angel_bear
09-21-2005, 01:16 AM
Time for a new thread I think ... LOL
OK ... From my panic of ringing the nursing home at 12.45 and finding MIL STILL not there, I rang ACAT and blubbered and stressed all over the phone. ACAT rang me back (We'll call her C) and said "don't panic!"
Easier said than done of course .. but OK .. I'll listen.
She told me she had rung Day Care the other day and told them her plans. They informed her that MIL won't be able to stay at Day Care much longer, because she's showing some challenging behaviour and wandering off.
!
So, because of this behaviour, C thought it best to leave MIL at Day Care until JUST before the bus leaves to take them home, so she would pop in and give MIL a lift ...
So ... C apologised for not informing me of the updates, and came around to the house and got the medical forms and the $ so I don't have to go out there again.
PHEW! Now FIL is stalking me on the mobile, I daresay he wants to know what's happening, but C is going to ring me after she's left MIL and tell me how it went
I feel so weepy and teary ... because ACAT are going to do their damndest to KEEP MIL .. that she SHOULDN'T come home AT ALL. They have confirmation from uninterested parties, that MIL is a danger to herself even when she's WITH people ... the 3 wanderings last week double confirm it ...
So .. an update soon I hope ..... and fingers crossed that the Nursing home don't refuse her (they do have the right) and that BIL doesn't go and get her to 'save' her (I don't think he will, but it wouldn't surprise me), because C said if he does that, then MIL will have to live with him because Sally is burnt out and exhausted. She's concerned about MY mental health LOL ...
So .. news soon .. fingers crossed
Hugs
Sally
OK ... From my panic of ringing the nursing home at 12.45 and finding MIL STILL not there, I rang ACAT and blubbered and stressed all over the phone. ACAT rang me back (We'll call her C) and said "don't panic!"
Easier said than done of course .. but OK .. I'll listen.
She told me she had rung Day Care the other day and told them her plans. They informed her that MIL won't be able to stay at Day Care much longer, because she's showing some challenging behaviour and wandering off.
!
So, because of this behaviour, C thought it best to leave MIL at Day Care until JUST before the bus leaves to take them home, so she would pop in and give MIL a lift ...
So ... C apologised for not informing me of the updates, and came around to the house and got the medical forms and the $ so I don't have to go out there again.
PHEW! Now FIL is stalking me on the mobile, I daresay he wants to know what's happening, but C is going to ring me after she's left MIL and tell me how it went
I feel so weepy and teary ... because ACAT are going to do their damndest to KEEP MIL .. that she SHOULDN'T come home AT ALL. They have confirmation from uninterested parties, that MIL is a danger to herself even when she's WITH people ... the 3 wanderings last week double confirm it ...
So .. an update soon I hope ..... and fingers crossed that the Nursing home don't refuse her (they do have the right) and that BIL doesn't go and get her to 'save' her (I don't think he will, but it wouldn't surprise me), because C said if he does that, then MIL will have to live with him because Sally is burnt out and exhausted. She's concerned about MY mental health LOL ...
So .. news soon .. fingers crossed
Hugs
Sally
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ToBeFreeToRoam
09-21-2005, 03:03 AM
Hi Sally,
I know that this is hard on you - mentally! I bet you will be exhausted after today. It sounds like ACAT is doing their darndest to get MIL in respite and to keep her in a NH!! I will keep my fingers and toes crossed for you.
And they are really looking out for you too. I think that they can tell from your voice, that you are about to give out!!! If I were you, I would not call FIL until she is in the NH.
I think that is interesting that the Adult Day Care did not tell you about MILs doings - like wandering and not getting along. Do you think they told BIL and he just did not want to inform you? Oh well - it sounds like this respite came at a very good time! Maybe the ball will be kept rolling!!!
Take care and rest, rest, rest. Also relax and sleep. :>
Love, Wannabe
I know that this is hard on you - mentally! I bet you will be exhausted after today. It sounds like ACAT is doing their darndest to get MIL in respite and to keep her in a NH!! I will keep my fingers and toes crossed for you.
And they are really looking out for you too. I think that they can tell from your voice, that you are about to give out!!! If I were you, I would not call FIL until she is in the NH.
I think that is interesting that the Adult Day Care did not tell you about MILs doings - like wandering and not getting along. Do you think they told BIL and he just did not want to inform you? Oh well - it sounds like this respite came at a very good time! Maybe the ball will be kept rolling!!!
Take care and rest, rest, rest. Also relax and sleep. :>
Love, Wannabe
angel_bear
09-21-2005, 04:41 AM
OK >> !!!!!!!!!!! Update:
MIL is IN THE NURSING HOME ... (cheering, waving, balloons and streamers)
C took her, and explained why this was happening. MIL wasn't sure about exactly WHAT was happening, but C is quite sure she understood (ok .. maybe my pessimism(sp?) is too strong at the moment) and when C was about to leave, MIL picked up her purse. The Nurse said "Your staying here for your holiday love" and steered her in another direction.
The theory is: A bed will come up in the next two weeks. We don't even care what kind of bed it is (high care or low care), preferably in the dementia specific wing (where I play .. which means I probably couldn't? I don't know). If a bed comes up and the nursing home believe MIL should stay for her own safety, then ACAT will back them up on that. It will be interesting to see what's going to eventuate.
So .... today I:
Stripped the wet bed and remade it. Tomorrow I'll strip it again and put it out in the SUN !!!!
Mopped the kitchen floor with disinfectant
Found some of MIL's 'soiled' clothes, and caught up with HER washing. I also washed some blankets, and the bathroom mats (cause they stunk bad) ...
Downstairs smells reasonable at the moment .. !! It's had a good airing, wipe down and clean out ...
Oh .. and I found bacon in a cupboard, well and truly stashed with maggots having a wonderful time (I KNEW I could smell off food somewhere) ... AND I found 2 1/2 bottles of white wine in a kitchen drawer. I sent her chocolate with her, and I'll drop in some treats for her before we go, she likes her nibblies.
I AM exhausted and it's only 5.38pm!! It's been a LONG day. FIL isn't sounding too happy with MIL in the nursing home, as I said before, he's suspicious and wary of what's going to happen. Of course, I think this responds to him maybe having to sell the house to get MIL into proper care .. which is sad that her safety comes down to his ownership of a house .. but that's his problem.
ACAT are very proud of me. They say I am 'blossoming' in my independence and I am gaining strength each day. I said BIL still scares the willy's out of me when he's on a tirade, and a tirade will happen if MIL is kept in the nursing home, but I do believe if he started on me I could tell him where to go and walk away.
I would probably be shaking, and highly likely crying .. but I could walk away. 6 months ago I stood in front of him and took it all .. not anymore -
So ... except for the odd phone calls to check how she's going .. I have two weeks off. ACAT asked if I was going to pop in before we go away next week, and I said NO, I don't think it's a good idea, because she might expect to come home with us and that could cause a problem. She said "Good thinking girl!!!" .... LOL .. FIL expects us to visit daily .. that's not a happening event.
So .. that's all for the moment !!!!! PHEW!!!!
