October 11th marks the first anniversary of my mother's death. Since then we've dealt with a lot of "firsts". First Mother's Day, first Christmas, Thanksgiving, all of our birthdays....But of all of this, nothing compares to what I'm feeling right now. The thought that shes been gone for a year is really plaguing me. I get in crying jags so bad I nearly puke. Why is this so hard?

Why is this so hard? You lost your mom! Of course this is hard. I lost my mom too! I also lost my best friend to suicide and I swear the one year anniversary was about the toughest thing ever. The day wasnt as bad as the months, weeks, and days leading up to it! EXCRUCIATING!!!! You will get through this!!!! Anniversaries are just so unbelievably painful. My best friend's 10 yr anniversary was another HUGE fear, I just couldnt believe the pain leading up to it. Its now been 11 yrs for her and 9 yrs since my mom died. You will get through this. I promise you, the time leading up is worse than the actual day. Just cherish the memories of your dear mom. Hang in there!!! I am sorry for your loss! Hugs!!!!

I wish I knew why the anniversaries are always the hardest but they are for some reason. My cousin and 3 of his friends were killed over 5 years ago and each anniversary is always hard; mind you the first was the hardest and each one gets better but it is never easy. For some reason the anniversaries for me bring it back just like it was yesterday and I relive everything all over again. I hope you can find a way this year to remember your Mom in the happy times that you were together the way she would have wanted you to remember her.

hugs,
Amanda