HELP ME... Im a disaster !, I smoke, i eat crap and i Drink far too much !!!... im looking for other unfortunate souls who have lost their way on the path to nobelly (near Sweden i think ?), i think we all need support sooner or later and i sure could use some now, i dont want to become a drunk sumo wrestler with a fixation for kebabs !!!... what i would like is advise, i need to change my lifestyle before it changes me, i just need a little help and advise along the way

[This message has been edited by Paulie D (edited 07-06-2003).]

First off,

Your the only person who can do it and IF you really wanna do it you will - that simple.

Its not complicated. Get a gym membership and ask for a nutrition consultation. Get OFF the alcohol. Its a big waste of money and a TON of empty calories. Yes my friends bust my balls about not going to the bar alot or not drinking anymore. But I also get the people who say, "How do you look so good", etc and thats motivation enough!

Thankyou Shmigelz
i agree it is easy enough if you can afford to go to a gym, and pay for a consultant BUT... what about the millions of people who cant afford to do these things ?, the countless people who like me are struggling to keep a house and children, to my mind a gym is not the answer, and never will be, Gyms are full of people who dont need to be in there in the first place, and if you do find yourself going to one, when you leave you feel even more fed up with the fact that your too overweight to be in there... so to drown that particular sorrow you look toward something to take your mind off of it like.... alcohol, what i was hoping for was a realistic alternative to high cost fitness and dieting, for people on a budget, and while were on the subject... why is it that diet, low calorie, health foods cost twice as much as normal food ? theres only half the ingredients in them !!!

What about making a goal plan? Alot of people think too far down the road when it comes to lifestyle changes by giving things up completely at first and it can become discouraging. What about doing a day-to-day goal plan? or a week-to-week goal plan?? For instance, instead of quitting smoking or drinking cold turky (very hard for most people) why not limit yourself to a little less each day. Today may be 10 smokes, tomorrow 9 smokes and so on. Constantly write down in a book everytime you want a cigarette or a drink and write it down and instead of doing that get your mind focussed on doing something else (make a list) for instance, dishes, laundry, walks with kids, calling a friend, etc. Whatever gets your mind focussed on something else. If you smoke while driving why not purchase a whole package of straws and chew on those in the car. It actually works...by keeping your hands busy. What you can do is leave half a pack of smokes at home. Tell yourself I can only have this much today and do it. You can do anything you set your mind too. Something that I did was learn how to cross-stitch(heeee) and it works. With drinking why not join an AA group. You may not be an alcoholic but i'm sure there will be many people in your situation that understands how hard it can be...or even better, figure out what hobbies you enjoy doing and why not join a class.

Instead of purchasing a month pass at a gym (costly) why not join at a community centre, if you happen to have one in your city. Prices are much, much cheaper than a health club...and not as busy. Why not take your children there (you didn't say how old they were) to go swimming. While they are swimming (with supervisor) why not use the aerobic room or go swimming as well...Swimming is the best form of exercise. These are just some examples of what you can do. Hope some of this has helped you out.

Good luck,
Littleloo

thankyou littleloo
you have just given me some of the best advise ive been given (love the straw idea), i think some people dont believe that you are serious about your health when you take a quirky look at it like me, i do that so i dont feel bad, and the simple fact is that i do feel bad, my children are 14, 11 and 9, and i dont want them to feel like they dont want to ask me to play football or go swiming with them, already they run rings around me and i try to look good keeping up with them but sometimes i get really worried that i could have a heart attack or just drop down dead, ive started a food and drink diary last week and calculated that in the first week i had 46 units of alcohol, this isnt good i know, this is week two and so far my alcohol units total zero !, (junk food is about 3 X per week), aside from swimming is cycling any good ?, ive also started taking the stairs at work instead of the lift, i know its a small step but i think im heading in the right direction, thanks again for your advise, youve given me something more to work with which is exactly what i needed, now im off to chew on a straw !

Hi Paulie D

Don't worry, I know what you are going through. I live in England too, and its really frustrating to go to the Supermarket and see that fruit and veg are more expensive than choc bars!! And also, being a Mum, I'm guessing you usually buy little choc bars for your kids, which is something I've noticed happens in every home over here (I'm originally from NZ and that is unheard of lol!)

First off, its great to see you want to change yourself, and so far, you are doing well, especially with your alcohol intake this week. If you are drinking beer or guinness, then that is far worse than drinking vodka and a diet mixer or white wine.. there are far more carbs in beer and those alcopops, so if you can stop drinking those, its a step in the right direction. If you only drink alcohol to drown your sorrows, then definitely give up, as once you do, you will lose weight.. therefore you won't have any sorrow!! Its pretty much like replacing a vicious cycle with a good one. But I realise that people do drink alcohol sometimes cos they like the taste, and even people trying to lose weight can drink a glass of wine a day and still lose fat, so don't get too worried... as we all know, if you deny yourself too much, you will only end up binging.

As for food, try to cut down on the processed stuff, especially white bread. If you need to eat bread, then eat wholegrain cereal, and make sure you always eat breakfast. Also, make sure that you eat small meals every 2-3 hours and don't go more than 5 hours without eating (except during sleep of course!). I've found a really cheap way to eat well is to buy Porridge Oats - you can get 1kg for 35p at Asda and Tesco, and they will last you 20 servings... and even if you don't like Porridge (I never used to), you will start to enjoy the taste.. plus its the most filling food in the world!! Definitely try it and see what you think.

Another tip is: your food habits will rub off on your kids, so if you change what you are eating, it will have a positive effect on the rest of your family, which is a huge bonus. As you haven't really given a sample food plan of what you normally eat, or your current weight, I can't really calculate what you need to eat each day to lose weight safely (if you do, then I can).

As for exercise, you don't need to join a gym at all... at least not at this stage. If you buy a small weights set (£20 or less from Argos) and maybe even a swiss ball, that is all you need. I have a 'personal gym' like this at home, and I get a full-body workout without having to be seen by anyone else, its brilliant. You will save money and have privacy. For cardio, all you need to do is walk. Do it before breakfast for around 30 minutes 5-6 times a week and it will make a huge difference. And do weights 2-3 times a week, making sure every time you lift you are testing yourself so you can build new muscle. Don't worry about building huge 'man' muscles, as there is not enough testosterone in a woman's body to do that, you will just tone and also (most importantly) raise your metabolic rate.

So, Paulie D, don't despair.. its a very simple plan and it works, good luck and keep us posted on how you are getting on!