MIL is IN THE NURSING HOME ... (cheering, waving, balloons and streamers)
C took her, and explained why this was happening. MIL wasn't sure about exactly WHAT was happening, but C is quite sure she understood (ok .. maybe my pessimism(sp?) is too strong at the moment) and when C was about to leave, MIL picked up her purse. The Nurse said "Your staying here for your holiday love" and steered her in another direction.
The theory is: A bed will come up in the next two weeks. We don't even care what kind of bed it is (high care or low care), preferably in the dementia specific wing (where I play .. which means I probably couldn't? I don't know). If a bed comes up and the nursing home believe MIL should stay for her own safety, then ACAT will back them up on that. It will be interesting to see what's going to eventuate.
So .... today I:
Stripped the wet bed and remade it. Tomorrow I'll strip it again and put it out in the SUN !!!!
Mopped the kitchen floor with disinfectant
Found some of MIL's 'soiled' clothes, and caught up with HER washing. I also washed some blankets, and the bathroom mats (cause they stunk bad) ...
Downstairs smells reasonable at the moment .. !! It's had a good airing, wipe down and clean out ...
Oh .. and I found bacon in a cupboard, well and truly stashed with maggots having a wonderful time (I KNEW I could smell off food somewhere) ... AND I found 2 1/2 bottles of white wine in a kitchen drawer. I sent her chocolate with her, and I'll drop in some treats for her before we go, she likes her nibblies.
I AM exhausted and it's only 5.38pm!! It's been a LONG day. FIL isn't sounding too happy with MIL in the nursing home, as I said before, he's suspicious and wary of what's going to happen. Of course, I think this responds to him maybe having to sell the house to get MIL into proper care .. which is sad that her safety comes down to his ownership of a house .. but that's his problem.
ACAT are very proud of me. They say I am 'blossoming' in my independence and I am gaining strength each day. I said BIL still scares the willy's out of me when he's on a tirade, and a tirade will happen if MIL is kept in the nursing home, but I do believe if he started on me I could tell him where to go and walk away.
I would probably be shaking, and highly likely crying .. but I could walk away. 6 months ago I stood in front of him and took it all .. not anymore -
So ... except for the odd phone calls to check how she's going .. I have two weeks off. ACAT asked if I was going to pop in before we go away next week, and I said NO, I don't think it's a good idea, because she might expect to come home with us and that could cause a problem. She said "Good thinking girl!!!" .... LOL .. FIL expects us to visit daily .. that's not a happening event.
So .. that's all for the moment !!!!! PHEW!!!!
Martha H
09-21-2005, 08:27 AM
Oh Sally your blood pressurew must have gne through the roof today ..I hope you will now try to relax, not worry about next week but just chill out.
Of course to FIL the world is tumbling down around his ears. He is in a nursing hme, but until now had the illusion that his wife was safe at home with you and your family, and would be for the rest of her life, which will probably be longer than his.
Now, he is confronted with the total cancellation of his plan. She will not go home again; you wil leave, he will have to sell the house to finance his own and his wife's nursing homes. I understand he is in a panic.
BUT ...YOU have been putting up with impossible conditions for more than a year and you cannot and will not do it any longer! So even though it forces all his plans to change, it is happening and there is no way to stop it. Let BIL rant and rave, but you are off the hook.
What a sad situation for everyone .. neither of them wanted to get sick. I don't know how you put up with it this long, but go now, and enjoy the rest of your life in peace and happiness. You have earned enough points to last a lifetime ...
Love,
Martha
Of course to FIL the world is tumbling down around his ears. He is in a nursing hme, but until now had the illusion that his wife was safe at home with you and your family, and would be for the rest of her life, which will probably be longer than his.
Now, he is confronted with the total cancellation of his plan. She will not go home again; you wil leave, he will have to sell the house to finance his own and his wife's nursing homes. I understand he is in a panic.
BUT ...YOU have been putting up with impossible conditions for more than a year and you cannot and will not do it any longer! So even though it forces all his plans to change, it is happening and there is no way to stop it. Let BIL rant and rave, but you are off the hook.
What a sad situation for everyone .. neither of them wanted to get sick. I don't know how you put up with it this long, but go now, and enjoy the rest of your life in peace and happiness. You have earned enough points to last a lifetime ...
Love,
Martha
BarbaraH
09-21-2005, 10:15 AM
Hi Sally,
Glory be!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are free!!!!!!!!!! You are on holiday!!!!!!!!! :bouncing:
MIL is safe from harm and from herself (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and thanks to you! I'd like to be a fly on the wall to see how MIL is doing.
Good for you, girlfriend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :bouncing:
I agree with Martha's analysis of FIL's motives, but I see an additional wrinkle. I think he feels with MIL in the house, he can come home again. That's it in a nutshell - he planned to come home. With the house empty, sold, rented, or with BIL's lot in residence, he's stuck in the NH for the rest of his days. If your family moves away, the caring people will be gone. That's sad. Even though he's made himself a royal pain, that's sad. But for 2 weeks - that's his business!
Can ACAT over-rule the family about MIL's care and safety if BIL tries to cause trouble? Love that C said MIL would have to live with BIL! Wouldn't you like to see L's face if she ever gets that news??!! :D
Sounds like you've done well in the post-imposter clean-up and clean-out. Spread out in the house for the next little while and enjoy the elbow room!
Hugs of happiness! Barbara :wave:
p.s. how did she do the first night?? Call and ask - they expect that!
Glory be!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are free!!!!!!!!!! You are on holiday!!!!!!!!! :bouncing:
MIL is safe from harm and from herself (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and thanks to you! I'd like to be a fly on the wall to see how MIL is doing.
Good for you, girlfriend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :bouncing:
I agree with Martha's analysis of FIL's motives, but I see an additional wrinkle. I think he feels with MIL in the house, he can come home again. That's it in a nutshell - he planned to come home. With the house empty, sold, rented, or with BIL's lot in residence, he's stuck in the NH for the rest of his days. If your family moves away, the caring people will be gone. That's sad. Even though he's made himself a royal pain, that's sad. But for 2 weeks - that's his business!
Can ACAT over-rule the family about MIL's care and safety if BIL tries to cause trouble? Love that C said MIL would have to live with BIL! Wouldn't you like to see L's face if she ever gets that news??!! :D
Sounds like you've done well in the post-imposter clean-up and clean-out. Spread out in the house for the next little while and enjoy the elbow room!
Hugs of happiness! Barbara :wave:
p.s. how did she do the first night?? Call and ask - they expect that!
angel_bear
09-21-2005, 08:24 PM
Hanging head in shame ......
I just rang the NH to get a report on MIL's first night .........
NOT GOOD !!
At 7.30pm, she had to be moved to the Dementia Secure Unit (Lock-down) because she was wandering into peoples rooms and getting abusive with residents and staff.
So now .. her bed is in the lounge-room of the secure area, because there is no bedroom available in lock down.
They are demanding an immediate re-assessment ... AND
They asked me if she could come home .. and .........
I SAID NO !!!! I said I had booked respite for a reason, and that we were going away .. and she said "If your MIL get's much worse, we will have to put her into hospital, she cannot stay here" I said "do what needs to be done"
I KNEW this would happen !! I JUST KNEW this would happen !!!
But .. she's not coming home .. we are having a break ... MIL will be looked after, regardless .. and she WILL be properly assessed, and the rest of the family isn't going to like it, but my argument is "So you don't want her safe?" and if they continue to make excuses, we will leave earlier than expected.
