active you are, and how extremely healthfully you eat, you don't need to be so strict with yourself.
It would seem to me that there is something else going on with you that maybe isn't about food...I don't know.
I can say for sure that you eat VERY well (ie. healthy), if only a little wanting in the calorie department.
take care
LS289
09-04-2005, 07:27 PM
I definitely admit that I think about food a lot and I constantly need reassurance about what I eat and how much I exercise, but I am trying to get a little more lax with myself.
Today, for example, I had a big sub sandwich for lunch (turkey, lettuce, tom, bread, sauce) and then this afternoon had a big frozen yogurt with some reeses peanut butter cups on it AND a chocolate chip cookie. I am stuffed now, but not without guilt. I feel good that I let myself indulge b/c I was really craving everything that I ate, but I also feel sort of disgusting (didn't exercise today either). I know that most of the time I eat very healthfully, and, therefore, should be able to eat the occasional "bad" thing and feel ok about it, but I can't always do that.
Sitting here thinking about how fattening that chocolate chip cookie was and how full I feel right now just eats away at me (no pun intended). I just don't see how it could be possible for me to eat things like that on a regular basis and not get fat...
Today, for example, I had a big sub sandwich for lunch (turkey, lettuce, tom, bread, sauce) and then this afternoon had a big frozen yogurt with some reeses peanut butter cups on it AND a chocolate chip cookie. I am stuffed now, but not without guilt. I feel good that I let myself indulge b/c I was really craving everything that I ate, but I also feel sort of disgusting (didn't exercise today either). I know that most of the time I eat very healthfully, and, therefore, should be able to eat the occasional "bad" thing and feel ok about it, but I can't always do that.
Sitting here thinking about how fattening that chocolate chip cookie was and how full I feel right now just eats away at me (no pun intended). I just don't see how it could be possible for me to eat things like that on a regular basis and not get fat...
girlygirl11
09-04-2005, 09:29 PM
LS, I'll give you a lowdown on what I ate today- no exercise at ALL either (not that I usually do..).
B: raisin bran with soymilk
wonderbread (white! oooooooo) with margarine
yogurt
cantaloupe
L: turkey/cheese sandwich
milk
grapes
cookies (2 big italian style ones)
S: cottage cheese, 2 cheesestrings, a peach
D: Quarter chicken with gravy for dipping
salad with rasp. vinaigrette
roasted veggies
S: ice cream cone (full fat ice cream)
cheese
Don't feel guilty, am not overly full. I won't gain weight either. You are a) much taller than me and b) need to still gain weight, so you eating a sub and frozen yogurt and a cookie is nothing. It really isn't. The previous poster is right with everything she said..it is hard to start telling yourself different things, but you really need to try. Don't give in to the guilt- when it comes up THINK LOGICALLY and convince yourself otherwise. You do not have to exercise obsessively to eat things that are not even 'bad' for you! Youve still got a long way to go, but keep working on it..
(P.S. I've got a nice big blueberry muffin waiting for breakfast, with a nice sugar-crumb topping. I'm looking fwd to it and prolly won't feel an ounce of guilt after eating it because I need to eat breakfast and I want to have it. It's also physically impossible to gain weight from A MUFFIN, just like it is a cookie or frozen yogurt, regardless of activity.)
B: raisin bran with soymilk
wonderbread (white! oooooooo) with margarine
yogurt
cantaloupe
L: turkey/cheese sandwich
milk
grapes
cookies (2 big italian style ones)
S: cottage cheese, 2 cheesestrings, a peach
D: Quarter chicken with gravy for dipping
salad with rasp. vinaigrette
roasted veggies
S: ice cream cone (full fat ice cream)
cheese
Don't feel guilty, am not overly full. I won't gain weight either. You are a) much taller than me and b) need to still gain weight, so you eating a sub and frozen yogurt and a cookie is nothing. It really isn't. The previous poster is right with everything she said..it is hard to start telling yourself different things, but you really need to try. Don't give in to the guilt- when it comes up THINK LOGICALLY and convince yourself otherwise. You do not have to exercise obsessively to eat things that are not even 'bad' for you! Youve still got a long way to go, but keep working on it..
(P.S. I've got a nice big blueberry muffin waiting for breakfast, with a nice sugar-crumb topping. I'm looking fwd to it and prolly won't feel an ounce of guilt after eating it because I need to eat breakfast and I want to have it. It's also physically impossible to gain weight from A MUFFIN, just like it is a cookie or frozen yogurt, regardless of activity.)
