Hello everyone, I am fairly new at this but I will make it as short as possible. To make it simple I work with some of the dumbest people imaginable. That withstanding I can't control my temper with these people. I almost had a fight and this ain't a joke but the guy has only 1 arm and I'm not kidding. I have thrown stuff around my job. I was almost terminated and right now I am on probation. Basically was saved because I have known my mgr for years. I am trying my best to be on my behavior and I basically talk to only 2 people at the job now not that I have any desire to speak to anyone else but every time I go in there I feel like I'm going to have a fight with someone anyway one of my best friends thinks I have a drinking problem and that is bringing it on and I also have started to see someone from the job and she has a serious boyfriend so that does not help. Anyone have advice on how to keep my mouth shut and play nice at a job where you don't like the people you work with.

Hi baseball fan and welcome to the boards.......My first two questions would be have you ever tried anger management counseling and second you mentioned that your best friends think you have a drinking problem....so do you? If so, by getting that in check I'm sure you would see a big difference in how you react/interact with other people. I'd love to talk to you some more about this.

Hi imgfh, Thanks for getting back to me I appreciate it. No i have never gone for anger mgmnt and my friend who I have known for 15 years sometimes acts like he's my father rather than my pal. He used to be on drugs and I used to be a very heavy drinker now he sees me drinking here and there and he assumes it is like the old days. Truth is I think deep down I am not a happy person at all which makes me take things out on people at work. I put on a good defense mechanism I act all goofy around my friends so basically none of them know I am miserable. I try to be there for my close friends and family but i wish some of them can know I am just a mess emotionally but like I said I'm good at hiding it. Anyway I hope to hear back from you and learn more about you also

It sounds as though you already know what the problem is..........you're not happy and it doesn't sound as though you like yourself very much. Until you can begin to like the guy inside you, it's going to be pretty tough to like anybody else or show any outward emotion but anger. I have been there and sometimes still struggle with myself and find myself being my own worst enemy. I have PTSD, I was a Recon Marine and did two tours in Vietnam in 1965 and 1966. I lived through hell in the jungle for two very long years. I was 19 years old and saw things and did things that even to this day I struggle with. I hear people today complain about their jobs or the commute to work........thats awful...... they should try going to work the way we did or the way our troops do in Iraq today........a two hour traffic jam would seem like a walk in the park. When I first got back to the states, I was waiting for the liquor stores to open so I could drink my way through the day. I had no friends and at the time I went to work for my Dad and that's the only reason I had a job and I didn't do that very well. I hated myself and never felt I ever deserved anything. Even my own country that I had fought for didn't like me........so why should I. This went on for years before I finally got myself out of the pit I had dug for myself. I found a counselor and began slowly but surely to realize nothing that happened over there was my fault and eventually I was able to function as a human being. Today, almost 40 years later, I still have some issues.........there are "triggers" that set my PTSD off and I go see my counselor and she gets me back on track. I think one of the biggest obstacles I had to overcome was being able to like myself, to realize I was not a bad person, that I was a kind, gentle and loving person that enlisted in the Marine Corp to serve my country and certainly not by choice, wound up in the jungles of Vietnam. Thats not all of me, by no means, but I hope you get a little something out of what I've shared with you that might help you. You're not alone my friend..........

good morning to both of you!!!

imgtf----we visited a couple of times on a different thread. i just wanted to comment on your response hear. i am glad you explained who you are because you reminded me of something i try to keep in mind. remembering every morning how much easier i have it than so many others. i also have PTSD brought on very differently from yours. my 21 year old daughter died in a tragic car accicent 8 years ago. it took me the first 6 to even be diagnosed and then 2 more before it came out. i am just in therapy for the past 6 months and have come a long way.didn't know where i was or have much of a memory for almost 8 years. do a lot of disasociation(will never spell it right). with a few good friends and family members by my side who notice when i am leaving i am starting to get a good handle on the triggers and there are many.thank you for being you and a survivor. you have alot to offer.

to the baseball fan----been there done it.for years had such anger at work. thought it was because the people around made made stupid decisions. wrong. it was my issue.i was taking every horrible thing and my own unhappiness out on those i worked with. don't get me wrong some of them should've been fired for various reasons but that is not my place. once i found the good in me again and started to take a step back and look at the situation i stopped reacting. look into yourself and your unhappiness first. make some healthy decisions as to where you want your life to go. then when these "stupid" people start take a step back and think if it is a life or death situation that you need to react to or if it will be forgotten in 2 weeks.

[QUOTE=angel54]good morning to both of you!!!

imgtf----we visited a couple of times on a different thread. i just wanted to comment on your response hear. i am glad you explained who you are because you reminded me of something i try to keep in mind. remembering every morning how much easier i have it than so many others. i also have PTSD brought on very differently from yours. my 21 year old daughter died in a tragic car accicent 8 years ago. it took me the first 6 to even be diagnosed and then 2 more before it came out. i am just in therapy for the past 6 months and have come a long way.didn't know where i was or have much of a memory for almost 8 years. do a lot of disasociation(will never spell it right). with a few good friends and family members by my side who notice when i am leaving i am starting to get a good handle on the triggers and there are many.thank you for being you and a survivor. you have alot to offer.