I expect with BIL comes home from his jaunt away, if MIL is misbehaving still, that he will pull her out. If he does that, ACAT will make him responsible for her. She is not, under any circumstances, to remain at home ALONE at any time. They will make that clear.
I feel like a whinging, complaining B*i*t*c*h about all this, but enough is enough. If a nursing home with TRAINED STAFF can't handle her, who the heck expects ME (almost but not quite trained) to cope ...???
Deep breath .... fingers crossed
Hugs
Sally
(Who promises, she will not ring again unless specifically asked)
I just rang the NH to get a report on MIL's first night .........
NOT GOOD !!
At 7.30pm, she had to be moved to the Dementia Secure Unit (Lock-down) because she was wandering into peoples rooms and getting abusive with residents and staff.
So now .. her bed is in the lounge-room of the secure area, because there is no bedroom available in lock down.
They are demanding an immediate re-assessment ... AND
They asked me if she could come home .. and .........
I SAID NO !!!! I said I had booked respite for a reason, and that we were going away .. and she said "If your MIL get's much worse, we will have to put her into hospital, she cannot stay here" I said "do what needs to be done"
I KNEW this would happen !! I JUST KNEW this would happen !!!
But .. she's not coming home .. we are having a break ... MIL will be looked after, regardless .. and she WILL be properly assessed, and the rest of the family isn't going to like it, but my argument is "So you don't want her safe?" and if they continue to make excuses, we will leave earlier than expected.
I expect with BIL comes home from his jaunt away, if MIL is misbehaving still, that he will pull her out. If he does that, ACAT will make him responsible for her. She is not, under any circumstances, to remain at home ALONE at any time. They will make that clear.
I feel like a whinging, complaining B*i*t*c*h about all this, but enough is enough. If a nursing home with TRAINED STAFF can't handle her, who the heck expects ME (almost but not quite trained) to cope ...???
Deep breath .... fingers crossed
Hugs
Sally
(Who promises, she will not ring again unless specifically asked)
BarbaraH
09-21-2005, 10:00 PM
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
OH NO!!! Sorry that all has gone haywire, but of course MIL is haywire, so it's to be expected.
Glad you remained firm that you're outta there and they can do as they need to because of MIL's problems. The family can jolly well open their eyes and see what care MIL needs or take her on themselves.
Hope some happy medium is found with or without you and that you can be carefree for 2 weeks! Go for it!
Stay strong - you're in the right! I'm proud of you!
Hugs - Barbara :)
OH NO!!! Sorry that all has gone haywire, but of course MIL is haywire, so it's to be expected.
Glad you remained firm that you're outta there and they can do as they need to because of MIL's problems. The family can jolly well open their eyes and see what care MIL needs or take her on themselves.
Hope some happy medium is found with or without you and that you can be carefree for 2 weeks! Go for it!
Stay strong - you're in the right! I'm proud of you!
Hugs - Barbara :)
angel_bear
09-21-2005, 11:42 PM
Nope .. things will never go according to plan.
ACAT rang me. The facility cannot handle MIL. They have requested she leaves the premises. ACAT promised me 2 weeks respite, they're going out of their way to find another bed for MIL.
But we have to help move her.
We have to speak to FIL about MIL (now ...)
I'm shaking like a leaf .. I would hate to see what my blood pressure is doing ...
PRAY this goes well ..
More soon
Sally
ACAT rang me. The facility cannot handle MIL. They have requested she leaves the premises. ACAT promised me 2 weeks respite, they're going out of their way to find another bed for MIL.
But we have to help move her.
We have to speak to FIL about MIL (now ...)
I'm shaking like a leaf .. I would hate to see what my blood pressure is doing ...
PRAY this goes well ..
More soon
Sally
angel_bear
09-22-2005, 02:25 AM
Spoke to FIL .. he took it quite well considering .....
<<<rolling eyes>>>
We visited the "Secure" respite area this afternoon .... oh it's sad .. so very very sad .. there was a lady at the door, determined to make it work, she had wet herself and you could smell her through the door .... yuck ... they took us for a wander around, and thankfully, it was only that lady that smelt, the rooms are spacious and airy, safe and secure with a lovely garden in the middle. We even saw 2 residents come up and shake hands like they had just met .. that was sweet ...
But it is so very very sad, and they all reminded me of MIL .... 'cept she doesn't see herself like them, and yes, she has a different form of dementia that 'typical'. My MIL has never been 'typical' LOL.
So .. BACK to the doctors office to ask him to fill out another medical form, then BACK to the chemist to say "don't send anything yet, we're not sure where she'll be ..." and they informed me that a 'relaxant' has been ordered for MIL.
MIL will be staying at the nice nursing home tonight, but will be shipped out in the morning. This is going to be sticky, because it's FIL's birthday tomorrow and he wants to go out for lunch, and I daresay, he wants MIL to join him.
Tough situations ............
It's been an AWFUL day, BUT I have achieved much by getting ALL the laundry done, cleaning out her kitchen, her mattress has been in the sun ALL day and smells much nicer now, the floors are clean, the house aired out ....
AND
We're still having our holiday, although I am threatening to go earlier than expected now (because a) I can and b) we might have to).
BIL is due home tomorrow .. he's gotten in on the act .. so we'll see what waves he creates - Hurrican Rita might not be so bad compared to an irate BIL !!! (Just kidding, I know the hurricanes are more serious --->)
Hugs all
*Ready for a stiff scotch and bed and it's only 3.24pm*
Sally
<<<rolling eyes>>>
We visited the "Secure" respite area this afternoon .... oh it's sad .. so very very sad .. there was a lady at the door, determined to make it work, she had wet herself and you could smell her through the door .... yuck ... they took us for a wander around, and thankfully, it was only that lady that smelt, the rooms are spacious and airy, safe and secure with a lovely garden in the middle. We even saw 2 residents come up and shake hands like they had just met .. that was sweet ...
But it is so very very sad, and they all reminded me of MIL .... 'cept she doesn't see herself like them, and yes, she has a different form of dementia that 'typical'. My MIL has never been 'typical' LOL.
So .. BACK to the doctors office to ask him to fill out another medical form, then BACK to the chemist to say "don't send anything yet, we're not sure where she'll be ..." and they informed me that a 'relaxant' has been ordered for MIL.
MIL will be staying at the nice nursing home tonight, but will be shipped out in the morning. This is going to be sticky, because it's FIL's birthday tomorrow and he wants to go out for lunch, and I daresay, he wants MIL to join him.
Tough situations ............
It's been an AWFUL day, BUT I have achieved much by getting ALL the laundry done, cleaning out her kitchen, her mattress has been in the sun ALL day and smells much nicer now, the floors are clean, the house aired out ....
AND
We're still having our holiday, although I am threatening to go earlier than expected now (because a) I can and b) we might have to).
BIL is due home tomorrow .. he's gotten in on the act .. so we'll see what waves he creates - Hurrican Rita might not be so bad compared to an irate BIL !!! (Just kidding, I know the hurricanes are more serious --->)
Hugs all
*Ready for a stiff scotch and bed and it's only 3.24pm*
Sally
Martha H
09-22-2005, 08:10 AM
Oh boy. Isn't is strange that places you would think KNOW how to deal with such patients don't want to do it? Why give her back to you? I wonder what BIL will do ...he won't likely take her home with him.
