I am so damn mad I could split heads. Hubby is a drunk, Mother is a drunk, daughter is a meth head, son used to do all above but cleaned himself up to join the service. I am a 45 Yo woman raising 2 grandsons 3 and 10 months. I have custody awarded through CPS. I work a full time job and am so tired all the time. I'm edgy and a basketcase of emotions most of the time. I do a real good job of keeping most of this inside. But sometimes I feel like I'm gonna blow. It just gets worse and worse. I get no household help at all. Daughter was told to leave. So I live with 4 guys and a mom who lives on my property in a Mobile. I feel like the only adult sometimes. It absolutely P O"s me that nobody lifts a finger to help. They go to work come home and play couch potato till bedtime. I do the supper thing, baths, dishes and if time premits before bed laundry. Oh and pack diaper bags for the next day to go to sitters. And they have the nerve to ask me if I mind going to the beer store. If you didn't have to have a damn beer in hand the minute you hit home you could go to the store your own self. I don't know what to do to get any of them to change. I do alot of message boards ranting and raving for this is my stress relieve. Thanks for reading if you got this far and any suggetions will be taken to heart.

my heart goes out to you but you will never change any of them. you can only change yourself. i wouldn't do anything for anyone except yourself and the 2 babies. best case would be to throw the rest out.

angel right, You can not change them, BUT you can change the way you do for them. start taking care of you. and the one ones, If all else fells, move out let them sit there and just look at one other, stop being the care giver. they are grown. Just say no i will not go get the beer. I will not cook for you, I will not wash your clothes. stand up for your self. Or they will slowly kill you in side.............Felicia

right on felicia---and how are you? it is one of th ehardest lessons in life to learn that you cannot change others behaviour only your own. i have gotten good at it through alot of therapy but i still backslide just as an addict does.

Yes we all back slide but It sure does change us when we take care of us,......pratice makes prefet.... just say today is mine today I am going to to a little for my self, Take alittle of that hard earned money and go have you nails done, let them do your feet, or get you hair done, Do somthing for your self, It is the little things that make up the big ones. Be good to yourself.......... God knows I am way pass due my self.... Felicia

wow, your name is so sad...neverknownhappi.
At 45 yr old. it's time you changed your life around so you will know happi.
I agree with the others. You can't change others. BUT, yes, you can change yourself. Don't expect it to happen overnight or in a week or a month. Changing the way you've thought for 45 yrs will take some time. But you can do it. Just take one thing at a time. Pick something you want to change, like running for the beer...make up your mind and in a low voice(no screaming, no arguing) just explain,when asked, you don't want to go on the beer run. You can say your cooking and don't want to stop or whatever. Get your feet wet..try something small and practice how you do it and what you say. DON"T get in an arguement..say whatever soft but firm and don't bend or argue. Trust me, the first time feels great and gives you more courage to take on another challenge. Work on one change a week or so, then go for another. Because they expect you to do it will probably throw some upset your way..people don't like losing control and by you taking charge of your own life, they will be losing control. We all have choices..you have choosen to let them control you...now it's time for you to control the person you want to be..and you can be whatever..sad or happy Take care of you and the grandchildren (doesn't sound like they have anyone else so you'll have to be their hero)...don't be afraid to ask us 'stuff' we'll be here to help.

..........

Well said, Texasfirewheel!!

Im only 18. But in my eye NONE of them show you any respect whatso ever! Take the babies and leave! Leave them to fend for themselves! Look after NO1 and thats yourself! They'll soon realise how much they need you and when they come begging you set down the rules! I realise all of what Ive just said is easier said than done but it doesn't sound like you'll be happy in that environment x

You'll say you do want to change your life. Of course, anyone in your place would say that. But that isnt always really the case. Some people actually NEED all that burden, all that responsibility, all that unappreciated effort. It feeds their "I'm not worthy of happiness" psyche. They complain but, subconsciously, they dont really want to change anything because they wouldnt know how to deal with real happiness. Texasfirewheel, you just described my sister. I wish something would 'snap' in her to make her do something about it. I miss my sister - I'd like to have her back.

Neverknownhappiness,
It's time you got to know happiness. Tell the whole lot of them to get bit, except the grandkids of course. They don't do a thing for you and now they feel entitled to whatever they want from you. You allowed it, but you have complete power to stop allowing it. When you decide to start caring about yourself and drawing the line with them, they're going to tell you you've lost it. You've gone over the deep end. You need therapy, or you're just crazy. What's your problem anyway? What did I do to you? I can almost hear all the comments they'll make because I've heard them before. If you stick to your gun without arguing with them, they'll realize that their rude comments aren't changing you back into the doormat they've come to expect. They'll have two choices. Either they'll leave......doubtful, or they'll step up to the plate. They will only live up to your expectations, so you need to raise the bar.