I have the respite for MIL !! 21st Sept to the 6th October! Oh lucky day.

But, for tonight, FIL has come home for 2 nights (we were only told 1 .. now on his arrival, we're told 2) whilst his bathroom at the nursing home is remodelled.

I was strong enough to say he could eat dinner with his wife and have some time with her (not that she wanted it) and we would have time upstairs. This is the way we want it. Well, that went down OK .. surprise surprise!

I gave them dinner .. and MIL pushed the chair away from the table, stood up, bent over, cut a piece of food and put it on her fork, sat down, chewed the piece. Stood up, bent over, cut another piece of food off, sat down, chewed the piece .. it wasn't until FIL told her to sit down, she sat properly.

A few hours pass, I've been up and down stairs all bloody night (so much for STUDY and HOMEWORK) settling him into bed and stuff, and MIL is there, looking cross. The next time I went down, he said she had gone to bed. So I'm finally settling him down, opening curtains, getting urine bottles ready and there she is, standing watching again. I said "I'll be back later" and left. A moment later, I went to 'hover' downstairs, and there is is in our doorway, swinging her handbag.

Umm . it's 9pm ..and that's her indication that she wants to go out ... I don't think so.

Next thing, she's disappeared, so I creep down my stairs to shut my door, and the next thing she's almost bashing down the door .. I 'appeared' and said "whatcha up to MIL" and she said her words, and I said "Do you want to go out?" and she said "Of course" when I told her it was late, and bedtime, and she got VERY cross with me, and tried to hit me !

Oh look !! Some behaviour just doesn't change !!!

She then went to FIL (as did I) and glared at him, and he started telling her the same thing as me, the shops are shut, the sun is down, it's bedtime ..

She didn't believe him either .. this scenario went on for close to 10 minutes.

She's not happy FIL is home. She's not happy he's calling on me to help, she wants her dementia drive, drunken little non-life back without FIL's influence ! Anyway, she told me to LEAVE, and I left, but she followed me, and pushed me into my door, and stomped into her room.

AND HE'S GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER NIGHT AT HOME !!!!

I'm dreading tomorrow .. absolutely DREADING it ....

Now he's organised me to: Make an appointment with Social Security for him tomorrow. Take his car to get a Pink slip for registration. Then I'm going out to the nursing home I volunteer at AND book MIL in for the RESPITE we've been given (yay .. a break) then actually REGISTER his car, then pick him up, take him to centrelink, take MIL shopping (yay me .. :-( ...) then come home, cook dinner .. settle him ... duck her

I hate my life.

Just officially. In case you didn't know.

Hugs
Sally

Sally..

'this too shall pass!" DON'T hate your life! You are there for a reason and for a time, not forever; you WILL have your life back. I am thankful you got the Respite Care for MIL, that will give you a little break, and who knows, after that she may be able to go straight to a NH (especially if they find her totally incapable of living alone, which is coming up in 3 months - tell them that!!)

Try to find something, however small, to enjoy every day - - - enjoy your dear children, getting a good mark at colege, talking to a friend, etc .. your life is really hard right now but it's still your life!

I wish I could come over there and help you ...

Love,

Martha

Oh, dear Sally,

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))) )))))))))))))))))))))))))!! I hear you!

Hang in there - FIL will be gone again in another day. His added demands are the deal breakers just like they were before he left home. It's just tooooooooo much. It's proof that he cannot come home without a minder 24/7 (whose name is NOT Sally) and that's just the way it is.

Prevail on the powers that be at "your" nursing home to make a way to keep MIL there after her respite days. That will allow your family to make repairs, paint if needed, and expand into the whole house for the last few months in NSW. You'll be helping get the house ready to sell, for BIL to move into, or whatever after your lot moves away. That's got to appeal to BIL on some level.

What you're dealing with now, trying to juggle and not commit any crimes :rolleyes: , and just survive is only a temporary part of your life. Hate the diseases, hate the immense number of directions you're being pulled, but you life isn't those things although it no doubt feels like it. You're exhausted and frustrated and in mourning for Doris and those emotions are draining.