I dont even know what to tell you ..just keep planning your vacation and go, yes go early .. get out of reach of phones. Don't make plans for his birthday .. that is the least of your worries right now, he has some nerve to expect HER to be there ....
I'm hoping and praying you get your respite and MIL is finally placed PERMANENTLY- WHERE SHE IS safe and people safe from her. It is sad to see those poor souls wandering around lost, but this is the sickness, and this is the nursing home supposed to deal with it!!!
I dont even know what to tell you ..just keep planning your vacation and go, yes go early .. get out of reach of phones. Don't make plans for his birthday .. that is the least of your worries right now, he has some nerve to expect HER to be there ....
I'm hoping and praying you get your respite and MIL is finally placed PERMANENTLY- WHERE SHE IS safe and people safe from her. It is sad to see those poor souls wandering around lost, but this is the sickness, and this is the nursing home supposed to deal with it!!!
BarbaraH
09-22-2005, 09:18 AM
Hi Sally,
Yep, leave now, tell FIL you'll do his birthday lunch when you're back and go. Phones off unless you want to use them. Leave before BIL returns. This is self-preservation! In case BIL brings MIL home, you might lock up precious items in case she comes upstairs or lock the door so she cannot get upstairs.
Perhaps the "relaxant" will help MIL be calmer and more compliant so she'll be okay at the new place. It is so sad to tour places that care for those so far gone from Alzheimers. We saw 2 that were bad and, thankfully, the others were good, clean, sunny, and pleasant.
I hope some safe place can be found for MIL. It does speak volumes that the NH specializing in care of AD patients cannot handle MIL. You have been working more wonders than you knew!
Stay strong! You have nothing to be ashamed of or feel bad about. You have done the best you could for MIL for as long as possible. No guilt!!!!!!!
Hope you can pop on here to let us know you're escaping! GO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop by to collect the mail and go!!
Hugs enough to last the week! Barbara :)
Yep, leave now, tell FIL you'll do his birthday lunch when you're back and go. Phones off unless you want to use them. Leave before BIL returns. This is self-preservation! In case BIL brings MIL home, you might lock up precious items in case she comes upstairs or lock the door so she cannot get upstairs.
Perhaps the "relaxant" will help MIL be calmer and more compliant so she'll be okay at the new place. It is so sad to tour places that care for those so far gone from Alzheimers. We saw 2 that were bad and, thankfully, the others were good, clean, sunny, and pleasant.
I hope some safe place can be found for MIL. It does speak volumes that the NH specializing in care of AD patients cannot handle MIL. You have been working more wonders than you knew!
Stay strong! You have nothing to be ashamed of or feel bad about. You have done the best you could for MIL for as long as possible. No guilt!!!!!!!
Hope you can pop on here to let us know you're escaping! GO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop by to collect the mail and go!!
Hugs enough to last the week! Barbara :)
Martha H
09-22-2005, 09:57 AM
You wrote: "I feel like a whinging, complaining B*i*t*c*h about all this, but enough is enough. If a nursing home with TRAINED STAFF can't handle her, who the heck expects ME (almost but not quite trained) to cope ...???"
SALLY STOP CALLING YOURSELF NAMES!!!!!!!!
You have performed a juggling act well above anyone's rightful expectations, now you will be taken off the hook! If a nursing home can't cope wirh MIL, how can you? Give up, let them forcibly place her, even if it takes a court order. Meanwhile get out of reach!
Love,
Martha
SALLY STOP CALLING YOURSELF NAMES!!!!!!!!
You have performed a juggling act well above anyone's rightful expectations, now you will be taken off the hook! If a nursing home can't cope wirh MIL, how can you? Give up, let them forcibly place her, even if it takes a court order. Meanwhile get out of reach!
Love,
Martha
angel_bear
09-22-2005, 04:17 PM
ACAT will not allow MIL to be brought home in our absence. If BIL wants her out, then he will be made to take full responsibility for her in HIS home!
And we all know,that won't happen ...
Latest breaking news: MIL might be able to stay in the nice nursing home for a few days as one of the 'secure' residents had to go to hospital, so they're using his room for MIL. She's on seroquel (sp?) a calmative that takes 30 minutes to work and is only used as needed (which will be more regular than I think they will say).
ON the bright side, on top of my statement of "if a nursing home with TRAINED STAFF can't handle her, who the heck expects ME" ............. I can now add: "If a nursing home with qualified staff have to SEDATE MIL to curb her behaviour, I'm concerned about her coming home" -- I'm not sure if I can actually SAY that one, but I'll try.
And yes Martha, I'll stop calling myself names .. **Promise**
Big hugs my friends .. I've needed 'em.
(and PS: Cameron and I both have sore throats and yucky noses and arent feeling the best ... Tamea and Alan had this last week ... nice of them to share)
Sally
And we all know,that won't happen ...
Latest breaking news: MIL might be able to stay in the nice nursing home for a few days as one of the 'secure' residents had to go to hospital, so they're using his room for MIL. She's on seroquel (sp?) a calmative that takes 30 minutes to work and is only used as needed (which will be more regular than I think they will say).
ON the bright side, on top of my statement of "if a nursing home with TRAINED STAFF can't handle her, who the heck expects ME" ............. I can now add: "If a nursing home with qualified staff have to SEDATE MIL to curb her behaviour, I'm concerned about her coming home" -- I'm not sure if I can actually SAY that one, but I'll try.
And yes Martha, I'll stop calling myself names .. **Promise**
Big hugs my friends .. I've needed 'em.
(and PS: Cameron and I both have sore throats and yucky noses and arent feeling the best ... Tamea and Alan had this last week ... nice of them to share)
Sally
Martha H
09-22-2005, 04:58 PM
Sally .. you go off on your lovely holiday - a bit early - and enjoy peace. I guarantee that a few days without the double and triple load you have been carrying will clear up the colds ... drinking a lot of liquids will help too.
I am so happy something seems to be working out. Even just until that other patient comes back .. at least it's a temporary solution. You'd better be unavailable when BIL returns or he will think he can persuade you to stay. Don't tell him where you're going and don't call him or pick up the phone ....
Go into hiding!! Go underground! Take on a new identity ..
(Just kidding!)
Love and best of luck ..get well, and come back and tell us your problems have all been solved ...
Love,
Martha
I am so happy something seems to be working out. Even just until that other patient comes back .. at least it's a temporary solution. You'd better be unavailable when BIL returns or he will think he can persuade you to stay. Don't tell him where you're going and don't call him or pick up the phone ....
Go into hiding!! Go underground! Take on a new identity ..
(Just kidding!)
Love and best of luck ..get well, and come back and tell us your problems have all been solved ...
Love,
Martha
BarbaraH
09-22-2005, 07:06 PM
Hi Sally,
Whoo hoo! Glad ACAT is on the ball at last! Hope they scare the bejesus out of BIL if he starts an uproar. Where ever you are, you'll know MIL is safe at last.
Add to your list that a sedated MIL cannot be at home alone. Period!
