I have severe back problems and chronic pain and have since an injury in March....

My husband just told me I was a totally useless *****.... :mad:

I guess he's right, I can't do much, but today, I cleaned, the best i could, I cooked him some dinner...washed his clothes, all while in a lot of pain....

I am feeling so useless and depressed....I was a vibrant person before,

Why did he have to hurt me so badly??

No one deserves to be told that, EVER!

memorize :confused:

How could anyone say that??? I just don't understand how people can be that mean to each other! Of course you're not useless! But he certainly sounds pretty useless to me if he can't be there to be a support to you and appreciate the things that you CAN do in your limited state!!

I'm glad you have us here to vent to! Know that WE know your value and appreciate you!!

BEB :angel:

Hi Memorize :wave:
Your husband sounds like he needs to learn how to appreciate you. If you keep holding all of this hurt and anger inside, you will make your depression worse. Is there a therapist you can talk to? You can always come here to vent any problems or concerns that you are experiencing. Best wishes and I hope you get well soon.

Love and hugs,
Sam :angel:

hi there,
I hope that you can recognise straight away that you are not useless. Although with your current health problems you may feel not as vibrant, happy or useful as you used to be, there is no doubt that you are trying your best under difficult circumstances - nobody should be criticising you for that.

I often find it so disappointing the way people often choose to put other people down, after all we all have our problems in life, we are all trying to get by and we all need a little help and support along the way.

All I can suggest is that when your husband decides to treat you in this way ask him why he has come to this conclusion. If he throws your illness back in your face then say "Well yes I am ill, but I am doing the best I can, I had hoped that you would be able to cope with that what with you being an adult, a full grown capable man and not a child that needs constant attention. If however you find that you are not able to do things for yourself then perhaps you ought to support me in the road to recovery so that I can not be so useless to you anymore"

all the best

Memie,
hate to say this: tell that piece of crap to F*k OFF!! if he's better than you, WHY DON'T YOU DO IT THEN, YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHeeeT!! arrrrgh!! men are so useless, can't even f'k'n wash his own drawers!! sheesh!!

memorize,
I know how you feel and I mean exactly. I get done like that all the time. I too have a bad back. mine is acting up today OOOOOOUCCCCCCCCH! when it gets bad enough I cant even walk and then crap hits the fan. Im lazy or your just acting your useless you are a useless as titties on a bore hog. I know what it is like and I know how much it hurts. Im still putting up with it . I have for 17 years. so I cant give you any advise except dont be a nut like me and put up with it. I wish I had left years ago. too late now.

Thank you all so much for your support...

He has since apologized but words sting and I am not useless...I have 3 bulging disks, 1 ruptured and DDD....

I am in pan all the time, it's a WC claim so it's wait, wait, wait....fight, fight, fight for medical care....

I go see the doc tomorrow and he has to drive me, it's about 100 miles one way, he usually is very kind about things, and I DO the very BEST I can with the pain, but there are some things I just can't do anymore...

My heart is breaking at his attitude and I can still see it a little today....I have told him, many women in this pain would just lie down..I get up everyday, fix my hair, put on a little make-up and do what chores I can....

Our home is close to spotless, I hate dirt ;) and I really try hard....I can't mop anymore and that is one thing he has to do....I don't think he really knows the pain I have to be honest...due to the fact I try so hard to be *normal*

I was so upset last night, I have been depressed with this chronic pain for about 5 weeks now...some days better than others but that statement just killed me...now I FEEL useless in so many ways...

It's a shame what people's words can do to you, I needed to be told things looked nice, but instead I got "Your Totally useless".....

I am sorry that others here have to endure this abuse as well, and it is abuse, verbal and mental abuse....

Prayers for all of you, that you will feel much better soon....

memorize :)