My father has Alz's and unfortunately is masturbating in public continually. What can be done to curb this behavior? :confused:

Hi rbrincat,

What level or stage alzheimers is your father? It may be time, to not take your father out in public. Or, maybe make sure his hands are full at all times?!

Some of the other ladies will probably answer later - they know more, my dad is not that far along. So far, he knows better. The only other thing that I can think of is, to call one or two of his drs. They might be able to help you - either with advice or meds?!

Hope you find a cure/replacement for this new activity of your fathers. Take care.

Wannabe

I've seen a few dementia patients merrily happily masturbating .. they lose all inhibitions and know they feel good when they do it .. they're not doing it on purpose, it's just a pleasant past-time!

Yes, keep their hands full, but that doesn't mean they'll drop all when the need arises. You may have to re-look at medications and public outings. Sad but true. Many of our charges can't enjoy pleasant activities because of their lack of inhibitions.

I agree with Wannabe .. like anything, it can be replaced with something else. a glue stick and lovely pictures from a magazine glued into a scrapbook is a good hand/eye activity. Have a chat to a recreational therapist too, they might have some good ideas, after all, diverting their charges is their job!!

Don't be embaressed either, he doesn't know he's not supposed to, and if you say "don't" he'll have no idea why and might get defensive. Then again, there may be that thread of memory left and he'll be embaressed himself.

Diversional Therapy .. wonderful invention!!

Cheers
Sally

My 71-yr-old Dad is in a health care facility in his (our) hometown suffering from Lewey Bodies Dementia. Apparently he had this illness for 7 years before it was properly diagnosed in 99 after my grandmother (his Mom) passed away. He had taken early retirement and moved in with her in the house my Grandfather built her when they married in 1929. She was suffering from bone density loss and was breaking bones each time she fell, and she was falling a lot but would not leave her home. The day finally came that she got too difficult for my Dad to physically take care of her even with a skilled nurse coming to their home each day so she was placed in this small city's nursing home/health care facility. My Father spent EVERY DAY for the last 4 years of her life with her in the nursing home; he'd arrive after she'd eaten breakfast and gotten bathed and dressed for the day and he would stay with her until she fell asleep at night, usually while he read the Bible to her or sang some of her favorite old church hymns. He also whistled like nobody's business and would whistle "Amazing Grace" that still chills me to the bone every time I recall it in my head.

After my Grandmother passed, my Father's unusual behavior was associated with his tremendous grief over the loss of his Mother. All of his children lived in different States except me, and I live 9 hours away close to the Gulf whereas he's up near the pan handle along the Oklahoma border. I was torn when trying to make the decision to leave him there, so far away but in a place that he was very familiar with and already felt like was 'home", or move him closer to me in a strange place where the attendants would most likely not give him the same empathetic treatment he is receiving from these people who admire and respect my Father for how faithful he was to spend as much time as possible with my Grandmother before she passed.

Dad was quickly losing his ability to verbally communicate and was already beginning to have a hard time recognizing me when I decided it would be best to leave him there, especially since several of the residents when to high school with my Dad and there were also 2 of our relatives in his age bracket who also lived there.

However, I want you to know that before he was properly diagnosed, he was being treated for Alzheimers; when he did not improve on that treatment, he was re-diagnosed with Parkinson's. After that medication did not help him, further testing revealed that he actually had Lewey Bodies Dementia; once he was placed on the medication to treat the illness he was actually suffering from, he improved remarkably but for only a short few years. Apparently the medications he took for Alzheimers and Parkinson's tripled his mortality rate, which is a crying shame.

During the time he was taking the wrong medication, he was hallucinating, screaming all night long no matter how sedated, and behaving extremely inappropriately to ALL females he came in contact with, including his own sister and his daughters. One day I recall receiving a call from the nursing home telling me my Father had to be sedated because he was stark naked except for his house coat and socks and was walking down the halls flashing the poor little old ladies who were wheel-chair-confined. I was mortified! This was like something you'd see in a Playboy magazine cartoon!