LS289
09-04-2005, 11:25 PM
But what you ate today seems completely normal. I ate a lot more than that and am overly full...
B: woke up late but snacked on some rice cakes and had coffee with light french vanilla creamer
L: Big sub sandwich (turkey, sunflower seeds, tomato, lettuce, sweet/sour sauce on french roll type thing)
"Snack": Frozen yogurt with reeses and big chocolate chip cookie (STUFFED)
D: Baked sweet potato with lowfat cottage cheese, terra chips, 5 sesame crackers, 100 calorie pack of cheese nips, reduced fat triscuits with some guacamole (really craving carbs!)
After dinner: apple, blueberries, raspberries, 2 dried pineapple rings, 2 dried peach slices
I was not hungry for dinner in the SLIGHTEST. In fact, I was still full and sick feeling from my mid-afternoon sugar binge, but I ate anyway. I think what bothers me the most is when I eat too much or I eat when I'm not hungry - not so much WHAT I eat.
I went out and drank a lot with friends last night so I was not feeling my best today (boo!!) so that is part of the reason I was sluggish and just wanted to eat. Also, yesterday I ate very light b/c I knew I was going out. Do you think that could be part of the reason why I'm wanting to eat so much today?? Maybe my body is trying to make up for it? I don't know. I just wish I didn't feel this way right now...
B: woke up late but snacked on some rice cakes and had coffee with light french vanilla creamer
L: Big sub sandwich (turkey, sunflower seeds, tomato, lettuce, sweet/sour sauce on french roll type thing)
"Snack": Frozen yogurt with reeses and big chocolate chip cookie (STUFFED)
D: Baked sweet potato with lowfat cottage cheese, terra chips, 5 sesame crackers, 100 calorie pack of cheese nips, reduced fat triscuits with some guacamole (really craving carbs!)
After dinner: apple, blueberries, raspberries, 2 dried pineapple rings, 2 dried peach slices
I was not hungry for dinner in the SLIGHTEST. In fact, I was still full and sick feeling from my mid-afternoon sugar binge, but I ate anyway. I think what bothers me the most is when I eat too much or I eat when I'm not hungry - not so much WHAT I eat.
I went out and drank a lot with friends last night so I was not feeling my best today (boo!!) so that is part of the reason I was sluggish and just wanted to eat. Also, yesterday I ate very light b/c I knew I was going out. Do you think that could be part of the reason why I'm wanting to eat so much today?? Maybe my body is trying to make up for it? I don't know. I just wish I didn't feel this way right now...
girlygirl11
09-05-2005, 10:43 AM
There really is no difference btwn my day and yours in terms of overall consumption. Like I've mentioned before, you're a grazer..you tend to snack all day instead of eating set meals like I do. There is NOTHING wrong with that, it's just a different way of eating. However if you really want to look at it, you should see that my breakfast is (and always will be) bigger than yours, by far. My lunch and snack could easily be equivalent to your lunch. My dinner and snack are likely bigger, put together than your dinner and fruit snack (even if theyre not, there's still the breakfast). So our day was roughly equal. To top it all off, everything you eat is light or lowfat, where as I have the full fat 'regular' stuff most always..The thing is, I'm younger and shorter and never exercise just to exercise. So really, you should be eating much more in the first place. But comparisons aren't important, i was just trying to show you how you can eat things, not exercise, and not gain weight overnight. Honestly Ls, we could tell you after every meal that nothing will happen, but you're the only person that you will believe. I'm not just saying that- you really need to tell yourself what is logical and right..fight your own mind! After a while it'll become second nature and you won't even think otherwise. Next time, instead of posting and asking for advice, why don't you try looking through some old posts for things we've told you previously, and try to resassure yourself that way. Literally tell yourself that you ate fine and you didn't need to exercise fanatically like usual everyday. Once you convince yourself, you'll be able to get over the voice that keep nagging you about food and calories and such..
LS289
09-05-2005, 05:23 PM
I actually am not a grazer on a regular basis - I think I'm more of a set meal person - but I see your point, nonetheless.
I think the thing is, I know that I am thin (not TOO thin, but thin) and so I think that I will gain weight more easily. Isn't that true, though? For example, if someone who were anorexic started eating more normally, then they would gain weight from eating subs and cookies whereas maybe I (or you) would not. You see what I mean? I guess I just think I eat more than I should to maintain my weight or something..
I don't know.
