Sometime in the night Mom went down the stairs for a drink of water, forgetting that she had water right next to her bed.

She fell (somewhere near the bottom) and couldn't get up. She was taken to a hospital on Long Island and is still there, they suspect a broken hip although Bill said she felt no pain in the hip at the time, only in her knee.

At any rate a fall, a fracture, is really realy bad for a nearly 97 year old person. There goes the Ohio trip too .. she will not be able to go away on a plane if she's in a cast or unable to get up ..she may wind up in the hospital for a prolonged time and ..and ..you know the rest.

It was inevitable that something would happen.

It is now obvious to me that she continues her night wandering ..maybe B and A didn't notice it until now. In the apartment she had to go past my bed to go to the living room or bathroom ...

I'll keep you posted. I will probably go to NY. I hope I can be back before my daughter goes to Germany when I am supposed to help with the children; but if not the other grandparents will jump in.

The orthpedist comes to work on Monday and she will have a definite diagnosis by then.

Bill says Mom is fighting them tooth and nail ..she is overly sensitive to pain (with Alzheimer's you can't understand WHY the nurse is sticking a needle into you, you think she is torturing you) and already labeled a 'difficult patient'. What a difference from 4 years ago when she had a heart failure episode and was the 'darling' of the whole cardiac unit ... a sweet little old lady who never thought of herself ..she got up to use the commode rather than 'bothering the nurses' with a bed pan ...

I pray for a good outcome ..which could be many many things.

Love,

Martha

Martha,

My thoughts and prayers are with you over this exceptionally difficult time. Hopefully your Mum bounces like my MIL and it's nothing but soft tissue damage .. but for a 97 year old ... the prognosis isn't usually good. How's her osteoporosis?

Just yell if you want some comforting words and long distance hugs .. you know what I mean....

Big squeezy hugs
Sally

Actually Mom never had osteoporosis. Never broke a bone, not even a finger. Until now. I spoke to Bill as he was leaving the house for the hospital. It is Sunday so the orthopedist will not have studied her xrays. He told me "MOM was heavily sedated" last night because of her uncooperative attitude.THAT cannot do her addled mind any good.

I am planning on a train trip ..soon ...

M

Thank you Deborah ..

Bill called from the hospital (Sun morning.) It is definitely a broken hip. The orthopedic surgeon will decide tomorrow how it should be handled. My Mom has congestive heart failure and cannot be expected to survive surgery.

It is very sad ..I had hoped she would pass on peacefully in her sleep ... but we have no choice in these matters.

Bill told me yes, as I presumed, she has been 'wandering' at night through the house but not going out of doors. I assume he has inner locks on all doors. As she went through the rooms, where he had left lights on in strategic places, she switched them all off.

Today the first thing she said at the hospital when he came in was, "I turned off the light!" As if that is what she was supposed to do.

I want to go to NY in a day or two and will have to find the train schedules etc, arrange for a ride to and from the station (in Elkhart), pack a bag, and leave the return date open since we don't know what will happen ...

In cases of long bed rest very old people often develop pneumonia which carries them off.

(Why do we use all these euphemisms, it is clear that this could be and probably is going to be my Mom's death ...)

Thank you for your prayers.

Love,

Martha

Oh, Martha,

((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) I'm so sorry your mother had a fall and such an injury. What a worry, not to mention her confusion, pain, and the threat of pneumonia. She's fighting because she cannot understand the pain, immobility, and the unfamiliar surroundings. As you said, at her age it's not good. :( There should be a large note on the wall over the head of the bed your mother is in to say she has Alzheimers. She's not being difficult, she's scared and hurting. Sedation is good.

It is important to stabilize the injury ASAP and that does mean surgery. Her injury is likely to be a break at the ball at the top of the femur or an upper thigh break which would be repaired with a metal plate, a rod, or a total hip or similar. Of course, the kind of repair all depends on where the break is. Even with your mom's age and other medical problems, this injury must be fixed and the recovery will be long. She will probably be sent to a rehab hospital when she's recovered enough to leave the hospital. It may difficult for your mom to return to Bill's at all. Just be aware of that and discuss it with Bill while you're there. If my surgery experience can help you, just ask your questions.