Go, child! Take your tissues, tea, and cozy sick clothes. Take some books to read in case you need to stay inside a day or two. Stop and get some bubbly and/or Scotch! This is a decadent dash for freedom and you should have some treats to nibble on, too! Hope you and Cameron feel better soon.
I'll miss your rollicking humorous take on the chaos du jour at the house, but you do deserve a break and I'll wait!
Happy birthday to FIL!
Have a safe trip! Mind your driving! Bye for now!
Hugs and blessings! Barbara :wave:
Whoo hoo! Glad ACAT is on the ball at last! Hope they scare the bejesus out of BIL if he starts an uproar. Where ever you are, you'll know MIL is safe at last.
Add to your list that a sedated MIL cannot be at home alone. Period!
Go, child! Take your tissues, tea, and cozy sick clothes. Take some books to read in case you need to stay inside a day or two. Stop and get some bubbly and/or Scotch! This is a decadent dash for freedom and you should have some treats to nibble on, too! Hope you and Cameron feel better soon.
I'll miss your rollicking humorous take on the chaos du jour at the house, but you do deserve a break and I'll wait!
Happy birthday to FIL!
Have a safe trip! Mind your driving! Bye for now!
Hugs and blessings! Barbara :wave:
LuvMyLilDoggie
09-22-2005, 07:47 PM
Sally, be sure to be gone if/when MIL is released. BIL will either have to take her home with him or stay with her in your home. Seal the crack so that he HAS to take resposibility. He wanted the power (POA). Along with power comes responsibility. PERIOD!
Put the cell phones on silent. Listen to the voice mails if you wish. But don't respond unless it's an emergency.
You NEED this respite! You and I both have thyroid problems. And you know what stress does to those of us who aren't in perfect health to begin with. Our immunity system isn't always the greatest.
Take care of yourself! That's a DEMAND! (ok, I can't be that harsh so PLEEEEEEZZZZZE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF)!!!! :)
We make these very strong suggestions because we care about you.
And at the risk of sounding like a mom (oh no!!!!), drink plenty of liquids. Have a hot toddy at bedtime ( :eek: would mom say THAT???) and REST REST REST!
Love, Barb
Put the cell phones on silent. Listen to the voice mails if you wish. But don't respond unless it's an emergency.
You NEED this respite! You and I both have thyroid problems. And you know what stress does to those of us who aren't in perfect health to begin with. Our immunity system isn't always the greatest.
Take care of yourself! That's a DEMAND! (ok, I can't be that harsh so PLEEEEEEZZZZZE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF)!!!! :)
We make these very strong suggestions because we care about you.
And at the risk of sounding like a mom (oh no!!!!), drink plenty of liquids. Have a hot toddy at bedtime ( :eek: would mom say THAT???) and REST REST REST!
Love, Barb
angel_bear
09-22-2005, 08:38 PM
You all made me laugh .. but thanks guys ... am awaiting a phone call from ACAT with the latest news .. will report back soon
*sniff*
..................*cough*............... ..
*splutter*
I'll live ...
Hugs
Sally
*sniff*
..................*cough*............... ..
*splutter*
I'll live ...
Hugs
Sally
Shays mom
09-22-2005, 08:49 PM
Here's a tissue. Blow!!!!!!!! :bouncing: :wave:
angel_bear
09-22-2005, 09:20 PM
**snort**
^^^^^^^^^^cough^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Can I go to bed now please Mummy?
^^^^^^^^^^cough^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Can I go to bed now please Mummy?
LuvMyLilDoggie
09-22-2005, 09:48 PM
Yes you can go to bed. Here's your hot toddy dear! :D
Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite! If they do, hit them with a shoe and say "I don't want to sleep with you!" LOL
Love, Barb
Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite! If they do, hit them with a shoe and say "I don't want to sleep with you!" LOL
Love, Barb
Shays mom
09-22-2005, 09:54 PM
Yes sweet pea you may go to bed. Take care.
angel_bear
09-23-2005, 01:08 AM
Didn't get a chance to go back to bed *sigh*
I rang ACAT .. they finally rang me back with:
"Are you ready to come out and help move MIL?"
And I said "But hang on .. BIL was told by 'nice' nursing home that she could stay a few days" and ACAT said "Well, no, she can't, we have to move her .. and now is a good time"
And then .. I burst out crying. I feel like SUCH a sook (not name calling myself .. just stating the emotion I was feeling) ... now, because today is FIL's birthday, he was organising with Alan about going out for lunch, and we had somewhat relaxed (silly us) into thinking that we had until Monday to figure out the fine details with MIL, but that threw those plans out the window .. well then Alan didn't want to go and move his mother, so I ended up saying "fine, I'll do it" and then ACAT called the Social Worker (G - remember him?) and HE went with ACAT and got MIL. In the meantime, Alan and I dashed out to the new nursing home, and got most of the paperwork filled out. When ACAT and G turned up with MIL, we were hustled out a side door .. where we waited for ACAT and G to come out and tell us how things went.
They did, about 15-20 minutes later. MIL didn't trust ACAT (funny that LOL) but liked G (she's always preferred boys) and HE managed to get her into the car and while she was being re-booked in, he took her out to the garden, which she liked. They then showed her her room, and then ACAT and G left and came out to us.
PHEW.
Now in between all this, FIL is saying "Now, MIL is coming to lunch with us isn't she?" and I totally lost my temper and said a few choice words I'm not allowed to repeat here and hung up on him. The nursing home didn't recommend any family visits or outings for 'a few days' (if at all). He took it quite well when we went to see him after MIL was secure. We're taking him out for dinner tonight instead, and we're surprising him with a friend instead.
So then we went on the Merry-go-round of finding MIL's medications, FOUND THEM, found somebody had ordered Serapax for her, and I had a fit (because she really reacted quite horribly with those) but they've got her on serenase (sp?). The nursing home also got the doctor in virtually IMMEDIATELY (he's great our doctor) and found she's STILL got this huge UTI happening .. so she's going to be on MORE med's as well.
And in the short time she's been at this facility, she's been incontinent of urine AND faeces. She's got no underwear, so I'm about to go shopping for her for them .. and the facility is INSISTING she wears pads ..
THANK HEAVENS !!!
So ........... for now ................ at this moment of time ..............before night falls .. she's happy'ish. We dropped off her meds' a moment ago, and the staff said she was in the group, happy as larry, singing songs (she warbles, no words), that she's letting them toilet and wash her .. and for the moment, she seems ok.
We'll wait until the sundowning thing happens .. then we'll see.
OK .. time to go undie shopping
Hugs
Sally
I rang ACAT .. they finally rang me back with:
"Are you ready to come out and help move MIL?"
And I said "But hang on .. BIL was told by 'nice' nursing home that she could stay a few days" and ACAT said "Well, no, she can't, we have to move her .. and now is a good time"
And then .. I burst out crying. I feel like SUCH a sook (not name calling myself .. just stating the emotion I was feeling) ... now, because today is FIL's birthday, he was organising with Alan about going out for lunch, and we had somewhat relaxed (silly us) into thinking that we had until Monday to figure out the fine details with MIL, but that threw those plans out the window .. well then Alan didn't want to go and move his mother, so I ended up saying "fine, I'll do it" and then ACAT called the Social Worker (G - remember him?) and HE went with ACAT and got MIL. In the meantime, Alan and I dashed out to the new nursing home, and got most of the paperwork filled out. When ACAT and G turned up with MIL, we were hustled out a side door .. where we waited for ACAT and G to come out and tell us how things went.