These episodes ceased completely once he was placed on the proper medication. He recognized me in 2002 and 2003 but did not recognize me in 2004. We will be going to see him this Thanksgiving and I don't know if he will know me or not. I speak often with his nurse and the Head of Nurses to see how he is doing, and they will read him any letters I send to him and show him photos I've had framed that are from a time when he knew his children and family.

I cannot tell you how many sleepless nights I spent agonizing over what was the right thing to do with my Father when it was abundantly clear that he would need professional care that I alone could not provide for him. But what a blessing to have him in his hometown where he grew up, surrounded by people he grew up with, and being cared for by people who hold him in the highest regard for his unwavering care for my Grandmother before she passed.

I'm sure there are so many of you who don't have it as good as I do; I truly wish you the best in handling your individual situations, and if there's anything I can help answer I'll be glad to assist. I did not elaborate on the sexual impropriety that he displayed but as I said, it was caused by the illness and went away once he got on the proper medication.

God Bless- Marla

Hi Marla,

Welcome! Thanks for sharing your sad story.

What test was done that showed that your father has Lewey Bodies Dementia? Seems in retrospect for him and a heads up for others, that perhaps all AD patients should be tested for all the possibilities at the start of their problems. Wonder if that's possible and reasonable.

I, too, did not bring my widowed mother to my part of the country when she was diagnosed with AD at age 84. She was in her hometown, her older sister lived just 10 minutes away from the facility I chose for her, and her church friends could easily visit her. In my situation, my family and I moved across the country to be near her, too, as we could do that 6 months later. Even after we arrived here, I still kept mother in the assisted living facility and then nursing home because she was too far gone for me to care for. My little mother died 14 months ago at age 88.

It's not easy to be a long-distance caretaker, but I think your father would be pleased with the decision to keep him where he's known and appreciated even though it is more complicated for the family. I do hope your father knows you when you go visit.

I hope your home and area weren't devestated by the hurricanes.

Come back here when you can to talk, rant, whatever.

Cheers - Barbara :)