As Martha said, do something just for yourself each day and refuse to be interrupted during that time - as I used to tell my sons, unless someone is bleeding, a bone is sticking out, or something is on fire. Turn your phone off. If you have to leave the house to have that space, okay. Take a walk in the neighborhood or at a garden center. Browse through a bookshop. Meet a friend for tea. If there's more time available, pack up some yummy things and go visit FIL's magnificent sister. She'd enjoy the tea party and so would you!

Find ways to keep breathing room for yourself. Anne Morrow Lindberg (wife of Lucky Lindy) wrote a book titled "Gifts of the Sea" and she talked about the many pulls on a woman's time. The little book was published about 50 years ago, but it's still available and may be at your library. I recommend it! A few pages or a chapter a day may help.

Wish I could help, too.

Blessings, friend, Barbara :wave:

Sally, what Martha said (this too shall pass) is a phrase I often tell myself in stressful situations. Here's another thing that helps me:

God, Grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

I close my eyes and sort of meditate while praying (I'm getting quite good at that). I can meditate with the tv blaring and people talking over it. I can shut them all out temporarily while regaining my sanity.

But sometimes, I must admit, I have thoughts of lining up the distractors of my sanity and speed slapping them! :) Just a thought. No violence here. lol

Sept. 21st, eh? That's one day past my birthday. I've been wishing the respite for you so maybe that's the birthday wish that came true? Damn! That means I don't get the million dollars I wished for! :D Oh well. All for a good cause. :)

Love, Barb

Hi Sally,

I am so glad that you got MIL in respite care!!! That is more than 2 weeks!! You will have a chance to rest up and do what ever you want in your spare time. Which probably really is not much time! What with your college, your volunteering, your family and FIL. But there should at least be some time to yourself. Take it and enjoy it. That is not very far away. Count the days til the respite care and then after that (if they do let her come home), you can count the days til moving time!

I do worry about you. Maybe you need some anxiety medicine? But it might would slow you down - with so much you have to do. I try to breathe the correct way. Just close your eyes and breathe in for a slow count of 5 and breathe out for a slow count of 10 or more. I breathe in thru my nose and out thru my mouth. Do at least 5 times. It helps me to calm down and relax!

I do have another question. What will MIL do in the NH, if she cannot drink alcohol?! Is it a locked door site? She will probably try to leave many times, unless it is locked or they give her calming drugs. But do not worry, they will handle her, that is what respite time is. For you to have some respite and them to worry about MIL!!! Anyway, when she does go in, or a few days b4, warn them that she does drink a lot. They should know. Of course, you probably already know that, with your background and college learning!

Take care and do not hate your life. Just hate your situation for moment.

Love, Wannabe

The Facility MIL is going to for Respite (the lovely nursing home I volunteer at) is a locked door facility. Yes, MIL may actually get a bit 'stroppy' when she can't go shopping for herself and leave when she wants to. I was told to SHUTUP today about her potential for violence. If they think she's violent, they won't take her. If they take her and she shows violence, then that's something they have to deal with on the spot.

FIL is driving me mad.

This morning, I leapt into his car, took Brianna to school (almost typed work then), ducked off to the icky nursing home, grabbed his cushion and his papers, and a nurse came up to me and said .............

"We really need his single room for a palliative patient, John will have to move"

And I lost it. DON'T move him if you can move anybody else. DON'T give him ANY reasons to COME HOME. DON'T DO THIS TO ME ....

and promptly burst out crying. I said "I've been hit and shoved into a door, run up and down stairs uncountable times, done NO homework, and he's only been gone 24 hours ... it's too BLOODY HARD" and went out the door and sat in the car and cried.

I then composed myself, and came home. FIL wants to see Social Security, so I rang them, but they didn't have an appointment for him until the 23rd (his birthday). I did all this whilst sitting in the car, up the road from the house, waiting for the Day Care Bus to turn up and pick up MIL, which it finally did. Once SHE left, I came home.

