Hi I am new to the group. My mother has been in severe pain for 4 months and finally got the terrible dx of stage IV lung cancer through a surgical biopsy. She immediately had a round of radiation. Doctor says chemo will kill her faster than no treatment at all. She is on a lot of morophine and pain patches hospice just got involved. I have no idea how long she has or what to expect in this process. What is the cancer dying process that she is going to go through. She is still in pain and is coughing up yellow/green stuff.

My mom is my best friend and this is killing me. My father is in denial that his wife of 45 years is going to die. I just need info from people who have been through this.

Thanks
Melissa

Hi Melissa,
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. To be honest, I really don't know exactly what the dying process is. My mom was diagnosed in May. What I can tell you, from past experiences, is to try to find comfort in that she is in less pain. Try to keep her as comfortable as possible. Spend as much time with her as you can. Say everything that you want her to know NOW. Unfortunatley, the time will come, before you know it, that you won't be able to say those things, and then you will kick yourself for it. Give your dad time, hopefully he will come around. The first stage of grief is denial. Stay strong, and I'm more than willing to talk, if you need me to. Wish I could be of more help, but I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Misty

My grandfather was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer a week after thanksgiving and was gone christmas eve. we also had hospice involved and they were wonderful i dont know what our family would have done with out them. as far as the moriphine that will get increased as the illness progresses. My grandfather never acted "doped" up if you know what i mean the doctor said that its because their bodies need the pain medicine and it uses it up so fast that they dont seem to drugged.

Everything happened so fast as far of the stage but after he found out he never said anything about dying even though he knew he was, when we brought him home with hospice he was in the stage where they seem to get better, in reality its the calm before the storm but anyway ill never forget the day we brought him home he was making jokes and eating. He said that food hadnt tasted so good in years, we were lucky he was coherent until about 4 pm until dec 23. Then he slipped into a coma. Later that night his breaths were about 20 seconds apart. and he rattled but the doctor said he didnt know he was having trouble breathing.

Being close to your mother i truly think that you will know and be aware of the signs as they progress. Please say the things that you want to say to her dont hold your feelings back because your afraid to scare her. she knows what is ahead and she knows that you need to talk to her.

If you need to talk let me know... My prayers are with you

melissa