This always seems to happen, especially when I live alone and/or school starts. I can't stand being alone. When I'm with friends or in public, I act and feel perfectly fine. But once I go home, I feel absolutely horrible. I just feel down, depressed, no reason to do my homework, no reason to do anything for that matter and that nothing is right. It's not hard to see how this can take a toll on my academics which only comes back and makes it worse.

Should I see someone? If so, who? This has been going on for as long as I can remember but I always brushed it off. My school does have psychological services but in talking to my friend who went there for issues she was having, their solution for everyone was "go take an aspirin and get more sleep".

It may also be easy to say hang out or talk to people more. I would if I could. But realistically, I do not have many close friends at this school and the friends I usually talk to are very busy.

Thanks for any suggestions anyone has.

Edit: I might also add that I have OCD. Not major, but there are some things I have to check continuously, phrases I have to repeat, etc. It does have the tendency to get worse when I am stressed. Just thought this may be related after reading a few posts.

in my laymans opinion sounds more like an anxiety disorder then a deprresion issue, mind you most of the time I do not have a clue what I am saying

My friend, I know what you're saying. My depression started in high school - I joined every club so that I didn't have to spend time alone. Same in university. I didn't realize I needed help until I was 25 years old. Kudos to you for knowing you need help. I suggest going to see your school's psych services; it can't hurt. Ask them for a referral for an outside doctor. Your family doctor can also refer you (or a walk in clinic). If you have insurance, you'll be find for payments. Otherwise, ask about family doctors who do psych as well, so it'll be under your regular insurance.

And don't give up. Life doesn't have to be that much of a downer! Good luck! :)

Hi there,
I have found distraction is a great escapism from depression, being with people keeps the mind busy and alert and off underlying thoughts and fears. The problem is, as you already know, is that you cannot be around people every minute of the day, at some point you have to be alone and that is when your mind begins to tick over.

You have realised that you need help, that is a good thing because being around friends is only a small sticking plaster on a much bigger problem. And I think you already know that just waiting and hoping things will get better isn't going to change things. If the psych services at you college are no good then I advise that you explain to a Doctor how this has been affecting you, the full mental and physical symptoms - be aware that his first decision may be to reach for the meds, doctors do this all the time - be careful with that as I think that if you could recieve some form of counselling, that is a much better approach at first than going straight onto meds as they have many strong effects and are hard to kick later on.

Good luck, I hope you find the help you need,
all the best

Thanks for the responses!

One problem with seeking help for this problem which I've had for the past three years is that one night I will feel absolutely horrible and decide to take action the next day. But when I wake up the next day, I feel perfectly happy and fine and brush it all off. Then the cycle continues the next day or so. Does that mean anything?

Yeah, it means you're just like everyone else ;). Depression and anxiety often have night/day cycles. The key is not to just brush it off when you feel better. In fact when you feel better is a good time to make the appointment for the doctor, because you'll be more practical about it.

Me, I would get really really depressed, but not real often... maybe a few days every two weeks, with milder depression scattered in there too. It was still a problem. But since "most" of the time I felt OK, it took me forever to decide to see a psych. Now I wish I had gone a long time ago.

One thing that might help is to jot down in a journal how you feel from day to day or at different times during the day. That'll help the doctor to diagnose what's going on too.