They did, about 15-20 minutes later. MIL didn't trust ACAT (funny that LOL) but liked G (she's always preferred boys) and HE managed to get her into the car and while she was being re-booked in, he took her out to the garden, which she liked. They then showed her her room, and then ACAT and G left and came out to us.
PHEW.
Now in between all this, FIL is saying "Now, MIL is coming to lunch with us isn't she?" and I totally lost my temper and said a few choice words I'm not allowed to repeat here and hung up on him. The nursing home didn't recommend any family visits or outings for 'a few days' (if at all). He took it quite well when we went to see him after MIL was secure. We're taking him out for dinner tonight instead, and we're surprising him with a friend instead.
So then we went on the Merry-go-round of finding MIL's medications, FOUND THEM, found somebody had ordered Serapax for her, and I had a fit (because she really reacted quite horribly with those) but they've got her on serenase (sp?). The nursing home also got the doctor in virtually IMMEDIATELY (he's great our doctor) and found she's STILL got this huge UTI happening .. so she's going to be on MORE med's as well.
And in the short time she's been at this facility, she's been incontinent of urine AND faeces. She's got no underwear, so I'm about to go shopping for her for them .. and the facility is INSISTING she wears pads ..
THANK HEAVENS !!!
So ........... for now ................ at this moment of time ..............before night falls .. she's happy'ish. We dropped off her meds' a moment ago, and the staff said she was in the group, happy as larry, singing songs (she warbles, no words), that she's letting them toilet and wash her .. and for the moment, she seems ok.
We'll wait until the sundowning thing happens .. then we'll see.
OK .. time to go undie shopping
Hugs
Sally
Martha H
09-23-2005, 09:06 AM
Good Grief!
What a runaround. My Mom would say, ''they gave you the bum's rush."
I can only hope you get going on that vacation before THIS NH wants her removed. What kind of a place is it, and is this now a permanent position or just a ''respite?"
Either way, you have to insist you can't have her any more.
Good luck and have a happy vacation.
Love,
Martha
What a runaround. My Mom would say, ''they gave you the bum's rush."
I can only hope you get going on that vacation before THIS NH wants her removed. What kind of a place is it, and is this now a permanent position or just a ''respite?"
Either way, you have to insist you can't have her any more.
Good luck and have a happy vacation.
Love,
Martha
BarbaraH
09-23-2005, 09:39 AM
Hi Sally,
Mercy! What a day! Hope dinner was nice and FIL was pleasant. Hope no further calls came from the new NH.
Maybe the serenase (sp?) will keep her calm. This place ought to have a method for dealing with sundowners. My Mom has sundowners and the staff let her wander as residents' doors were locked and she couldn't get in to bother anyone. She was usually happy to come downstairs to the desk and talk all night (but then she napped during the day). That's when she was started on a mild sleeping pill and the sundowners was put to bed (pun intended). Perhaps leave word with the new place that she can have a sleeping pill if needed.
You tend your cold and get the h**l out of Dodge! Reference is to an old TV western.
Happy holiday!
Hugs - Barbara :)
Mercy! What a day! Hope dinner was nice and FIL was pleasant. Hope no further calls came from the new NH.
Maybe the serenase (sp?) will keep her calm. This place ought to have a method for dealing with sundowners. My Mom has sundowners and the staff let her wander as residents' doors were locked and she couldn't get in to bother anyone. She was usually happy to come downstairs to the desk and talk all night (but then she napped during the day). That's when she was started on a mild sleeping pill and the sundowners was put to bed (pun intended). Perhaps leave word with the new place that she can have a sleeping pill if needed.
You tend your cold and get the h**l out of Dodge! Reference is to an old TV western.
Happy holiday!
Hugs - Barbara :)
angel_bear
09-23-2005, 06:54 PM
Dodge City .. yeah .. heard that one.
We can't leave until TUESDAY now .. Social Security have requested a meeting with Alan .... but we've made an early appointment, so hopefully we can run away right after that ....
The God's are against us having a holiday .. I am certain.
This NH is only respite. MIL must be moved on the 5th October, be it back to home (where I will do a song and dance and rant and rave and quit) or to a stable secure unit, but she cannot stay at this NH indefinately unfortunately.
I ended up going back to the NH twice yesterday .. 1 to drop off the med's and 2 to drop off extra clothes and the new underwear. When I got there the 2nd time, just as I was about to walk up the ramp, who is standing at the front door/window? Yup, MIL !! I reversed, did a flying mad dash around the corner, grabbed my mobile phone and rang the nursing home and said "I'm outside, she's at the door . HELP" So they met me around the back again .. LOL .. from ANOTHER secret door! I tell ya .. it's just like the Big Brother house!!!
I'll ring the nursing home at 9am and see how she went. This lot seem more prepared for her, so that's a bonus, but if she's combative and a risk to the other patients, she will have to be shifted to the hospital and put in a stable doored room ...
She's gone from this HUGE airy complex, to a small confined building and may yet end up in just a room. So sad .. so very very sad.
Hugs all
Sally
We can't leave until TUESDAY now .. Social Security have requested a meeting with Alan .... but we've made an early appointment, so hopefully we can run away right after that ....
The God's are against us having a holiday .. I am certain.
This NH is only respite. MIL must be moved on the 5th October, be it back to home (where I will do a song and dance and rant and rave and quit) or to a stable secure unit, but she cannot stay at this NH indefinately unfortunately.
I ended up going back to the NH twice yesterday .. 1 to drop off the med's and 2 to drop off extra clothes and the new underwear. When I got there the 2nd time, just as I was about to walk up the ramp, who is standing at the front door/window? Yup, MIL !! I reversed, did a flying mad dash around the corner, grabbed my mobile phone and rang the nursing home and said "I'm outside, she's at the door . HELP" So they met me around the back again .. LOL .. from ANOTHER secret door! I tell ya .. it's just like the Big Brother house!!!
I'll ring the nursing home at 9am and see how she went. This lot seem more prepared for her, so that's a bonus, but if she's combative and a risk to the other patients, she will have to be shifted to the hospital and put in a stable doored room ...
She's gone from this HUGE airy complex, to a small confined building and may yet end up in just a room. So sad .. so very very sad.
Hugs all
Sally
Martha H
09-23-2005, 07:26 PM
Sally .. this HAS to be part I of the Permanent Solution ..when the 14 days are up, a place HAS to be found, not back to you. Do what you have to do to get it done. We're all rooting for you.
I'm writing from my daughter's house where I am babysitting overnight.
Love,
martha
I'm writing from my daughter's house where I am babysitting overnight.
Love,
martha
BarbaraH
09-23-2005, 08:17 PM
Hi Sally -
Well, phooey! Sorry the takeoff is delayed. I will say that one bright glimmer is that MIL isn't at home, so you can at least relax while under that roof.