As I've looked into train v plane trips, the cost of the train was close to that of the plane. Since you're in the area of many trains on the NYC to Chicago run, perhaps the train will be more economical for you.

I hope that you can get to your mother soon, that the other grandparents can step in to care for the grandsons so you don't have to look at the calendar. Sadly, all of your time and love cannot fix this. You may not be able to stay in NYC for the whole recovery, so let that be okay if that's how it happens.

Take good care of you, too.

Hugs and blessings - Barbara

Thanks Barbara ..Bill thinks I should wait until after the surgery to come ..a few days from now. It is a break in the femur. A pin is going to be put in to hold it in place. They are doing tests today to see if she can have the surgery on Momday ..she is very confused. Bill, Anna, Frank and Ingrid went to see her today. She doesn't want phone calls.

Elsie's daughter in law in VA (who has been hoping to have a baby) had to go to the ER the same day, yesterday ..for excessive bleeding. She may need a hysterectomy. Trouble never comes singly ..and meanwhile my daughter had to go to an emergency care center for a bladder infection ...

Well that's 3 ..now it ought to stop!

Love

Martha

Oh Martha. I'm so sorry. That's a horrible injury for anyone of any age. You, your mom and your family will be in my prayers.

Please take care of yourself. I know how my mind works. In situations like yours, if I'm not careful, my mind tends to go to the "what if's". Don't do that to yourself. You don't deserve that. Know that you've done your best as has Bill and Anna.

Have a safe trip and don't worry about other things. Your daughter will make alternate plans if she needs to.

Hugs and prayers.

Love, Barb

Mercy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope that's all! If the old saying is correct, 3 should be it.

Hope E.'s DIL's problem can be fixed without a hyst. How old is she? Do they have any children yet? Bless her heart!

Hope Jenny is better - tell her to drink water so constantly she almost floats. She should also have enough pills to get her home from Germany in case it happens again there since her trip is soon.

Of course, I hope all goes well for your mother, too. Wish there was less to deal with about her heart, but she's an amazing woman and has an amazing life. I still cannot imagine her teaching an exercise class just 2 years ago and age 95!! We should all be so blessed.

About waiting until after the surgery to go to NYC, consider how you'll feel if you're in Indiana if your mother doesn't make it through surgery. In this instance, do as your heart tells you to do.

My story: In early March,1983, after my father had a diagnosis of cancer and was in the hospital doing badly, he told my mother that he'd be home by March 10th. I lived in Memphis and had a small child, but when Mom told me that, I called my boss and took 2 weeks leave from work. I told Rob I had to get to Richmond well before the 10th. We were able to make plane reservations for the 8th. 3 year old Zack and I got to Richmond at 11pm on the 8th and went straight to the hospital to see Dad. It was a brief visit, but long enough to say I love you and I'll see you in the morning, and he loved seeing little Zack. Dad died 2 hours later, in the wee hours of March 9th. He was home. It was good to be there.

Martha, listen to your heart.

Hugs - Barbara

I agree with Barbara. I wish I had listened to my heart when my grandma was in the hospital. I was going to fly there (I lived here, she lived in Chattanooga) even though my aunt said she was doing better. I had a feeling in my heart that I should be there ASAP. I told my mom that I would pay for plane fare for all of us to go there. She said no, that her car would be fixed in the morning and that we would go then. Grandma died a couple of hours before we were scheduled to leave. It was a planned trip but I wanted us to get there sooner because I had that feeling. Listen to your feelings.

My grandma didn't know any of us anymore. She had this awful disease too. But they said that just before she died, she had amazing clarity. I might have been able to tell her I loved her and she might have understood. I'll never know.

Do what your heart tells you to do.

Love, Barb

Mom's operation is early tomorrow morning. I will not be able to get there before it. So I'm leaving it up to God now. If she doesn't make it, I will have to accept it. I did call her at the hospital .. she is very confused, sedated, and 'loopy,' but I told her I love her and she told me the same. If that turns out to be our last conversation, we didn't leave out the most important thing.