Now .. it's 9am .. and I have to have the car at the mechanics to get ready for registration at 9.30am, then off to volunteering at 10am .. and as I go up the stairs with FIL's newspapers and cushion he says ............

"Any chance of a shower?"

I could have hit him. "NO" I said strongly, I don't have time. I have to do things. I DID tell you, and you said you would cope with things"

So he grudgingly went and sat at his computer chair and said ....

"I haven't had a coffee"

So I said "Please Sally, could you make me a cup of coffee please? Yes, of course I can John ...................."

and went and made him a coffee.

Then his phone rang. It was his nursing home asking to see me at my earliest convenience because they were concerned I was upset.

By now, it's 9.15am .. I have to go ........... so I went. FIL said "What am I going to do for lunch?" I said "Ring BIL" and out the door I went.

I went and got his car checked (and bumped into BIL and "L") and then I went to the nursing home and found the recreation officer is sick with the flu (hospitalised from what I can gather, so yes, she's REALLY sick) so I did hand massages again, and helped gather residents for a church service (real catholic priest and all!!) and cajoled a few residents to come for a church service, and took a few for a walk (who managed to sit for the church service)

We had a full house ! LOL

I got a phone call from the Respite Officer, "M", he's a nice lad, and we got that side of the "paperwork" done ..

Then ...... Lo and behold ........ I find a badge ....... with my name on it! I said "Oooooo .. I should pinch this" and the nurse on duty said "But it's yours"

OOOooooooooooooo ............ it says SALLY - Assistant in Nursing

and I'm not even qualified yet ................ and I picked up a job application too .. gimme a badge, means you want me LOL.

Anyway, after that, I went and hid at my girlfriends house for a couple of hours, and 'debriefed' over last nights debacle, then went and got FIL's car registered (always a wait) and then .....................

I went to his nursing home (it's 3.10pm by now) for the next hour, I spent crying, talking, talking, crying, and found out:

1) FIL hasn't signed the resident contract
2) FIL hasn't paid his fortnight in advance, he's doing in arrears
3) FIL is refusing to pay the amount they (and the government) have estimated he pays, he believes he should pay less. Why? No reason except he's special.
4) The Single room was only TEMPORARY. On his return (tomorrow, fingers crossed) he will be going to a DOUBLE room. They have a lovely bunk buddy for him, who can walk, and talk, but is too ill to stay at home. They should get on very well. I'm waiting for the scream.
5) if FIL DOESN'T sign the resident contract, they will be charging him double (it's their right)

I can see ALOT of screaming happening .. for sure.

Now .. in that HOUR I spent chatting .. FIL rang me 7 times.

7

I didn't answer any of them. Alan rang me (answered him) and caught him up with the state of affairs, and said FIL had rung me (stalking more like it) and he went to FIL who asked for NOTHING.

When I got home, FIL called AGAIN .. I went downstairs .. and what did he want?

To have his pants pulled up.

I informed FIL that since I couldn't get any school work done LAST NIGHT, I AM going to do it TONIGHT, which means I won't be available AT ALL.

Like that's gonna happen.

OK .. I hate my life right now, but am finding positives in each day. Trouble is, the negatives are outweighing the good .. but never mind. I shall survive.

Hugs to my understanding, empathetic friends.

Sally

Dear Sally,

It is beginning to look as if FIL has some kind of dementia himself! Why not sign papers that will save him money? What is his purpose for calling you 7 times during one hour? Without any real need? I think HE needs to be tested for dementia....

It is obvious that having HIM is harder than having MIL as a patient, and both of them is a recipe for disaster. YOU may wind up in a hospital. This is not possible for you (or anybody) and you've got to prevent him 'coming home' ever again .. the NH has to find a bed for him when they do repairs ..

Doesn't someone have Power of Attorney for him? I tohught the 3 sons together held it? If so let THEM sign the missing papers...

