greetings all'
Im going to give you my nitty,sometimes gritty gritty story.........
I dont know where to begin so I'll begin w/ my life prior to marraige and family life...
I led a lifestyle of drugs and girls,girls and drugs(no needles)...and more girls.
I'm a good-lookin' guy.At least my wife tells me that everyday- ( & I pay her to say it)...point is getting girls were never a problem,in fact I couldn't count on one hand when I had to make the first move(i was a bit shy at times)...they always initiated.And I of course obliged
this went on from 1991 to 1997 rampantly.64 partners in that period.not proud of that...At that point I decided to make a life change.And did.
It was too late,I was exposed from a person who little did I know was sleeping with every dog under the tree.
When I began to get back on the right path in life,I met my wife almost Immediately-It was ordained,magic)of course I didnt know i was building a viral load right then...GOD protected my wife until we found out--applying for mortgage insurance,they took blood.I went on a short biz trio to Atlanta. And when I got back someone at work told me the health dept. was looking for me.
Immediately I knew.I knew.I knew.So me and my engaged wife went there and confirmed it...IT WAS DEVASTAtING,for quite a while actually.
Took me 5 yrs to put it in its place...
I had no idea what a mind**** can play on you when your'e told to alter or obstain your sexual persona...hell,your sexuality!!!my mojo,baby.
I had a test in October 1997 knowing I was through whorin' around...It was negative.
the antibodies had not arrived yet.
So when the health Dept found out and I was getting all turned in a 180
with drs drugs and the like...
stats:
I had a viral load of 16,000 some odd(caught early)
T count was 800+,it is now about 400
my regimin is viramune,ziagen and epivir 1 tab twice a day.you can now take many of your meds all at one time...ask your doctor.
im 41,I feel 70 sometimes...why is that?
I'm beginning to see secondary arteriel veins and arteries in my legs.makes me wear pants.sad.freaks me out to look down at your once normal legs and allbodyfat is gone.tell me about lipodystrophy ,I know its fat re-deistribution
due to the medicine or virus they'll say.i know certain meds cause it .Ziagen being one...
I feel like **** all the time.meaning listless ,fatigued.whats the deal?I know Im not alone...is anybody unable to work yet? I feel i'm geetting closer to that.Im too damn listless and tired.Like a flat tire..
IM SICK OF IT.
Im sick of the FDA's link with the Federal trade comission when they,,,by law...are required to turn a profit for their publicly traded companies...To win their stockholders profit line...THERE IS NO BIGGER CONFLICT OF INTEREST.
my meds were all 225.00 dollars(ea.) 4yrs ago.now they are 450.00(ea.)...I cant talk about this,it literally makes me sick to my gut.onward though I'm cuttin short its getting very late...
I know were suffering some of the same probs.I would like to know case historys and symptomatic and problematic isuues along our way.
med info,diet,etc...TALK TO ME TELL ME HOW ITS BEEN.
PS Im not through with my intro.

C-yall soon,
kell :wave:

hey kelli interesting post. I am wondering something though... If your slept around up to 1997 and got tested a year later in 1998 which resulted in negative result... How come you ended up positive. Are you sure you got in in 1997???

hey kelli interesting post. I am wondering something though... If your slept around up to 1997 and got tested a year later in 1998 which resulted in negative result... How come you ended up positive. Are you sure you got in in 1997???

Yeah, I was wondering the same thing. God bless you, Kell. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us. I'm very glad you are here. There are fabulous people here!!! :p

p.s. I understand it's hard for a man to catch HIV from a woman...unless there are open cuts/sores where blood can be exchanged. Do you remember there being open cuts or bleeding which would have caused you to become exposed? (Do you mind answering my questions, Kell?...if you do, just say "Butt out spec!")

p.p.s. What an absolute blessing that your wife tests negative!!

Yeah, I was wondering the same thing. God bless you, Kell. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us. I'm very glad you are here. There are fabulous people here!!! :p

p.p.s. What an absolute blessing that your wife tests negative!!


I agree completely. Glad your here.

Casey

Kell: you know my story and I think it's a blessing that you shared yours.

You've got a lot going on so I need to ask a couple of questions: are you having an reaction to the Viramune. When I took it it caused some arrythmias (cardiac) and I got stuck in CCU with a follow-up heart cath that indicated nothing. However, my doctor change the med. I also dropped the zerit that I had been taking for years nad was placed on Viread to prevent the wasting. However, like you, I'll never wear shorts again.