E's DIL is already over 35, I think perhaps even 38. They got married when both of them were in their early 30s. Kids did not come. She was diagnosed with fibroids and told this could be preventing a conception. We are hoping they will remove only the fibroids. Then she still has a chance of a pregnancy.

E has 2 grandchildren both from her daughter. The other son is single and intends to remain so. He has a live in girlfriend and told her he never will marry her. She stays there. (I wouldn't, would you?)

So I am hoping for a miracle .. no hysterectomy, and then a baby!! As for Mom, the time comes when all we can say is 'let it be what's best for HER." It has not been any fun for her to know she is not quite right in the head. I believe this life is not the end ..so why not allow her to go to the better place.(this does not mean I am not crying..)

love,

Martha

Hi Martha,

I'm glad that you had a chance to talk with your mother today. That will be a cherished conversation no matter what is ahead.

Another thing I'm glad about is that the surgery is soon. I didn't like a broken bone in there and not yet stabilized! I know it means you have no chance to get there, but God knows that, too, and it's best for your mother to have it fixed and safer. She will be asleep before they move her from the bed to the OR table. The OR staff will care for her well and keep her warm. Just pretend I'm there in surgery with your mom! The anesthesia nurse or doctor will know her medical history and be watching her blood pressure, heart rate, breathing, and EKG and keeping her asleep until it's time to wake her up. The Recovery staff will watch over her, too, and be told by those who already cared for her that she has Alzheimers, among other things. They will keep her comfortable and comforted.

Bless her heart and your's too.

I hope E's DIL is okay. It's so hard to give up the hope and dream of having your own child. If she must have a hyst to control the bleeding, then it's out of her hands. So sad. I wish her well.

Hugs - Barbara :)

Hi Martha,

I know that this is a hard time for you. I pray for you and your Mother and your brother to have peace. If your mom gets well from her operation, she will probably have to go in a nursing home. But that might be for the best for everyone. And if you mom does not make it through the operation because of her heart and her age, or of complications, we will all know she is in a better place. She will not be an alzheimers patient, but a normal woman or girl.

It was good, that you got to talk to your mom by phone. At least you got to say I love you. It needed said, one way or the other! Try not to worry, and try not to overload with anxiety. I know that is almost impossible to do. And cry all you need to. It helps. Take care of you and let us hear the outcome of your moms operation.

Love, Wannabe

P.S. Here is a big, tight, long hug!!!!! And remember that we are all thinking of you while you are gone from your nice new home. Talk back when you can.

11:30 AM here, 12:30 in NY .. Mom is still waiting. She was not on the surgery list today but they are trying to fit her in. Meanwhile she cannot eat or drink.

The operation will be done under an epidural ((spinal block) rather than subject her to general anesthesia. The personnel know she has dementia, and that being 'put out' worsens that, radically. Also her oxygen level in her blood is too low. That is a result of her heart failure, but the heart is doing well considering - thanks to the many drugs she has to take.

Meanwhile she is on a morphine derivative and very groggy. I spoke to Bill at her bedside and told her God bless you, and she very weakly replied, thank you.

I spoke to my son in Miami - at the University lab thry are putting everything away in expectation of Hurricane Lisa.... Miami is within the 50 mile range predicted for tomorrow - so they have to batten down the hatches.

My daughter is being treated for her UTI and has also develeoped a cold sore plus swollen gland under her chin .. this happens to her when she is stressed out.

I am getting encouraging messages from friends and family from New Mexico, Germany, NY, etc.

I am not exactly calm and jump when the phone rings. but I'm getting through the day..

Love,

Martha

Hi everyone,

I just got the news from Bill .. Mom had the operation under general anesthetic this morning and is in the recovery room. The op went well. They couldn't use the spinal block because Mom in her confusion was not able to hold very still and let them do it ..so she had to be 'put out'; now I just hope that didn't regress her mentally....

We won't know that for awhile because everyone is confused after waking up from an operation.

I'll keep you posted.

Love


Martha