We are BBQing today and I am going to just eat whatever I want and not think about it and have FUN with my family and friends. I am really exited about that.
I think the thing is, I know that I am thin (not TOO thin, but thin) and so I think that I will gain weight more easily. Isn't that true, though? For example, if someone who were anorexic started eating more normally, then they would gain weight from eating subs and cookies whereas maybe I (or you) would not. You see what I mean? I guess I just think I eat more than I should to maintain my weight or something..
I don't know.
We are BBQing today and I am going to just eat whatever I want and not think about it and have FUN with my family and friends. I am really exited about that.
LS289
09-06-2005, 04:02 PM
We had the BBQ. I feel badly about what I ate. Here we go again...
I am going to exercise today, though, and hopefully later on in the day I will feel better. Maybe I am just still digesting from yesterday. Haha. Ate pineapple upside down cake, which is what really made me feel gross.
Today I wanted to compensate, but already messed that up. I am full again.
Breakfast: Nonfat latte, banana, strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries
Lunch: Arugula salad with grilled chicken, cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots, bell peppers, 1/2 cup lowfat cottage cheese and lowfat yogurt sauce.
I am going to exercise today, though, and hopefully later on in the day I will feel better. Maybe I am just still digesting from yesterday. Haha. Ate pineapple upside down cake, which is what really made me feel gross.
Today I wanted to compensate, but already messed that up. I am full again.
Breakfast: Nonfat latte, banana, strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries
Lunch: Arugula salad with grilled chicken, cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots, bell peppers, 1/2 cup lowfat cottage cheese and lowfat yogurt sauce.
Magnolia29
09-06-2005, 05:56 PM
It's almost as if you are saying being full is a bad thing? One week from right now, it wont matter what you ate. I dont mean to be blunt, but get over it. Just be glad you arent one of the thousands down in New Orleans starving.
LS289
09-07-2005, 03:46 AM
You are right - I am very fortunate that I am not one of the many in New Orleans that are starving, and I am aware of that. I am trying to help with donations to those people and my thoughts are with them.
But in no way was I comparing myself to them or trying to make their situation less important. That is a completely different issue. I'm sorry if you think that I am being selfish, but I just don't think that my issues with food and body image have any relation to those in New Orleans or make my sympathy any less existent.
But in no way was I comparing myself to them or trying to make their situation less important. That is a completely different issue. I'm sorry if you think that I am being selfish, but I just don't think that my issues with food and body image have any relation to those in New Orleans or make my sympathy any less existent.
amo
09-07-2005, 04:22 PM
I think that is a little harsh Magnolia...
Yes, of course there are people suffering all over the world and our "problems" can seem insignificant compared to that...but they aren't.
Our problems are our problems, no matter what they are...and you can't compare them. LS' issues are totally valid for her. They are very real, and very upsetting. Telling someone to just "get over it" is not helpful at all, and only makes people feel as if their feelings aren't valid or important.
I think we'd all love to say we only think about others, and we give all our extra money to charity, and we never judge others. But this just isn't true, everyone has something internal (and I mean mentally internal) that they deal with on a daily basis. While it can be helpful (and it is important) to have a broader view of the world to keep things in perspective, we don't want to do it at the expense of our own feelings.
Yes, of course there are people suffering all over the world and our "problems" can seem insignificant compared to that...but they aren't.
Our problems are our problems, no matter what they are...and you can't compare them. LS' issues are totally valid for her. They are very real, and very upsetting. Telling someone to just "get over it" is not helpful at all, and only makes people feel as if their feelings aren't valid or important.
I think we'd all love to say we only think about others, and we give all our extra money to charity, and we never judge others. But this just isn't true, everyone has something internal (and I mean mentally internal) that they deal with on a daily basis. While it can be helpful (and it is important) to have a broader view of the world to keep things in perspective, we don't want to do it at the expense of our own feelings.
Magnolia29
09-07-2005, 05:45 PM
You are right, Amo. I do not know know what LS is going through, so i guess it just seems useless for me to have said that. My deepest apologies, LS, i obviously wasnt thinking clear when I wrote that.. :confused:
LS289
09-08-2005, 03:38 AM
No worries at all. I completely understand why you would have said something like that. There are a lot of terrible things going on in the world right now and my eating and exercise seems petty, to say the least. But I still deal with my issues on a daily basis (as Amo pointed out) and they are very real and draining for me, no matter what else is going on in the world.
Thank you, Amo, for posting your opinion. I couldn't have said it better myself.