I know what you mean about the smaller spaces these loved one are confined in. Mother's apartment at the ALF was sunny, spacious (not huge, but really okay), accomodated her living room furniture, a table and 4 dining chairs, her bedroom furniture, and had 2 good closets. 7 months later, after she went out the door at 9pm and had to leave, her next accomodation was a shared room with only her own nightstand, chest of drawers, and a small chair. She didn't even notice. I was so sad for her shrinking world and the little blessing was that she wasn't bothered in the least. I hope MIL is equally unbothered.
As Martha said, whether MIL is bothered or not, she cannot come home. Glad ACAT is fully aware of that now. MIL is properly evaluated and their eyes are more open than BIL would have preferred!! You win!!
Let us know how it continues to go. Hope you can enjoy some fun family outings or activities this weekend. Thoughts are with you!
Hugs and blessings - Barbara :)
Well, phooey! Sorry the takeoff is delayed. I will say that one bright glimmer is that MIL isn't at home, so you can at least relax while under that roof.
I know what you mean about the smaller spaces these loved one are confined in. Mother's apartment at the ALF was sunny, spacious (not huge, but really okay), accomodated her living room furniture, a table and 4 dining chairs, her bedroom furniture, and had 2 good closets. 7 months later, after she went out the door at 9pm and had to leave, her next accomodation was a shared room with only her own nightstand, chest of drawers, and a small chair. She didn't even notice. I was so sad for her shrinking world and the little blessing was that she wasn't bothered in the least. I hope MIL is equally unbothered.
As Martha said, whether MIL is bothered or not, she cannot come home. Glad ACAT is fully aware of that now. MIL is properly evaluated and their eyes are more open than BIL would have preferred!! You win!!
Let us know how it continues to go. Hope you can enjoy some fun family outings or activities this weekend. Thoughts are with you!
Hugs and blessings - Barbara :)
angel_bear
09-23-2005, 08:45 PM
Well today we're going shopping ... and it's 9.41 .. we won't be visiting FIL until this afternoon on our way out to a friends place where we will sleepover.
I get a sleepover too Martha!!!
I rang the Nursing home, and the report was that MIL was "good and bad" .. good meaning she didn't hit anybody (but pointed THE FINGER - I told them to duck the finger LOL) but was agitated and incontinent and a bit aggressive. A full behaviour change from day to night.
Isn't it amazing? AND she's got no wine, AND her behaviour at night is no different to at home ... <<<blinking eyes>>>
So .. this lot seem Ok with her, she's been wandering in the courtyard garden with her little dog. She bought this tiny stuffed dog last year, that when you squeeze him, he barks. He always sits on the coffee table with her and watches TV, and is often found looking at photographs, or going for various trips around the house. I made sure I packed him, and yes, she likes him a lot. He's her companion. That and her bible.
So ... TODAY I WILL RELAX .... !!!!!!!
Hugs all
Sally
I get a sleepover too Martha!!!
I rang the Nursing home, and the report was that MIL was "good and bad" .. good meaning she didn't hit anybody (but pointed THE FINGER - I told them to duck the finger LOL) but was agitated and incontinent and a bit aggressive. A full behaviour change from day to night.
Isn't it amazing? AND she's got no wine, AND her behaviour at night is no different to at home ... <<<blinking eyes>>>
So .. this lot seem Ok with her, she's been wandering in the courtyard garden with her little dog. She bought this tiny stuffed dog last year, that when you squeeze him, he barks. He always sits on the coffee table with her and watches TV, and is often found looking at photographs, or going for various trips around the house. I made sure I packed him, and yes, she likes him a lot. He's her companion. That and her bible.
So ... TODAY I WILL RELAX .... !!!!!!!
Hugs all
Sally
LuvMyLilDoggie
09-23-2005, 09:21 PM
YES!!! You FINALLY get to REST! Did you shut the phones off?
It is very sad to see someone you love slipping away like that. I see it starting in my MIL now too. Dad will be back from his trip in a few weeks. I'm interested to see if there are any changes in him. But at the same time, I'm dreading it. I know that for people with dementia, change can't be good. They never improve. So sad.......
Gee Sally, I would think that FIL would know not to mess with you anymore! LOL! I hope you all had a very nice dinner with FIL and that he enjoyed his birthday.
Now you relax and take care of those sniffles!
Love, Barb
PS I got the sniffles again too. I got it from a child who sneezed on me (YUK!!! Thank GOD for hand sanitizer!!!) while I was putting him in his car seat on the bus. Either that or I got it from my son Bo. He's sick with the sniffles and a sore throat. But he still insists on going to school and volunteering at our local cable tv station. He's a camera man/director. He's also the assistant to the executive producer. He's planning on going to college to do something in tv, something behind the scenes. He's not quite sure what yet. He does love doing what he's doing though.
It is very sad to see someone you love slipping away like that. I see it starting in my MIL now too. Dad will be back from his trip in a few weeks. I'm interested to see if there are any changes in him. But at the same time, I'm dreading it. I know that for people with dementia, change can't be good. They never improve. So sad.......
Gee Sally, I would think that FIL would know not to mess with you anymore! LOL! I hope you all had a very nice dinner with FIL and that he enjoyed his birthday.
Now you relax and take care of those sniffles!
Love, Barb
PS I got the sniffles again too. I got it from a child who sneezed on me (YUK!!! Thank GOD for hand sanitizer!!!) while I was putting him in his car seat on the bus. Either that or I got it from my son Bo. He's sick with the sniffles and a sore throat. But he still insists on going to school and volunteering at our local cable tv station. He's a camera man/director. He's also the assistant to the executive producer. He's planning on going to college to do something in tv, something behind the scenes. He's not quite sure what yet. He does love doing what he's doing though.
BarbaraH
09-24-2005, 01:11 AM
Hi all -
I've got the sniffles and raspy throat,too. Who sneezed on their computer?!!
and so, to bed ... sniffle ... Achoooo!
Hugs and pass the kleenex, please! Barbara :rolleyes:
I've got the sniffles and raspy throat,too. Who sneezed on their computer?!!
and so, to bed ... sniffle ... Achoooo!
Hugs and pass the kleenex, please! Barbara :rolleyes:
angel_bear
09-24-2005, 01:52 AM
There .. I knew I was contagious ... now I proved it
Here's a box of tissues ... --->
and some sudafed ... ---->
And some eucalyptus oil .... --->
and a warm brandy .... --->
Hugs
Sally
Here's a box of tissues ... --->
and some sudafed ... ---->
And some eucalyptus oil .... --->
and a warm brandy .... --->
Hugs
Sally
BarbaraH
09-24-2005, 02:01 PM
Hi Sally -
I'm a little better this morning - don't sound as much like Lauren Bacall as I did last night! Ta for the medicinal aides and I trust you've partaken of each in the last few days yourself!
Hope your sleepover was a lot of fun and very restorative. Since it's your Sunday, the mini-countdown is 2 days until your escape to the countryside and tomato farm!! Cherish each way you and your family reclaim your lives!!! Shrea, shrea!
Any word on MIL?
Hugs - Barbara :)
I'm a little better this morning - don't sound as much like Lauren Bacall as I did last night! Ta for the medicinal aides and I trust you've partaken of each in the last few days yourself!
Hope your sleepover was a lot of fun and very restorative. Since it's your Sunday, the mini-countdown is 2 days until your escape to the countryside and tomato farm!! Cherish each way you and your family reclaim your lives!!! Shrea, shrea!
Any word on MIL?