Hang in there, relief is in sight!

Love,

Martha

FIL is being STUBBORN. It's his only line of defence that he has control of. I get it. I understand... but he's willing to be this damn difficult at the cost of others.

Ok .. he rang my phone tonight. Alan went down. FIL said "I want to be tucked into bed" Alan said "I've got my kids to tuck into bed, you can wait" .... FIL didn't have much to say after that bit.

BIL spent HOURS here tonight. Not sure if he's 'helping' or 'showing off' .. I can't tell the difference anymore.

The boys took FIL to the club tonight. They took MIL as well. Apparently she was incontinent AT THE CLUB.

Yup .. she's ok ...............HARDLY ................... I gave them dinner, FIL isn't happy we're not spending time with MIL.

BAD BLOODY LUCK!! He's not the one hit!! Her behaviour from last night just PROVED nothing has changed for her when he's in the house. Why do these people CONTINUALLY approve she hits and hurts me?? WHY, WHY WHY?????? IT'S NOT !!!!

Anyway .. I have college tomorrow .. I'm not home. Alan has an appointment early in the morning and should be home by 10am'ish. He's going to take FIL back to the nursing home. If FIL REFUSES to go there, then Alan will say "fine, but I'm going to pack a bag . . . we're leaving" ...... he says he's strong enough ..

God, I hope so.

I hate this. I totally hate this. I've come apart at the seams in a remarkably short time, which scares me. HE MUST GO BACK .. I know I will crack if he doesn't...

If I sound hysterical, please accept my apologies, but I am in a panic. I'm so depressed right now. I couldn't eat dinner last night, nor breakfast this morning. I had a seafood salad for lunch, and now .. for dinner... I don't want to eat again.

yeah .. ok .. I could lose some weight, but not this way ............

Sorry for whinging and complaining .. you guys have enough on your plates and don't need my crap .. but I just gotta let it out y'know?

Hugs
Sally

Sally, Don't ever think you are complaining or whinging too much. That is why we are here .. to listen and understand how you feel. I hope your DH can make good on his word .. if FIL refuses to go back, your family is out of there, even if you have to sleep in a tent ...

Love, blessings, hugs and a shot of "I can do this..."

Martha

Hi Sally,

You're not out of line in anything you're saying, writing, or feeling. You're normal in a twisted situation and FIL is making it much worse (and that's being kind). This all is so much like it was before FIL left. Scary how quickly all hit the fan. It's good you cried and lost it as that tells the NH like nothing else will that home is NOT an option for John. Crying is healthy, too. Call ACAT and tell all, cry if you need to and make them find a nicer place for FIL!

Cheers for your techniques to care for yourself! You made your calls away from the house, you stayed away until MIL was gone, and your sought sanctuary and safe haven at the home of a friend. Good for you!

Now, change your cell phone number and don't give the new one to John OR keep your phone turned off most of the time. Think back about 10 years - no cell phones, no being at each other's beck and call. Life was okay without cell phones, a bit inconvenient in ways, but it was the normal way of life. You can free yourself of this enslaving object. If not ...

Is it possible to hang on until holidays and the respite care and see if MIL comes home after.... see if FIL can go elsewhere ...see if having FIL away allows things to settle back down? If not ....

Is it possible to tell FIL you have 3 fulltime jobs and no time in the schedule to add him in? You know his living arrangements aren't his first choice, but you didn't make him ill and you cannot fix his situation. Being stubborn only wastes his money, everyone's patience, and pi$$es off the help! You are one person and can do no more... pull up his own *** pants in the future ... AND you expect to be defended against physical attack!!

If not ... Is it possible to up and move to Queensland mid-school term for everyone? Could you jump into classes there or do you really need to stay where you are for the next 16 weeks or so? Maybe an inexpensive local rental will be the way to go. Good luck finding it quickly!!

Honey, maybe moving will end any chance of inheritance from FIL and MIL if BIL is really bad, but if Alan is okay with that possibility, hit the road now or vent here until you can hit the road!!!!!!!!