Thank you, Amo, for posting your opinion. I couldn't have said it better myself.
Magnolia29
09-08-2005, 04:37 PM
no, LS it just seems petty with me to say something like that because I have no clue what is going on. This may or may not mean anything to you, coming from someone who obviously isnt going through what you are oging through, but life it too short to worry about things like this and tyou should love and respect yourself and eat whatever you want to :)
Piscean33
09-08-2005, 04:49 PM
LS, I can totally relate to how you feel right now. I'm going through a "down" phase and have been struggling this past week or so. There are times I feel as though I am recovered and completely normal then it just hits me again like a ton of bricks and all of the sudden these thoughts and worries come back again. That is why I really haven't been posting much to give advice. During times like these I would feel hypocritical if I did. But I've been stressed out lately too with school and everything else and I'm sure that's the reason for this small "relapse". I feel as though I'm beginning to get back on my feet again. I'm feeling better today and not focusing quite as much on my eating or my body. I know how hard it is to just tell yourself "IT'S OK!" Because during your worst times it seems like just a lie. But when you begin digging yourself out of that rut, things begin to come into a clearer perspective and you realize that everything is actually "ok". That's why I believe attitude is everything. When you carry a positive attitude things are just so much easier. I've been working alot on that lately and changing all of my evil, negative beliefs. But you are right to say your feelings ARE important regardless of what else may be happening in the world that to everyone else seems much more important. Your feelings are yours! And are real and matter! Putting yourself first is not a selfish act. Some believe it is but I am a big believer in "You can never love another unless you first love yourself". Putting yourself, your needs and feelings first are only going to make you a better person, a better friend, lover, daughter, sister, productive member of society and so on. So therefore it is not selfish because it not only benefits you but all others too. Most of my life I have felt belittled, inadequate, and like my feelings didn't matter. Certain people in my life made me feel that way. But now I'm breaking free of those feelings. I've begun my journey of self-discovery and I'm slowly learning more everyday about who I am and I'm beginning to accept myself more and more and love myself unconditionally. But even as amazing as this journey has been I still have my downfalls and I still get discouraged and feel hopeless. It's those times that I've learned that I need to love myself even more and accept that I am not perfect and be ok with that. When I have a downfall I just slowly pick myself up, brush off, and move on. The point that I'm trying to reach here is that I think you would benefit alot from some soul searching to figure out the reasons behind why you do what you do. It's only then, when you dig deep down to the roots, that you will find your answer and be able to start moving forward. And also start practicing self-love. Start by trying to be less critical of yourself. A good rule of thumb to go by is for every negative remark you make to yourself think of at least 3 positive ones. It really does work. But one thing to remember is that this too takes time. Don't expect to wake up tomorrow and completely love yourself. It doesn't happen like that. We've been so cruel to ourselves for so long that changing our attitudes and the way we think of ourselves is going to take time. Just try to keep a positive attitude and know that someday things will be better and you can put all of this behind you. Keep trying and hang in there ok? (((hugs)))
LS289
09-08-2005, 11:19 PM
Thanks, Magnolia. I completely understand what you are saying and I accept your apology 100%. You are right with your advice.
Piscean - I am so sorry to hear that you are in a "down" period. You have to know that it won't last forever and you are FINE. I know you FEEL like you are fat&you FEEL like you are eating a lot, etc, etc, but you are NOT. And me saying that is so far-removed from the voice in your head, but you have to trust me, just like I have to trust you. I can think of 100s of times during the past year where I have felt fat or like I am gaining weight or like what I ate was awful or like i was a huge slug b/c i didn't exercise (the list goes on), but in reality, none of it is as significant as it seems. Have you really even gained very much weight even when you are TRYING to gain weight? NO. Will eating badly one day, two days, even three days make you fat? NO. I should take my own advice b/c it is so clear when I say it to you. You are still so thin for your height and to even think twice about your food seems silly to anyone else, but you (and me b/c I completely understand where you are coming from).
But when you read my posts and my concerns, don't you see how obvious it is that there is so much wasted energy going into food, exercise, etc? Can I give you an example? Today I have eaten "ok" according to me...
