LeeLee3
08-30-2005, 01:54 PM
I'd like some advice on how to deal with this situation my grandma is experiencing.
My grandma will be 83 years old next month. She lives in a senior apartment complex. They don't provide much medical assistance - they have pull bars if they fall and need help, and nurses come by every other week or so. She lives an hour away from my mom and I - we're her only family. I do go up there for school three days a week, and sometimes stay with her if I don't feel like driving back home at night.
She has been complaining about people shining lights in her window at night. She talks like it is someone flashing a flashlight, but she sees no one. There is another woman on her floor that also sees it. We figured it was probably the cops checking things out, as the neighborhood has a considerable amount of crime. However, what we don't understand is that lately, she also claims she sees a smaller light - she can't see the actual source of the light, but describes what I think could be a laser beam hitting her body. She complains that it burns, but she doesn't have any noticeable marks on her or her windows. I honestly don't understand how anything could actually transmit heat like that, unless it's a medical laser. I made the mistake of commenting that it sounds like a laser pointer my professors use or a laser kids use in laser tag. Now she's worried that it's some kind of scientific laser that will hurt her. It's entirely possible that a group of kids could've flashed lights around the complex, maybe playing laser tag, as a gang of young boys broke into a store nearby recently. It's supposedly been going on a few weeks. I stayed with her a week ago, and she pointed toward the window to show me the lights. I saw nothing. She then said something like, oh, it's hard to tell, maybe it hasn't happened yet. She was able to go to sleep, and I thought she was doing better.
Today, she called my mom and said she felt unsafe where she is, and could she find her an apartment in town. She also called me, and I suggested she come down and stay with us, as she really seemed scared of this "laser." She said she'd stay at one of her neighbor's apartments tonight, the one that also complained about seeing the light. The neighbor has said that they're not shining them as much on her windows now, so grandma says she'll feel safer over there. My mom and I don't how what to do. We've checked into some older living complexes nearby, so hopefully she'll get into one of those soon. We can monitor her more easily that way, to see if something is really off. She is very stubborn, though, and has resisted moving back here before, or else changed her mind. She has always been kind of ditzy, so I don't know if she's just over-analyzing this lights issue, or is starting to go into alzheimer's. To those of you who've encountered this with loved ones - what do you think of this situation? Is it really serious? Is there some way the doctor could do a psychiatric evaluation on her that will be covered under Medicare? I have heard of pills you can take at the beginning stages of the disease, which are supposed to help. I know there's no cure. I think she should at least talk to a doctor, who may be able to see red flags, but she insists nothing is wrong. I don't know for sure that there is, but the "laser" has bothered her so much that she's not sleeping. She always sounds very tired, though seems to make sense when talking about other stuff... What is going on here - any advice?
My grandma will be 83 years old next month. She lives in a senior apartment complex. They don't provide much medical assistance - they have pull bars if they fall and need help, and nurses come by every other week or so. She lives an hour away from my mom and I - we're her only family. I do go up there for school three days a week, and sometimes stay with her if I don't feel like driving back home at night.
She has been complaining about people shining lights in her window at night. She talks like it is someone flashing a flashlight, but she sees no one. There is another woman on her floor that also sees it. We figured it was probably the cops checking things out, as the neighborhood has a considerable amount of crime. However, what we don't understand is that lately, she also claims she sees a smaller light - she can't see the actual source of the light, but describes what I think could be a laser beam hitting her body. She complains that it burns, but she doesn't have any noticeable marks on her or her windows. I honestly don't understand how anything could actually transmit heat like that, unless it's a medical laser. I made the mistake of commenting that it sounds like a laser pointer my professors use or a laser kids use in laser tag. Now she's worried that it's some kind of scientific laser that will hurt her. It's entirely possible that a group of kids could've flashed lights around the complex, maybe playing laser tag, as a gang of young boys broke into a store nearby recently. It's supposedly been going on a few weeks. I stayed with her a week ago, and she pointed toward the window to show me the lights. I saw nothing. She then said something like, oh, it's hard to tell, maybe it hasn't happened yet. She was able to go to sleep, and I thought she was doing better.