Hugs - Barbara :)
angel_bear
09-25-2005, 02:39 AM
Good afternoon! My sleepover was a resounding success, even if Sue and I failed miserably at darts ... the boys ALWAYS win ... I'm just thankful I can hit the round thing .. they keep expecting me to actually purposefully land a dart in a designated number!!
The hide of them! LOL
Anyway .. I HAVEN'T RUNG THE NURSING HOME TODAY .. I will ring tomorrow morning .. today .. I wanted a day OFF of worrying and stressing. BIL is in town. "L" has taken off for a holiday north without him .. so he can do some Dad-Care and we'll figure out Mum-Care tomorrow. BIL is meeting with MIL to get her re-assessed, and this time BIL can't argue with the professionals.
Let's just pray they come through this time and don't send MIL home!!!!!!! FOR HER SAKE as well as everybody else!!
Big hugs to all ...
Sally
The hide of them! LOL
Anyway .. I HAVEN'T RUNG THE NURSING HOME TODAY .. I will ring tomorrow morning .. today .. I wanted a day OFF of worrying and stressing. BIL is in town. "L" has taken off for a holiday north without him .. so he can do some Dad-Care and we'll figure out Mum-Care tomorrow. BIL is meeting with MIL to get her re-assessed, and this time BIL can't argue with the professionals.
Let's just pray they come through this time and don't send MIL home!!!!!!! FOR HER SAKE as well as everybody else!!
Big hugs to all ...
Sally
BarbaraH
09-25-2005, 09:53 AM
oops! hit submit before I was finished! see below! :rolleyes:
BarbaraH
09-25-2005, 09:56 AM
Hi Sally!
Glad you had fun and games at the sleepover! I know what would improve your aim at darts. Put BIL's picture on the bullseye!! :D
Hope the elders stay quiet and happy today so you can have the rest of today off. Oh, to be that fly on the wall as ACAT talks with BIL! I couldn't agree more that everything said and done must/should be for MIL's good.
Cheers! Barbara :)
Glad you had fun and games at the sleepover! I know what would improve your aim at darts. Put BIL's picture on the bullseye!! :D
Hope the elders stay quiet and happy today so you can have the rest of today off. Oh, to be that fly on the wall as ACAT talks with BIL! I couldn't agree more that everything said and done must/should be for MIL's good.
Cheers! Barbara :)
LuvMyLilDoggie
09-25-2005, 03:59 PM
I hope everything goes the way it needs to in order to keep MIL safe and secure in a nice comfy NH. But don't be surprised (as if you would) if BIL tries to make excuses for MIL's behavior. "She's only acting this way because this is an unfamiliar setting for her" or whatever else he can think of.
Of course I don't think ACAT would buy that for one second. They know what you've gone through and what the professionals who are now dealing with her now are going through.
I hope everyone is feeling much better today. I'm still feeling the same.
Sudafed sounds good but is getting to be a bit of a hassle to purchase here due to the regulations on it.
Love, Barb
Of course I don't think ACAT would buy that for one second. They know what you've gone through and what the professionals who are now dealing with her now are going through.
I hope everyone is feeling much better today. I'm still feeling the same.
Sudafed sounds good but is getting to be a bit of a hassle to purchase here due to the regulations on it.
Love, Barb
angel_bear
09-25-2005, 07:32 PM
Try Telfast in the orange packet if you can get your hands on it .. Sue gave me some and it worked BRILLIANTLY ..
Yeah .. Sudafed's a bit of a pain getting here too .. but one look at me and my sinus, and they usually hand it over happily ..
Helps when the Chemist has known you for years too ....
I'm going to ring the NH shortly and see how MIL's last 2 nights have been.
Hugs
Sally
Yeah .. Sudafed's a bit of a pain getting here too .. but one look at me and my sinus, and they usually hand it over happily ..
Helps when the Chemist has known you for years too ....
I'm going to ring the NH shortly and see how MIL's last 2 nights have been.
Hugs
Sally
LuvMyLilDoggie
09-25-2005, 10:00 PM
I've never heard of Telfast but I have some Drixoral I forgot I had. That works well for sinuses. When I had bronchitis, I took that and NyQuil at night. I slept almost like a baby.
I'm feeling a little better today. I went to see The Exorcism of Emily Rose. It's based on a true story. I give it four stars!
Oh and yesterday I took our high school girls tennis team to another high school nearby to play in a tennis tournament. It took about 30 minutes to get there and 30 minutes to get back. The rest of the 8 hours I was paid overtime to watch tennis matches! I made over $100 for 1 hour of actual work. I alomst feel guilty. But that's the way they do things. I love driving a school bus!
Love, Barb
I'm feeling a little better today. I went to see The Exorcism of Emily Rose. It's based on a true story. I give it four stars!
Oh and yesterday I took our high school girls tennis team to another high school nearby to play in a tennis tournament. It took about 30 minutes to get there and 30 minutes to get back. The rest of the 8 hours I was paid overtime to watch tennis matches! I made over $100 for 1 hour of actual work. I alomst feel guilty. But that's the way they do things. I love driving a school bus!
Love, Barb
ToBeFreeToRoam
09-27-2005, 12:30 PM
Hi Sally & Everyone else too!
I am sorry Sally, that I was not here to help you and cheer you up! But, from what I have read, the other wonderful, caring ladies have and are taking good care of you!!!
I hope that you feel better after your sleep over with friends! Hope that it kept your mind off of the very stressing things that have been happening to you and to your family.
I only got to read this thread 1 time while I was gone. So, I was greatly worried about and for you!! We just got back last night.
Yes, do rest up and try to relax when you can! You have been thru so so much!!! I do hope that everything works out like it should. That yall get to go on your vacation and that MIL gets to stay permanently in a NH!!!!! That is what she needs and what you and your family need. It does show everyone, what a trouper you were and are! I do not think anyone else, except a NH could have done what you have done in the past years!!!
I will talk more later, have to unpack and put the house back to order. We had no damage except a few downed tree limbs! I will talk about that on another thread, later.
Keep doing and saying what you want and need, Sally. And stick to your guns!!!
Love, Wannabe
I am sorry Sally, that I was not here to help you and cheer you up! But, from what I have read, the other wonderful, caring ladies have and are taking good care of you!!!
I hope that you feel better after your sleep over with friends! Hope that it kept your mind off of the very stressing things that have been happening to you and to your family.
I only got to read this thread 1 time while I was gone. So, I was greatly worried about and for you!! We just got back last night.
Yes, do rest up and try to relax when you can! You have been thru so so much!!! I do hope that everything works out like it should. That yall get to go on your vacation and that MIL gets to stay permanently in a NH!!!!! That is what she needs and what you and your family need. It does show everyone, what a trouper you were and are! I do not think anyone else, except a NH could have done what you have done in the past years!!!
I will talk more later, have to unpack and put the house back to order. We had no damage except a few downed tree limbs! I will talk about that on another thread, later.
Keep doing and saying what you want and need, Sally. And stick to your guns!!!
Love, Wannabe
Martha H
09-27-2005, 01:52 PM
I am so glad you are all right, Wannabe! Great that your house did not get damaged. I hope that was now the LAST of those gosh awful storms for this year ...
Love,
Martha
Love,
Martha