Breakfast: Lowfat cottage cheese, banana, nectarine, some strawberries
Lunch: Bagel with lowfat cream cheese, tomato, and capers
Snack: Apple, 2 salt water taffy
Dinner: Grilled buffalo (very good! Leaner than steak!), baked beans, salad with lf dressing, tomato, and avocado, 1/2 of a roll
Snack: some honey toasted cashews and the frosting off of a small brownie (oops)
Dessert: Maybe frozen yogurt
I am feeling really badly right now about my dinner b/c I feel like I ate more than I was planning on and I hate that I ate the frosting off that brownie. But for me to waste my energy, time, and happiness to be upset about that would be RIDICULOUS, but I almost did! Before I came on here to post I was letting it get the best of me and now I am not going to!! I ate it. That's it. And I'll be fine. Period. Right?
You are right - I need to do some soul searching and really figure out what my values are. I think that the trip I am going on in one week (moving to another country with some friends for 6 months!!) will be amazing for that. But at the same time, that is what is making me so anxious right now. I'll be eating weird food, not exercising NEARLy as much as I am now, and probably getting big and fat. I just can't stand to think about that and it makes me soooo incredibly anxious!!!
Anyway, sorry this has gotten so long. Basically, I just don't want you to lose faith and i want you to know that everyone here is extremely supportive of you and understands your dilemma completely.
I truly hope that we can both let go of our anxiety soon b/c it's just so draining...and so not worth it....
Piscean - I am so sorry to hear that you are in a "down" period. You have to know that it won't last forever and you are FINE. I know you FEEL like you are fat&you FEEL like you are eating a lot, etc, etc, but you are NOT. And me saying that is so far-removed from the voice in your head, but you have to trust me, just like I have to trust you. I can think of 100s of times during the past year where I have felt fat or like I am gaining weight or like what I ate was awful or like i was a huge slug b/c i didn't exercise (the list goes on), but in reality, none of it is as significant as it seems. Have you really even gained very much weight even when you are TRYING to gain weight? NO. Will eating badly one day, two days, even three days make you fat? NO. I should take my own advice b/c it is so clear when I say it to you. You are still so thin for your height and to even think twice about your food seems silly to anyone else, but you (and me b/c I completely understand where you are coming from).
But when you read my posts and my concerns, don't you see how obvious it is that there is so much wasted energy going into food, exercise, etc? Can I give you an example? Today I have eaten "ok" according to me...
Breakfast: Lowfat cottage cheese, banana, nectarine, some strawberries
Lunch: Bagel with lowfat cream cheese, tomato, and capers
Snack: Apple, 2 salt water taffy
Dinner: Grilled buffalo (very good! Leaner than steak!), baked beans, salad with lf dressing, tomato, and avocado, 1/2 of a roll
Snack: some honey toasted cashews and the frosting off of a small brownie (oops)
Dessert: Maybe frozen yogurt
I am feeling really badly right now about my dinner b/c I feel like I ate more than I was planning on and I hate that I ate the frosting off that brownie. But for me to waste my energy, time, and happiness to be upset about that would be RIDICULOUS, but I almost did! Before I came on here to post I was letting it get the best of me and now I am not going to!! I ate it. That's it. And I'll be fine. Period. Right?
You are right - I need to do some soul searching and really figure out what my values are. I think that the trip I am going on in one week (moving to another country with some friends for 6 months!!) will be amazing for that. But at the same time, that is what is making me so anxious right now. I'll be eating weird food, not exercising NEARLy as much as I am now, and probably getting big and fat. I just can't stand to think about that and it makes me soooo incredibly anxious!!!
Anyway, sorry this has gotten so long. Basically, I just don't want you to lose faith and i want you to know that everyone here is extremely supportive of you and understands your dilemma completely.
I truly hope that we can both let go of our anxiety soon b/c it's just so draining...and so not worth it....
OokieWonderslug
09-08-2005, 11:38 PM
Normal? For me? Today I ate a can of tomato soup and a bowl of chili. Yesterday I ate a bowl of weenie mac and a plate of spagetti. The day before that I ate a sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit and a plate of roasted chicken, beans, and macaroni and cheese. I have been eating too much lately for me. I have a very low metabolism and have been gaining weight like crazy. Some days I just don't get hungry so I don't eat anything. I work hard physical labor 3 or 4 days a week for about 5 hours a day. So I reckon that's a workout. The rest of the time I do as little as humanly possible.
Normal is what you usually eat. What's normal for me would probably starve others. To me it's too much. I can get by on just a pbj sandwich for the day and be fine. Normal doesn't exist for humans. At least I don't think it does.
Normal is what you usually eat. What's normal for me would probably starve others. To me it's too much. I can get by on just a pbj sandwich for the day and be fine. Normal doesn't exist for humans. At least I don't think it does.