Today, she called my mom and said she felt unsafe where she is, and could she find her an apartment in town. She also called me, and I suggested she come down and stay with us, as she really seemed scared of this "laser." She said she'd stay at one of her neighbor's apartments tonight, the one that also complained about seeing the light. The neighbor has said that they're not shining them as much on her windows now, so grandma says she'll feel safer over there. My mom and I don't how what to do. We've checked into some older living complexes nearby, so hopefully she'll get into one of those soon. We can monitor her more easily that way, to see if something is really off. She is very stubborn, though, and has resisted moving back here before, or else changed her mind. She has always been kind of ditzy, so I don't know if she's just over-analyzing this lights issue, or is starting to go into alzheimer's. To those of you who've encountered this with loved ones - what do you think of this situation? Is it really serious? Is there some way the doctor could do a psychiatric evaluation on her that will be covered under Medicare? I have heard of pills you can take at the beginning stages of the disease, which are supposed to help. I know there's no cure. I think she should at least talk to a doctor, who may be able to see red flags, but she insists nothing is wrong. I don't know for sure that there is, but the "laser" has bothered her so much that she's not sleeping. She always sounds very tired, though seems to make sense when talking about other stuff... What is going on here - any advice?
Sponsor
Martha H
08-30-2005, 04:14 PM
Dear LeeLee,
It looks to me like a delusion. These do happen in Alzheimer's Disease but also in many other conditions.
Maybe something as simple as thick drapes over the windows or blinds that shut out all outside light would reassure her?
Meanwhile why not mention this to her doctor before her next checkup and see what he or she thinks? They have some informal ways of assessing the mental health of the elderly.
My Mom has a form of Dementia and has had several hallucinations, especially seeing her friend who died years ago .. whether she actually 'sees' her I cannot tell, but she believes she was there.
Good luck ..come back and let us know how this turns out.
Love,
Martha
It looks to me like a delusion. These do happen in Alzheimer's Disease but also in many other conditions.
Maybe something as simple as thick drapes over the windows or blinds that shut out all outside light would reassure her?
Meanwhile why not mention this to her doctor before her next checkup and see what he or she thinks? They have some informal ways of assessing the mental health of the elderly.
My Mom has a form of Dementia and has had several hallucinations, especially seeing her friend who died years ago .. whether she actually 'sees' her I cannot tell, but she believes she was there.
Good luck ..come back and let us know how this turns out.
Love,
Martha
ToBeFreeToRoam
08-31-2005, 01:18 AM
Hi LeeLee,
I would do like Martha said and either talk to her dr. ahead of an appointment (not too far from now) or write him a note. For 2 of my fathers drs., I wrote them each a 1 page letter and dropped it by their receptionists. The drs. read them and either called me back personally or had their nurse call me. But he was already diagnosed as having alzheimers. Most drs. in my area, are really eager to talk to family members about their elder patients. Privacy issues or not! They know family memberts will also help the dr. (with the elder patient)!
Hope your grandmother checks out ok. Take care. Wannabe
I would do like Martha said and either talk to her dr. ahead of an appointment (not too far from now) or write him a note. For 2 of my fathers drs., I wrote them each a 1 page letter and dropped it by their receptionists. The drs. read them and either called me back personally or had their nurse call me. But he was already diagnosed as having alzheimers. Most drs. in my area, are really eager to talk to family members about their elder patients. Privacy issues or not! They know family memberts will also help the dr. (with the elder patient)!
Hope your grandmother checks out ok. Take care. Wannabe
angel_bear
08-31-2005, 05:03 AM
Yep .. I did that too .. 4 A4 pages ... handed it to the doctor, and while I sat there and cried and cried and used his tissues, he read and read .. FINALLY he listened to me ........
It was such a relief ....... now I drop in a note before I get there so he is forwarned, especially if I have MIL with me.
Goodluck .. this is horrible.
Sally
It was such a relief ....... now I drop in a note before I get there so he is forwarned, especially if I have MIL with me.
Goodluck .. this is horrible.
Sally
BarbaraH
08-31-2005, 11:04 AM
Hi -
Another thing to consider, especially as another lady is seeing the lights, too, is that they are real. The laser part is certainly out to lunch, but it might be just an Alzheimer-garbled explanation for the real lights. My mother fussed about people in her room at night and come to find out, the nurse did come in at night to check on Mom. Mom's interpretation of what was real was confused.
Perhaps the facility's security staff walk around the building at night and use flashlights. It's reasonable. I suggest asking the facility about what might account for these reports of lights as there may be a simple explanation. The thick curtains or light-blocking shades like Martha mentioned might be the solution, along with the reassurance to your Grandmother that the lights won't bother her any more.
My Mom's hallucinations were of people she loved who had already died. It was a stage that didn't last long for her.
If there is no simple explanation of the lights, tell the doctor as she may benefit from a sleeping pill (as my mother did).
Would it be possible for your grandmother to move closer to your parent's home? The change might make her feel safer. If she is headed into Alzheiemer's, it will be convenient to have her as close as is possible.
Wishing you well - Barbara
Another thing to consider, especially as another lady is seeing the lights, too, is that they are real. The laser part is certainly out to lunch, but it might be just an Alzheimer-garbled explanation for the real lights. My mother fussed about people in her room at night and come to find out, the nurse did come in at night to check on Mom. Mom's interpretation of what was real was confused.
Perhaps the facility's security staff walk around the building at night and use flashlights. It's reasonable. I suggest asking the facility about what might account for these reports of lights as there may be a simple explanation. The thick curtains or light-blocking shades like Martha mentioned might be the solution, along with the reassurance to your Grandmother that the lights won't bother her any more.
My Mom's hallucinations were of people she loved who had already died. It was a stage that didn't last long for her.
If there is no simple explanation of the lights, tell the doctor as she may benefit from a sleeping pill (as my mother did).
Would it be possible for your grandmother to move closer to your parent's home? The change might make her feel safer. If she is headed into Alzheiemer's, it will be convenient to have her as close as is possible.
Wishing you well - Barbara
LeeLee3
08-31-2005, 02:37 PM
Thank you guys for your thoughtful responses...
Maybe something as simple as thick drapes over the windows or blinds that shut out all outside light would reassure her?
I suggested installing a styrofoam sheet inside the window. I live right behind a loading dock, and was bothered by the trucks going in and out at night. It did help block out some of the noise, and definitely blocks any light. She didn't like that idea, but told me she was going to buy some heavy blankets to hang. As far as I know, she hasn't done that, though she said she hung a bathrobe over the window, which apparently didn't help because she claimed the laser went right through that.
I would do like Martha said and either talk to her dr. ahead of an appointment (not too far from now) or write him a note.
That's a good idea - I'll tell my mom, since my grandma usually talks to her about future doctor appointments.
Perhaps the facility's security staff walk around the building at night and use flashlights. It's reasonable. I suggest asking the facility about what might account for these reports of lights as there may be a simple explanation.
They have a manager that lives there all the time. He isn't as good as the one they had before. They alerted him a couple of times, but he just said call the police and went back to bed. They have a police number they can call - they have said that they will patrol the area more, but lately, they've basically ignored grandma's calls. She's called them many times. I don't think she's as worried about the flashlights as much as this laser.
Well, there's not much we can do from here. She is coming down tomorrow to look at apartments with my mom. There are similar ones to the one she's living at now that are close to my apartment building.
I will keep you posted. Hopefully, she will be alright, at least for the meanwhile.
Maybe something as simple as thick drapes over the windows or blinds that shut out all outside light would reassure her?
I suggested installing a styrofoam sheet inside the window. I live right behind a loading dock, and was bothered by the trucks going in and out at night. It did help block out some of the noise, and definitely blocks any light. She didn't like that idea, but told me she was going to buy some heavy blankets to hang. As far as I know, she hasn't done that, though she said she hung a bathrobe over the window, which apparently didn't help because she claimed the laser went right through that.
I would do like Martha said and either talk to her dr. ahead of an appointment (not too far from now) or write him a note.
That's a good idea - I'll tell my mom, since my grandma usually talks to her about future doctor appointments.
Perhaps the facility's security staff walk around the building at night and use flashlights. It's reasonable. I suggest asking the facility about what might account for these reports of lights as there may be a simple explanation.
They have a manager that lives there all the time. He isn't as good as the one they had before. They alerted him a couple of times, but he just said call the police and went back to bed. They have a police number they can call - they have said that they will patrol the area more, but lately, they've basically ignored grandma's calls. She's called them many times. I don't think she's as worried about the flashlights as much as this laser.
Well, there's not much we can do from here. She is coming down tomorrow to look at apartments with my mom. There are similar ones to the one she's living at now that are close to my apartment building.
I will keep you posted. Hopefully, she will be alright, at least for the meanwhile.
hiphop
09-03-2005, 05:36 PM
Hi LeeLee3,
Its very difficult to know but does sound like you it would be good to take your grandma to see a doctor for tests such as memory tests and perhaps a brain scan, she does seem very confused but it could be down to different reasons not always dementia , my friend has alzheimers and she got it when she was 35 it was awful times for us she started of forgetting things, sometimes turning quite nasty which was not my friends nature at all, as time went on her memory got very bad so we took her to the doctor and she underwent so many tests because of her age they did not think it would be anything like alzheimers but it was, she went on medication when she got to about 37 which then slowed the disease down but you can only go on it for a certain period of time and then they stop working, she is in an old peoples home at the age 42 still going strong but is not mobile etc but she still recognizes me which is a blessing, so good luck an please let me know how you are getting on :wave: :wave:
Its very difficult to know but does sound like you it would be good to take your grandma to see a doctor for tests such as memory tests and perhaps a brain scan, she does seem very confused but it could be down to different reasons not always dementia , my friend has alzheimers and she got it when she was 35 it was awful times for us she started of forgetting things, sometimes turning quite nasty which was not my friends nature at all, as time went on her memory got very bad so we took her to the doctor and she underwent so many tests because of her age they did not think it would be anything like alzheimers but it was, she went on medication when she got to about 37 which then slowed the disease down but you can only go on it for a certain period of time and then they stop working, she is in an old peoples home at the age 42 still going strong but is not mobile etc but she still recognizes me which is a blessing, so good luck an please let me know how you are getting on :wave: :wave:
angel_bear
09-03-2005, 07:14 PM
I just heard on the news that there is an eye disease that gives the person the impression of flashing lights, like someone is using a flashlight to look through a window ......... has she had her eyes checked???
Goodluck
Sally
Goodluck
Sally
Martha H
09-03-2005, 08:45 PM
Good idea Sal .. it is called retinal detachment and needs immediate laser treatment to prevent blindness .. you are a good long distance diagnostician .. now what can you do for my ragweed allergy!
(hugs)
Martha
(hugs)
Martha
angel_bear
09-03-2005, 10:27 PM
I'm working on that LOL
patience is a virtue
Hugs back
Sal
patience is a virtue
Hugs back
Sal
hiphop
09-06-2005, 05:32 PM
:) Hi LeeLee,
I hope you did not think i was being too morbid its just i answered the question to beginning stages of Alzheimers, as i thought that was the question, sorry,
best wishes and good luck
hiphop
I hope you did not think i was being too morbid its just i answered the question to beginning stages of Alzheimers, as i thought that was the question, sorry,
best wishes and good luck
hiphop