Angel..........thank you for you kind words, they were truly heartfelt. I also thank you for sharing the tragic loss of your daughter..........I am so sorry.......my heart goes out to you. Though I have never lost a son or daughter, I have lost very close friends, men I lived with and fought with that become my brothers. I believe I can relate to what you have had to endure. I fully understand PTSD and it sounds as though you are getting a good handle on that as well. You sound like a stronge woman and I admire you and commend you on all the hard work that you have done to be where you are today. Having battled PTSD for so many years and no....it's not cured, but through years of hard work I feel as though I have beat it. I am able to live a normal life with a few triggers that causes it to raise its head from time to time, but I have learned how to handle them and quickly get myself back on track. Once again I thank you and admire your courage and I hope we can connect again and maybe discuss our journey through life. Maybe it would give others hope that there is a light at the other end of the tunnel.

imgfh---how are you today? my heart felt your pain as i read of your 2 tours in vietnam. i was married to a vet for 25 years. an alcoholic who had a terrible life before he went to war. has always refused to face the deamons and numbs them instead. it is so sad. my mind can only imagine what you men and women experienced over there. my motto"america is #1 because of our vets" i remember my ex telling me at times when he would talk about it the many brothers that he served side by side with who died in his arms or right next to him. it must take alot of hard work and strenght to get through it. i agree we will never be cured but we can get a tight grip on this disease. once you understand it, things start to fall into place and you have a better understanding of yourself and what your triggers are. i am sure ours are very different and yet alike. i would like very much to take life's journey in touch with you.when my therapist and i talk she is still amazed at the multiple traumas i have experienced in my life that i have forgotten about that now are starting to suface. i am also amazed at how much the human mind is capable of holding.

have a peaceful day,
angel :)

i have had to leave work a few minutes early because i was afraid i would flip at someone. i sprent a lot of time in therapy trying to get a grip on some behavours i have to deal with. five years ago everyone i work with got together and told me how this one woman is making them all crazy. they call her a "want to be angel" told me she follows me everywhere and is always in the office when she she has no work in there but should be on the floor all day. well to be honest i never noticed her. i blew it off until last year when what others were saying really became noticeable to me. she is the rudest person i have ever met. a typical "know it all" NO ONE can have they're monent and tell a story without her jumping in with her own or correcting everything everyone says. now she has started to be in my business questioning me all day. she is my assistant and another woman's. we work our buttts off while she is overseeing. she has been told 10000000 times about her behaviour and how it effects the rest of the staff. the last few days she has really gotten to me. always ,always something to say, someone to correct. i could be having a conversation with another employee and she will just walk right up to us and stand there. many times i have said "can i help you with something" i have told her to mind her business and stay out of mine. i would like to think if that many people told me that many times how rude i was that i would get the hint. no she just keeps doing it bringing alot of tension to our workplace. i have ignored her, not answered her when she asks something that is none of her business, told her to her face to walk away and stop interferring with no success. i need a plan before monday. i don't want to change her i don't care bout her enough to want to change her or be friends with her. i just want to be able to work with her without knots in my stomach everytime she opens her mouth and to not feel so shaky when she starts that i fell i have to flew my job to get away from her. how do you deal with someone like this? i am not alon she is in everyone's busines and rude to all of us. then on a day when she is not in my face i have to listen to eveyone else complaining about her. how can one person get to so many of us. i have to mention that her husband is an admistrator with out company and alot of times she will use him to get what she wants.

Angel54, God bless you, and I had to laugh I can just see every one trying to excape and she is glued to your @#$$. May be All of you need to come togather as a team and go to the head of the company and talk to them. If you all go togather they will know it is not just you. Maybe she has some issuse of her own that make her feel like she has to be like this, There are crazy people in this world, And It is sad we get stuck with some of them..... Just keep cutting her short, not in a mean way But a yes or no way. then move on.... No matter where you go in life there is always going to be those kind of people. I can remember a time in my life that if I got behind a little old lady driving at 20 miles per hour I would lay down on my horn pass her and shot a bird. HOW ULGY WAS I .... I just felt like I was a bout too blow up, all the time, I hated feeling that way, But did not know how to stop. then slowly but surely when I begain to start finding my self and finding joy in my life Things seem to start to balance out, so that things just did not get to me as bad, There are three parts to us mind, body,soul.... ALL three have to balance if not we will feel this way......... take care of your body by eating,sleeping ect. next is the hard part the soul READ your bible feed your soul daily. next the easy part your mind will change..... Remember what I am telling you in order to stop feeling this way these are the things to do. It works... you can spend thousands of dollars on counsels, not saying they are bad, BUT in the long run it all comes down to the soul. you have to find inter peace. To truly be happy.Does not mean the bad goes away, it just means we see it in a diffrent way..................................... .........................Felicia

felicia---you are sooooo right. i have done really well for awhile until the past week. there's alot going on at home and with my body. God is always on my mind. we have all banded together and talked to the boss. he says it's personality conflicts and he is right. no one likes her. she does have lots of issues and i believe is very insecure. i had my first laugh when i read your post. i can now go to work monday with the image of her glued to my @%$$$$)(*&@##. thanks so much dear and i hope you are having an easier time.

prayers always,
angel :)