So, are you working? No insurance? Are you eligible for Medicaid or MEdicare? HAve you applied for social security disability. Is there a local a local AIDS support system where you live where you could connect with a case manager/social worker who could direct you through the system?

Your doctor? Is he any good? Is he on the cutting-edge of HIV therapies? You fatigue issues are troubling...do you relate it to the HIV or to you depression? Are you or have you seen a counselor, especially one with experience dealing with HIV issues?

So many questions - I don't mean to burden you...but it may help direct you greatest need (which is to refocus the guilt).

hey kelli interesting post. I am wondering something though... If your slept around up to 1997 and got tested a year later in 1998 which resulted in negative result... How come you ended up positive. Are you sure you got in in 1997???
yeah,besafe.TYPO. I was tested in October 1997 (the negative result,that is.)
And I was whoring around well into '97.

welcome kel...it's really great to have you, and a story attached to it so we can know you better. i hope you find this place as comforting and as awesome as everyone else does...and again, welcome, i hope to see you stick around friend!
Love Sarah

Yeah, I was wondering the same thing. God bless you, Kell. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us. I'm very glad you are here. There are fabulous people here!!! :p

p.s. I understand it's hard for a man to catch HIV from a woman...unless there are open cuts/sores where blood can be exchanged. Do you remember there being open cuts or bleeding which would have caused you to become exposed? (Do you mind answering my questions, Kell?...if you do, just say "Butt out spec!")

p.p.s. What an absolute blessing that your wife tests negative!!

Not at all Spec...and yes to the wife and baby girls status.A BLESSING.
My Dr. knew I was freaked about about my wifes infectivity and when we got pregnant I asked again.He replied "Oh that.your rate of infectivity should be looooow"in a whisper as if to indicate practically non existent!(I found it odd the way he answered that question) I was two yrs. undetectable at the time.
As for female to male infectivity,it's becoming more common.This particular girl I found out was sleeping with other men(friends-lol,&drug users) the same day, perhaps hours before jumping in my bed.Without sounding to graphic, you go down on a woman whos vagina is full of semen and you get more than you bargained for,or **** to blisters which occasionally happened... I also had a lot of dental work in 1997.At first I suspected that...hell, I dont care anymore,not important.Being well is the thing now.

Kell: you know my story and I think it's a blessing that you shared yours.

You've got a lot going on so I need to ask a couple of questions: are you having an reaction to the Viramune. When I took it it caused some arrythmias (cardiac) and I got stuck in CCU with a follow-up heart cath that indicated nothing. However, my doctor change the med. I also dropped the zerit that I had been taking for years nad was placed on Viread to prevent the wasting. However, like you, I'll never wear shorts again.

So, are you working? No insurance? Are you eligible for Medicaid or MEdicare? HAve you applied for social security disability. Is there a local a local AIDS support system where you live where you could connect with a case manager/social worker who could direct you through the system?

Your doctor? Is he any good? Is he on the cutting-edge of HIV therapies? You fatigue issues are troubling...do you relate it to the HIV or to you depression? Are you or have you seen a counselor, especially one with experience dealing with HIV issues?

So many questions - I don't mean to burden you...but it may help direct you greatest need (which is to refocus the guilt).
No reaction to viramune.I do work(that disallows any ssbenefits) and I miss some work due to HIV,however Im self employed.That helps.
Insurance?yes,blue cross risk pool.
My Dr.?I dont think you'll meet many infecious specialists or oncologists who are people persons if ya know what I mean.
Is he any good?what do I have to compare.He's been in the field for 20+ yrs.
Name is Steven B. Sotman--Yes I beleive he knows his ****.dry on bedside manner though but thtas his personality problem.He communicates with me.
Cutting Edge? Yes, but what cutting edge is there?YET? RNAi,valproic acid,croc blood?...Is there something i should know?
Ahhh and yes my brother,Im not depressed.Im hopeful!!!!!!!!
GUILT?Cflas I dont struggle with that man, I've got God
Guilt is like wasted time...you can cry for the time you've wasted,but that's a waste of time and tears...F- guilt. drop those rocks

welcome kel...it's really great to have you, and a story attached to it so we can know you better. i hope you find this place as comforting and as awesome as everyone else does...and again, welcome, i hope to see you stick around friend!
Love Sarah

Sarah and Casey(Kacey is my daughters name)
Thank you both. I love you too....

I answered All yalls questions with the reply with quote button.I shoudve used the quick reply,yes? well hell now I know(OR NOT,This just shows post 11) Im used to vBulletin where the reply displays in the same box as the quote...But all your answers are on the next page.
(addressed by name)