Hi Barbara,
Thanks so much for sharing your similar story with me. As I said, I still struggle at times, especially during the holiday season, since I am not able to readily travel to visit my Dad due to my own health conditon (I was diagnosed with Hep C, Genotype 1a in April 04 and am in my 3rd month of injection therapy with Pegasus which is like Chemo and makes you violently ill at times). Not knowing if he will recognize me or not, coupled with his anger when he tries so hard to speak and cannot make the words audible makes it even more difficult for me to prepare myself emotionally to see him because I do not want him to see me "react" to whatever he is or is not able to do which would only add to his anxiety if he were to realize how distraught it makes me at times. I realized this past time I traveled to see him that my stomach started really hurting the closer we got to my hometown, and was really torn up by the time we got to the health care facility. I know this was due to the stress and unfortunately I did not receive any relief by seeing him because he did not recognize me. It was really sad; I'll never forget the intensity in his clear blue eyes as he stared at me, trying so hard to realize who I was, knowing that he knew me but not knowing HOW he knew me... the intensity of his inquiring, searching eyes will never leave my mind and will undoubtedly haunt me for the rest of my life.
My Daddy just LOVES my pumpkin pie; as long as I can remember I've always made a seperate pie JUST for him. Now that he is in the home, I bake 2 for the staff and one just for him and ask them to make sure he gets to eat every bite of his. In 2003 I had showed him the pie and told him the nurse was going to put it in the fridge until after his dinner; do you know that as soon as he was done eating his meal, he looked at me and mumbled as clear as ever "where's my pie?". I was on cloud nine realizing that he actually made a complete sentence that not only I could understand, but also my husband which was rare because typically I am the only one who can understand what he is saying, he mumbles so and his voice is so weak.
As for the test that was done, I cannot recall what type of test it was but they showed me an MRI that showed a dark spot about the size of a walnut at the base of his brain in the back of his head that I was told was only found in patients with Lewey Bodies Dementia. Also, the combination of the particular type of hallucinations he was having and the rapid deterioration of his ability to use his hands and feet were common symptoms of LBD. There were other triggers; I'll look back over my LARGE file I started when all this began and see what information I can locate to share next posting.
Thinking back on my family's history on my Father's side, I recall my Great-Grandfather on his father's side had to be institutionalized because of what they thought was Alzheimers. In retrospect as my Dad's diagnosis was made, my Aunt said she recalled her Grandfather behaving the same way my Dad was behaving and feels her Grandfather had also been mis-diagnosed. Apparently he had "assaulted" one of the younger female relatives (he had felt of her breasts that were barely there, she was so young, but still it was a traumatic experience for her to have her Grandfather behave that way with her). This "assault" would've landed him in jail if not for his apparent insanity which is why he was placed in an institution. I was never allowed to visit him while he was there; he died before I turned 10 so I have no recollection of him other than what I heard my Aunts and Uncles say about him when they thought us kids were not listening.
In my extensive research of LBD after my father's diagnosis, I found that it wasn't even heard of until it was first diagnosed in 1960 and that was from an autopsy after a person had died and the family had left the body to science for testing for what they believed to be Alzheimer's. I also found out that most patients are misdiagnosed and mis-treated with wrong medications and the mistake is not discovered unless an autopsy is done. As I told you in my earlier posting, the medications used to treat Alzheimers and Parkinson's triples the mortality rate of LBD sufferers which is so tragic. While my Father was semi-coherent he was asked by his doctor if he would donate his body to science for further testing of LBD but he was mortified at the thought and made me promise I would have him cremated so "they didn't go cutting on his body after he is gone". So, my brother and I pre-paid for the cremation so that there can be no legal intervention to use his body against his last wishes; not that I'm saying there would be legal intervention, we just wanted to make sure our Father's wishes were not defiled.
I recognize that my Father started showing signs of LBD in his early 50's; as soon as I get this Hep C behind me and my health becomes as normal as possible, I am going to ask my GP to refer me to a neurologist who can test me for LBD since it appears to be heredity. I also found through my research that if caught early enough and treatment begins before the symptoms become so obvious, you can add up to 20 years to your life before this disease takes over and robs you of your freedom.
I will find my not***** and come up with some more info for my next posting; it will probably be late tomorrow as my children are on their way over to celebrate a birthday and I get to see my 2-mo-old grandson which is one of the best medicine for my healing that I've found so far (*smile*).
All my best to you and again, thanks for sharing your story with me; it really helps to know others had as difficult of a time making the decision as I did - God Bless, Marla

Dear Marlla,

thank you for sharing your story with all of us here. It is invaluable that we all know the many diagnoses possible for 'demented b'ehavior, and the various treatments - especially sad if it starts young.

Marla, knowing it has appeared in your family twice in 3 generations means it hardly ever happens, and I don't think your statistical chance is big at all. ( Go ahead and have the tests if you think it would make you feel better, but in my laywomans' opinion, your chances are not terribly high.)

I can well identify with your feelings as you approadched the place your dad was in ... I was recently in NY for one week where my mom is currently in rehab after a fall and broken hip, but at the same time suffering from a distinct worsening of her Dementia .. I don't know how by brother was coping with seeing here every day, sometimes twice a day .. but it actually made me physically sick; I had to go and look out the window in between attempts to talk to her, help her throw up without it getting all over herself, trying to feed her, etc ..it was so depressing, I think it was the worst week of my life.

(since then she has improved a little, but most of us think she will require NH care even if the hip heals well enough to let her walk again..)

It is a sad disease, probably the worst one can get ... hang in there and do what you can to make Dad happy, even if it's just pumpkin pie!

Love,

Martha

Hi again Marla,

Goodness, you have a lot to deal with! I'm sorry you've had Hep C and the treatments to endure.

I was dxed with lupus in 1999 and that's one huge reason I couldn't seriously consider having mother with me as her AD worsened. I was glad that circumstances allowed us to move across the country to be near her and be a part of her last 2 years. As you said, not that she really knew it.

As time permits, do read other posts as there are a lot of good ideas here and you'll find our stories in more detail.

A big Happy Birthday to whoever and enjoy that grandbaby!! Lucky you to have the fun of a party with family!

Wishing you well - Barbara :wave: