justintym
08-30-2005, 02:04 PM
It has been a long time since I have even visited the boards. Things have gone crazy here at home.
Now to the problem (I think of it as one). My b/f of 6.5 years has a daughter, and until this last June I considered her mine too. She came to live with us four years ago. Since that time, she has attempted to have three affairs with men that are older than her. The first one was 9 years, the second only 4 years and this last one is twice her age. She is eighteen now, and I have been informed by her that she can do as she pleases, her life is none of my business and I need to stay out of it. She was told by her father that she needed to move, she was no longer welcome here.(and she has) This is because the lastest affair was with my b/f's boss, who happens to be married. Now, the boss and his wife have mutually agreed to go to counselling, and have not missed an appointment yet. He has not attempted to contact the "daughter" for over a month. She on the other hand has done some things that I would assume goes against most anti-stalking laws in our state. She has called the place of business over 50 times in the last month and hung up when the boss didn't answer. He has a secretary that answers the phones during business hours and daughter knows this. She recently purchased her first car and now drives by the business frequently. This action has been witnessed by the wife, myself, the wife's family and the boss.
The daughter believes the boss will leave his wife of 20+ years for her, give her all his 'toys' and she will live happily ever after. My b/f and I share the same extra curricular activity as the boss and his wife. We have alot of fun when the daughter is not around. She insists on coming to these events and trying to insert herself in the activity. We have tried to get her to stop coming, but since it is an actual public event, she shows up anyway.
Is there anything we can do to get her to stop her "obsession" and to stay away for a while at least? Can we force her somhow to get counciling? :confused:
Now to the problem (I think of it as one). My b/f of 6.5 years has a daughter, and until this last June I considered her mine too. She came to live with us four years ago. Since that time, she has attempted to have three affairs with men that are older than her. The first one was 9 years, the second only 4 years and this last one is twice her age. She is eighteen now, and I have been informed by her that she can do as she pleases, her life is none of my business and I need to stay out of it. She was told by her father that she needed to move, she was no longer welcome here.(and she has) This is because the lastest affair was with my b/f's boss, who happens to be married. Now, the boss and his wife have mutually agreed to go to counselling, and have not missed an appointment yet. He has not attempted to contact the "daughter" for over a month. She on the other hand has done some things that I would assume goes against most anti-stalking laws in our state. She has called the place of business over 50 times in the last month and hung up when the boss didn't answer. He has a secretary that answers the phones during business hours and daughter knows this. She recently purchased her first car and now drives by the business frequently. This action has been witnessed by the wife, myself, the wife's family and the boss.
The daughter believes the boss will leave his wife of 20+ years for her, give her all his 'toys' and she will live happily ever after. My b/f and I share the same extra curricular activity as the boss and his wife. We have alot of fun when the daughter is not around. She insists on coming to these events and trying to insert herself in the activity. We have tried to get her to stop coming, but since it is an actual public event, she shows up anyway.
Is there anything we can do to get her to stop her "obsession" and to stay away for a while at least? Can we force her somhow to get counciling? :confused:
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SRMom
08-30-2005, 02:22 PM
I don't think you can force an "adult" into counseling, especially if she isn't living with you. It definitely sounds like obsessive behavior and the boss and his wife could probably have her arrested for harassment. The young lady sounds extremely immature and spoiled with very low self-esteem. If she thinks some older man will hand her a happy life on a silver platter without working hard and earning a good life for herself, she obviously doesn't realize any self worth. I sympathize with you and your husband...my stepson has behaved in ways we haven't approved of, so I know a little bit about how you feel. I think you could ask your "daughter" if she would like to see a counselor and offer to pay for it. That's what I would do. Otherwise, if she is as headstrong as my stepson, just try not to worry and be there for her when she crashes and burns (so to speak).