About two years ago my husband and I found out that he was infertile. We have opted not to do IVF, but adoption is not out of the question. This was not devastating news for us, we handled it quite well. I have been experiencing some negative feelings lately. I get pretty jealous of my in-laws who have children. I am envious of the attention they get from our parents and I sometimes feel as though I am not very important to them. I also get a bit depressed when I get together with the girls in my family, his side and mine, and the conversation is always about babies. That really upsets me. I am sure these feelings are natural but I can't seem to shake them. I have also been pondering the question of what am I going to do with my life now. I think my life may be kind of boring and lonely if I keep doing what I am doing. Please feel free to email me at [ please read and follow the posting rules - no emails ] , I would love to hear from you and talk more if you are experiencing the same things. It would be nice to know that I am not the only one out there feeling this way. Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I have never written on a message board before so I hope I can find my way back here. I just did a google search for infertility message boards and this is what came up. Thanks again :) JOY






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jpeter,
You're not alone in your feelings. Here is where you will find many other people who feel the same. I for one am doing IVF and I'm on my second round. I look at pregnant people in a whole new light. I'm jealous, envious, angry, ...full of emotions. Thing's I've never felt before trying to get pregnant. "Why is she a baby making machine and I can't get pregnant!" "Look at that cute baby....I want one!" "She wasn't even trying to have a child and look at her now!" "Not fair!" "Why not me?!?" Sound familiar?

If you and your husband are open to adoption, then go for it. It takes so long, so by the time it happens, you'll be ready for it. You two need to sit down and talk about how you're feeling. That's the first step.

I've had long conversations with myself about this. I'm doing this alone, with no husband, so they were heated discussions with myself. :-) It took me a long time. I waited probably too long (I'm now 41). But I know this is what I want, and I'm going for it. If IVF doesn't work for me, then adoption is the way I'll go too. I'm tired of being jealous!

Good luck.....in whatever you decide. But no, you are not alone!

I feel the same way, I have secluded myself from my friends b/c they all have babies, 1st try/ I hate being around in law family same issue, baby talk baby talk, everywhere I look a woman is pregnant and I look at her and say mean words under my breath, my spouse and I have been trying for a year, not too activly but not preventing, now of course we are anxious to have a baby and are running into trouble. However, 10 yrs ago, I was pregnant miscarried and was pregnant again and sadly had to make the horrible desicion to abort, so now that I am married and ready to start a family---- nothing. My spouse has been tested 2 x he is below normal on his mobility, so I start my 1st dose of Clomid this month. So we will see, but I know how you feel, I never thought I could think such mean thought against others who can conceive, the jealousy is over powering. Their are now sooo many ways to conceive no matter what the situation is, so keep your head up you just have to have an open mind about all the procedures if you really want a baby you will do whatever it takes, at least I will.

Hi Joy. I am experiencing a lot of the same things as you. It's hard to feel positive, isn't it? My best friend is pregnant and although I put on a brave face and I really am happy for her, I can't help wishing I was in the same boat. My husband and I have been trying to have a family for nearly a year with no luck. I've been given the all-clear -- it's a male factor issue. It's not hopeless for us, but it's not going to be easy. I have decided to wait until 2006 to think about IUI and IVF...and adoption is an option for us too. I have to decided which is more important to me: the process (being pregnant) or the product (a little baby). I think a baby is more important than the pregnancy for me, so adoption might be a good choice. I just have to get my husband on side. He's still really hopeful it will happen naturally (it may...I just don't want to get my hopes too high since our chances aren't high). I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, but you're not alone. I'm thinking of you and sending good vibes your way!

Hello Everyone.

My husband and I have been TTC for about 8 years now. We have had one failed fresh IVF cycle and 2 failed frozen cycles. We tried the fresh cycle again a few months ago but was cancelled due to high estrogen levels. We'll try again in Feb 2006. After 8 years of ttc and my being 36 we too are considering adoption at this point. We have been researching a little bit and was wondering if anyone has found an agency that will move forward with adoption process while also going through the IVF process. I've heard alot of agencies won't let you if you are currently undergoing IVF. Or if anyone has heard of a good agency to use.

Good Luck and Baby Dust to you all!!

Lorrie