itsjustmeLR
09-06-2005, 08:35 PM
I am wondering if there is a less severe form of OCD because I highly doubt that I have ODC but in reading over some of the recent posts I have noticed that some of you who are diagnosed as OCD do certain things similarly to me. For example, I sometimes mentally go over conversations again and again going over all of the different scenarios or what could be said. While doing this I sometimes catch myself mumbling the conversation to myself. Also, I sometimes imagine what would happen if a kid brought a gun to my school, or my family got in a car crash, etc. However, these thoughts seem to be atypical of OCD because they do not cause aggitation.
Additionally, I have read that a common obsessive thought is the thought of harming oneself. I often think of this and think of suicide often. However, again I don't think these thoughts are consistent with ODC because I have actually been a cutter and at certain depressed points actually wanted to commit suicide. (Although I think about suicide without particularly wanting to do it even when im not depressed)
As far as compulsions go, I seem not to have any consistent compulsions. However, in another thread someone else talked about having to always add up the numbers on a clock. i do something similar. On digital clocks I try to find a way to either have the numbers be sequential, one side of the : be the reflecion of the other side, have the outer digets add to the same number as the inside digits, etc. But again, if I not doing this doesn't cause me real aggitation. Im not a neat freak but always stack/ order things biggest to littlest.
I also seem to occasionally get in a mode where I do steryotypically ODCish things (especially when i have alot of caffeine) Instances of this include my scrubbing the shower or sink at 2:30 in the morning because it was dirty, washing my hands a certain way, "needing" to organize a box of matches (you know the wood kind) so that they were alternating the way the heads were facing, etc. But these compulsions are not consistently present in my behavior.
Anyway, I don't know If anything I just said makes sense. Im probably just being paraniod, I tend to think any mental illness could apply to me. (Like a mental health hypocondriac- lol!) Any thoughts you have on the matter woud be appreciated.
Additionally, I have read that a common obsessive thought is the thought of harming oneself. I often think of this and think of suicide often. However, again I don't think these thoughts are consistent with ODC because I have actually been a cutter and at certain depressed points actually wanted to commit suicide. (Although I think about suicide without particularly wanting to do it even when im not depressed)
As far as compulsions go, I seem not to have any consistent compulsions. However, in another thread someone else talked about having to always add up the numbers on a clock. i do something similar. On digital clocks I try to find a way to either have the numbers be sequential, one side of the : be the reflecion of the other side, have the outer digets add to the same number as the inside digits, etc. But again, if I not doing this doesn't cause me real aggitation. Im not a neat freak but always stack/ order things biggest to littlest.
I also seem to occasionally get in a mode where I do steryotypically ODCish things (especially when i have alot of caffeine) Instances of this include my scrubbing the shower or sink at 2:30 in the morning because it was dirty, washing my hands a certain way, "needing" to organize a box of matches (you know the wood kind) so that they were alternating the way the heads were facing, etc. But these compulsions are not consistently present in my behavior.
Anyway, I don't know If anything I just said makes sense. Im probably just being paraniod, I tend to think any mental illness could apply to me. (Like a mental health hypocondriac- lol!) Any thoughts you have on the matter woud be appreciated.
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seriousperson
09-06-2005, 10:57 PM
Sounds like some degree of OCD to me. Mine is a little more obvious (to people outside my even-more-OCD-ish family).
It helps me to think of these things as a continuum. That is, a long thread going in both directions out of sight. On the far end of non-OCD-ness are people who perhaps live on the street or, if having inherited wealth, just go through each day without any ruffled feathers.
On the other end of my imaginary thread/continuum, are...well...my parents. LOL They have had their 3 square meals and a night snack for the last 80+ years. My dad will not let company load the dishwasher until they've learned the correct position of each kind of dish. My mother has had her hair done on the same day of the week for about 35 years. Etc., etc.
In the middle, are all the supposedly normal people who observe Christmas with a tree, Easter with eggs, Thanksgiving with turkey, etc.
But you definitely sound depressed too. The suicidal thoughts are a dead give-away. Sorry for the pun, but I thought you might appreciate it.
Having had depression all my life, I can say that it's like OCD in that the thoughts keep going round and round, the only difference being that it's the unhappy thoughts that keep getting recycled.
It helps me to think of these things as a continuum. That is, a long thread going in both directions out of sight. On the far end of non-OCD-ness are people who perhaps live on the street or, if having inherited wealth, just go through each day without any ruffled feathers.
On the other end of my imaginary thread/continuum, are...well...my parents. LOL They have had their 3 square meals and a night snack for the last 80+ years. My dad will not let company load the dishwasher until they've learned the correct position of each kind of dish. My mother has had her hair done on the same day of the week for about 35 years. Etc., etc.
In the middle, are all the supposedly normal people who observe Christmas with a tree, Easter with eggs, Thanksgiving with turkey, etc.
But you definitely sound depressed too. The suicidal thoughts are a dead give-away. Sorry for the pun, but I thought you might appreciate it.
Having had depression all my life, I can say that it's like OCD in that the thoughts keep going round and round, the only difference being that it's the unhappy thoughts that keep getting recycled.
itsjustmeLR
09-06-2005, 11:24 PM
thanks for your response. That is a really good way of looking at it. And yes, i appreciated the pun lol!
rasaht
09-07-2005, 12:39 PM
Obsessive compulsive personality disorder can be very similar to OCD with the main difference being the agitation levels and irrationality of the behaviours. But I also think you can still have OCD that is milder or stronger. Lots of people report worse symptoms during times of emotional stress. In my experience, I have had the "textbook" OCD, but for many years now have just had OCD "tendencies" - which I just thought were personal quirks until I started reading these posts and recognised the same things in others! Many like what you have listed, and for the most part they don't cause me a whole lot of anxiety either. I'm totally the type to start tidying things up at 2am, also have certain ways of washing my hands, brushing my teeth and organising things! I'm a cutter too, but also don't ascribe that to OCD - just a symptom of depression.
itsjustmeLR
09-07-2005, 04:17 PM
Yeah, I think my cutting is a symptom of my depression more so than any OCD tendencies.