Save yourself and your family. You and Alan do as you need to and let the chips fall where they may. Nobody needs or deserves this outrageous treatment.

My house is in eternal (seems that way) remodel chaos, but you can come see me!

Many ((((((hugs)))))) and wishes all will soon be reasonable and calm.

Shrea, shrea.... Barbara :wave:

Hi Sally! Short note. Have to get back to work. I just wanted to say I think you needed to vent and you did the right thing. My hubby sometimes rings me often like that. When it starts to irritate me, I silence it and check the voice mails later.

I'm proud of how you handled those situations! Good on you for taking a stand!

Love, Barb

Hi there Sally,

I would like to give you a big fat juicy hug!!!!! Just pretend you are getting one that lasts about 5 minutes! I wish that I could be there to help you. I would help a little, only if they really needed it at the moment. Then I would tell them what for!!! They really have no right to treat you like dirt! FIL should just be taken to the NH and left. He cannot come back home, if know one picks him up! Change the locks and see if he takes you to court?! I know too radical. But, you can dream.

I am so glad that your husband is taking up for you. Lets hope that what he told FIL works, so you guys do not have to move out, mid semester. If you do, maybe yall can get a small rent place, close to your schools. Take some of MILs $ if you need to. Deal with the consequences later. After all, you both should be paid for all the caring and driving and cleaning and cooking and entertaining. If you have time, continue to keep your log book.

I think you and your husband have done the right thing - standing up to FIL! Maybe he will get the picture. I bet he could put some pressure on BIL, if he really wanted to.

I bet that was exciting to see: Sally - Assistant in Nursing. Your very own badge with who you are and what you will be. Keep that in site and maybe it will cheer you up. Like you said. Look for the little bright spots in your terrible days you are having lately. Look to the future. It is not far. If you guys can just hold out. Whether is where you live now, or where you must stay for a short time til January.

I know it is really hard for you now, but I also know that you are a very strong person. You can do what you have to do - just try not to do any more than you must. You need to preserve your sanity, for your sake and your immediate family!

Come back and say anything and everything that you need or want to. Let it all out! And cry as much as you need, whenever you need to. We are here to listen and talk. Take care of you, be kind to yourself, and love yourself. We care.

Love, Wannabe

Hi Sally,

Is himself back in the "home" with or without a new roomie?? :eek: I do hope so! I've been listening for the scream!

As wacky as it is, life with MIL is a tamer crazy with a person who's lost herself and cannot help it. She's doing fairly well when that's taken into consideration - mostly because you discard the poorly stored food and clean the messes :rolleyes: On the other hand, FIL is all the more irritating because he's selfish and stubborn and he can help it. You might be back to a calm, if unpredictable, life at home with himself outta there!

Do I need to find home rentals for you?!! It's no trouble - I really enjoy househunting. Really! :D

Strange to consider school as a haven, isn't it? It is and you're doing so well!! What's next in the curriculum? Do please consider going on to be a nurse. You'll love it! Real treatments, surgeries, and medicines that help the patient feel better and get better. It's wonderful, hopeful, and such a different world from the sad, steady decline of AD that happens no matter what you do, say, how wonderful the person is/was, or how much the person is loved.

Talk to us and have some tea. Take a nap and listen to music. Care for you.

Blessings and hugs - Barbara :wave:

Sally I just wanted to pop in and see how thing were going and boy from what I have read they are really going.

I wonder from all that I have read if FIL is acting this way from jealousy also?? If MIL did most of everything before her illness and he was first and now she is stealing his limelight it is not going over well.

You have gone far beyond the expectations of any person for your in laws and if your brother in laws can't see this then maybe a smack on the head from the nursing home would help. My brothers received an eye opening talking to by moms care nurse one day after she noticed how I was treated. Not that it changed their actions much but just knowing that someone acknowledged my attempts and confirmed my sanity made all the difference. You are an incredible person and an even better daughter in law even if BIL, MIL and FIL don't know it.

