Hi, my name is Elliott, and for some reason, my topics have been deleted? My account has aslo been blocked too, so i cant post... why? this is very sad, i thought i had some friends here... obviously no one wants to help me :(

Bye then, and thx ruth for all your help...

:confused: Hmmm...I dunno. I responded to it yesterday stating that in my teenage years I had similar feeling that you did. I don't understand why your post would have been deleted. I thought this was a safe place to post mental health concerns...dunno. I myself would much rather you come here and talk through your feeling, rather than bottle them up and do something you will regret. I wish you could have read what I wrote :(

A summerized version of my post was that I had very very similar feeling of hurting people at your age, and I don't believe I had those feelings becuase I actually wanted to kill anyone, I think I enjoyed the feelings of control I gained out of these fantasies. Maybe you should channel the need for control in better aspect of your life, a healthy habit you can control.

It really sounds to me like everything you are suffering from (the eating disorders, the suicidal thoughts, the idea to hurt someone physically/sexually) are all forms of control. So, it definately sounds to me like you are desiring the control that you have been stripped from through the abuse in your childhood.

Maybe you can look into a healthy way to gain control over things in your life. Making a decision to seek professional help is a way you can start regaining control over your life in a positive way. You don't have to enjoy it, you just have to do it. ;)