We all have a story..each is unique, each has different twists and turns, each has good and bad times. We all suffer from different traumas, different events in life that have made us who we are. But what we all share, what we all have in common is depression. This bonds us all. People that don't suffer from this don't understand what depression does to us. A typical response i have found is "get over it, we all have problems". That is what seperates us from them...we dont "just get over it".
I started seeing a therapist a few months ago after years of procrastination. I knew i had depression.. i just thought it might go away. In my sessions we decided to start with history instead of present. I never thought my history was very significant until recently. I guess i never thought as though my life was that tramatic until i heard myself telling my story aloud. It never occured to me my life was filled with traumatic events that have forever changed me, until her eyebrows raised and she said "you mean that all of that happened in such a short span?" at that point we'd only made progress to grade school.

Its the best thing i ever did. I'm not saying each hour spent with her is a happy one...confronting painful memories isnt always easy to swallow.
I was started on lexapro and have tolerated it well, wellbutrin wasnt for me, it made the depression worse in my case. And I was started on Xanax for the anxiety attacks i was starting to have. (that was what made up my mind to start therapy..when the anxiety attacks started)

My point to this thread is to tell everyone there is HOPE. I scored severe on depression and the anxiety score was moderate. HOPE is a word i never thought was possible for me. And i thank god there is a place like this site for all of us to come to. A place where people arent judged...a place where you find comfort knowing that you arent alone. That there are people all over the world feeling the same feelings you are. Key words....YOU ARE NOT ALONE.. i felt alone for a very long time, i felt as though I was crazy and wished i could be "just normal". I felt as though no one understood the pain i had.

I've read some amazing posts. I've read posts that made my heart ache for that person...but what i find in nearly all posts is HOPE. As I tell myself when i'm down...This is a temporary stop in your life, there is hope if you look hard enough through the fog. :angel:

Hi Texasgal, :wave:

Welcome to the boards!!! :bouncing:

Your words were amazing and inspiring! I hope to see you posting here often. Many here would love to here from you or help in any way they can too. You could be an incredible addition for many!!!

Good luck and best wishes :angel:

John

hi there,
thanks a lot for your story.
It is really great to see stories from people who are doing well in their fight with depression, or have beat the illness completely, many people here don't believe that they will ever get better or that there will ever be an end in sight from depression and so I find these stories really helpful as it shows that there are people out there who have beaten this illness or are doing well, coping, functioning, managing to lead normal lives on the road to full health once more.

Again thanks very much
All the best

For me one of the hardest parts of having depression is the fact that it takes up sooooo much of my time and effort fighting this disease. Sure i have many days where i dont leave the house because i am so depressed, but i try not to let these days get me too far down. I continue to fight and fight because like all of us here on this sight i have hope that things will get better as long as i stay positive and do the right things.

I find that taking the attitude, that i am living one day at a time, and to make the most out of everyday, has really helped me(i know it sounds corny and very cliche but it helps). If i have a really bad day i just tell myself that tommorow will be better and i can take some comfort in that.

Hi Texasgal and welcome to the boards! :wave:
I have gone through my personal history and know some of it backwards as well as forwards. One of the shocking things for me to realize is that regardless of what has happened in the past, I am still doing things today that cause me to suffer. No one is doing anything to me anymore without my knowing it, at least on some vaguely conscious level. I am doing it all to myself.

We all have to make ends with our past. There is a lot to learn about how one's core beliefs have come into being and are perpetuated. The bottom line is that in the end, we all have to assume responsibility for how we act and feel. We can make ourselves miserable or we can make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.

I choose to be happy today and to take responsibility for that happiness. I am not so much at war with myself or others. I am not going to let anyone drag me down into this pit of despair. I will bring others up to my level of functioning and encourage them to go further ahead so that we all will evolve.

Hope is a curious thing; it is there every time one looks. :)