Question??? Why are you registering a car for FIL. I pray its for your use to play chauffer.

Dear Barbara,

That is the positive side of nursing. My daughter who is a child therapist also says she lives for the success stories, and there are many. Disturbed, abused and dysfunctional kids and families get well.

I cannot bear the thought of ever having to work in an Alzheimer home, but I am sure (thank God) there are people who feel called to this kind of serivce, and may HE bless them all richly.

I am sure Mom will wind up ins uch a place unless she passes on sooner ... my brohter is feeling stir crazy being with her 24/7. He hasn't said it, but how can she NOT be waking him up at night when she was doing that to me way back in February to June?

He will enjoy the 3 weeks respite granted by E, but after that the road stretches on. and on. I remember feeling so horribly guilty for my thoughts, which are now the same for him ... "Maybe she won't be around much longer." What a way to think of your mother. But the 'real' her is already gone. I spoke to her on the phone again and she sounded fine, knew it was raining, knew winter was coming ... didn't tell me anything about the hallucinated monkey ... so I can see how one would want her to be just a phonecall away ..but NOT in your bedroom waking you up all night long ...

Love,

Martha

Ok .. quick update,

I was at school yesterday, constantly checking my phone to see if Alan got FIL back to the nursing home, but alas .. it didn't happen.

FIL checked himself into hospital instead.

Apparently, FIL rang the nursing home, found out he was being put in a shared room. He then rang another nursing home and demanded a bed NOW, and was told Forget It, and then he promptly rang an ambulance.

He is FIGHTING returning to the Nursing home ...............

Gotta run
Hugs
Thanks for the support
(Yes, the car is registered for me and Alan to use)

More soon
Sally

OH and next on the school curriculum is a FIELD TRIP to some facilities, some acute care, a hostel, and a nursing home .. that's Monday .. then on Tuesday we have a Occupational Health & Safety Workshop where we get ANOTHER book signed off.

I actually had time last night to finish another module .. I am VERY up to date with my work, so I am pleased about that. But by golly it's been hard to ENFORCE others to let me HAVE the time to do this ....

I'm being tugged in so many directions ...

Hugs
Sal

And .... *busy morning this morning* .. On my way to taking the kids to school FIL rings me ... the phone kept cutting out, but the garbled message was he's being sent BACK to the Nursing home today!

So THAT little ploy DIDN'T work either! He was estimating he would be on antibiotics for a week, and so would have a week up at the hospital, but alas, nursing home patients have 24/7 nursing care at their facility, and therefore, a bed at the public hospital can be freed up.

I'm beginning to agree with that horrible original nurse who said FIL had to succumb to the establishments rules and regulations .... bad bad Sally .... (PS: That horrible nurse quit 2 weeks ago LOL).

Hugs to all my very patient and understanding friends ....

4 months to go (date wise)... 16 weeks .... 112 days ..............

Not long at all really ... not long at all ...

Hugs
Sally

PS: Next drama is getting the MONEY off the family to pay for MIL's respite .. $474 .... she goes in NEXT Wednesday ...... fingers crossed !!!

YAY!!!!! :bouncing:

FIL is learning he can't pull the strings of the medical establishment like he's tried so hard to do with you. Hard lesson. But one that must be learned.

A field trip? How cool is that?! What is a hostel? Is that an assisted living facility?

Love, Barb

Hi Sally!

Hugs a'plenty as you are in the vacinity of the fall-out of FIL's failed ploy to avoid sharing a room at the NH! Fair warning, turn off you phone and head for the hills!!!!!

Cheers - I think you're winning! Barbara :)

Ok .. here's my interpretation of Aged Care in NSW Australia ...

You can:

a) live at home with 'packages' that you pay for to keep you at home. You can get everything you want, but you WILL pay for it, albeit, on a sliding scale depending on your assets & income.

b) you can move to an Assisted Living Facility, where you are independent in all ways, however, each accommodation (1 or 2 bedroom apartments/villa's etc) has a Call button. If you need help, help will come quickly. In the old days, if you needed too much help too often, they would step you up to:

c) the Hostel. This is where you have a room .. sometimes shared, sometimes not, depends on your facility, you don't need MUCH help, but you need SOME help. Your not really confident at being fully independent. In the old days, if you needed more help more often, they would step you up to:

d) The Nursing Home. This is God's waiting room basically. A lot more clinical and sterile, not as homey as a hostel. You get High Care around the clock here.

Now ... Aged Care is changing in australia, and a new package has been brought in and it's called "Aging in Place" which means:

You don't have to move anymore. If your in one of these lucky places that have ALF's, Hostels and nursing homes on the same premises, you don't have to leave your comfy area at all. The extra services will be brought to YOU. I'm not sure about privately run ALF's, but most Aged Care Facilities have Hostel and nursing home in the same premises. So that means:

If you went in today as LOW care (Hostel patient) and got sicker, and sicker and sicker and needed more and more help, you would STAY in your room in the hostel. You wouldn't be moved up to a nursing home, the staff required will be brought to you instead.

Less upsetting for the patient.

The only time this pretty much doesn't apply is for violent and wandering dementia patients who are a threat to self and others. Then all the rules change again.

Did that make sense?

Hugs
Sally
(Who is just back from getting her hair done, and I'm now mahogany, blonde and honey)

Oh and FIL is in the nursing home. It's 1.06pm and Alan is still there with him, so I daresay a battle is happening ....

I'll just sit here quietly, with my lovely new coloured hair and be quiet ... LOL

Hugs again
Sal

Hi Sally,

I am so glad that you "sound" better. When you look at it like that - 4 mo. or 16 wks. or 112 days, that sounds really soon!!! I bet that you are starting to get excited?! Are your kids and your husband getting excited about a new adventure in another town?

And MIL is going to respite in less than a week!!! Yea! Yea!! Yea!!! Make those BILs or your FIL pay up! You guys have done enuf! BIL will receive a "little" respite too! Does anyone go and see people when they are in respite care? I guess, most of the time the caregivers are on vacation and cannot. Could you swing, not going at all for 2 weeks?! I hope so, maybe your husband we go for both of yall. Or maybe they do not let anyone come?!

Well, FIL can do a lot, when he does or does not want something! Maybe he will make friends with his new roommate?! Who knows.

You do sound like you are doing well with your school work. And a field trip, sounds like just the "ticket". Fun! We think of a hostel, as a place to stay in Europe, that is very cheap and has dormitory type beds and community bathrooms. What do you mean by that word - hostel - in terms of nursing?

Keep up the good work, Sally. Both on your school work and your determination to not be the total "fall guy" for your inlaws! You will make it - I think I like the 112 days the best, sounds like the least! Take care of you! Love, Wannabe

Hi Sally ..yes, you won this battle, and the new tricolored hair is your medal for valor in battle!

The Australian system sounds good... let me see, how do we get Mom 'under there?"

Love, Martha

WIsh we could send pictures here. I'd LOVE to see your new 'do!! :)

Love, Barb

And just an update on FIL's new room at the Nursing Home:

He's sharing with George, a quiet, but non-dementia person ~ and ...............

the bloody nursing home haven't re-done the bathroom in THIS room .. so we might have to go through this round-a-bout AGAIN ...

I could SMACK somebody

Hugs
Sally

Trust me .. running away is our priority .. but no can do until I finish this course ...

I am trying to be OUT of here by Mid December .. depends if there is accommodation on the other end. Because the town we intend running away to is in another state and about 9 - 11 hours drive north.

That way, we can't come back for drama's.
That way, other people can take up the slack
That way, other people might appreciate exactly how MUCH we do around here

Not that we want thanks ... we're only doing what needs to be done .. but it's always US that do it

Might take you up on that room Deb .. LOL